Cast Blog: #RHOA

Cynthia: I Didn't Know Mal Pushed Kandi

Cynthia on Her Drama-Free Trip

Has Kenya Found Love?

Claudia: Kordell was Barely Flirting

Kenya on NeNe's "Embarrassing" Behavior

Claudia: "These Double Standards are Killing Me"

Kandi: "I'm Not Two-Faced"

Phaedra: I Appreciated Demetria's Apology

Are Demetria and Phaedra Cool?

NeNe on Her Apology

Cynthia: Claudia Can Read with the Best of Them

Claudia: NeNe's Behavior Needed to Be Checked

Kenya on "The Beasts"

Phaedra: Demetria Took Things Too Personally

GIF Recap: Lessons in Reading

Phaedra's Ignorant Comments

Claudia: I'm Not Surprised by NeNe's Ugly Demeanor

Kenya: NeNe Doesn't Want to Like Me

Cynthia: I'm Moving Forward in Grace and Love

Kandi: "I Wasn't Trying to Set Demetria Up"

Phaedra on Being Recognized by the Bar

NeNe: "I'm Not a Fake Friend"

Demetria Responds to the Rumors

Cynthia: Forgiveness is a Process

Phaedra: My Mother is My Rock

Kenya: "An Acknowledgement is Not an Apology"

Claudia: I Do Not Own a Flip Phone

Cynthia: It Was Awkward Seeing Phaedra Uncomfortable

Demetria: I Have No Beef with Kenya

NeNe Explains the Wig

Phaedra: I Was Hoping Apollo Wouldn't Create a Scene

Kenya's Not Interested in Roger Bobb

Claudia: "I'm the Samantha of the Group"

Kenya: Cynthia Commanded the Runway

Phaedra: You Don't Often Come Across Hair Burglary

Cynthia: "I Pray We Can Make Peace"

Claudia: I Could Relate to Cynthia's Insecurities

Cynthia's "Non-Conversation" with NeNe

NeNe: The Pit Bull Act is Not a Good Look

Kenya: If It Looks Like a Fraud...

Phaedra: "I Moved Past This Years Ago"

Cynthia: I Didn't Know Mal Pushed Kandi

Cynthia shares her side of the Pillow Talk drama.

Hello everyone! Welcome back to another drama filled episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. It's been a couple of episodes since I blogged, so let’s rewind back quickly to the unfortunate fight a couple of weeks ago.

I don't throw the word hate around much, but I have to say that I truly hate seeing people physically fight each other. It actually makes me sick to my stomach. There is nothing wrong with having a difference of opinion, or throwing a little shade every now and then. However, I do have a problem watching people beat up each other. I don't care what the reason is, or who started what. It doesn't matter. Physical violence should never be the answer. At the end of the day everyone is grown and is responsible for their own actions. How we choose to handle situations as people is always a personal choice. It's not about making excuses or pointing fingers. I have apologized publicly for myself, my husband, and for everyone that was there. I know that in my heart everyone involved looks back on that night with embarrassment and regret.

Let's move on! I admit that it was a little "messy boots" for me to tell the ladies about my conversation with Natalie about the whole Todd opportunist thing. In Natalie's defense, I don't remember if she ever said the word opportunist, but I felt like it was implied. She actually had a lot of very nice things to say about Todd as well, but I guess the negative will always outweigh the positive. It's actually kind of funny, because this whole conversation started off pretty harmless. Everything that was said happened so long ago!

Although I was surprised and thought it was interesting that Natalie knew Todd, the tea that was poured was basically old and stale. I envisioned Kandi handling this bit of news exactly the way that she handled it at the winery. She was not bothered, laughed it off, and pretty much owned her fabulousness with a "girl, bye" attitude at the end of the day. High fives were slapped and that was that. Or so I thought. I really thought we had moved on, so I was a kind of surprised when Kandi brought it back up at Pillow Talk.

That was when I decided to try to talk to Kandi to make sure that she had the whole story. The good and the bad. Big mistake! As you could see, that didn't go too well. In hindsight, I guess I was too much in her personal space. It didn't feel like it to me at the time, but looking back at it all, I guess I was. We both talk with our hands, and I didn't realize at the time that I was using mine any more than she was using hers. I also did not feel that when Peter walked up and asked what was going on that he was necessarily aggressive. I do know that anytime a man is addressing a woman (and it’s not all fun and giggles), it never really looks right. Last but not least, I definitely didn't know until I saw it on tape that Mal pushed Kandi. I actually didn't believe it until I saw the tape, because I just don't remember it happening. I thought Mal was trying to keep Peter and Todd from getting into it by pushing them apart. Mal did tell me that in that moment Todd pushed her, and she instinctually pushed him back. Then all hell broke loose from there. Remember, Mal is my sister first and foremost. She is just as protective of me as the other ladies’ families are protective of them. Just like the other incident, it all happened so quickly it was hard to know who pushed whom and when or why. We may never know exactly how it all started, I am just glad that it is over.

 

Kandi apologized to the group at the spa for her behavior, and I apologized to her for getting in her personal space and for Mal pushing her. With these ladies it's always a matter of time before you bump heads with someone. So I guess it was me and Kandi's turn. It kind of sucks, because Kandi and I have always been cool with each other and have never really had an issue. Just like she said that she likes me, I also like her. So that said, I apologize and accept full responsibility for any part of wrong doing that I contributed to on that night. I apologize on behalf of Peter and my sister as well. I hope that Kandi and I are big enough women to eventually move past this foolishness. I guess you will have to keep watching to find out. Oh yes, when Kandi says that I wouldn't bust a grape, she was 100% correct. I do not and will not ever physically fight another woman.

Thank you all for your continued love and support! I appreciate all of you. More drama is on the way! Make sure you tune in every Sunday night at 8/7c. Only on Bravo!

 



Love you guys!
Cynthia Bailey

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
-John Wooden

 

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Claudia: "These Double Standards are Killing Me"

Claudia Jordan shares her thoughts on NeNe Leakes' apology and the double standards within the group.

WHEW! What trip! First of all I'd like to thank Demetria for inviting us all down to Puerto Rico for her do-over. And honey, what a do-over it was! The rooms were cute and cozy, the weather was amazing, and the pina coladas were fantastic! And on top of all that I really got to know Demetria a little more, and I just adore her. And of course like always I had a great time with Kenya and Cynthia. Those two really know how to have fun, and I appreciate their laid back and easy going demeanor. Our time at the pool was fun -- especially watching Kenya attempt to speak both Italian and broken Spanish to our bartender in an attempt to wrangle up some local cuties!

Dinner…well the evening once again started out fun, fun, fun! I was with my girls Demetria, Kenya, and Cynthia, and it was all so effortless and easy breezy! We were making toasts in honor of our gracious host as well as to new friendships. The tone of the evening certainly changed when the rest of the ladies showed up. I don't think I saw any one of them besides Kandi acknowledge Demetria, our host. Girl, I need these folks to take an etiquette class or something around these parts! But I digress. Things got heated between Demetria and Ms. Parks, and it was all downhill from there. I honestly couldn't understand the treatment of Demetria from Phaedra. On a shady scale from 1 to 10, I give it an 8.

As for the little disagreement I was involved in, Iet's just say it was a fight of words with lots of bobbing and weaving that was capped off with a verbal scalping! Lots of low points and crass things said, and plenty of one sided yelling. I am proud to say that I maintained a calm and classy demeanor throughout and let my wit, not my volume, do my work against several malicious false statements made by the mother hen.

Kandi's party was fun as always and it was nice to see all the ladies get along and have fun -- something I think usually is missing when certain people are in the mix. But I will say on that night it was great hanging with all the ladies. I had a great time and was surprised at who excelled and who struggled with the Pass the Potato/dildo game!

The bus ride to Demetria's performance was interesting. First we got the news that one of the women in our group would be stepping in and taking over for Sherri Shephard in the Broadway play Cinderella! That was great news, because I heard that Sherri did her thing, so although those are some big shoes to fill, even getting a chance at that role is huge, and I acknowledge that. Kudos!!!

I guess I should address the argument with Linnethia (Is that how you spell it? One day I will get it right!). I think I showed maturity when I congratulated her on her newest gig, but I felt I'd take that time to also make the point that she is not the only one working. Often times that is her narrative: "I'm the only one that will be left standing. I'm the Queen! I'm the only original! I'm rich! They are not on my level!" I mean it's exhausting to constantly hear these things, but even more laughable that it's being said to a group of women -- the majority of this group has been working on their own long before the phenomenon of reality television. I know I'm dating myself, but I've been a member of the Screen Actors Guild since 1994. I just don't think people that are used to working feel the need to constantly tell everyone that they work. We're all adult women, aren't we supposed to be working? When one behaves like this, it makes it difficult to "give props," yet Cynthia and I both did regardless of the shade.

Some may think I'm a pit bull or that I was wrong for not accepting NeNe's weak apology. Well I don't know how these ladies do it, but where I'm from apologies for bad actions usually come with an explanation so there is an understanding as to why it happened in the first place. That was my entire point for pressing NeNe. I wanted to know why that was the go-to thing to attack me with -- my integrity as a woman. I've experienced lots of things in my life, I know a thing or two about sexual abuse, so for me to be called a "whore" and have someone talking about my private parts is for sure a trigger. I don't want to get into all the ugly details, but let's just say my life was affected by that word, and it is something that cuts me deep. It seems that has followed me throughout my life. Maybe because I am considered somewhat attractive, the go-to insults are "whore, ho, bitch, and slut." I remember not being able to have sex for years after what happened to me, and men getting frustrated with me and again using that word to hurt me when that was the furthest thing from the truth. I wish people would be careful with the words they chose to use, because you never know someone's back story. So I was demanding NeNe tell me why she was calling me a whore, and she refused to answer that question, so that was why it was so difficult for me to accept a simple, "Well, I'm sorry!"

Now is there a time or occasion when the use of that word is warranted? Absolutely! That should be reserved for women who exchange sexual favors for money or gifts, not because you are losing an argument. When you make these gross declarations on a huge platform, you give the green light for others to follow. I have had hundreds of people repeat this to me since NeNe screamed it at me, and it's not right. And I find it ironic that since then a very false list has been circulating the internet of all these alleged lovers that I'm being linked to, several of which are married to women I am cool with. The timing could not be any more convenient for some. This list is mostly false, not 100% but mostly! Once again, we must be careful with how we characterize one another, ladies. I know that I do not speak on something unless I am damn near 99% certain of it and pretty much know. I encourage others to follow suit.

As for the other lady I fussed with, well, it may have seemed unwarranted and I am sorry about that. I just wanted to make a point that the double standards in this group are crazy! I just don't how for some women it's, "Close your legs to married men," and then to others it's, "Do you girl, get your coins!" It gives me a headache trying to figure out the rules of engagement in this group! Ugh! Can I get a handbook of the rules? Because these double standards are killing me. I need for things to make sense.

I have to say I loved, loved, loved Demetria's performance! I knew she could sing, but I didn't know she could SANG! It almost brought me to tears seeing a beautiful and kind woman living her dream and doing it so damn well! Despite all the shade and negativity she had to deal with leading up to her show, she handled it like a true professional and pushed all that nonsense to the side and flourished. She for sure is an inspiration. Sometimes when I'm down I tend to curl up and hide, but to see Demetria fly high after all the nonsense was inspirational! I will continue to support this woman, and last I heard she was climbing up the iTunes charts and was at number 4! Take that, naysayers!

OK this was my most personal blog so far, and just a taste of things to come. I will continue to try to be an open book so you all can really get to know me. And in the process I hope some who share some of my struggles can feel better about their own and take comfort in knowing that you do not have to feel like you are alone and that you are damaged goods. There is life after tragedy and there are rainbows after the rain. Trust me, I know! I appreciate the love and support from those that have found something in me to relate to. I read all the comments and messages, and I just want to say the love has been overwhelming. Seriously guys and gals! Words cannot express how wonderful you guys have made me feel since joining the show. I love you all! XOXO

 
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