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Hello! I hope everyone's January has been productive and indicative of their New Year's Resolutions wish list. While Sunday's episode edited our four day excursion into a 45 minute fiasco, it did not fully encompass how tense and uncomfortable this girls' getaway truly was. The trip was planned in Cynthia's honor but as the old adage says, "Things don't always work out as planned."
After watching the episode, several possible topics came to mind; the importance of financial planning as it relates to Cynthia and her wedding woes, house guest etiquette and NeNe's lack thereof, Kim and Sweetie's relationship or better yet, NeNe's slave barrage targeted at Sweetie. In the shadow of Martin Luther King's birthday and in the wake of black history month, I decided race relations was the most poignant issue since last two episodes have flirted with this very sensitive topic. Is Kim a racist? Is Sweetie a modern day slave? Is NeNe being a bully as usual, or is she really concerned about Sweetie's well being?
While everyone will have their opinion, as they are rightfully entitled to; personally, I do not think Kim is a racist, nor do I think Sweetie is a modern day slave. However, I do believe that NeNe is a bully and couldn't care less about Sweetie's well being. In this era of political correctness we often skirt around the hard topics, because we are afraid of offending others and do not want to be accused of being a racist. But avoiding sensitive issues does not change our country's history, which is fraught with the mistreatment of people of color. Admittedly, race relations have improved drastically over the past 40 years, but improvement does not heal the wounds caused by the aggregation of disparate treatment. As a person of color, I understand the ramifications of being denied rights, excluded and rejected. A modern day racist doesn't dress in white sheets or burn crosses, they are much more subtle and covert. Unlike Kim, a racist would not employ you or treat you like a family member, as she has with Sweetie. I had the opportunity to have several long conversations with Sweetie and Kim in Miami, and during those chats I realized that Kim and Sweetie have a sibling like relationship that spans well over a decade. My heart went out to Sweetie because as a woman of color, I know comments that evoke historical hatred can make you doubt what you know in your heart is true.
Here's a thought, instead of taking the easy road under the guise of being politically correct and making hasty judgments about matters as serious as racism, we should face the issue and attempt to have transparent dialogue in the direction of resolve. Every culture is different and it's easy to adopt perspectives depicted via various mediums. Opinions do not constitute racism, nor does the way you treat a friend make you a racist. Racism says a whole group of people are inferior because of their skin color and they should not be treated equally. Being politically correct does not change the existence of poor race relations; it just gives us an acceptable mask to hide behind rather than address any real issues. In the words of Pierre Berton, "Racism is a refuge for the ignorant. It seeks to divide and to destroy. It is the enemy of freedom, and deserves to be met head-on and stamped out."
I agree with you! However, racisim exists in all cultures. I feel that NeNe acts in this manner at times. She is a bully and very dishonest. All she does is run her mouth. NeNe also should be arrested for assault.
Well said Phaedra. I must say, you have definitely grown on me. I wasnt so sure about you for the 1st half of the season. Since you have given birth, I feel you have definitely calm down a bit. Therefore Im just gonna blame that fiasco that came out your mouth on the pregnacy hormones because you appear to be cool latley. Hopefully motherhood have given you a diffrent perspective on life.
P.S. Aden is beautiful.
You go Girl....well said!! I'm so tired of Nene being a bully and people say "she's just keeping it real". No, she's out of line, and has no self control. Kim, in my opinion, has changed due to the noteriety from the show and her songs. I don't find her as endeering as previously, but underneath the wig and all the makeup, she's nice and in no way deserves the volitile reaction from Nene. Nene needs to get over herself....and her new big azz teeth:)
I have live thru the bad times you just dont know. All of you are much younger than me, and I have seem a lot. You all diden live thru this. People of my age made it much better for the younger people who did not go thru the things I went thru.
It is not right how Kim treats Sweetie like she does, I have seen seem her hit her with a stuff animal because she had put it out to sell with the furniture Kim was selling, that was not cute. She may be treated as part of the family. I bet Kim would not do treat her kids or her family members like she treat Sweetie. At lease do not do it oh TV, because I did not like it from the bening. I have seen to much in my life time to see this again.
Phaedra, I personally did not like you in the beginning, after this article I learned how educated, you are, and brave to put this article out and say what you needed and wanted to say, I have to say whether you are liked or not, you lady, have to be respected, and everyday more and more I am learning not to judge a book by its cover, so thanks for that lesson, and if I ever need a good lawyer, and has the money, you are on my team, I just have a challenge for you, could you try and educate some of those women.
You brought clearity to a touchy subject. Kim doesn't always think outside of the present moment. Nene thinks about Nene. It is a shame Sweetie was place in this position, she seems to care about doing her best.
Intelligent, thoughtful comments. I did not like you at first but I have grown to see you in a better light. I think you are being more yourself as the season progresses and the real you is much better than the camera you. Thank you for letting us know what we haven't seen on-screen regarding kim & Sweetie. NeNe's racial comments hurt Sweetie more than Kim. Also, was NeNe a slave when she stripped for men? Most would agree that stripper behavior puts you in a much more serviant level than the work Sweetie does for Kim. Do I think Kim should treat Sweetie better? Yes, but is it slavery, no. NeNe is hurting right now and is taking her hurt out on Kim.
he phaedra, congradulation on the birth of you and apollos son, i find you to be a real person, put god first and then your husband and your son, and you can go wrong. best wishes for a wonder life. and hes so cute( the bady). out of all the women you have it all, the home, job, baby and the man. you go girl. people will try to get in your business, but keep out and you and apollos will be together forever'
Phaedra...I must admit, I did not like you in the beginning of the season, but you have definitely emerged as one of the more grounded Housewives this season. You still have your moments, but don't we all :) I enjoyed reading your extremely well written blog entry and agreed with your points. Just wanted to give credit where credit it due!
Your comments are spot on Phaedra. Great analysis you can't judge a relationship, on the outside, based on physical characteristics. Kim has plenty of issues, but racism is not one of them. Nene, was out of line and owes everyone, but especially Sweetie an apology.
I love watching you Phaedra. Your carriage, sense of style and loyalty are to be admired. Keep representing us southern girls as the fierce, independent and style conscious divas we are!
Well - I guess I have to drop down dead of shock, because I agree with you, and like what you are saying. I have to admit, since you had the baby, you seem nice and funny. Now, I am thinking the way you acted before was a sort of pre-partum craziness or something (when I was pregnant with my first, I did act crazy sometimes myself). Now, you sound thoughtful, intelligent, etc. Also, sympathetic. Knock me down with a feather!
Very well said Phaedra. I must admit that in the beginning of the show I did not like you much. As the series continued, I have found you to be quite funny and down to earth. I suspect the change in you is the result of your very beautiful baby boy.
Hope to see you next season as well.
SMART AS HELL!!! Tis a shame that alot of RHOA viewers view NeNe as "keepin it real" when she's "keepin it bitter, angry, jealous, and miserable" I don't particularly care for your comments directed at Cynthia since Cynthia doesn't hide her wealth or lack there of. She doesn't live in a rented house in the burbs like NeNe and Sheree. She doesn't drive a car she can't afford. She lives in a house that's as beautiful or more spectacular than yours. I believe your next on NeNe's list, so to get you prepared, when she jumps in your face. Look straight up at her, let her rant until she's through, and say, "Thank God my husband and I have jobs and a mortgage." BAM!!!
i really didn't like Pheadra however now i am starting to especially because of this blog she is so right about Nene however she did leave out Kim's comments as a human whether or not Nene is a intern for 11 Alive or not that is none of Kim's bussiness. Tardy for the Party wouldn't have gotten anywhere without Kandi who infact got cheated by Kim who payed her no money. And the comment Kim made about your husband is horrible what someone does in their past has nothing to do with their present. As long as Apollo isn't still commiting crimes it a okay.
hey guh... you grew on me.. i didnt care for you AT FIRST.. but you are down to earth..and funni.. . lol... and I LOVE YOU NOW... i saw your beautiful baby with you husband a few weeks back at lenox.... well cant wait for the reunion....
Love it. You hit the nail on the head and I couldn't agree more. Yes Kim talks to Sweetie in a way I wouldn't allow anyone to talk to me, but I wouldn't call her racist. That's their relationship, and if Sweetie doesn't mind, then why should we.
you are actually gorgeous.... the only tyme i didnt care for you do was when you was rocking that pony to the side lol..... but its cool you was jus chilln at home lol.....
and i agree with you about nene could care less if sweetie was being talked to bad etc... i thought nene had changed.. but the las two episodes she reverted back... maybe cuz of the stuff she dealing with at home... but i aint gone lie NENE brings the DRAMA lol... but this time she was WRONG... NENE is funni... we laugh with her AND at her!
Never commented on your blog before.. You're right on point.. and its very fitting to the situation. I hate to admit it.. but I am staring to like you.. when you keep it real.. you seem like a cool, nice person to be around.
I usually don't agree with you and your attitude about anything, but, I have to agree with you on the issue of Kim not being a racist and Sweetie not being a modern day slave. I also agree hole heartedly with you that Nene Leakes is a Bully in every since of the word and dead and that she is not a person who any of you should try a befriend.
Now as for you, to me with your ugly remarks about all of the girls, you are sounding more and more like Nene. You live in a glass house you should be very careful about the stones you throw and try and hiding you hands.
Take care of yourself, your husband and your baby. - until next time be well.
I agree Phaedra! Your blog is right on the money and I could not be happier that SOMEONE has said something sensible about the race issue. I find it so disheartening that NeNe is so ignorant she would even bring something like that up. What kind of ratings would the show REALLY get if there were only BLACK people watching??! I have not watched one single episode where I felt Kim was treating Sweetie as a slave - I think they are funny and cute. I think Ne-Ne is, as you put it - a Bully!...although you forgot a few words in describing her....like GORILLA, MOOSE, COCK-EYED, IGNORANT, UGLY....I could go on and on! She yells and acts like a fool to get her IGNORANT point across and it all makes her look even worst. Actually, I want to be racist for a moment...and go on record to say..."NeNe is the reason people sterotype BLACK WOMEN!" I commend you for being honest...Unlike Kandi..."Im just going to stay out of it"...please! Get a backbone! Go Phaedra!! Love your family and you make me laugh every episode. ::)
Phaedra.... Well said.. I agree. I think NeNe is a bully. I think she took her pent up frustrations regarding her marriage out on Kim under the guise of calling her out for being a racist.
I've really come to enjoy your time on the show, you say some of the funniest things and your bebe is gorgeous. :-)
I most agree and wish the rest of the housewives/Women would have the wisdom you have. Nene has a lot of issues and will have to heal herself from inside out. There is a lot of hate in her.
I love how you have your man in check . I love how you do things your way and the right way. At first I didnt like you, but now that your character has played out I like you, despise the white people comment that you made. You are def. the head of household and u let it be known what your thinking and how things are going to be done. you look fantastic after having a baby!
I have never appreciated your blog more than I have today! I'm so glad you see what we all see - Nene is a bully! Kim and Sweetie have a sisterly relationship and everyone can see that. I think Nene's jealousy and hatred of Kim really showed in the last episode and it wasn't pretty! It was supposed to be Cynthia's weekend and she basically ruined it by trying to take her home. I'm glad you brought the FUN to the party and enjoyed yourself. I'm sure after having a baby the last thing you wanted was drama going away with all the girls!!
I'm glad you addressed the issue of NeNe's attack on Kim and Sweetie. She took it to all sorts of levels that didn't need to go there.... Does she not know how to "communicate"? Isn't this what she blames Greg, her husband, for? If her whole "beef" was Kim's treatment of Sweetie, she chose the wrong way to get her message across. With her raging and threatening bodily harm.... where does that fit in with expressing to Kim that she treats Sweetie wrong? She was hiding behind that "message" to have an excuse to lash out. In her interviews she kept referring to Kim as a "child", that she acts "childish"... oh really? What do you call her act of calling her friend Diana and making the BOLD statement that she was staying at the mansion with her? Come on now, really?!?!
Phaedra, Although you have definitely said and done things on the show to truly embarass me as a Black woman, i do appreciate and agree with your blog today. I understand this is television and you guys all have to "hype" things up for entertainment and ratings-but I still appreciate the houswives (in all seasons) who are able to come across as genuine and true to themselves despite the need for "exaggeration". I think Kandi and Cynthia do a good job of this on this particular cast.
I will have to agree with your blog. I have been a Nene fan since the show started and I have seen a change in her this season. She has become a bully. She was bullied in the first season by Sheree’ and I guess since she is now "on top" she has become the bully. I guess its like when you are abused, instead of rising above it, you become the abuser. I think Nene is getting "standing up for yourself" and being a "bully" confused. Someone needs to tell her the difference. The way she acted during this Miami episode was disgusting.