Cast Blog: #RHOA

The 'Stay Prayed Up' Controversy

Claudia: Kordell was Barely Flirting

Kenya on NeNe's "Embarrassing" Behavior

Claudia: "These Double Standards are Killing Me"

Kandi: "I'm Not Two-Faced"

Phaedra: I Appreciated Demetria's Apology

Are Demetria and Phaedra Cool?

NeNe on Her Apology

Cynthia: Claudia Can Read with the Best of Them

Claudia: NeNe's Behavior Needed to Be Checked

Kenya on "The Beasts"

Phaedra: Demetria Took Things Too Personally

GIF Recap: Lessons in Reading

Phaedra's Ignorant Comments

Claudia: I'm Not Surprised by NeNe's Ugly Demeanor

Kenya: NeNe Doesn't Want to Like Me

Cynthia: I'm Moving Forward in Grace and Love

Kandi: "I Wasn't Trying to Set Demetria Up"

Phaedra on Being Recognized by the Bar

NeNe: "I'm Not a Fake Friend"

Demetria Responds to the Rumors

Cynthia: Forgiveness is a Process

Phaedra: My Mother is My Rock

Kenya: "An Acknowledgement is Not an Apology"

Claudia: I Do Not Own a Flip Phone

Cynthia: It Was Awkward Seeing Phaedra Uncomfortable

Demetria: I Have No Beef with Kenya

NeNe Explains the Wig

Phaedra: I Was Hoping Apollo Wouldn't Create a Scene

Kenya's Not Interested in Roger Bobb

Claudia: "I'm the Samantha of the Group"

Kenya: Cynthia Commanded the Runway

Phaedra: You Don't Often Come Across Hair Burglary

Cynthia: "I Pray We Can Make Peace"

Claudia: I Could Relate to Cynthia's Insecurities

Cynthia's "Non-Conversation" with NeNe

NeNe: The Pit Bull Act is Not a Good Look

Kenya: If It Looks Like a Fraud...

Phaedra: "I Moved Past This Years Ago"

Claudia: I Am Not Asking for Sympathy

GIF Recap: Saltines, Anyone?

The 'Stay Prayed Up' Controversy

Kandi was surprised by some of the negative feedback she's gotten about her gospel song.

Hello everybody! This week’s episode was the cause of much controversy and debate for me. It all circled around the decision to do my gospel song Stay Prayed Up. I knew when I decided to do it that a lot of people would be shocked, since I often talk about sex, have an adult toy line (Bedroom Kandi), and host a sex and relationships internet show (Kandi Koated Nights). I knew that some people would give me the side eye, but I didn’t know that it would be to this extreme. When the episode prior to this one aired, which first showed me mentioning that I wanted to do a gospel song, I got so many angry tweets. Can you believe a woman actually tweeted me and said, “Bitch you can’t praise my God”? I was like wow… People always said that the worst things to debate or bring up are politics and religion. Well whoever made that statement knew exactly what they were talking about!



Thank God I don’t let things get to me. I’m a very open and honest person. I say what I want to say when I want to say it. If I feel like doing something, I do it. I felt that I wanted to do this song, so I did, and I’m glad I did. This song is my testimony. I’ve been through things in my life that would break some people down, but I push through it and I try not to wallow in my sorrows, because I have a daughter and I never want her to see me brake down. I pray every day. I’m not the poster child of what you might envision as a religious woman, and I know that, but I come from a religious family. You guys got a chance to meet my dad on this episode, Rev. Dr. Titus Burruss Jr. His father and grandfather were Bishops in the Churches of God Holiness. I have always been the rebel grandchild. The rules were sooo strict there. I would go, but I never officially joined. My grandma would always say, “Kandi why won’t you join? You don’t love the Lord.” And I would reply, “I love the Lord, Grandma, but I know I’m not going to follow the rules. So I’m not going to join and stand in front of the church and say that I’ll follow the rules when I know that I’m lying.” Well, clearly I’m still not following the rules, but I still love the Lord.

There are a whole bunch of people just like me that can relate to the words of my song. It’s funny, because when my group Xscape first came out, my Grandma would say, “Don’t you wanna sing for the Lord, baby, instead of those worldly songs?” Well, here I am singing for the Lord, but I guess I’m too “worldly” for some people to accept it.  I love Twitter, but it is an open platform for people to slay you… But lucky for me, I have just as many people or more that show me love. This week I’ve heard the dumb and negative like, “How you gonna sell sex toys and sing gospel. Do you want us to play Stay Prayed Up while we vibrate on your dildo?” My answer to that is NO, DUMMY! I’ve also heard the positive like, “I cried when I heard your song. It’s helping me get through my day right now.” People have been having debates on blogs and on radio stations asking if it is OK for me to have an adult toy line and sing a gospel song. My friend laughed the other day and told me that she’s shocked there’s so much controversy about the song, but it’s good because so many people are talking about God and prayer. I’m so happy that I got a chance to work with Marvin Sapp! His voice is amazing. I loved the fact that he didn’t judge me and told me not to explain myself to people. He helped take the song to the next level. Please get the single and really listen to the words. Here’s the link! I’d love for you to post it on your Facebook or Twitter pages.  https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/stay-prayed-up-single/id603720988

OK, enough about me. I want to congratulate Cynthia for doing such a great job on her first pageant. It was grander to me in person than even watching it on TV. A lot of people wouldn’t have been able to pull that together on their first go at it, and I’m sure it will only get better!

Much love,
Kandi

Check out my sites:

www.BedroomKandi.com
www.TagsAtl.com
www.KandiOnline.com

Claudia: "These Double Standards are Killing Me"

Claudia Jordan shares her thoughts on NeNe Leakes' apology and the double standards within the group.

WHEW! What trip! First of all I'd like to thank Demetria for inviting us all down to Puerto Rico for her do-over. And honey, what a do-over it was! The rooms were cute and cozy, the weather was amazing, and the pina coladas were fantastic! And on top of all that I really got to know Demetria a little more, and I just adore her. And of course like always I had a great time with Kenya and Cynthia. Those two really know how to have fun, and I appreciate their laid back and easy going demeanor. Our time at the pool was fun -- especially watching Kenya attempt to speak both Italian and broken Spanish to our bartender in an attempt to wrangle up some local cuties!

Dinner…well the evening once again started out fun, fun, fun! I was with my girls Demetria, Kenya, and Cynthia, and it was all so effortless and easy breezy! We were making toasts in honor of our gracious host as well as to new friendships. The tone of the evening certainly changed when the rest of the ladies showed up. I don't think I saw any one of them besides Kandi acknowledge Demetria, our host. Girl, I need these folks to take an etiquette class or something around these parts! But I digress. Things got heated between Demetria and Ms. Parks, and it was all downhill from there. I honestly couldn't understand the treatment of Demetria from Phaedra. On a shady scale from 1 to 10, I give it an 8.

As for the little disagreement I was involved in, Iet's just say it was a fight of words with lots of bobbing and weaving that was capped off with a verbal scalping! Lots of low points and crass things said, and plenty of one sided yelling. I am proud to say that I maintained a calm and classy demeanor throughout and let my wit, not my volume, do my work against several malicious false statements made by the mother hen.

Kandi's party was fun as always and it was nice to see all the ladies get along and have fun -- something I think usually is missing when certain people are in the mix. But I will say on that night it was great hanging with all the ladies. I had a great time and was surprised at who excelled and who struggled with the Pass the Potato/dildo game!

The bus ride to Demetria's performance was interesting. First we got the news that one of the women in our group would be stepping in and taking over for Sherri Shephard in the Broadway play Cinderella! That was great news, because I heard that Sherri did her thing, so although those are some big shoes to fill, even getting a chance at that role is huge, and I acknowledge that. Kudos!!!

I guess I should address the argument with Linnethia (Is that how you spell it? One day I will get it right!). I think I showed maturity when I congratulated her on her newest gig, but I felt I'd take that time to also make the point that she is not the only one working. Often times that is her narrative: "I'm the only one that will be left standing. I'm the Queen! I'm the only original! I'm rich! They are not on my level!" I mean it's exhausting to constantly hear these things, but even more laughable that it's being said to a group of women -- the majority of this group has been working on their own long before the phenomenon of reality television. I know I'm dating myself, but I've been a member of the Screen Actors Guild since 1994. I just don't think people that are used to working feel the need to constantly tell everyone that they work. We're all adult women, aren't we supposed to be working? When one behaves like this, it makes it difficult to "give props," yet Cynthia and I both did regardless of the shade.

Some may think I'm a pit bull or that I was wrong for not accepting NeNe's weak apology. Well I don't know how these ladies do it, but where I'm from apologies for bad actions usually come with an explanation so there is an understanding as to why it happened in the first place. That was my entire point for pressing NeNe. I wanted to know why that was the go-to thing to attack me with -- my integrity as a woman. I've experienced lots of things in my life, I know a thing or two about sexual abuse, so for me to be called a "whore" and have someone talking about my private parts is for sure a trigger. I don't want to get into all the ugly details, but let's just say my life was affected by that word, and it is something that cuts me deep. It seems that has followed me throughout my life. Maybe because I am considered somewhat attractive, the go-to insults are "whore, ho, bitch, and slut." I remember not being able to have sex for years after what happened to me, and men getting frustrated with me and again using that word to hurt me when that was the furthest thing from the truth. I wish people would be careful with the words they chose to use, because you never know someone's back story. So I was demanding NeNe tell me why she was calling me a whore, and she refused to answer that question, so that was why it was so difficult for me to accept a simple, "Well, I'm sorry!"

Now is there a time or occasion when the use of that word is warranted? Absolutely! That should be reserved for women who exchange sexual favors for money or gifts, not because you are losing an argument. When you make these gross declarations on a huge platform, you give the green light for others to follow. I have had hundreds of people repeat this to me since NeNe screamed it at me, and it's not right. And I find it ironic that since then a very false list has been circulating the internet of all these alleged lovers that I'm being linked to, several of which are married to women I am cool with. The timing could not be any more convenient for some. This list is mostly false, not 100% but mostly! Once again, we must be careful with how we characterize one another, ladies. I know that I do not speak on something unless I am damn near 99% certain of it and pretty much know. I encourage others to follow suit.

As for the other lady I fussed with, well, it may have seemed unwarranted and I am sorry about that. I just wanted to make a point that the double standards in this group are crazy! I just don't how for some women it's, "Close your legs to married men," and then to others it's, "Do you girl, get your coins!" It gives me a headache trying to figure out the rules of engagement in this group! Ugh! Can I get a handbook of the rules? Because these double standards are killing me. I need for things to make sense.

I have to say I loved, loved, loved Demetria's performance! I knew she could sing, but I didn't know she could SANG! It almost brought me to tears seeing a beautiful and kind woman living her dream and doing it so damn well! Despite all the shade and negativity she had to deal with leading up to her show, she handled it like a true professional and pushed all that nonsense to the side and flourished. She for sure is an inspiration. Sometimes when I'm down I tend to curl up and hide, but to see Demetria fly high after all the nonsense was inspirational! I will continue to support this woman, and last I heard she was climbing up the iTunes charts and was at number 4! Take that, naysayers!

OK this was my most personal blog so far, and just a taste of things to come. I will continue to try to be an open book so you all can really get to know me. And in the process I hope some who share some of my struggles can feel better about their own and take comfort in knowing that you do not have to feel like you are alone and that you are damaged goods. There is life after tragedy and there are rainbows after the rain. Trust me, I know! I appreciate the love and support from those that have found something in me to relate to. I read all the comments and messages, and I just want to say the love has been overwhelming. Seriously guys and gals! Words cannot express how wonderful you guys have made me feel since joining the show. I love you all! XOXO

 
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