Phaedra Parks

Phaedra thinks women need to be proud of their accomplishments.

on Oct 25, 20100

 

The underlying theme of tonight's episode is getting and having exactly what you want. Although each of us want vastly different things, we all share the common desire of wanting to improve ourselves and to be better women. Sheree wants a new relationship, while NeNe wants to change her physical appearance. Kandi wants a great album and to be paid for her work. Kim wants to be a successful artist. While I want a lot of things, tonight's focus is on my desire to have an extraordinary baby shower as well as a husband who doesn't have children so that we can experience parenthood together for the first time.  

In order for us to achieve our desires, we must first know exactly what it is we want. Secondly, we must be able to afford our desires or be willing to work for them. However, no matter which road we travel to reach our final destination, we should never be apologetic for wanting the best for ourselves. Historically, there was a time when women had limited choices, but thanks to women like Susan B. Anthony, Billy Jean King, Eleanor Roosevelt, Oprah Winfrey, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Harriet Tubman, Evita Peron, and Michelle Obama, we can have whatever we like! These women all dared to be different and challenged societal norms. They were trailblazers who weren't afraid of controversy; they had a vision and realized their work would open doors for others to follow behind them. 

Despite the critical nature of the show, we must ask: Why do we criticize each other when we all want the same thing -- to be better? Is it wrong to value yourself or enhance your worth, whether it be through plastic surgery, education, or hard work? I hope not. Because if you don't value yourself and believe in your ability, who will? If you work hard you should be proud of your accomplishments. 

I will never be ashamed of my tenacity and commitment to education, because I realize people fought and died so that I would have the opportunity to go to high school, attend college, and graduate from law school. My journey wasn't easy, but I had a vision and was willing to work hard for it. Unfortunately, as this episode shows, when women speak of their accomplishments they are viewed as arrogant or "their own cheerleader." Interestingly enough, I was a cheerleader in high school (a spunky spitfire, if I may say so myself), so it was comical to hear that statement. Indeed we should all be our own biggest cheerleaders. Ironically, when men speak of their accomplishments they are characterized as being confident. Why are standards different for women? I went to school for 20 years and maintained a job throughout my undergraduate and law school matriculation. No one gave me any handouts, extra help, or preferential treatment. Hence, I will never be ashamed of my degrees -- I earned them. Slogans like, "Mission accomplished," "dreams realized," "Girl power and sisterhood," will never be truthful as long as we continue to be catty and critical of each other. 

 

283 comments
114
114

Why the put downs. As you wasted that energy to demean one, that same energy could have been used to lift one up. Could it be that Phraedra stated that she wanted to be creative with her baby shower of HER choice, not yours. Those items above were again, HER CHOICES. You cannot recreate people, but you can recreate YOURSELF, stop discussions with such negativity. Thank you.

114
114

In regards to pregnancy, when asking one when they are due, accept whatever response given. It's just practicing self-respect. . . treating others as you would want to be treated. Remember, it their BUSINESS, NOT OURS. Respecting others is not difficult. Try it!

Dlady
Dlady

I know why they cast, cause she getto. I mean the crap that comes out of her mouth OMG. Makes me believe she grew in Al with no running water or toilets and had to walk 10 miles to go shopping. Seriously an educated person does not act that. If Phaedra knew that she had some skeletons reguarding her baby, SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ON THE SHOW. I get a good laugh anyway.

Missy1
Missy1

Phaedra, love you girl!!!! KEEP DOING YOU!!!!! WATCH THE BITCHES especially Kandie who acts like your best friend!!! Kandi loves mess!

Mz. Me
Mz. Me

To have all those accomplishments is one thing but to look down at everyone else is not cool seriously you act like a person who ain't use to having things.

Veeee
Veeee

Great blog Phaedra! I really enjoyed reading this! And the majority of the comments here are just what you stated: catty and critical. Enough with the negativity already!!

the queen
the queen

that is Phaedra's business. She has to live swith that. She is a married woman now.

seschris
seschris

Phaedra, Phaedra, Phaedra…while I applaud your tenacity and commitment to education because I have those same qualities myself; along with the accompanying degrees that I earned as well; I cringe every time I hear you use your accomplishments to demean the other women. Women who are truly confident such as myself; don’t need to insult others who are less accomplished to soothe our own egos. You need to check that, your embarrassing yourself and showing your insecurities especially about your choice of husband. Your behavior is very tacky and only provides comic relief for everyone watching. Professional women of class don’t behave the way that you do. Your comments make you appear cold, catty, phony, jealous and just plain messy. When you are doing it right you don’t have to be your own cheerleader! And what true woman of God brags and struts like you do? Where were you when mom and dad were studying and teaching the word?

seschris
seschris

Phaedra, Phaedra, Phaedra…while I applaud your tenacity and commitment to education because I have those same qualities myself; along with the accompanying degrees that I earned as well; I cringe every time I hear you use your accomplishments to demean the other women. Women who are truly confident such as myself; don’t need to insult others who are less accomplished to soothe our own egos. You need to check that, your embarrassing yourself and showing your insecurities especially about your choice of husband. Your behavior is very tacky and only provides comic relief for everyone watching. Professional women of class don’t behave the way that you do. Your comments make you appear cold, catty, phony, jealous and just plain messy. When you are doing it right you don’t have to be your own cheerleader! And what true woman of God brags and struts like you do? Where were you when mom and dad were studying and teaching the word? I pray for your child's sake that we are not seeing the REAL Phaedra!

Viewer1024
Viewer1024

Thank you educating that ignorant thang about OUR FIRST LADY!

sc101
sc101

What are you TALKING about? "it's not bragging if it's true?" That doesn't even make a word of sense. Go look up that word in the dictionary.

To Tupelohoney
To Tupelohoney

Yes, Phaedra has a lot of comments. Yes, most of them are blasting her for her racial slurs, ignorance, classism, rudeness, unladylike behavior, talking down about her man, arrogant, bragging, un-"Southern Belle" type behavior, her isolating down talk of, well...EVERYONE, over the-over the top behavior, selfishness (going on and on is becoming tedious)...I am sorry but the phrase, " if they aren't talking about you, you aren't relevant." is usually used by people who are trying to find the light in negative backlashes due to poor behavior. I would rather have my name never uttered than be spoken of like these posts speak of Phaedra...ANYDAY!!!

Honestly, Shorebette
Honestly, Shorebette

After watching all of the scenes with Phaedra, I have a very hard time believing that she will ever be as excited about her sons first steps as she will be about a new pair of $2500 shoes. There is this myth out there that once a woman becomes a mother, all else fades away. If this were true, there would be very little need for our foster care system. It would only be there to help babies who have lost their mommies to death, etc. There would not be as much of a need for nannies for children of mothers who do not work. From the way Phaedra speaks of her child (being her husbands idea, not having teeth if he so much as looks at her wrong, being seen and not heard & the newest, delivering prematurely inspire of the health risks for her baby just because she's uncomfortable) he sounds more like an accessory than a new little human being. I would love to be optimistic right along side you, but, having worked with abused and neglected children ages birth to 6...I'm not so sure that I can be.

myinfo
myinfo

This is my first post to anyone’s blog. I really don’t know if you planned to come off as a fool on the show but you are coming off as a clown. Maybe the show is only showing the worst of you, but you are really coming off as someone with no class vs. someone with class.

1. I can’t watch you eat. Learn to eat more lady like. 2. Your shinny lip gloss has to go, it is out of date. 3. You don’t know your due date? What is up with that? 4. The baby shower was a joke. I still can’t get over the flowers in your hair. That episode was too funny. 5. Your husband seems very nice and actually appears to be a better person than you. 6. You refer to yourself as beautiful and classy, well you are neither. 7. The comments from the other housewives regarding your shower were too funny. 8. Thanks for the laughs 9. Your comments about White people were just plain stupid and untrue.

GaStateKid!
GaStateKid!

Exactly! You have to excuse the ignorance of many of these privileged white viewers who fail to realize that blacks historically come from a disadvantaged disposition caused by their ancestry(although I'm not placing blame anyone). However, I will defend the honor of our FIRST BLACK FIRST LADY OF THE UNITED STATES. What white society fails to realize is that us blacks come from an inherent bad disposition in this country that prides itself on being "land of the free" but is directly contradicted if you're a minority, esp. if you're from the brown or black decent. Thus, any minority who has the tenacity and courage to fight every stigma and propaganda placed on their race ARE trailblazers! I don't like commenting on blogs so I'll go ahead and get my other comment out the way that I saw earlier about blacks being the minority, but making up a majority of our prison system. 1.Blacks serve 40% longer prison terms than that of our white counterparts. 2. Drug related offenses: there is only a 1 in 70 chance that white offenders will have their case sent to federal or adult court, only a 1 in 9 chance when it comes to African American males. 3. As I stated earlier, now to reiterate, historically blacks come from a MUCH MORE disadvantaged disposition than that of the HISTORICALLY PRIVILEGED white society(By fault of their ancestors). 4. According to Goode(a very well respected and renowned sociologist), Society and police, see many blacks as bad, yet see whites as "middled class and alliances to them."

viewer112
viewer112

By the nature of your blog it appears you are preparing to go on the offense. I guess you don't want to be held accountable for all the catty and ignorant things you've said. However, you are a catty and jealous woman. If you were secure, you wouldn' t have to put down your castmates.

Stomping on every other woman in the room doesn't make you look good, it makes you look jealous, which you are. Cynthia was nothing but nice to you, giving you the benefit of the doubt and all you did was insult her and her boyfriend/fiance. She's gorgeous and you're not. When you said models don't have to be gorgeous just tall and skinny you were showing your envy.

Also, we all know you were knocked up, hence the marriage. That baby shower was the tackiest thing I've ever seen in my life. Waltzing with ballerinas? Because you like the arts? Have you lost your mind? You're just showing where you came from and it was pathetic. People always think they can trick other people into believing they are from money...it never works, all it does is show your inadequacies. That would be taste and culture. You may have money now but you still don't have class. You have made that perfectly clear. OMG, soooo funny. We were screaming watching that ridiculous mess of a shower. Also, please stop with the horses. We know you never rode, EVER...puleeez.

The last thing I want to address is the racist comment you made about white people. Being an attorney, I know you knew exactly what you were saying and what you were trying to do. This makes it even more of an insult and shows your intentions. Very despicable.

Bren
Bren

Yes she is an accomplished woman she just need's to tone it down a bit!!

Bren
Bren

Well said hopefully she reads this and takes your advise.. That I got I got has to stop it makes her such an ugly person. We get it your a Lawyer your not the first Lawyer and won't be the last, some one please put a button on her mouth!

As if your sh*t don't stink!!
As if your sh*t don't stink!!

Phaedra, I do not agree with you at all!

I am a well-paid professional and so is my husband. We both attended great schools in the south and I am the only person in my African-American family to go to college let alone get an MBA.

Yet while I am very proud of my accomplishments, so is my family. Why? Because I remained grounded and cheered them on in their career choices, whether it was getting a job as a barber or a customer service rep., I've always "cheered for them" as they have for me. I've never sat around saying "I got, I got, I got" because one thing my grandma always said "when you have it, its gonna show so you don't have to go around telling people about what you got!"

Stop being so judgmental and become a genuinely nice person and then you won't have to be your "biggest cheerleader", others will proudly cheer you on.

Bravo - Here's an idea for a show. Let's see some "Working Wives" show. You can come to my city first - Charleston, SC.

elgenia
elgenia

Keep doing you, Phaedra, shake them haters off! We love you in Kansas City! You ain't no pushover!

ladydiinpa
ladydiinpa

Ms.P,,,do your thing,,I luv your character,,,I read your interview with Jawn Murray even tho I am little mad at him for comments he made a few weeks ago about black women.. but anyway....as you said we can't base knowing you from 15mins a week for a few weeks. Love that you are a lawyer, your hair and clothes are always fly,,,more wig/weave wearers need to take note how you do yours, you have nice hair of your own... do your thing...luv ya..you make me laugh, but i have mad repect for you..cuz you are well educated ,,,classy woman...

Laureen Green
Laureen Green

Mrs. P. I have no idea why Bravo has cast you in this role. If they think it is to boost ratings, they are so wrong. Everything about you does not fit on the show. They were better off with Deshaun Snow and she was boring as all get up. Ne Ne is going to eat you up. I feel sorry for you. You are lacking something in your life. You should seek a therapist. If your parents are men and women of god, lord have mercy! You must have missed a lot of church. You are quite ignorant. God don't like ugly and ain't too fund of pretty.

Brookel
Brookel

Pheadra, as a born and raises native Atlantian, I was throughly appalled by your several comments about the differences between black and white families. Your comments prove to be narrowminded for such a "highly educated" women.

CJ's mommy
CJ's mommy

THANKS camille 46. . . . . .I would like to know how someone who was raised in a black house knows what being raised in a white house is like. . . Maybe you should rethink what you say and how you say it. . . last time I checked the word mouth doesn't have an f in it. . . .

ColetteC
ColetteC

Thank you so MUCH!!! You took the words right out of my mouth. Phaedra, please grow up!

sunnyvalequeen
sunnyvalequeen

OMG!phaedra...I love you but girl seriously stop bragging.There are alot of educated women in the world besides u!Also another word of advice...be good to apollo.You need to start cherishing him and not what he can give you.U better start appreciating him or some women will snatch his fine ass up...

Mary B.
Mary B.

Phaedra, You put your foot in your mouth every single episode. If you really have class, education and relationship with God you should know that you can be entertaining on the show without acting so ugly. Stop criticizing others, being judgmental and acting like you are superior to others people would like you a lot more. You have a wonderful man don't run him off with your bad domineering attitude. Do you think Michelle treats Barak like that or embarrasses him acting ghetto the way you do? Also fire your Stylist and Make-up artist you need to catch up with the other girls in that department. It's not too late to salvage your character so stop asap.

NumberOneView
NumberOneView

I agree! Did you see the counselors she is talking with? They all but attacked her husband because he does not see the need to consult her assistant or others about his wife's like and dislikes. This woman is not worth the money! I believe he can do a lot better.

The God she is serving appears to be herself!!

King Ken
King Ken

LOVE Phaedra! This should be ringing true in EVERYONE's ears, no matter what walk of life you come from. Speaking of yourself should not always come off as arrogance, especially when you've accomplished a lot and are proud of those accomplishments. Phaedra has quickly become one of my favorite housewives on the show. I think the cast this season overall is GREAT... it would be better it Lisa was the 7th housewife though BUT I know she's moved outside of Atlanta and that won't be possible.

Anyway, speak your mind Phaedra! You have my full support!

Brooklyn Chocolate Star
Brooklyn Chocolate Star

As I read your comment I was truly touched by your educational achievements for yourself. I too have achieved educational accomplishments. I do agree that we all should be extremely proud of ourselves knowing the road to success can be long and very trying. As I look back on my life it wasn't easy, I was first person in my family to complete and receive an undergraduate degree and now working on going to grad school. I believe there is a thin line when it comes to bragging and being proud unfortunately for me you came across as bragging. I didn't agree with the comment in the limo ride about needing/wanting a "clean man". What does that mean!!!! I was so shocked to hear those words! If that wasn't enough then to add more insult and say "you needed a man without any children". I mean really this day and age it's almost impossible to find a man without children and is it NOT more important to know that the man is providing for all his children vs the number of children he has!! My prayer is that you were able to see the show and really understand how foolish you made yourself look and then apologize.

Ms. Faye
Ms. Faye

I don't think we all hate Phaedra. She is an asset to the show as she is truly a career woman. We would just like her to be real, but maybe this is real for her. I have never really heard of an African American "southern belle" or ever heard one calling herself one. I find Phaedra entertaining. The shower was way over the top, the way she talks about Apollo and his eating habits is so demeaning, but funny because I've never heard of anyone saying such ridiculous things. I hope she does read some of the blogs as they may give her insight as to how people see her.

sunshine state
sunshine state

@eastcoastgirl10 Im from the south and Im tired of hearing the southern belle thing too.

sunshine state
sunshine state

Camille46 you said a mouth full. I dont have to comment. You read my thoughts. Thanks

Lynn02
Lynn02

Applause!Applause!Applause! @Camille46 I couldn't have said it better if I tried. I believe wholeheartedly that your accomplishments truly speak for themselves, you don't need to carry them on a banner in your own little parade. We are all trying to be better than we were before, but it should never be done at the expense of looking down on anybody. I've learned that if you have to continuously speak (brag) about your accomplishments......something's wrong.

tsheree
tsheree

praise God,, I hope she read this because in a day when our young are searching for TRUE role models its sad to see our sisters act this way, lets hope its just the way she is acting on television

T. Monique
T. Monique

Umm..whatever Phaedra, what was that? You skirted around the real issues that were so obvious to a lot of the viewers, but I guess that is what lawyers do, talk your way out of a hot mess, haha. You are so surface it is not even funny, maybe its being on TV, maybe its just you, however, good for you for being able to acheive your heart's desires and make them happen. But remember this, cherish the things you have, and dont forget what is truly important, money can't buy everything. You can be a shining example to a lot of young and older folks out there, keep it real....PS, thanks for the ballerinas, that was comedy gold!

hwatcher
hwatcher

How refreshing to see someone recognize that all that superficial haughtiness can be the downfall to someone who had worked so hard to accomplish their dreams and goals. I am from the south and an old saying that helped me to stay grounded was; "Fly too high and you may land in a big cow pile", so aptly stated to us by our dear grandmother as we were all leaving the nest and finding our way in the big wide world, full of dreams and betterment of those before us. Some were to be accountants, designers, doctors, lawyers and yes, even indian chiefs (homemakers, contractors, blue collar workers and the like). We "made it", bigger homes, fancier furnishings, luxery cars, designer clothes, financial stability...but most of all, we never forgot where we came from and instead of having a superiority complex, we stayed true to what we were raised with...good old fashion manners, respect, humility for others and paying it forward. A true southerner knows never "get above their raisins'. Phaedrae is NOT a "southern belle", she is an accomplished young lady pretending to be something she is not and insulting everyone above, beneath or on the same level as herself. Shameful. What is so interesting and worth expounding on, is how many of her peers she has insulted with them stepping up and calling her out. Now, that is some "real southern class" and a reflection on how they were raised.

mygatita
mygatita

/agree

Being an Argentine and knowing the huge smokescreen the Peronist regime hid behind to pursue their borderline fascist policies, I was quite offended to see Evita included on there as a role-model for women. At least Cleopatra used her woman skills to protect her country. Evita is nothing more than a common prostitute.

Perhaps Phaedra's admiracion stems from equitable means in securing her juris doctorate, b/c God knows, I have no clue how she obtained her credentials.

ViewerLV
ViewerLV

Where was Apollo? I didn't see him in the baby shower. Was he there?

kperk
kperk

Only people who have stuggled to accomplished their educational goals can relate to your comments or bragging (so they say). It's hard work and once you get it, you've earned every hour of your bragging time. I like you on the show. I have been a fan since day one. Khandi, You, Kim, Sheree, Cynthia, and NeNe are the order of my likes. NeNe was humble in season 1, then all of sudden she turns into this nasty person. She talks about you a lot because you and Khandi doesn't entertain that foolishness. What is she mad because you are from Athens too? She's not the only person that can be from Athens. Apolla seems like a cool man, very laid back. So what if he has done some time in jail. He paid his debt to society and trying to learn from his mistakes. This can be a cruel world at times. I understood your baby shower. Although it was different, but this is your first child. Everybody goes all out for their first born. Its all about excitement.