Cast Blog: #RHOA

Joyce Should Trust Kandi

Kenya thinks Joyce needs to have more faith in Kandi and her decision to marry Todd.

SHOE FETISH

I recently served as maid of honor for one of my best friends. I consider myself as her family. When Mama Joyce told Carmon it was a family affair, I was offended for her. I have been in the company of Mama Joyce many times and she is a sweet, caring, warm person. Having said that, even when emotions are running high, it is never a reason to be taken out of character. I was disappointed to see her take off her shoes as if to prepare for battle or throw them at Kandi’s BFF from childhood, whom she considers a daughter herself. Mama Joyce must contain her inner angst and allow Kandi to live her life, trust that Kandi will protect herself, and understand that she instilled the values in Kandi that have made her the sharp, successful business woman she is today.

INVISIBLE

Ironically, I would rather have a mother that acts inappropriately to protect me than not have a mother at all. My Aunt Lori is my mother’s sister and has always been a mother figure to me. She is smart, driven, successful, and kind. Since birth, my mother made the decision at age 16 to pretend she never had me. She has never spoken to me. Even if present in the same room with other people and family, she pretends that I simply don’t exist. She pretends I’m invisible.

I fully understand that there has been a void in my life because of this, which relates to my romantic relationships. I have never had any issues with falling in love, dating, sustaining long-term relationships, or attracting great men in my life, who have loved me unconditionally. Although I have had now seven proposals of marriage, I have never accepted one.

As my Aunt pointed out, I choose “unavailable men.” I’ve never wanted a married man or one that is in a relationship. I acknowledge I have a pattern of falling for men who are emotionally unavailable, physically unavailable in terms of distance, or categorically unavailable with respect to time or where they are in life. For instance, some men know they are not ready for marriage. Perhaps my pattern is that I unconsciously seek rejection or failure with these men, which sadly mimics my mother’s relationship.Although I have suffered a great deal of pain from my mother, my understanding of my own pathology is a step toward healing. Everyone has a story. Everyone has suffered loss, pain, or rejection on some level. My story of my mother has been written and published for 42 years. My story of having a family of my own is still being written. I have had a series of unfortunate setbacks, but I have faith in knowing that God has a plan for me. My Aunt believes that if a baby is what I want now, then I should focus on that. For me, I will explore all my options as I have someone special in my life. I have learned my lesson about pressuring a man for marriage. With that said, I will continue to work on myself so that I can be the best woman, friend, companion, and mother to my future children… Godspeed.

Kenya

IG: thekenyamoore
Facebook: thekenyamoore
Twitter: @KenyaMoore

 

Claudia: Some People Have a Vendetta

Claudia Jordan shares her thoughts on the group therapy session.

Bravotv.com: Did you feel like progress was made at the therapy session?
Claudia Jordan: I do and I don't. The main people that needed it were not willing participants. One took off because she couldn't deal with hearing about how her actions affected the rest of the ladies. And the other that stayed, well… she received apology after apology without ever acknowledging any of her own wrong doing. That's not right at all. How is it that the woman on the receiving end of a physical attack has apologized to her assailant on several occasions, yet she has yet to show any remorse? That's downright insane to me! At the end of the day, there are lots of situations in this group where one can claim they were "provoked," and if the response/excuse every single time was physical violence, we'd all be in jail! And the sad thing is in this particular environment I felt that everyone else there was really ready to do the work and participate. So if ever there was a time to drop the ego and do the right thing and apologize simply for the purpose of starting the healing process for the group, then that was the time. Some people are just too stubborn and refuse to humble themselves. That happens when you are babied your entire life -- you feel like you can do no wrong. The rest of the ladies (including myself) however have all apologized and taken responsibility for contributing to the discord. But just pay attention to who never apologizes and who always does. I do not think that is because one "group" has been causing all the negativity in the group. But I do think that is because some have an agenda and a vendetta, while the other group is actually trying to make things cool and move on.


But on the flip side I will say that therapy was beneficial. In that one session we did get some good guidance from Dr. Jeff, who I would like to apologize to on behalf of the group for how he was mistreated. He came to help us and was insulted, disrespected, and his professionalism was questioned, which he did not deserve. So Dr. Jeff, I am sorry for how you were mistreated. The session did just highlight that some of us are mature and able to speak respectfully to one another, even if we have an issue with them, and some just cannot stand the sight and sound of someone we have decided not to like just because. All in all we did the best we could, and everyone who stayed did seem to really want to get along. And things were definitely better at work after the session. We were cordial and friendly.

Bravotv.com: Why did you decide to meet with Dr. Jeff one-on-one?
CJ: I have never, ever once claimed to be perfect or without flaws. And when I say I want to really resolve things, I am not just offering lip service -- I really mean it. If there is something that I am doing wrong that is contributing to any of the strife amongst the group, then I'd like to address it and do my part to work on me. I think most of us have issues with others because of past hurts that we perhaps never really dealt with and that cause us to act out in certain ways that may bother others. I am not saying I do this necessarily, but I have no problems talking to someone to at least try to be a better person. I for sure have made my share of mistakes and have experienced a lot of pain and disappointment in my life, but I've also been extremely blessed. But at the end of the day, my intention is always to grow and learn from it all and to be a better woman today than I was yesterday. Dr. Jeff is great at what he does and was for sure an asset to the group. Thank you, Doctor!

Bravotv.com: Did you and Porsha manage to get back to a better place?
CJ: It seemed that way. But I had made the decision that regardless of whether or not she was going to continue the peace treaty, that I was going to do my part to keep it cool, polite, and cordial. And so far so good.

Again I'd like to thank the fans for all their support and love and enthusiasm for #RHOA! I was in Miami Beach and Miami Gardens with the morning show this past weekend for Jazz in the Gardens, and the love I got from all the fans of the show was next level! I was truly flattered and humbled, and I will never let any of this get to my head and change me. I'm grateful to be a part of this and for all the amazing opportunities that keep sprouting from this. I just wrapped a movie called The Hills that I have a lead role in, which will be out in the fall, as well as another film called Love is Not Enough. I'm also working on a product line (to be announced soon) and more calls have been coming in from Hollywood for more great acting roles. I also had a great time with my girls in Miami and ran into a bunch of awesome people doing their thing that love the show too! I feel so rested and at peace. I'm healthy, happy, and appreciative. #ThankYouGod

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