I have received numerous comments about the remarks that I made on the episode that aired on Monday, October 18, 2010. I feel the need to respond to those comments, because I believe my remarks were generally misunderstood and are being used to portray me as someone I am not. I am not a racist. My heart has always been open to people of all races, ethnicities, and walks of life. If that were not the case, I would not have fallen in love with and married a man who is biracial and was raised by a white woman. The reality is that we live in a society where matters of race are not discussed honestly or openly for fear of being labeled a racist. And that really needs to change if we're going to move forward in any meaningful way as a melting pot of ideas, viewpoints, and experiences. While I do regret any discomfort or offense that my comments may have caused, I believe it is important that we use opportunities like this to create forums for dialogue and growth, not for personal attacks.
Your comments were not acceptable, and in fact, were off the mark. I'm white and myself, family and most white people I know don't typically eat foods from cans anymore than any other race of people. How small of you.
The first thing i did when i came to work was pull up this website just to see more comments about your hideous statements. To my surprise you blogged again, i was anxious to see what you read. I just knew you had a "Southern Belle" comment with intelligence and dignity. Instead, to my disappointment, you said not a D#$@ thing!! What was that?? Oh your apology???!!!! For a woman i've never met, (probably won't ever and thank goodness) you surely make me terribly sad/sorry for you. i prayed for you last night Phaedra, you have no sense.
If your husband is reading this, i strongly hope he get's the help that you need. And since it was "his idea" for a baby, hopefully he wouldn't want another with you. No, you are not a racist, but your views are totally IGNORANT. "Canned vegetable, and canned meats" because he was raised by a white woman (you said it not me) was ignorant!!! Why didn't you take your opportunity that you had to rephrase and use it wisely???
I never thought a lawyer needs a lawyer to help her fix their mess because you should have consulting with someone (perhaps your relationship mentor's) as to what to say so you won't damage more to yourself.
So what you represented Bobby Brown, now represent yourself.
Another thing, material things should be just for your own personal reward for your accomplishments. You can't take none of that to heaven, you act as if you never had nothing the way you brag about your things.
Take your comment and shove it!!!!
maybe u should have thought about that comment before u say things. i am white nad u have offended me. I have children and I cnat believe you think something so crazy. and I do cookand i cna cook better then u anyday. Not canned food either. you are a snob and i wish bravo would get rid of u!!!!!!
Phaedra i'm liking you so far, & since i am liking you (@ this point) i just want to let you know Apollo may be on the DL, i don't know him, but if i were you i would talk to l Lawrence (Sheree hairstylist) A.S.A.P.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JUST SAYING
She would have been better served just smiling and saying "That's Nice!"...like a real Belle would do. ;)
I agree, you need to apologize to your husband AND HIS FAMILY for the comment. I have to ask, how did your mother-in-law react?
You did nothing to clarifiy you only justified what you stated. I don't think anyone called you a racist only what you stated sounded racist. Your comments are completely unfounded and unthoughtful. You belittled your husband on national TV. When watching your clips on RH listen, really listen to your remarks and digs. 1st edpisode I liked you, however, the more clips I see of you the more unlikable you are becoming. I hope this isn't the "real" you and there is someone really likable in there. Remember just becasue there may be more 0's in your bank account does not make you any better in anyones eyes, (No one is jealous) you can't take it with you, we are all equals.
Maybe what Phaedra meant to say was that "while in prison for that Martha Stewart-like crime of automobile theft, my husband acquired a taste for canned foods and packaged meats". No apology necessary.
I have to agree with an earlier comment that was made that stated had it been that black children are not use to the finer things and white children are it would still be a generalization but it probably wouldn't require an apology. Hmm, double standards galore. I think you have to put into context that this is an individual who is appearing on a "reality show" we don't know other comments were not edited out or spliced together to make a better scene. People are so analytical of comments that one person is making in conversation with her husband, FYI we do not live in a post racial society.
chick chick chick! A southern belle?? well honey if you truly were or are a belle you know goodness and well history has white people eating better than we ever did! I was so embarrassed by your comments. and this clarify statement just exactly what did you clarify? you are in my opinion( we are all entitled to one even you) you are the most tacky housewife of them all. You got it messed up that you think you are fab. your always name dropping putting price tags on something and looking down at the others from what I see even your husband you make it a point to say he's not as refined as you or established in his career or financialy. Well I wish you luck in your future endeavors and go take some ettiquette classes please!
Your attempt at damage control is futile, Fakedra! At first, I didn't understand why Nene was hatin' on you already, but after Monday's episode, I understand. You know that if a housewife from Beverly Hills were to make a comment like that about black people, you'd have a fit!
I can only imagine what Apollo and his family felt when they heard you say that....
Phaedra, you really should not make such generalized, and really racists, comments about the differences between black and white families. I actually think you may have confused the terms black and white for classy and trashy. Let me clarify. Beating children is TRASHY. Confident, well-adjusted adults do not grow up fearing the people who are supposed to be caring for and loving them. Beating children is the ultimate betrayal of a parent/child relationship. Before you make another ignorant comment, my children (14 and 17) are VERY well behaved, and have NEVER been beaten. Making the generalized statement that white people eat canned food and black people eat home cooking is also a trashy, ignorant statement. I am white, and I very rarely eat anything canned. Your remarks are racist and offensive to people of ALL races. At first glance, a person might think that your husband was the lucky one to be a convict married to a lawyer, but now after seeing your behavior, it is definitely YOU who is the lucky one in the marriage. PLEASE do not EVER compare yourself to a "good southern woman" again. You are anything but that.
Phaedra Darling, you are as cute as a button, and it is refreshing to finally see a black woman of accomplishment in business as one of the new stars in this franchise, but...you have not clarified yourself at all in this blog nor have we seen an actual apology for your rather provincial, I daresay ignorant views on what "white people" eat. As you are in Atlanta, I'm sure you are no stranger to the popular epicurian markets Wild Oats, Whole Foods, and Trader Joe's. Are you aware that the first two markets originated in Colorado and Texas respectively...and Trader Joes is actually owned by ALDI (yes, the discount supermarket empire) in the Democratic Republic of Germany? I mean, how much more "white" can you get than be created, owned, operated, and marketed by Teutonic Anglo-Saxons in Central Europe? Do you not know that the dijon mustard you use in your cooking originates in France and not Athens, Georgia?-which, btw, the name of that town kills me, considering it's taken, as you already know as a lawyer, from the ancient seat where democracy originated 500 years before Christ, Athens Greece, and here we have one of its daughters expertly and INCORRECTLY informing us of what white people eat, lol! We can leave Europe out of it, because the truth is, the entire continent has a respect for and quality of fresh food for EVERYONE, unlike anything that is available to someone in the US without spending an atrocious amount of money. However, even if you've never seen the cheese farms in France, the meat houses in Tuscany, or the average farmer's markets here with fresh produce from Spain, Isreal, Turkey, and Portugal, I KNOW you've been to some of the most exciting food meccas is America: New York, Chicago, San Francisco, New Orleans, Los Angeles, Miami. I think the people who shop at their farmer's markets, Epicures, Williams-Sonomas, and Dean & Deluca in these cities are of ALL colors...and you know VERY well the average person (white or otherwise) will be not eating tinned meats and vegetables in these locales.
This poor man. The man sits at the head of the table. Phaedra dictates everything in that relationship, it's as if he's a child. She deals with that type of man because she can't handle a man who she believes is on her level. This relationship will fail if Phaedra doesn't adhere to her man's needs. God is a great place to start and to live by, if they listen! I love to see couples working through it together and living happpily. A couple means more than one, it's two. Blessings to them both.
When I heard her say thins I was so upset that I could not think straight. I am a black female who lives around Atlanta. I am so upset that she had the gall to say that. Living around Atlanta has made be realize how big a part race plays in the minds of people here. And like one viewer said if Linda from DC had said that about her man. Bravo would have gotten such a negative repsonse as well as Linda. Phaedra might be a racist but there must be some negative feelings toward white people in Phaedra somewhere. I am still upset by what she said. I am upset because I think black people take offense to anything negative that a white person may say, but then we turn around and say things just as bad.
Too late! Your comments were ignorant and idiotic. You made a generalization about an entire race. Your poor husband - do you treat him with any respect at all? Sure doesn't seem like it.
very well said, specially "And if i wanted to go to the level you went to, I would counter that attack with the simple statistics of crime and uneducated sloths! However, I am not an insecure human, much like you, obviously seem to be. And with that, i will let this rest. " i really hope she reads this and that andy brings it up on watch what happens AND the reunion
I was highly offended by the "canned food" comment. How do you have the audacity to say that viewers misunderstood that statement? I know people of all races who eat canned foods and I know people of all races who eat gourmet foods. You claim to be an educated person, so you should know better than to classify an entire race of people and think it is acceptable. You went on a rant in your first episode about being a lady, but your statements in this latest episode are the farthest thing from ladylike. At least some of the more "dramatic" housewives are honest and genuine.
So white people, in your opinion, still can't parent their children and only eat canned foods? That is your honest opinion???????
Couldn't have said it better. Phaedra ain't phooling anybody. I guess I'd better go eat my can of beans now.
You call this an apology? Typical lawyer rhetoric! You owe your in-laws and your husband an apology. You basically announced on national television your white mother-in-law did not know how to raise a child and you will not tolerate your husband's white perspective on raising the child he wanted! You are really missing a sensitivity chip! If Kim had made any comments like all Phaedra's eats is fried chicken and watermelon you would have called the NAACP, Jesse Jackson and Reverend Al Sharpton up in a heartbeat and have your driver take you straight to her door and read her the riot act! Now that would create some dialogue wouldn't it. We would all grow from that now! I believe that it is comments like yours coming from a black woman growing up in the south that makes race relations take about 3 steps back!
Seriously, your comments really do come across as ignorant. Your comments about white households are uncalled for, closed-minded, and prejudiced. You say that your husband is biracial and was raised by a white woman. How would it make you feel if someone said your husband had to be raised by a white woman because his black father didn't stay around because black men don't take responsibility? That is NOT my view but it is just as ignorant as how you come across and hopefully you'll realize your comments are just as bad. Also, you claim that your husband was in jail for a white collar crime and it's not as bad as if he had murdered someone. You do realize that Bernie Madoff is a white collar criminal as well, right?
The “white woman” to whom you refer above and during Monday’s evening program is your husband’s mother. As such, she is the grandmother of your child and provided that she raised your husband with love and care (i.e., with “canned meat”) she deserves your respect.
Ms. Parks, based upon your original comments and follow-up clarification, both unfounded and tasteless, you are no lady.
"While I do regret any discomfort or offense that my comments may have caused, I believe it is important that we use opportunities like this to create forums for dialogue and growth, not for personal attacks."
Then why did you feel it necessary to personally attack the white race by saying that whites do not know how to parent and are not used to the finer things in life?
Your apology is lame and really makes no sense. You still haven't explained why you said the nasty derogatory things you said.
How about you actually "clarify" your statements instead of trying to act like it's the audiences fault for being offended. Regurgitating tired catch-phrases such as using this as a " forum for dialog and growth" do not give you a free pass to make generalizations such as the ones you did. Drop the cliches', they don't make you sound any less ignorant. You said what you said... own it.
I absolutely agree 100 percent with your post! Well put, because I heard those offensive comments loud and clear as well. Phaedra, you seem incredibly stuck on yourself, get your nose out of the air and see what is reality. By the way, I am Caucasian and I enjoy "fine dining" the same as anyone else. I did not grow up eating out of a can, I had a wonderful mother who made home cooked meals from scratch and was a spectacular cook. Because of her, I know how to cook myself, and it is not out of a can!
Exactly. Miss Pheadra and others like her are well aware they are immune to the social consquences of their actions because they are black. I call this an opportunitist at best.
I'm African American and found your comments to be offensive and over-simplistic. You come off as being nouveau riche and condescending. IF you marry someone you should put their needs before your own. If he wants simple food, why wouldn't you cook what he likes? When a girl with some mac n cheese and meatloaf comes by, your duck liver isn't going to look tempting!!
I'm white, I got beat until my backside went numb and then some. So, I'd like some credit for what I endured! LOL. And, I'm not an old biddy either, I grew up in the late 80s/early 90s and my mom didn't believe in time outs. She also didn't allow any backtalk, lip, sass, etc.
You are right on that one! Phaedra's husband should get an apology, as well as the respect he deserves. Maybe you should try really listening to what your husband has to say instead of just your "my way or the highway attitude." Seems to me the way people discipline their kids, or eat is more a matter of economics and education than a matter of what race they are. I guess really if all stereotypes were true, then it seems you would be eatin some collared greens with pigsfeet and some fried chicken and sweet potatoe pie then miss southern belle??
I am from the south and I was spanked when growing up as were my children. I didn't "beat the hell out of them" but they were spanked. As far as the can goods go and being white, honey, I ate very well and most of my food was home grown and made from scratch. I think you really need to appologize to your husband and his family. You looked like a real idiot on TV last night. I have a new housewife that just hit the bottom of my list of likes.
I find it interesting that your entire blog last week was statistics of black vs. white population in jail. Re-read your blog and then tell me how black people got it right when it comes to dicipline. Last week I was put off by your blog, this week I was downright angry by your comments. Your judgemental and ignorant. Since you first appeared on the show you had nothing but judgemental negative things to say. About NeNe whom you apparently barely know, and now white people who you clearly know nothing about. Take responsibility for yourself, give a real apology, and get your head out of narrowminded ass. After three years of this show not once has a racial comment been made to offend so many viewers. I would not be pleased at all to be casted with you, and therefore associated with you if I were the the other women on the show.
I don't think that you "clarified" anything. I don't think there was anything to misunderstand in what you said. You said it, own and take responsibility for actions. Not only did you make the comments once, but you kept repeating it. The only reason that you are choosing to take down your previous blog and "clarify" anything is in direct response to the negative feedback on here. You were wrong and that's all there is to it. I absolutely agree that if Kim had been talking about a black man and how he had been raised in his "black household" Jessie Jackson would be holding a press conference and yelling about how we all have to boycott Bravo. C'mon. I'm so tired of you guys getting on here and blaming "editing" or the viewers "misunderstanding" things. We are not idiots. We all watched the show and watched how you stick your foot in your mouth. You can't edit in something that was not said. As for your "language of love" since when does that involve receiving gifts? And then, telling your HUSBAND to speak to your staff to find out what you would like! I really hope that your character will start to change as the show progresses because you ARE coming off as a stuck up, materialistic idiot who thinks she is above everyone. Your husband deserves much better than that, you need to stop treating him as though he is your lap dog.
I'm still confused by your comments about food and white people. You didn't clarify anything. Clarifying means explaining, in case you don't understand that word...I only say that because it appears you have some sort of cognitive issues.
Phaedra, no one is perfect. Thanks for the clarification. I guarantee you 90% of the people who pretend to be outraged are looking for a reason to out you. It's really not that serious. I promise you that the majority of the people attacking you, are not standing up to Fox News and other sources that promote division. The comments were inappropriate. But, your are not the first. No one on this site is perfect. And so what. Offended?? Most of the people responding need to be offended with other major issues that affect real life. Thanks for the clarification.
Just apologize and own up! You poor attempt at a response is pathetic! If it were turned around and Kim made those comments you would be screaming the racist card. I know this won't be posted but I would love to see a "I made a mistake" posting instead of a poorly worded "I was mis-understood"
I agree that she should not be so obsessed with the "finer" things in life! I love a fine meal but when I am at home nothing compares to a nice homemade chicken pot pie! And to state that the entire white race is simple foods is just silly. She made herself sound uneducated, uncooth, and racist. If that is not the case (and I hope it is not) then she should choose her words more carefully.
**I really hope you take a look at my comment** If you were sensitive to other races (particularly Caucasians) you would have never made the remark you made. It was a major generalization and ignorant. You sounded like an uneducated country black chick instead of an intelligent, black female attorney. I was appalled and being a Black American female myself I will admit you embarrassed yourself. You don't know everything and you need to stop thinking that you do. Also in some ways you talk negatively about your husband and his background and that is not a good look at all. How about trying to look at his diverse background in a more positive way?
I agree we should be able to adress issues of race openly and honestly without fear of being labeled racist. that's an exellent point. But I respectfully suggest that if you wish not to be labeled and misunderstood for you race related comments you refrain from making stereotypical generalizations about people based on race. I think that may actually be a definition of racism. As a white woman I was definitely hurt by your comments about feeding our children canned food etc. That was very ignorant sounding on your part. Also as a white woman I think that had I gone on national television and made a similiar comment suggesting that most African American families live on fried chicken or watermelon or something (which I would never say and don't feel to be true at all I'm ONLY using this as an example of an ignorant sterotype) I would have gotten in a LOT more trouble than your'e in right now. You may want to adjust the setting on your mouth filter.
I don't think she clarified anything or cleared anything up with that watered down generalized comment, but to each his own.