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NeNe Leakes

Tough Love

NeNe shares her heartache with Brice.

Oct 12, 2010

Boy was this a tough episode for me! You know over the years I've learned that good friends are hard to find, and I cherish the friendships that I have. The things that make a good friendship are loyalty and trust, which are important to me. Being in this business I have found that a lot of people are around for the wrong reasons. I finally got my chance to talk with Dwight privately at Uptown Supper club where Kandi was performing. First I wanted to apologize for my behavior, which I did, and second, I wanted answers! I asked Dwight if he had said that he loaned Gregg 10k. As you saw, he said no, that Kim was lying. Then I asked what actually transpired between he and Gregg. Dwight never really gave me an answer, but I was okay with what he said because I realized in that moment that I was closing that chapter of my life. I forgave him but knew myself well enough that I wouldn't forget this. I didn't want somebody around that made me feel like I had to keep watching my back to see if they were being shady or not. I'm happy to speak to Dwight if I see him out, but friends we can never be! 

Watching me and my son just brought me to tears! I want you all to know, that I'm no different from you as a parent. I'm going through what many parents are facing today with their teenagers and young adults. As I type this blog my heart breaks and the tears won't stop flowing when I speak of my child. The love I have for my children is everlasting. You never want to see your child struggle or take the wrong path in life. I know as a young adult you make mistakes, and as a parent you want to be able to catch them when they fall, but sometimes, "The fall is better than the catch." This is where "tough love" enters the picture! When Brice was younger, I tried to give him everything and now looking back that probably wasn't the best thing, because he never had to work or earn anything. I was trying to make up for being a single parent and fill the void of an absent father. As a single mother, I did what I thought was best. I'm hopeful that one day Brice will thank me for the "tough love," because I want nothing more than to see him become a happy, healthy, successful man! Keep us in your prayers. Thank you all so much for your support! 

Nene Leakes

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Dwight and Fake'dra
Dwight and Fake'dra NeNe gives her side of the Dwight drama and her impression of Phaedra. October 12, 2010 The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 3 / Episode 1 / NeNe Leakes
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Nene you are not alone when it comes to our chrildren, I am going throught the sam things with my girls, They want me to work, come home feed them and pick up behind them, and we are talking about a 21year old and a 16 year old, I just stop doing anything for them at this point......So good luck with your son and everything will work out.

You go girl. I must say that over the last two seasons you haven't always been my favorite person however after last night I have changed my mind. I think our NeNe may be growing up. I can totally relate to the single mother syndrome trying to make up for an absent father. I felt like you were talking to my son! I really commend you for opening up your heart and soul on national television no less! Being a parent is the toughest job in the world and I just want to let you know that I think you are doing the right thing. As heartbreaking as this is for you stay firm and continue to love because he will eventually thank you for this! You and your family are in my prayers!

NeNe, I was so emotionally moved by the scene with your son last night. I have never posted a comment on any of the housewives show. However, after reading your blog, I just had to let you know that yes, other parents are going through similar situations with their children. While watching the scene with Bryson, I swear, it was like deja vu for me. I went through the almost exact same thing in the same way with my son, with the exception of the jail thing and he didn't have a younger brother, but a younger sister. In our situation, my daughter found marajuana in his room. And needless to say you know he got the what for. He and I had almost verbatim the exact discussion. Even what you stated in the blog about giving Brice everything because you were a single mom was my situation. And like you, all I wanted at the end of the day was for my son to position himself to take care of himself at least as well, but I was hoping better, as I took care of him as a single mom. Nevertheless, after a lot of tears and tough love on my part he appears to be coming around. He is not as successful as I would have liked based on his former academic ability, but I have also realized that I can't live his life for him; nor, can I live my life through him. Keep you head up. Peace & Blessings!!

Nene, I commend you as a mother! It's hard watching our children making bad choices, but I applaud you on not being an enabler. Not over indulging Bryson and then complain about his choices. I have to admit, you made me laugh out loud, when you said he'd "lost his damn mind". In that situation, I'd say the same thing to my son. My kiddos are still young, and I pray I never have to have that conversation. But thanks for allowing us to see that you deal with parenting head on and don't brush it under the rug. Looking forward to a great season!

You showed yourself to be the most honest, poised and strong housewife that we all know and love in yesterday's episode. It was great to see a balance to the fun and jokester Nene we all love as well. I saw the reality of your life which is sadly the reality for many parents today - giving too much out of guilt or wanting to give their kids more than they had and in turn realizing too much of a something is never good when you're trying to teach your kids the value of money, education and hard work. I love how open you were in the show and in this blog about giving your son too much because it shows you're not trying to cover his tracks to make you look better on TV; it is what it is. I saw a lot of my parents in you yesterday and I am glad you stood up and told him like you saw it even if cameras were around. Stick to your guns as hard as it may be to see him struggle because you are the mature, responsible adult in this scenario so you DO know best. The struggle always makes you a better person and appreciate what you have more, so he'll eventually learn - he has to if he wants to live a productive life. He may keep making mistakes and it may still be a long road ahead but I wish you the best in all aspects of your life and will keep you and your family in my prayers.

P.S. Dwight is so fake and affected (and loving the attention). You're doing well by staying away from shady people.

Nene...my heart breaks for what you are going through. But, Brice is going to be FINE!! He is simply going through his trials "now"...getting it out of his system. Sometimes that's better than going through these things at 40 or 50 yrs. of age. You just keep that firm grasp on him and don't let up & it'll all work out!! Trouble don't last ALWAYS. Some may think you are too bold and outspoken, but Nene you love hard and genuinely...and U are a very emotional person! I admire that about you and your sense of keeping it real!! Much respect Nene...

NeNe I love you even more after watching this episode. Girl all I want you to know is that you are LOVED and you are obviously doing something right because the lazy unproductive people around you are gettin reallllll uncomfortable! Keep doing it! Surround yourself with fantastic people who LOVE YOU who are bringing something to the table!!! Im so glad you have really let the audience in this season, you are dealing with a lot of the same things we all are dealing with, so you are not alone. And if you ever feel down, just read the comments and message board baby, cuz you know we got your back!

He needed that. He thinks your being hard, if he goes to jail, he ain't seen hard yet.

NeNe...Even though it killed you, you did the right thing with your son.

Watch out for Dwight...he told Phaedra on the first episode that he loaned Greg $10,000 dollars so Dwight is lying not Kim.

I love you and Kim as friends; if it weren't for the two of you I wouldn't watch this hot crockpot mess of crazy.

xoxox

Nene, I was so touched by your response to your son. You said all the right things. I have a fifteen year old son that is overall a good boy, but his priorities are all out of whack. We want so much for our children that it breaks our hearts to see the poor choices they make. I am very proud of your strenght and vulnerability. I pray for you and Brice, and all young black men.

We can only raise our children the best way we know how, and just continue to love them. Sometimes they have to find out the hard way that parents know best most of the time. Just keep praying for him.

Nee Nee, You crack me up! But seriously, the talk you had with your son was priceless! You were clear, strong and covered all the bases. I think you are a great mom and calling it like it is with tough love. Your "speech" was perfect! You go girl!

OH NeNE!!!! how you handled your son brought me to tears because I also have a 20 year old that has broke my heart! The tears i have shead, the nights without sleep because he IS my child but won't make the right discussions...As i watched the episode transpire between you and Brice...i told my husband..."i need to get a little NeNe in me!" Thank you for being the strong woman that you are!

Nene,

I admire your strength and realness. Watching the episode with you and Brice was very emotional and surreal. As a single parent I have a 18 year old and yes I want him to achieve great things, breaking that stereo type that single mothers can not raise good quality brilliant children, because of the father not being there. My son graduated in June 10. He's presently working, and in college. Trust me it wasn't easy getting him to this point, however I praise god that he has begun to build his life. High school was a struggle for him, after attending 3 different schools, I finally found the school that was a good fit for him, with that came additional running around such as taking him to school and picking up, as the school was in a different city from which we lived. Stay on Brice and know that he will appreciate your tough love when it's all said and done. It' seems when they reach a certain age they want to learn things for themselves but they do not have to go through everything especially hurtful things if they would listen to their parents. Take Care

NeNe, I am so sorry for the anguish that you are obviously going through with your son. Tough love is the best and hopefully your son Brice will understand before it's too late. Right now, he is young and probably doing stupid things because of peer pressure. Pray and continue to pray and let God keep you strong. God will wrap His loving arms around you and your son. I love these words of wisdom that a friend said to me once. I hope that they will help you also. "As a woman, you are not automatically assigned the job of "chief worrier." Instead, fill your heart with trust, hope, and God's peace. You'll sleep so much better at night." Love ya much and stay strong.

I admire your strength and realness. Watching the episode with you and Brice was very emotional and surreal. As a single parent I have a 18 year old and yes I want him to achieve great things, breaking that stereo type that single mothers can not raise good quality brilliant children, because of the father not being there. My son graduated in June 10. He's presently working, and in college. Trust me it wasn't easy getting him to this point, however I praise god that he has begun to build his life. High school was a struggle for him, after attending 3 different schools, I finally found the school that was a good fit for him, with that came additional running around such as taking him to school and picking up, as the school was in a different city from which we lived. Stay on Brice and know that he will appreciate your tough love when it's all said and done. It' seems when they reach a certain age they want to learn things for themselves but they do not have to go through everything especially hurtful things if they would listen to their parents. Victory starts here!

I think you handled the situation with your son well. You gave him the straight up facts and told him how the bread was going to be buttered!!! I love you NeNe Leaks

NeNe I applaud you for your honesty and transparency. I know what you did for Brice had to be hard,especially with cameras in your face. It brought me to tears also. I too am disappointed in Dwight, and am glad you were able to get closure. Good friends are hard to find and now it seems hard to keep. I think he probably got caught up in the "hoop-la". Wishing you happiness and peace of mind.

I just want you to know that you are still my favorite housewife. I love how real you keep things. There is something that saddens me about this season and that is the relationship with you and Greg. I hope things really work out for you guys. I have always felt that you two have a real marriage. My advice to you is to never give up and please don't give up on your marriage. You may be on top now, but think of all the things that you and Greg have been through. You said in your book how he stepped up and took great care of you and your son Brice. Please don't let the limelight get in the way of what you guys have. Greg is probaly having a harder time than you are with your new status. Just try to keep in mind that your stardom can leave as fast as it came, but your true loves will always be there. When I saw your conversation with your son, it brought chills. I felt the love that you were speaking of. Keep your head up and I will keep you guys in my prayers.

Nene it takes a lot to open up about something so private and heart wrenching. I believe that this will be a growing season for you. With you husband Greg, your son, and your "friendships". I truly believe that we will get to see the real you this season. Everything in life isn't about how many cars you have or expensive jewelry you keep. If everyone looked closely, you are just about the only one (outside of Kandi), who flaunts their worldly possessions. We never see you trying to buy a pair of $1200.00 shoes. You have certainly earned your keep. People enjoy you because you have a great personality that is contagious.You have become extremely independent. I hope that you and your husband can make it work. Sometimes the role of a wife may be that she is the bread winner. Greg will need to communicate more with you and once you have that, you both can work out your differences without outsiders coming in telling you things that you should already know. Stay Blessed!

Sometimes you have to show tough love for the ones we love. I commend you for standing your ground. Be strong, I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

You haven't always been my favorite, but I gained new respect for you last night. What you told Brice was right on and good for you for having the courage to say it. I hope he is smart enough to listen.

I was going through the same thing NeNe was going through with my son and he is an only child the tears that she shed was sooooo real because I felt the same exact way she did. My son turn 18 and thats when I seen the trouble coming, the crowd he was hanging with coming home when he wanted to not wanting to go to school or work not helping around the house .And just like NeNe husband Greg My husband was through with it and I felt like a single parent to.No arent wants to see their child go through none of that stuff .i may not live in a big house or pay for maid service but my son has a nice clean home , food on the table it may not be what he wants but it food and nice clothes and shoe we buy when does good by us and like I still tell my son still to this day if you help yourself we will help you and two parents who love him dearly .My son is 19yrs old and is now going to a special college program, So you go NeNe you did the right thing I got your back

Nene, Its not only single mothers that go through what you're going through with Brice, I believe we are dealing with a lot of entitled young people my son being one of them. We also had to do an ultimatum (tough love) and in the long run even though we offered what we thought was a great alternative (school) he chose to join the military. I use to blame myself but I realized that no matter what you do and how good a parent you are the kids are going to make decisions that you have no control over. Keep being Mom but Brice will have to do the work from now on, it is painful to watch them do things the hard way.

That's o.k. that you yelled at your son. He needed it. You are his one true support and as you said you will always love him, but he needs to do better with his life. Number one should be him getting a job. Once he sees how little he earns on a high school education he'll want to go to college.

My heart went out to you during your conversation with your son. I've been where you are and it's extremely difficult to throw the hammer down on your child; however, being a parent means making the difficult decision.

I empathize with your sentiments regarding Dwight; unfortunately, I believe you ask from others what you aren't able to give in return. You feel Dwight betrayed you. On some levels, perhaps, you're correct. On the flip side of that coin, your friend thought he was helping out the husband of his friend. Should he have told you that Greg had come to him asking to borrow money? That's a question only he can answer. What perplexes me the most is you expected Dwight to give you more consideration than your own husband did. In order to get the type of friendship you expect, you have to be that type of friend. You're not. Are you really willing to throw away your friendship with Dwight over a judgment call..how unfortunate!

Nene Leakes ! God bless you gilrfriend.I felt all of your passion as you spoke to your son . Stay strong my sister things will work out.But there is one thing I want you to do, please give your husband a break. I am sure that it makes him very uncomfortable because he can no longer provide that way he used too. He is a man Nene and men just don't tell everything. His pride must be hurting and please allow him room to breath and have some privacy in his thoughts. He may not want to share certain things because he is trying to find his way back to the prosperity level he had before. A man needs the room to figure things out and the constant nagging does not help at all. My husband went throught the same thing and I had to allow him time and support to get it together and eventually it all came back together. It's not a matter of him keeping secrets from you , just give him space, he loves you and he needs you to be patient and supportive. I pray that you will be able to read this comment.

I have a 18 yr old that I have went through the same thing with. He was in the room with me when this scene came on and it was like Ne-Ne was sayin the same thing I did to him. Then i said to my son" i didnt tell Ne-Ne to say that. She proved to him that Im not the only furstrated mom sayin this...Hope all goes well Ne-Ne.

Nene, I think that the way you responded to your son was appropriate. You are right, we as parents will face some difficult obstacles and have to make some difficult decisions. I think you are on the right track with realizing that it is time or him to grow up. As a young black man, if he doesn't work on himself and his future right now, he won't have as much time as he thinks to catch up. Our young men are getting caught up in too much mess and the more we can encourage them to stay away from trouble and encourage responsibility, the better we can pray and hope they be. Ultimately, it is his choice, so his outcome will never be your fault as long as you tried.

Stay strong, mama!

You made me cry NeNe and I took notes on how to deal with my children and tough situations. I have a very colorful way of expressing myself like you do and I really see you trying to stay true to NeNe while implementing a little healthy "change in attitude."

Love you girl and I hope I win the Bravo contest so I can hang with you.

I will admit that while I think you are hysterically funny at times- I do not always like your behavior- I find you to be a little less than civilized at times, although at the same time- I understand your reasons.

I would like to address the scene with you and tour son Brice. I actually cried and felt your pain during this segment. You absolutely did the right thing- I hope he realizes how much you love him and how much you want him to succeed in life. I only hope that one day- I do not have to have that conversation with one of my sons. You seem to be a good mother Nene. I sincerely hope that things work out for the better with Brice.

What is wrong with our children? It's hard to believe that even as young adults our children don't appreciate the sacrifices we make. I see a lot of my six year old son in Bryson and what scares me is that I am always told to give him time. I swear I look at the young adults and children around me and I feel hopeless, and I am only 29. No matter the sacrifices we make or privileges we give them they don't want much of anything from life.

NeNe I want to say your one of my fav housewives of ATL! *bravo on last night episode* I love you this season you always keep it real! You are shedding your layers this season and being more deep and much more then just flashy NeNe. I totally agreed with everything you said to your son. It may be difficult for him to hear the truth, but when he looks back years later he will see you were right and you went "hard" because you love him. GO GIRL THIS SEASON!

Nene you are my favorite and always have been. You are misunderstood because you keep it real and you don't mince words or play nice just because somebody's little feelings get hurt. I am so proud of you and you make me proud to be a mom because like you I am single parent and I have a grown son that I have had to put in his place many time like you did Brice and also put him out of my house to show him I am not to play with. But it does hurt because it is your child and they need to understand so when they have children just like you said, they can do the same. I love you! Keep on keeping it real and watch the fake and phony people. I am so sorry about you and Dwight's friendship as well but sometimes you have to do what you have to do and love from afar and keep it moving.

NeNe, I just watched the episode where your son asked to move back home. It helped to reenforce the decision I made to tell my son he has 6 wks to get out of my house. I love him more than life, but at 25yo he does not work or help around the house. He will pawn stuff to get money for video games and then sit up all night playing them. Then if I say anything he tries to make me feel sorry for him. Enabling adult children to be irresponsible cannot be good. You will be in my prayers.

Nene,

It's too bad that you aren't able to be friends with Dwight, but at least you can be "friend-ly"....good luck.

Nene, I watch that episode last night and the part when you were speaking to your son touched me in a personal way. I could really feel your pain and was glad you took the time to explain to your son what was really going on because I do believe your adults do not see what they are doing. I have two daughters and I believe no I’m more than certain that they mother tried to pay that same debt (being a single mother and not raising one), that you do not owe and I pray more mothers read this blog and understand that you can not give these kids everything they want and do everything for them. I pray that everything come around with you and your son. I have a strong belief if your raise them correctly they may go astray, but they will come around, you just have to pray it’s not to late…

A family that prays together stays together! Keep doing what your doing from one single mom to another...

This is the NENE LEAKS SHOW!!!

NeNe...you are so right. I may not agree with how you handle things on the show but I do agree with just about everything you said about being a mom and wanting your kids to have advantages..maybe that we didnt have growing up. Beind a single mom for most of my oldest childs life I spoiled her and made all her decions. Now she is on her own making crazy decsions and sometimes you just have to let them fall flat on their faces so that they can learn how to make better decsions in the future. I aploud you for making tough dec. when it comes to your child no one knows there child better than a loving mother. Kudos!

Stand your grounds regarding your son. I hope you and Greg will give it your all, in working things out together. Many blessing to you and your family.

NeNe: You did what you had to and it will make Brice a better person because of it! Stay strong!

Oh I loved it last night. Lets start with how Nene handled Bryson, with all her MIGHT I saw how she love her son but enough to tell him like it is!!!!!!!!! We all what the best for our children but baby you did that! Some tough love is what most children need these days. Yes indeed I am a dirty south Louisiana southern belle and Nene said a mouth full. I hope millions on top of millions say how Nene explained to Dwight how she felt. It's important that friends understand each other and come to an agreement. Nene says it like it is and that's alright with me because not enough people do. Bam!

Wow, I cried during this episode when you were talking to Brice. I have a 17 year old son in a similar situation and it was like me talking to him. I feel so alone about this sometimes and it made me realize that there are probably many of us single moms out there who are trying to do the best job we can without the father in the picture. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Don't ever forget you're a great mom!

Nene everone has a promble in life,but we should not take it out on our friends.I understand stress,it can harm the soul.Find what you are looking for and if you don't maybe God has step in .

Nene, the scene with you and your son should be recorded by every parent. And be used as a tool to explain a mother's feelings. Every teen should see it. And even though your scence with Dwight was a closure, it brought tears to my eyes.

Nene...You handled the situation with Brice perfectly. GOOD JOB GIRL! I see my mother going thru the EXACT same thing with my 2 baby sisters, one 24 & one 20 yrs of age...and it frustrates me. My mom and dad struggle on a daily basis finacially & yet my sissys continue to not care and are sooo disrespectful to them plus they say my parents are TOO HARD on them. I was glad to see you point out all the little things that it takes to survive and live in today's tough economy....these are things that todays youth dont think about....and that is where a lot of societal problems come into play these days. Sooo keep up the good parenting & letting them know how hard you work for your valuables...they need tough love. Thumbs up to you!

I felt every moment that Ne Ne had with son. She should her motherly role very well

Nene, Best Show Ever!

Please forgive Dwight! As much as you have fallen out and started over again with Kim, you must do the same for Dwight. He too probably has been going through hard times and made some bad decisions. We all have! Friends and marriages go through hard times. I pray that you and Dwight can have a glass of wine soon!

Nene, I am pregnant with our first child (Emma is due December 15th) and I have been watching "The Real Housewives of..." since it began and of all the housewives and moms I have watched I am MOST proud and IMPRESSED by how you handled your son, Bryce. Most of the time I see the mothers of these shows try to be friends to their children instead of parents and FOR THE FIRST TIME I saw A MOTHER. It was refreshing and all I kept thinking was BRAVO and AMEN! Some of your castmembers and housewives of the other shows (the OC in particular) could really learn a thing or two from you about being a truly loving parent. Kids have plenty of friends - they need PARENTS who are not afraid to step it up and guide their kids. Again, BRAVO and AMEN! You make me even more excited to be a mom!

Thank you for setting the best example of a mother I have ever seen in all the years that I have watched these shows.

Sincerely,

Jennifer (almost a Mom) from Lebanon, Ohio