Cast Blog: #RHOA

Cynthia's Insecurity

Cynthia on Her Drama-Free Trip

Has Kenya Found Love?

Claudia: Kordell was Barely Flirting

Kenya on NeNe's "Embarrassing" Behavior

Claudia: "These Double Standards are Killing Me"

Kandi: "I'm Not Two-Faced"

Phaedra: I Appreciated Demetria's Apology

Are Demetria and Phaedra Cool?

NeNe on Her Apology

Cynthia: Claudia Can Read with the Best of Them

Claudia: NeNe's Behavior Needed to Be Checked

Kenya on "The Beasts"

Phaedra: Demetria Took Things Too Personally

GIF Recap: Lessons in Reading

Phaedra's Ignorant Comments

Claudia: I'm Not Surprised by NeNe's Ugly Demeanor

Kenya: NeNe Doesn't Want to Like Me

Cynthia: I'm Moving Forward in Grace and Love

Kandi: "I Wasn't Trying to Set Demetria Up"

Phaedra on Being Recognized by the Bar

NeNe: "I'm Not a Fake Friend"

Demetria Responds to the Rumors

Cynthia: Forgiveness is a Process

Phaedra: My Mother is My Rock

Kenya: "An Acknowledgement is Not an Apology"

Claudia: I Do Not Own a Flip Phone

Cynthia: It Was Awkward Seeing Phaedra Uncomfortable

Demetria: I Have No Beef with Kenya

NeNe Explains the Wig

Phaedra: I Was Hoping Apollo Wouldn't Create a Scene

Kenya's Not Interested in Roger Bobb

Claudia: "I'm the Samantha of the Group"

Kenya: Cynthia Commanded the Runway

Phaedra: You Don't Often Come Across Hair Burglary

Cynthia: "I Pray We Can Make Peace"

Claudia: I Could Relate to Cynthia's Insecurities

Cynthia's "Non-Conversation" with NeNe

NeNe: The Pit Bull Act is Not a Good Look

Kenya: If It Looks Like a Fraud...

Phaedra: "I Moved Past This Years Ago"

Cynthia's Insecurity

Kenya was embarrassed for Cynthia during her conversation with NeNe.

Flaws and All

What an amazing time in my life! I’ve moved to Atlanta where my loving family lives and has always been my home away from home. Being from Detroit, Atlanta has always welcomed me, since I filmed my first leading lady role in the movie Trois here. The people of Atlanta have always been so kind to me and have rolled out the red carpet.

My move represents a lot of change in my life. LA has great business opportunities for my film and TV production company and acting career, but it can be a very lonely place. I’ve been a private person for the most part and exposing my life in this way also represents my willingness to move forward with a serious relationship. It is my desire to find someone who loves me for me -- flaws and all.

Enter Aunt Lori.

I have always treasured my relationship with her. She is my "shero." Lori has always been the voice of reason, wisdom, and the epitome of class. Her approval is important to me, so I’ve always sought her advice and counsel. Naturally, she wanted to know why I had been keeping Walter a secret. It was not easy for me because I want to vet the men I date and make sure they are a keeper before I bring them home to meet my family. So far only one man has made it that far.

I loved the scene with Phaedra and Kandi. We had a blast! Phaedra was funny and sweet and Kandi was cool as cucumbers. We laughed about so much that day and it was fun to get to know them a little more. I felt I could be myself around them and they seemed to enjoy me as well.Naturally, when Walter told me he tried to date Kandi it made me a little insecure, because it hadn’t been that long ago AND she turned him down. He knew I had already hung out with Kandi, so I was suspicious as to why he was just telling me. I had also heard of other celebrity women he had asked out too, so I questioned his motives. I really like Kandi and to know he tried to date her didn’t sit well with me. But nonetheless I had to get over it.



THE GIRLS:

I loved seeing NeNe get emotional during the parade. She has come a long way and should be proud knowing that one can turn their life around. Stay focused.
I never noticed how much Kim curses! I felt bad that she had to move so quickly being pregnant. Moving is very stressful, so I felt her pain.

Kandi and Todd are so cute together. They are so in love and it’s obvious Kandi is happy because she can’t stop smiling when they are together.

Phaedra cracks me up because she always calls me Miss America when I was crowned Miss USA. It doesn’t offend me because they are both American Institutions and prestigious titles and the winners are a part of history.

For clarification, here is how Miss USA and Miss America differ:

Miss USA is a beauty pageant owned by Donald Trump and is a part of the umbrella of the Miss Universe Organization (MUO), which includes Miss Teen USA, Miss USA, and Miss Universe. Miss USA is the delegate from the USA to the Miss Universe pageant. Which means, Miss USA can also become Miss Universe. (I was 4th place in Miss Universe the year I competed.)

Miss America is a scholarship and talent pageant and is older. Prior to recent years, it was held in Atlantic City.

There was a lot going on at the Success party. Cynthia seemed very insecure about my conversation I was having with NeNe. I applaud NeNe for being a bigger person and remaining neutral and allowing for us to have a connection. I also felt embarrassed for Cynthia because she came across as territorial and desperate to keep me away from NeNe. But I digress.As far as Cynthia asking me what year I won my title, it seemed pathetic. To add insult to injury she asked if I was “before or after Vanessa Williams.” Firstly, Vanessa Williams is a goddess in my eyes and a living icon. I’m not on her level yet, nor do I pretend to be. However, she is my role model -- kind, generous, smart, and a great person.


Secondly, whether you are Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, live in America or abroad, Vanessa Williams made history as the first Black woman to be crowned Miss America. That was a victory for brown women around the WORLD. Who didn’t cry when she cried? Who didn’t feel their hearts swell up with pride when her name was called? What brown woman didn’t feel validated or vindicated for all the years we had been told we were ugly, lesser than, or inferior to Western beauty? Regardless of how Cynthia may feel about me, it is heartless to try to knock down or diminish an accomplishment such as mine. Vanessa Williams opened the door for me and I graciously walked through it. I hope there are other young women that will walk through the door I opened for them in 1993 (19 years ago). There is a fight bigger than the one Cynthia is now picking with me. Yet, we still need to fight for fair representation.

Cynthia’s question that was meant as a “read” actually manages to put down Vanessa as a lack of recognition, myself, and an accomplishment of a people -- not of a single woman. I also saw Cynthia’s tweets about me being a liar because I explained exactly how I was invited to the casting. I may be a lot of things, but not a liar. Her points are so silly and to buy into any more of Cynthia’s empty rhetoric is simply exhausting. She likes to beat a dead horse. It’s dead, Cynthia. Let it die already.

With all that said. It’s probably best that we focus on empowering and uplifting other women that you and I both agree on. Let’s move on.

Claudia: "These Double Standards are Killing Me"

Claudia Jordan shares her thoughts on NeNe Leakes' apology and the double standards within the group.

WHEW! What trip! First of all I'd like to thank Demetria for inviting us all down to Puerto Rico for her do-over. And honey, what a do-over it was! The rooms were cute and cozy, the weather was amazing, and the pina coladas were fantastic! And on top of all that I really got to know Demetria a little more, and I just adore her. And of course like always I had a great time with Kenya and Cynthia. Those two really know how to have fun, and I appreciate their laid back and easy going demeanor. Our time at the pool was fun -- especially watching Kenya attempt to speak both Italian and broken Spanish to our bartender in an attempt to wrangle up some local cuties!

Dinner…well the evening once again started out fun, fun, fun! I was with my girls Demetria, Kenya, and Cynthia, and it was all so effortless and easy breezy! We were making toasts in honor of our gracious host as well as to new friendships. The tone of the evening certainly changed when the rest of the ladies showed up. I don't think I saw any one of them besides Kandi acknowledge Demetria, our host. Girl, I need these folks to take an etiquette class or something around these parts! But I digress. Things got heated between Demetria and Ms. Parks, and it was all downhill from there. I honestly couldn't understand the treatment of Demetria from Phaedra. On a shady scale from 1 to 10, I give it an 8.

As for the little disagreement I was involved in, Iet's just say it was a fight of words with lots of bobbing and weaving that was capped off with a verbal scalping! Lots of low points and crass things said, and plenty of one sided yelling. I am proud to say that I maintained a calm and classy demeanor throughout and let my wit, not my volume, do my work against several malicious false statements made by the mother hen.

Kandi's party was fun as always and it was nice to see all the ladies get along and have fun -- something I think usually is missing when certain people are in the mix. But I will say on that night it was great hanging with all the ladies. I had a great time and was surprised at who excelled and who struggled with the Pass the Potato/dildo game!

The bus ride to Demetria's performance was interesting. First we got the news that one of the women in our group would be stepping in and taking over for Sherri Shephard in the Broadway play Cinderella! That was great news, because I heard that Sherri did her thing, so although those are some big shoes to fill, even getting a chance at that role is huge, and I acknowledge that. Kudos!!!

I guess I should address the argument with Linnethia (Is that how you spell it? One day I will get it right!). I think I showed maturity when I congratulated her on her newest gig, but I felt I'd take that time to also make the point that she is not the only one working. Often times that is her narrative: "I'm the only one that will be left standing. I'm the Queen! I'm the only original! I'm rich! They are not on my level!" I mean it's exhausting to constantly hear these things, but even more laughable that it's being said to a group of women -- the majority of this group has been working on their own long before the phenomenon of reality television. I know I'm dating myself, but I've been a member of the Screen Actors Guild since 1994. I just don't think people that are used to working feel the need to constantly tell everyone that they work. We're all adult women, aren't we supposed to be working? When one behaves like this, it makes it difficult to "give props," yet Cynthia and I both did regardless of the shade.

Some may think I'm a pit bull or that I was wrong for not accepting NeNe's weak apology. Well I don't know how these ladies do it, but where I'm from apologies for bad actions usually come with an explanation so there is an understanding as to why it happened in the first place. That was my entire point for pressing NeNe. I wanted to know why that was the go-to thing to attack me with -- my integrity as a woman. I've experienced lots of things in my life, I know a thing or two about sexual abuse, so for me to be called a "whore" and have someone talking about my private parts is for sure a trigger. I don't want to get into all the ugly details, but let's just say my life was affected by that word, and it is something that cuts me deep. It seems that has followed me throughout my life. Maybe because I am considered somewhat attractive, the go-to insults are "whore, ho, bitch, and slut." I remember not being able to have sex for years after what happened to me, and men getting frustrated with me and again using that word to hurt me when that was the furthest thing from the truth. I wish people would be careful with the words they chose to use, because you never know someone's back story. So I was demanding NeNe tell me why she was calling me a whore, and she refused to answer that question, so that was why it was so difficult for me to accept a simple, "Well, I'm sorry!"

Now is there a time or occasion when the use of that word is warranted? Absolutely! That should be reserved for women who exchange sexual favors for money or gifts, not because you are losing an argument. When you make these gross declarations on a huge platform, you give the green light for others to follow. I have had hundreds of people repeat this to me since NeNe screamed it at me, and it's not right. And I find it ironic that since then a very false list has been circulating the internet of all these alleged lovers that I'm being linked to, several of which are married to women I am cool with. The timing could not be any more convenient for some. This list is mostly false, not 100% but mostly! Once again, we must be careful with how we characterize one another, ladies. I know that I do not speak on something unless I am damn near 99% certain of it and pretty much know. I encourage others to follow suit.

As for the other lady I fussed with, well, it may have seemed unwarranted and I am sorry about that. I just wanted to make a point that the double standards in this group are crazy! I just don't how for some women it's, "Close your legs to married men," and then to others it's, "Do you girl, get your coins!" It gives me a headache trying to figure out the rules of engagement in this group! Ugh! Can I get a handbook of the rules? Because these double standards are killing me. I need for things to make sense.

I have to say I loved, loved, loved Demetria's performance! I knew she could sing, but I didn't know she could SANG! It almost brought me to tears seeing a beautiful and kind woman living her dream and doing it so damn well! Despite all the shade and negativity she had to deal with leading up to her show, she handled it like a true professional and pushed all that nonsense to the side and flourished. She for sure is an inspiration. Sometimes when I'm down I tend to curl up and hide, but to see Demetria fly high after all the nonsense was inspirational! I will continue to support this woman, and last I heard she was climbing up the iTunes charts and was at number 4! Take that, naysayers!

OK this was my most personal blog so far, and just a taste of things to come. I will continue to try to be an open book so you all can really get to know me. And in the process I hope some who share some of my struggles can feel better about their own and take comfort in knowing that you do not have to feel like you are alone and that you are damaged goods. There is life after tragedy and there are rainbows after the rain. Trust me, I know! I appreciate the love and support from those that have found something in me to relate to. I read all the comments and messages, and I just want to say the love has been overwhelming. Seriously guys and gals! Words cannot express how wonderful you guys have made me feel since joining the show. I love you all! XOXO

 
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