Cast Blog: #RHOA

Drive Away!

Episode 14: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor counts down this week's top three moments.

No. 3 - No Bones About It

There are many rules in Housewives Land. One of my favorites is the involvement of some sort of psychic/medium at least one time per season. Instead of Kim's grandmotherly Psychic Rose however, this week we were treated to a South African medicine man. Or help artist herbalist. And this guy kind of made Allison DuBois seem completely reasonable.

First of all, what was going on with that jar of "medicine"? Given that you were supposed to put the medicine in your bath water, wash yourself with it, drink it, and spit it out again, it really sounds more like a Petri dish of ancient bacteria. I would not have put my nose anywhere near that stuff, but kudooze to the ladies for being good sports.

The predictions he made with his "bones" were a little bit snoozy, since they were all about whether the ladies would get married again or not. But the best moment by far was when he told Sheree that she was too old to get married again. I guess he was unfamiliar with "Who gonna check me, boo?" but I think Sheree was about one second away from getting up and going off on this guy. Luckily NeNe kind of swooped in and asked to have her fortune told before Sheree could give him a taste of her own medicine.

No. 2 - Let's Talk About Sex

This trip has certainly been a roller coaster ride of friendship with this group. One minute they're the sisterhood of the traveling pants, the next they're getting so angry at one another that things devolve into making strange faces and noises at one another. There is one thing that always manages to bring these women together however... Sex! Forget music, that's what really makes the people come together.

Even Kandi and Marlo can bond over sex. They were like old friends sharing their favorite positions with one another. And those were some seriously crazy moves! These girls do not mess around in the boudoir. Perhaps if there was a daily, mandatory Kandi Koated Nights session, all fights would be avoided. Well, probably not, but you never know.

No. 1 - Drive Away!

I don't know why exactly, but that short segment where NeNe gets scared by the elephant herd on safari was hilarious to me. Mostly because hearing her whisper "Drive away!" fifty times while the rest of the girls try and take photos was amazing. But the moment became pure gold when the scene ended, it shifted to the graphic of all the ladies holding peaches, and we get one final, unexpected "Drive away!" I almost choked on the water I was drinking at the time. So hats off to you, Bravo editors!

Next week we're back in Atlanta, and NeNe gets some disappointing news about her son.

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Claudia: Porsha's Been Stank All Season

Claudia Jordan fires back at Porsha Williams for coming for her at the reunion.

Bravotv.com: Were you nervous going into your first reunion?
Claudia Jordan: Not at all! I was so looking forward to it. I thought there would be more drama and it would be more difficult for me, but it was a piece of cake. I thought everyone for the most part looked great in their all white outfits, and the set was amazing!

Bravotv.com: Were you surprised Porsha came for you?
CJ: Absolutely not. She's been quite stank all season. The last time I was surprised at her actions was when we met for lunch way back in the very beginning of the season, because up until a week prior, I thought we were cool enough. Not friends, BFFs, or besties, but cordial acquaintances. But when she kept doing little catty things, I saw what it was. Looking back I understand. I was the new girl, and when a new girl comes on the scene, not all the women will embrace new energy and new personalities; some will automatically feel threatened. I for one love meeting new women and making friends. I think there is nothing more powerful than a group of talented, beautiful, and intelligent women. Check out my Instagram and see the crew I roll with on the daily. It's clear that I live by that. I've never been intimidated or jealous of any other women. I embrace my lovely friends, because I respect them and how they handle their business. I love meeting new people and look forward to learning new things from new acquaintances I make. So to be so closed minded about another person right out of the gate and create a "reason" for it after the fact is just dumb. But at this point, dumbness does not shock me nor does ignorance.

I do want to address one of the lies Ms. Williams told about me at the reunion. I never asked around town for the tea. Porsha started making it clear to the world she had an issue with me, even though I had no idea why. I then heard some completely unsolicited gossip from my friends, but I kept it under my hat -- I mean it was juicy, but it was really none of my concern outside of gossip, and I certainly was not seeking it out. And it would have remained there forever had she had not become so nasty to me. At the end of the day, I don't care what and whom that girl allows to enter her bat cave. But just keep it polite and cute towards me. Don't get caught out there loudly running your mouth about me in hallways. Don't be shady at work. Don't make statements to NeNe slandering me and Kenya, talking about our legs being up in the air and criticizing us for not being married, then complain that folks are slandering you. It's quite simple. And if you know in your real life how you get down, it might be in your best interest not to poke fun, egg on, and laugh at another woman being wrongly accused of doing what you do, because you might mess around and taunt someone that will get with you and spill your room-temperature tea. #DropsMic


Bravotv.com: Are you going to continue to pursue stand-up?
CJ: Yes, I am. I actually did a show that Bravo recorded. They showed a brief snippet of it on the reunion, but I really wish they would show it all, because it was funny! I had a great reception from the audience, and a lot of the girls came to my show -- Cynthia, Kenya, Demetria, and my best friend, Auta. Also most of the morning show came and supported me, and they all gave me props! It felt amazing. It was very empowering and exhilarating to be on that stage and see all those people in the audience cracking up and getting my sense of humor. I've already got some calls and requests for bookings just from people hearing that I want do stand up. I will keep you guys posted when I do some more shows!

Please follow me on Instagram and Twitter @ClaudiaJordan for all the updates on my career. I have been getting lots of bookings, hosting concerts for Ginuwine and Tank. Please check my Instagram for upcoming tour dates. Also I have two films coming out this year called The Hills and Love is Not Enough. I am in talks right now for a third movie to start filming in the fall. This past weekend I got the chance to catch up with a dear friend of mine that got me started in radio-Mr Jamie Foxx. His album drops on May 18th and we were there to support him at his album listening party. Just wanted to share some photos from all the fun times I've been having lately! Life is good and I am happy and feeling loved!

xoxo, CJ

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