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Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Kim dishes on the spa debacle and thinks the new girls need to back off. 

By Kim Zolciak-Biermann

How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta on Peacock and the Bravo App.

Wow, what an episode! Drama, drama, drama! Lets start from the beginning.

Like you all saw last week, I have preparing for Kandi's album promo tour for weeks. I have been going to Jan Smith and my choreographer Mitchell to make this perfect for Kandi and myself. I understand that since I am an opening act for her that my performances will set the mood for hers, so I want to make NO mistakes!

How cute was my angel Ariana walking around in Mommy's heels? She's a mini-me for sure!

Okay, now the part you're all READING for! Kim vs. Cynthia and Phaedra!

Now listen. Before I begin, let it be known that I did NOT intend to argue with anyone. I thought this would be a nice spa day for all the Housewives to get together and have girl time! But there is always one comment that changes the whole mood.

I asked Cynthia if she was serious about the friendship contract she gave NeNe. She said it was a joke, but I wanted her to know I thought it was a tad bit crazy! I mean, rehab... and death! Does she do drugs? Is she planning a wedding and a funeral? 

But one thing I want to address is that she said she is "weirded out" that: 

1. I wear a wig. 

2. I had a full on relationship with a married man.

3. That I 'think' I can sing! 

To respond: 

1. Cynthia, your hair changes every episode, and I am sure you have worn a wig in about seven of them. 

2. Cynthia, Big Poppa's wife was living ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY when we were together (Remember, you attended my surprise party in May at HIS house). Umm, no wife there... 

3. And you find it weird that I THINK I can sing? Well, Cynthia, I don't believe you have a hit song, have gone on tours and performed at thousands of clubs but... I can't sing? Okay! Then you can't model! Because I'm pretty sure I have never heard of you before you joined the cast of the show! Sit down, new girl. Don't come for Kim, because Kim will come harder! I'm really not the one to mess with.

So we moved on from that. Then someone asked Phaedra how her baby was, and she got defensive and decided to give me attitude. Okay, bring it! 

She says I'm two-faced and rude? If I were rude, I would have shut you up when you said your baby was "7lbs and 23oz." Is your baby 7lbs 23oz or 8lbs 7oz? I know he was about 50 when you were "5 months." A lawyer should have her facts straight. 

She proceeded to tell me I am two-faced because I had SO much to say about her baby. We ALL had a lot to say about her due date drama, because she was clearly not telling the truth. But she came for me, because she knows NeNe will attack her, Sheree will pull her hair, and Cynthia will give her a weird contract. I've been attacked by worse before, so I think I can handle you!

Let me say that, I would NEVER talk about anyone's child in a negative way. I have two beautiful, healthy girls and a baby on the way, and if anyone dares to talk about my kids, I'm whooping some a--. So why would I negatively bash her gorgeous baby boy? I said it's IMPOSSIBLE for her to be having a baby at seven months, and if she was, she was having either a school bus or an alien, because no doctor would even consider delivering a baby at 28 weeks!

I told her I was a nurse and she proceeded to say she didn't believe me, and she wanted to see the documentation that proves it! Okay, watch it, because now you're insulting my intelligence. I don't need to go around Atlanta bragging about my degrees. I'm sorry Fake-dra, but I don't carry my education documents in my Louis bag! You're saying I was never a nurse, I'm saying its impossible for you to have a child at 7 months. Okay! Fair, thats fine!  Stop telling lies about me, and I'll stop telling the truth about you! I've been dealing with BS from crazy women for two seasons now, I'm definitely not backing down to the new girls. 

Until next week,

xoxox 

Kim

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