No. 3 - No Bones About It
There are many rules in Housewives Land. One of my favorites is the involvement of some sort of psychic/medium at least one time per season. Instead of Kim's grandmotherly Psychic Rose however, this week we were treated to a South African medicine man. Or help artist herbalist. And this guy kind of made Allison DuBois seem completely reasonable.
First of all, what was going on with that jar of "medicine"? Given that you were supposed to put the medicine in your bath water, wash yourself with it, drink it, and spit it out again, it really sounds more like a Petri dish of ancient bacteria. I would not have put my nose anywhere near that stuff, but kudooze to the ladies for being good sports.
The predictions he made with his "bones" were a little bit snoozy, since they were all about whether the ladies would get married again or not. But the best moment by far was when he told Sheree that she was too old to get married again. I guess he was unfamiliar with "Who gonna check me, boo?" but I think Sheree was about one second away from getting up and going off on this guy. Luckily NeNe kind of swooped in and asked to have her fortune told before Sheree could give him a taste of her own medicine.
This trip has certainly been a roller coaster ride of friendship with this group. One minute they're the sisterhood of the traveling pants, the next they're getting so angry at one another that things devolve into making strange faces and noises at one another. There is one thing that always manages to bring these women together however... Sex! Forget music, that's what really makes the people come together.
Even Kandi and Marlo can bond over sex. They were like old friends sharing their favorite positions with one another. And those were some seriously crazy moves! These girls do not mess around in the boudoir. Perhaps if there was a daily, mandatory Kandi Koated Nights session, all fights would be avoided. Well, probably not, but you never know.
I don't know why exactly, but that short segment where NeNe gets scared by the elephant herd on safari was hilarious to me. Mostly because hearing her whisper "Drive away!" fifty times while the rest of the girls try and take photos was amazing. But the moment became pure gold when the scene ended, it shifted to the graphic of all the ladies holding peaches, and we get one final, unexpected "Drive away!" I almost choked on the water I was drinking at the time. So hats off to you, Bravo editors!