Phaedra Parks

Phaedra talks relationships and explains her love language.

on Oct 15, 2010

The focal point of this week's episode is friendship, parenting, and marriage. Each of these relationships involve merging two wholly different entities into a one unified bond. They require work, tolerance, commitment, and compromise. Just as Rome wasn't built in a day, neither are great relationships. 

In this episode, Kim and Kandi are working together as friends. Kandi's love for Kim gives her the strength and support she needs to realize her dream of becoming a great performer. As parents, NeNe and Sheree use their personal wisdom to guide their children. Sheree's motherly love and advice to her daughter gives her daughter the courage she needs to begin her voyage as an adult. Apollo and I are working on our marriage and discussing our views on parenting styles.

Relationships work best when both parties have realistic expectations and goals. But, since none of us are realistic all the time, I guess that's why marriage counselors and divorce attorneys have steady business. In our counseling session, we discussed our own personal assessment results based on Gary Chapman's bestseller "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate." Quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch are the five love languages detailed in the book. Like many women, my love language is gifts. I love giving them as much as I enjoy receiving them. My husband's love language is quality time which usually involves Sunday football. While everyone expresses their love based on what they need and require, if you thought learning Latin was hard, try the language of love. 

I never thought I would have to learn how to be in a loving relationship, I'm sure no one does, but anything worth having is worth working and fighting for. We are all unique individuals who by the nature of our age, race, religion, and experiences view things totally different even though we are looking at the same thing. Hence, the love speedway is full of bumps, curves, and hills. Relationships are a work in progress that require constant attention and care. While no union is perfect, just like no person is perfect, most deserve a chance. I am definitely giving my marriage a chance, because who knew learning could be so much fun!