Cast Blog: #RHOA

Happy One-Year Anniversary!

Cynthia Bailey recounts her eventful one-year anniversary party.

Yes, Peter and I have been married for over a year now. I know most couples don't usually celebrate one year of marriage with a black tie party, but under the circumstances I thought it was a very sweet gesture on Peter's part. This past year has been filled with our share of ups and downs, and I really thought it would  be nice to celebrate our one year anniversary with friends and family. Um, well you can't blame us for trying. In life, some things don't always work out the way you plan them.

The party was wonderful, and everyone seemed to have a good time. Except Sheree of course. For some reason no matter what we do, Sheree never has a good time at our events. I'm not really sure why she even bothers to come. Oh, maybe since she had already decided that she was going to have a horrible time, it would at least be a great opportunity to bring Lawrence to confront Marlo about the whole F-word issue. From the look on her face, she clearly enjoyed every single minute of it. I guess it wasn't a waste of her gas after all. What kind of person comes to a party just to be negative about everything? I would rather she stayed  home, than show up late and be mean. The invite was a courtesy -- her presence was not mandatory.  Peter looked especially handsome, and with the exception of the loud whistle to get everyone's attention for the toast, he did an excellent job. All the men looked very nice in their suits, and the ladies were stunning. Kandi looked "smoking hot" in her little disco number, Marlo gave us "princess," and of course NeNe walked into the room and owned it in her long, flowing maxi style print dress. Despite the fact that Sheree was bored after five seconds of being at the party, and could not believe there was no one to open the door for her because she was late, I thought she looked nice. My mom looked 20 years younger in her long ponytail, my BFF Kithe was dashing, and Mal was simply a "show stopper." Literally. The food was delicious, and the Ciroc flowed all night. Thank you, Peter, for all your efforts. I know that you wanted to make this a night to remember, and it certainly was!

I love Mal. She is my sister which makes her family by birth. Peter is my husband which makes him family by marriage. Family is family, and I love them both very much. However, family relationships have to have boundaries. Peter has to respect my family and my family has to respect Peter. And our marriage! That's how it usually works. I respect my sister's marriage, and I do not involve myself in the inner workings of her relationship. We are both grown women, and are responsible for own lives and the choices that we make. My sister and I are close, but we don't agree on everything. We didn't when we were younger, and we don't now that we are grown. As Mal's sister, my role is to be there when she needs me & mind my business when she doesn't. I expect the same. We will always be sisters, and will always have each other's backs. It was not exactly a shocker that Kim did not attend the party. She is an associate, not a friend. The invite was a courtesy, same as the baby shower invite. I often get invited to outings amongst the girls that I choose to attend out of respect, not desire. In hindsight, Kim's absence was actually a small blessing. I'm sure nothing would have been good enough for her, and she would have brought her own bottle of wine. Again! Bottom line is, Kim wasn't really trying to be friends with me before the whole "African baby" comment, so I really didn't expect things to be any different after we came back. My comment was my opinion for the hundredth time, not a fact. I don't know her well enough to say what she would do and wouldn't do. But have no problem giving my opinion. Maybe one day we will sit down as grown women, and put all nonsense behind us.  As for the "one year marriage" comment, my family has earned  the right to voice their opinion in regards to my life because we are family. Agree or disagree, at the end of the day, they have my back. A bit overprotective? Yes, but at least its coming from a pure place. Kim on the other hand couldn't care less, so her little two cents is not as welcomed. Again, we are not friends, and owe each other nothing. Anyway, it's a free world, and everyone is entitled to their opinion. With every opinion, comes a response. Why is it that people feel they can say hurtful things about a person, and then almost bust a blood vessel when that person responds to the foolishness? As always, I wish Kim's marriage a thousand years of happiness! All marriages, even the "perfect" ones actually require work. I'm am just amazed that some of the marriages that looked so "perfect" on the outside have sadly ended in divorce. Hopefully for both of us, love will conquer all!

I love Peter, and if I didn't want to be with him, I would not have married him. I don't need to defend my marriage to anyone, and don't expect anyone to defend theirs to me. I have managed to live a very successful life for the past 45 years, and God willing I will happily live at least 45 more. I married Peter because I always follow my heart. I could have married a million very easily,  but the heart wants what the heart wants. At my age most of my friends are married, and they have all been through ups and downs in their relationship. They all have borrowed money from each other, and it is never a big deal because they are partners. The only difference between them and us is that our marriage is on TV, and theirs is not. Our marriage will always be "a work in progress" because we are both very set in our ways & usually have a different point of view on things. We could choose to only share our lovey-dovey moments, but do not. That's easy, its the real life day-to-day issues that are the hardest to put out there. Just sayin'.The limo ride to the party wasn't really a factor since the limo never actually turned up. However, I willl address it anyway. Peter did not want Mal to ride with us to the party. I agree with Peter on this one. What would be the point? If Peter irritates Mal like she said he does, why would she want to ride the same car with him anyway? Peter set up the limo ride to be this romantic moment that we would share together as husband and wife before the party. Champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries included. Where does Mal fit into the equation? Even if she did get along with Peter, it wouldn't make sense. It wasn't Mal's one year anniversary, it was mine. 

Thank you:

Mark for extending your beautiful home to us. You are a sweetheart!

Ivan for introducing us to Mark, and for being a loving, supportive friend.

Tony Conway for always making our events absolutely wonderful! You are an angel.

Kithe Brewster for flying all the way from Beirut to be by my side. You put the "f" in the word friend. 

NeNe for helping Peter plan the party. You always give us so much positive love and support. You give so much and ask for nothing in return. You are a great friend, and you always show up!

 

Claudia: I Was Sick of the Ladies' Drama

Claudia Jordan explains why she wanted to help mediate.

Bravotv.com: How did you feel about your relationship with Phaedra after the lunch?
Claudia Jordan: I felt that even though she wasn't quite ready to share too much personal information specifically about her break up, she did open up to me and showed some real emotion, and that was a breakthrough in itself. Phaedra always appears to be in control of her emotions, so I was quite surprised when she started to tear up. At that point in the conversation she was talking about failure and recalling an incident where she didn't pass an exam and was doubting herself. I know that wasn't relationship related, but the fact that she was willing and able to open up to a newbie about something that was painful to her -- to me was still progress. I appreciated that conversation, and I think both participants in a deep convo like that can't help but to walk away feeling moved and also just more aware of what may make the other person tick. It was a positive experience.


Bravotv.com: Why did you decide to try and help mediate the ladies' issues?
CJ: Because quite frankly I was sick of it. I think I was in a unique position, because I'm new to the group and any "beef" I've had with the ladies has been surface issues. Nothing earth shattering. I am not as emotionally attached as some of the others. Plus I am in a good place with the majority of the ladies, and I think I'm a pretty fair person, so I think it worked. I do think the silly issues that I have had with a couple of the ladies have mainly come as a result of my prior friendship with Kenya. And that's unfortunate. Especially in this group where former enemies are now close. I figured if some of the others can turn that around, then any problems that stemmed from my affiliation with Kenya should be able to be fixed. The older we get and the more time we spend on this earth, the more people we will have interactions with, and some of them won't be pleasant. To write someone off because they are friends with someone you didn't gel with is just silly. I arrived on the scene knowing the prior issues that Kenya had with a few of the ladies, and I was able to push past that. I even tried to reach out to one at work and at lunch knowing she had a physical altercation with Kenya. And of course I knew about the long standing issue between Kenya and Phaedra, but I think I more than stepped up to the plate and showed how open minded I could be by giving Phaedra the best room as well as meeting with her and having a genuine conversation with no ulterior motive. I was sincere. With that being said, I wouldn't expect anyone to do anything that I wasn't willing to do. So if I can do it -- and be open -- then why can't everyone else? I've seen a few girls apologize repeatedly for things they may or may have not been actually guilty of just for the benefit of the group, while others refuse. I know it's tough to do as long as you still hold a grudge, but what do grudges get us? They get us wrinkles, anxiety, and uncomfortable dinners. And who wants that? Now I am far from perfect, and I clearly still have some work to do my damn self. I know I definitely feel the need to prove my point and to show why I moved the way I moved. And that is something I am trying to work on. But right now I am happy to try to help the others in the group, and if I can assist in the smallest of ways, that's a success and I can walk away feeling good about that. Hey, baby steps are better than no steps at all!


Bravotv.com: Did you feel like the vibe changed for the better after everyone talked through their issues at dinner?
CJ: Ab-so-freaking-lutely! It was smooth sailing after that, and it felt like a great weight was lifted off of our shoulders. After the dinner I even got a visit in my villa from Kandi and Porsha and we sat around and talked. I thought, "Finally! A real moment of coolness!" My thing is this -- when new folks are coming together, there are going to be growing pains. You might do something I do not approve of and vice versa. We might have a big blow up and think that we hate each other for a moment. But more often than not, these are just surface issues. Nothing deep. Plus I think because we have this platform, sometimes folks put ten on twenty and do a little extra than they may do in their normal day to day to have their "moment" and show their ass. So I try to take that into consideration. It's just not normal to argue on this level all the time. But that dinner was a lot of things -- we had shade, frustration, glass breaking, arguments, interruptions, patience, understanding, and finally some hope at the end when Phaedra and Kenya agreed to have a private conversation to see if they could make some progress. I think some things are best to bring up in front of everyone and some conversations work better if it's just between the two ladies involved. I guess the trick here is learning when to do what so that no one's feelings are hurt and no one feels blindsided. Again, none of us are perfect, and there is no handbook to all of this. We are all a work in progress and learning each other as we go. But for now things are feeling pretty good and hopeful! Let's pray that these good vibes continue!

Thanks again to all the wonderful viewers who have been awesome! I was hosting an event in Dallas, Texas this past weekend at a place called Marquee, and the love I got was overwhelming. From the flight attendants, to fellow passengers on the plane, to all the folks that showed up to hang out and meet me. Nothing but wonderful vibes and love from supporters of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I was overwhelmed! I appreciate you all accepting me and taking me in to the family! And I must give a shout out to the fabulous RuPaul and the beautiful Regina King who were both guests this past Sunday on Watch Watch Happens Live and both had such great things to say about me. I truly am humbled and am very flattered!


Please check me out on Twitter and Instagram @claudiajordan and my website www.TheRealClaudiaJordan.com.

Also to our fans in Florida -- I will be hosting an all-white party Friday April 3 in Orlando, Florida at Club EMBER. Flyer below. So put on your best all-white outfit and come join me! 

 

 

Thanks,
Claudia J xoxo

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