Cast Blog: #RHOA

No Hate

Kenya on NeNe's "Embarrassing" Behavior

Claudia: "These Double Standards are Killing Me"

Kandi: "I'm Not Two-Faced"

Phaedra: I Appreciated Demetria's Apology

Are Demetria and Phaedra Cool?

NeNe on Her Apology

Cynthia: Claudia Can Read with the Best of Them

Claudia: NeNe's Behavior Needed to Be Checked

Kenya on "The Beasts"

Phaedra: Demetria Took Things Too Personally

GIF Recap: Lessons in Reading

Phaedra's Ignorant Comments

Claudia: I'm Not Surprised by NeNe's Ugly Demeanor

Kenya: NeNe Doesn't Want to Like Me

Cynthia: I'm Moving Forward in Grace and Love

Kandi: "I Wasn't Trying to Set Demetria Up"

Phaedra on Being Recognized by the Bar

NeNe: "I'm Not a Fake Friend"

Demetria Responds to the Rumors

Cynthia: Forgiveness is a Process

Phaedra: My Mother is My Rock

Kenya: "An Acknowledgement is Not an Apology"

Claudia: I Do Not Own a Flip Phone

Cynthia: It Was Awkward Seeing Phaedra Uncomfortable

Demetria: I Have No Beef with Kenya

NeNe Explains the Wig

Phaedra: I Was Hoping Apollo Wouldn't Create a Scene

Kenya's Not Interested in Roger Bobb

Claudia: "I'm the Samantha of the Group"

Kenya: Cynthia Commanded the Runway

Phaedra: You Don't Often Come Across Hair Burglary

Cynthia: "I Pray We Can Make Peace"

Claudia: I Could Relate to Cynthia's Insecurities

Cynthia's "Non-Conversation" with NeNe

NeNe: The Pit Bull Act is Not a Good Look

Kenya: If It Looks Like a Fraud...

Phaedra: "I Moved Past This Years Ago"

Claudia: I Am Not Asking for Sympathy

GIF Recap: Saltines, Anyone?

Kenya: Why Would Apollo Try to Hurt Phaedra?

No Hate

Kandi doesn't think she was playing both sides or being a hater.

OK, I had to go back and fast forward this episode to Kim’s birthday to see where I was allegedly “hating” and “playing both sides” as NeNe says. After re-watching it I have to ask, what the hell were y’all watching where you hear me hating on her or playing both sides?

First off I don’t say anything about either one of them behind their backs that I won’t say to them in person, and I’ve never said anything about either one of them that wasn’t true. You can automatically cut the playing both sides conversation short and kill all the comments about me carrying bones. I did not say anything negative about Cynthia or NeNe. When Kim asked me about the trip I said it was cool and to end any more conversations about the trip I made the joke, “The one thing that I can say to y’all is that she’s rich now.” That was the on-going joke ever since NeNe and Sheree had that argument, so it wasn’t a big deal. I even said something to NeNe about the “I’m rich” comment when I was with her in Miami, so it’s not like I didn’t make a joke of it in front of her.  I’ve never tried to make NeNe feel like I wasn’t cool with the other girls. So clearly she knew that I would continue to hang out with them when I got back. NeNe and I have never been that close. We don’t call each other and have girl talk. Did everyone forget that NeNe and I had a blow up on my first season?  She and I started out on the wrong foot. I almost didn’t want to go to Miami because I knew she and I aren’t that cool. I decided to go, because I needed a getaway and I figured it couldn’t be that bad. How is she playing victim right now?

Let’s address this hating comment. Some people say you are a hater just because they don’t like what you have to say. I always have conversations with my friends about being careful with your money. That is not hating. That is called looking out for people and passing on what I’ve learned. Being in the industry as long as I have has allowed me to see the mistakes of others who have made a lot of money but over extended themselves and not thought about the possibility that they may not continue to make that same money forever. I’ve seen people who were way more successful than me have their houses foreclosed and cars repossessed, because they acted as though the money would never stop. I have had conversations with Kim the same way I talked to NeNe about being more careful with finances.  Kim didn’t think I was hating. She may or may not take my advice, but she didn’t say I was hating on her.

Some people love to have friends who just stroke their egos and encourage them to buy the big houses and the most expensive cars, but when times get hard and you need help, they’re not going to pay for a damn thing. They’ll sit up and enjoy the ride with you, but when the money train stops, they’ll be on to the next. People need to stop using the term hater so loosely. For anyone to suggest I’m hating on NeNe would mean that she had something I could be jealous about or felt the need to hate on. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that NeNe has that I want or can’t buy if I wanted to. I have my own lane and I stay in it. She doesn’t do what I do. What I do for a living is not even in her job description. We are not in competition. There’s no way you can even compare us. I saw a comment where NeNe stated she was the most successful out of all of us. She couldn’t have been referring to me. Please, let’s not make it a pissing contest of who’s more successful, because we definitely don’t want to start listing credits. I don’t even want to do you like that. That would be petty anyway. I love commending other women when they’re making big things happen.  So I’m not sure why she thinks I don’t want to see her doing well. I made comments about financial planning because I want her to continue to do well, even when she’s no longer on this show. As a matter of fact I want all the ladies in our circle to do well and that is the truth!

Much love,
Kandi

P.S. Don’t forget to get your new toys on www.BedroomKandi.com

Claudia: "These Double Standards are Killing Me"

Claudia Jordan shares her thoughts on NeNe Leakes' apology and the double standards within the group.

WHEW! What trip! First of all I'd like to thank Demetria for inviting us all down to Puerto Rico for her do-over. And honey, what a do-over it was! The rooms were cute and cozy, the weather was amazing, and the pina coladas were fantastic! And on top of all that I really got to know Demetria a little more, and I just adore her. And of course like always I had a great time with Kenya and Cynthia. Those two really know how to have fun, and I appreciate their laid back and easy going demeanor. Our time at the pool was fun -- especially watching Kenya attempt to speak both Italian and broken Spanish to our bartender in an attempt to wrangle up some local cuties!

Dinner…well the evening once again started out fun, fun, fun! I was with my girls Demetria, Kenya, and Cynthia, and it was all so effortless and easy breezy! We were making toasts in honor of our gracious host as well as to new friendships. The tone of the evening certainly changed when the rest of the ladies showed up. I don't think I saw any one of them besides Kandi acknowledge Demetria, our host. Girl, I need these folks to take an etiquette class or something around these parts! But I digress. Things got heated between Demetria and Ms. Parks, and it was all downhill from there. I honestly couldn't understand the treatment of Demetria from Phaedra. On a shady scale from 1 to 10, I give it an 8.

As for the little disagreement I was involved in, Iet's just say it was a fight of words with lots of bobbing and weaving that was capped off with a verbal scalping! Lots of low points and crass things said, and plenty of one sided yelling. I am proud to say that I maintained a calm and classy demeanor throughout and let my wit, not my volume, do my work against several malicious false statements made by the mother hen.

Kandi's party was fun as always and it was nice to see all the ladies get along and have fun -- something I think usually is missing when certain people are in the mix. But I will say on that night it was great hanging with all the ladies. I had a great time and was surprised at who excelled and who struggled with the Pass the Potato/dildo game!

The bus ride to Demetria's performance was interesting. First we got the news that one of the women in our group would be stepping in and taking over for Sherri Shephard in the Broadway play Cinderella! That was great news, because I heard that Sherri did her thing, so although those are some big shoes to fill, even getting a chance at that role is huge, and I acknowledge that. Kudos!!!

I guess I should address the argument with Linnethia (Is that how you spell it? One day I will get it right!). I think I showed maturity when I congratulated her on her newest gig, but I felt I'd take that time to also make the point that she is not the only one working. Often times that is her narrative: "I'm the only one that will be left standing. I'm the Queen! I'm the only original! I'm rich! They are not on my level!" I mean it's exhausting to constantly hear these things, but even more laughable that it's being said to a group of women -- the majority of this group has been working on their own long before the phenomenon of reality television. I know I'm dating myself, but I've been a member of the Screen Actors Guild since 1994. I just don't think people that are used to working feel the need to constantly tell everyone that they work. We're all adult women, aren't we supposed to be working? When one behaves like this, it makes it difficult to "give props," yet Cynthia and I both did regardless of the shade.

Some may think I'm a pit bull or that I was wrong for not accepting NeNe's weak apology. Well I don't know how these ladies do it, but where I'm from apologies for bad actions usually come with an explanation so there is an understanding as to why it happened in the first place. That was my entire point for pressing NeNe. I wanted to know why that was the go-to thing to attack me with -- my integrity as a woman. I've experienced lots of things in my life, I know a thing or two about sexual abuse, so for me to be called a "whore" and have someone talking about my private parts is for sure a trigger. I don't want to get into all the ugly details, but let's just say my life was affected by that word, and it is something that cuts me deep. It seems that has followed me throughout my life. Maybe because I am considered somewhat attractive, the go-to insults are "whore, ho, bitch, and slut." I remember not being able to have sex for years after what happened to me, and men getting frustrated with me and again using that word to hurt me when that was the furthest thing from the truth. I wish people would be careful with the words they chose to use, because you never know someone's back story. So I was demanding NeNe tell me why she was calling me a whore, and she refused to answer that question, so that was why it was so difficult for me to accept a simple, "Well, I'm sorry!"

Now is there a time or occasion when the use of that word is warranted? Absolutely! That should be reserved for women who exchange sexual favors for money or gifts, not because you are losing an argument. When you make these gross declarations on a huge platform, you give the green light for others to follow. I have had hundreds of people repeat this to me since NeNe screamed it at me, and it's not right. And I find it ironic that since then a very false list has been circulating the internet of all these alleged lovers that I'm being linked to, several of which are married to women I am cool with. The timing could not be any more convenient for some. This list is mostly false, not 100% but mostly! Once again, we must be careful with how we characterize one another, ladies. I know that I do not speak on something unless I am damn near 99% certain of it and pretty much know. I encourage others to follow suit.

As for the other lady I fussed with, well, it may have seemed unwarranted and I am sorry about that. I just wanted to make a point that the double standards in this group are crazy! I just don't how for some women it's, "Close your legs to married men," and then to others it's, "Do you girl, get your coins!" It gives me a headache trying to figure out the rules of engagement in this group! Ugh! Can I get a handbook of the rules? Because these double standards are killing me. I need for things to make sense.

I have to say I loved, loved, loved Demetria's performance! I knew she could sing, but I didn't know she could SANG! It almost brought me to tears seeing a beautiful and kind woman living her dream and doing it so damn well! Despite all the shade and negativity she had to deal with leading up to her show, she handled it like a true professional and pushed all that nonsense to the side and flourished. She for sure is an inspiration. Sometimes when I'm down I tend to curl up and hide, but to see Demetria fly high after all the nonsense was inspirational! I will continue to support this woman, and last I heard she was climbing up the iTunes charts and was at number 4! Take that, naysayers!

OK this was my most personal blog so far, and just a taste of things to come. I will continue to try to be an open book so you all can really get to know me. And in the process I hope some who share some of my struggles can feel better about their own and take comfort in knowing that you do not have to feel like you are alone and that you are damaged goods. There is life after tragedy and there are rainbows after the rain. Trust me, I know! I appreciate the love and support from those that have found something in me to relate to. I read all the comments and messages, and I just want to say the love has been overwhelming. Seriously guys and gals! Words cannot express how wonderful you guys have made me feel since joining the show. I love you all! XOXO

 
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