So Long, Kim Zolciak - Ep 5
Bravotv.com's Associate Editor dons his black mourning wig to write this recap.
Whoa. Just whoa. Never did I think I'd see the day when Kim Zolciak left RHOA. It seems like only yesterday she was spinning around in that pink prairie dress recording Tardy for the Party. Ah, memories. Before I get too misty, let's look back at the best moments from this week's episode.
No. 3 - 365 265 Days a Year
NeNe really did sum Porsha's 265 days a year moment up best: "That is funny." Or perhaps even better with "Where the hell that bitch live at?"
But perhaps there's a reason Porsha said 265. Maybe she was trying to keep the ladies' volunteer time at a reasonable level -- not every day the ENTIRE year, but most of the year. Or maybe Housewives just have a hibernation period. (Have I stumbled upon what happens when they're not filming a new season?)
What's the best way to apologize to someone when you realize you may have said something insensitive? Let's break it down:
Step 1: Don you finest fascinator. Go for somber colors (i.e. a nice black and white combo).
Step 2: Have an enormous "I'm sorry" flower arrangement sent to the location of your next meeting with the wronged person. Go with a pure white bouquet, which really emphasizes forgiveness.
Step 3: Apologize.
And voila! Issue solved. Never underestimate the persuasiveness of a big flower arrangement and a tiny hat.
No. 1 - Wig Out
Well did anyone see that coming? It was like watching the argument that broke the Housewife's back, and it all seemed to happen in slow motion. History was made here, people! You witnessed the last argument Kim will ever have with NeNe, after five seasons on watching these two go from being friends to bitter rivals and back again. I had kind of hoped in the end they would go back to being friends. Alas!
I can only hope that Kim passes the wig torch to one of the other ladies. And that there's some new Housewives tunes on the horizon. Until next week I'll be wearing a black mourning wig.