Cast Blog: #RHOA

Kandi: "I am in a Much Better Place!"

Kandi dishes on her relationship with Momma Joyce, the musical, and what's going on in her life now.

Hey everyone! I haven't blogged in sooo long and I'm sorry. This season was extremely hard for me. I was having so much personal drama that sometimes I was just feeling overwhelmed, and I didn't feel like talking about anything having to do with the show. My mom and I were going through a lot during taping, but when every episode aired, it felt like we went through it all over again. There were times where we weren't speaking, and I was just stressed out about it. Between the drama with my mom and Carmon or my mom and Todd, things were just in a constant turmoil.

Whatever I'm dealing with personally I always use it creatively. That is how I express myself. That is how I deal and keep myself from going crazy. The musical obviously was inspired by what I was and am still dealing with to a certain extent with my mom. Some of the things that she has said I used for inspiration for the story and songs. For example whenever she brings back a rumor or something she has heard about Todd, she always says, "People in the streets say...". I'm always like, who are these "people in the streets?!" Well, I wrote a song called "People in the Streets" for the mom character to sing.

Another example is my mom has accused Carmon and Todd of hooking up behind my back, so the mom in the musical does a similar thing to my character in the musical. Another example is my mom constantly talks about Todd not being a "provider," so of course the mom does the same thing in the play. My mom always says, "I love you more than I love myself" whenever she talks about why she's acting the way she acts, so I wrote a song called "A Mother's Love" where the mom sings: "I love you more than I love myself. That's what a mother's love is." I can give you lots of examples of how my mother was my muse for this project. The only difference was I added a happy ending to the story where the mom and the boyfriend made peace at the end. Which makes me think about the conversation between my mom and Todd on the last episode when he told her that one day he hopes that she will love him too. Watching that made me teary eyed... I want so badly for that to happen. Hopefully in time it will. In real life, not just in the musical...

I am in a much better place! I'm sure you heard that last week Todd and I got married! You will get a chance to see the craziness I had to go through to make that happen later on Bravo so I won't go into all of that, but things are better, just not where I want them to be between Todd and my mom. Keep us in your prayers!Let me touch on the subject of Porsha and why I wanted to work with her before I end this. I've gotten a million tweets about it. First let me say I love to root for the underdog. Porsha has gone through a lot in the past year. I knew that she wanted to sing and act, so I wanted to give her the opportunity to show her talent. In my mind I felt like the musical would be something great for her to put her energy into and it would help her not to focus so much on the stress of her divorce. I've heard her sing, and I felt like I could write something that would complement her voice. I hadn't seen her act, but she told me she could, and she did a pretty good job in her audition.

Don Juan was totally against Porsha, but I hired her anyway. For a second I felt like I may have made a mistake. The first issue was how much back and forth there was about the contract. I did learn from my last experience with Kim, so I wanted to make sure all of the terms were detailed on paper. The problem was that her attorney was asking for things that I felt only someone with a longer resume as an actress/singer could request. Porsha is just starting to build her resume and I wasn't going to give her what I would give Eddie Levert or Shirley Murdock. It never became an argument between us, because when we talked she explained her attorney was just doing his job trying to get the best for his client, which is what he is supposed to do. So although it took longer than I would have liked, we worked everything out. The second issue was scheduling. Time is money, and this time it was my money on the line... We had a tight budget. I spent hundreds of thousands to put this whole project together. Everything that we could tighten the budget on, we did. One of those things was rehearsal time. We only had a few weeks to learn script, songs, choreography, staging, etc. But Porsha came back with a list of a lot of dates she had to miss. That's when I really started to panic and we hired an understudy for her. It wasn't personal. It wasn't that I didn't believe in her, it's just that I wasn't sure with those limited amount of rehearsals that she would pull off everything I needed her to learn. After we had our talk she totally stepped things up, and I am so proud of how she performed! She's a great comedic actress! At the end of the day Porsha and I are still cool, thank the Lord! We were able to do business and still continue to be friends.

If you would like to get a copy of the DVD to see how it all came together go to KandiOnline.com and order. You can also get the soundtrack of "A Mothers Love" on iTunes. It has the 19 songs that I wrote and they are performed by the whole cast! I am so proud of this musical. It means a lot to me, obviously because of what it's about, but for me it represents so much more. It shows what Todd and I can do as a team. We put that musical together from beginning to end in three months. I mean writing script, writing all the songs, building sets, casting, hiring the crew, rehearsals, etc. Every time I mentioned what we were doing to people who act in or produce plays professionally, they would say that is unheard of, but TODD AND I DID IT! I feel kind of like the lyrics to that Ne-Yo song when he says, "I'm good all by myself, but I'm a force when we're together." I've always been confident in myself, but with my HUSBAND (I like saying that) by my side, I feel like I can do anything! Now if I can just get Momma Joyce on the same page, I'll really be good! LOL!

Please check out my sites KandiOnline.com, BedroomKandi.com, and TagsAtl.com. And please get the soundtrack and DVD of "A Mother's Love"! Thank you!!!

Much Love,
Kandi

Claudia: I Was Sick of the Ladies' Drama

Claudia Jordan explains why she wanted to help mediate.

Bravotv.com: How did you feel about your relationship with Phaedra after the lunch?
Claudia Jordan: I felt that even though she wasn't quite ready to share too much personal information specifically about her break up, she did open up to me and showed some real emotion, and that was a breakthrough in itself. Phaedra always appears to be in control of her emotions, so I was quite surprised when she started to tear up. At that point in the conversation she was talking about failure and recalling an incident where she didn't pass an exam and was doubting herself. I know that wasn't relationship related, but the fact that she was willing and able to open up to a newbie about something that was painful to her -- to me was still progress. I appreciated that conversation, and I think both participants in a deep convo like that can't help but to walk away feeling moved and also just more aware of what may make the other person tick. It was a positive experience.


Bravotv.com: Why did you decide to try and help mediate the ladies' issues?
CJ: Because quite frankly I was sick of it. I think I was in a unique position, because I'm new to the group and any "beef" I've had with the ladies has been surface issues. Nothing earth shattering. I am not as emotionally attached as some of the others. Plus I am in a good place with the majority of the ladies, and I think I'm a pretty fair person, so I think it worked. I do think the silly issues that I have had with a couple of the ladies have mainly come as a result of my prior friendship with Kenya. And that's unfortunate. Especially in this group where former enemies are now close. I figured if some of the others can turn that around, then any problems that stemmed from my affiliation with Kenya should be able to be fixed. The older we get and the more time we spend on this earth, the more people we will have interactions with, and some of them won't be pleasant. To write someone off because they are friends with someone you didn't gel with is just silly. I arrived on the scene knowing the prior issues that Kenya had with a few of the ladies, and I was able to push past that. I even tried to reach out to one at work and at lunch knowing she had a physical altercation with Kenya. And of course I knew about the long standing issue between Kenya and Phaedra, but I think I more than stepped up to the plate and showed how open minded I could be by giving Phaedra the best room as well as meeting with her and having a genuine conversation with no ulterior motive. I was sincere. With that being said, I wouldn't expect anyone to do anything that I wasn't willing to do. So if I can do it -- and be open -- then why can't everyone else? I've seen a few girls apologize repeatedly for things they may or may have not been actually guilty of just for the benefit of the group, while others refuse. I know it's tough to do as long as you still hold a grudge, but what do grudges get us? They get us wrinkles, anxiety, and uncomfortable dinners. And who wants that? Now I am far from perfect, and I clearly still have some work to do my damn self. I know I definitely feel the need to prove my point and to show why I moved the way I moved. And that is something I am trying to work on. But right now I am happy to try to help the others in the group, and if I can assist in the smallest of ways, that's a success and I can walk away feeling good about that. Hey, baby steps are better than no steps at all!


Bravotv.com: Did you feel like the vibe changed for the better after everyone talked through their issues at dinner?
CJ: Ab-so-freaking-lutely! It was smooth sailing after that, and it felt like a great weight was lifted off of our shoulders. After the dinner I even got a visit in my villa from Kandi and Porsha and we sat around and talked. I thought, "Finally! A real moment of coolness!" My thing is this -- when new folks are coming together, there are going to be growing pains. You might do something I do not approve of and vice versa. We might have a big blow up and think that we hate each other for a moment. But more often than not, these are just surface issues. Nothing deep. Plus I think because we have this platform, sometimes folks put ten on twenty and do a little extra than they may do in their normal day to day to have their "moment" and show their ass. So I try to take that into consideration. It's just not normal to argue on this level all the time. But that dinner was a lot of things -- we had shade, frustration, glass breaking, arguments, interruptions, patience, understanding, and finally some hope at the end when Phaedra and Kenya agreed to have a private conversation to see if they could make some progress. I think some things are best to bring up in front of everyone and some conversations work better if it's just between the two ladies involved. I guess the trick here is learning when to do what so that no one's feelings are hurt and no one feels blindsided. Again, none of us are perfect, and there is no handbook to all of this. We are all a work in progress and learning each other as we go. But for now things are feeling pretty good and hopeful! Let's pray that these good vibes continue!

Thanks again to all the wonderful viewers who have been awesome! I was hosting an event in Dallas, Texas this past weekend at a place called Marquee, and the love I got was overwhelming. From the flight attendants, to fellow passengers on the plane, to all the folks that showed up to hang out and meet me. Nothing but wonderful vibes and love from supporters of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I was overwhelmed! I appreciate you all accepting me and taking me in to the family! And I must give a shout out to the fabulous RuPaul and the beautiful Regina King who were both guests this past Sunday on Watch Watch Happens Live and both had such great things to say about me. I truly am humbled and am very flattered!


Please check me out on Twitter and Instagram @claudiajordan and my website www.TheRealClaudiaJordan.com.

Also to our fans in Florida -- I will be hosting an all-white party Friday April 3 in Orlando, Florida at Club EMBER. Flyer below. So put on your best all-white outfit and come join me! 

 

 

Thanks,
Claudia J xoxo

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