Cast Blog: #RHOA

Joyce Should Trust Kandi

Kenya on NeNe's "Embarrassing" Behavior

Claudia: "These Double Standards are Killing Me"

Kandi: "I'm Not Two-Faced"

Phaedra: I Appreciated Demetria's Apology

Are Demetria and Phaedra Cool?

NeNe on Her Apology

Cynthia: Claudia Can Read with the Best of Them

Claudia: NeNe's Behavior Needed to Be Checked

Kenya on "The Beasts"

Phaedra: Demetria Took Things Too Personally

GIF Recap: Lessons in Reading

Phaedra's Ignorant Comments

Claudia: I'm Not Surprised by NeNe's Ugly Demeanor

Kenya: NeNe Doesn't Want to Like Me

Cynthia: I'm Moving Forward in Grace and Love

Kandi: "I Wasn't Trying to Set Demetria Up"

Phaedra on Being Recognized by the Bar

NeNe: "I'm Not a Fake Friend"

Demetria Responds to the Rumors

Cynthia: Forgiveness is a Process

Phaedra: My Mother is My Rock

Kenya: "An Acknowledgement is Not an Apology"

Claudia: I Do Not Own a Flip Phone

Cynthia: It Was Awkward Seeing Phaedra Uncomfortable

Demetria: I Have No Beef with Kenya

NeNe Explains the Wig

Phaedra: I Was Hoping Apollo Wouldn't Create a Scene

Kenya's Not Interested in Roger Bobb

Claudia: "I'm the Samantha of the Group"

Kenya: Cynthia Commanded the Runway

Phaedra: You Don't Often Come Across Hair Burglary

Cynthia: "I Pray We Can Make Peace"

Claudia: I Could Relate to Cynthia's Insecurities

Cynthia's "Non-Conversation" with NeNe

NeNe: The Pit Bull Act is Not a Good Look

Kenya: If It Looks Like a Fraud...

Phaedra: "I Moved Past This Years Ago"

Claudia: I Am Not Asking for Sympathy

GIF Recap: Saltines, Anyone?

Kenya: Why Would Apollo Try to Hurt Phaedra?

Joyce Should Trust Kandi

Kenya thinks Joyce needs to have more faith in Kandi and her decision to marry Todd.

SHOE FETISH

I recently served as maid of honor for one of my best friends. I consider myself as her family. When Mama Joyce told Carmon it was a family affair, I was offended for her. I have been in the company of Mama Joyce many times and she is a sweet, caring, warm person. Having said that, even when emotions are running high, it is never a reason to be taken out of character. I was disappointed to see her take off her shoes as if to prepare for battle or throw them at Kandi’s BFF from childhood, whom she considers a daughter herself. Mama Joyce must contain her inner angst and allow Kandi to live her life, trust that Kandi will protect herself, and understand that she instilled the values in Kandi that have made her the sharp, successful business woman she is today.

INVISIBLE

Ironically, I would rather have a mother that acts inappropriately to protect me than not have a mother at all. My Aunt Lori is my mother’s sister and has always been a mother figure to me. She is smart, driven, successful, and kind. Since birth, my mother made the decision at age 16 to pretend she never had me. She has never spoken to me. Even if present in the same room with other people and family, she pretends that I simply don’t exist. She pretends I’m invisible.

I fully understand that there has been a void in my life because of this, which relates to my romantic relationships. I have never had any issues with falling in love, dating, sustaining long-term relationships, or attracting great men in my life, who have loved me unconditionally. Although I have had now seven proposals of marriage, I have never accepted one.

As my Aunt pointed out, I choose “unavailable men.” I’ve never wanted a married man or one that is in a relationship. I acknowledge I have a pattern of falling for men who are emotionally unavailable, physically unavailable in terms of distance, or categorically unavailable with respect to time or where they are in life. For instance, some men know they are not ready for marriage. Perhaps my pattern is that I unconsciously seek rejection or failure with these men, which sadly mimics my mother’s relationship.Although I have suffered a great deal of pain from my mother, my understanding of my own pathology is a step toward healing. Everyone has a story. Everyone has suffered loss, pain, or rejection on some level. My story of my mother has been written and published for 42 years. My story of having a family of my own is still being written. I have had a series of unfortunate setbacks, but I have faith in knowing that God has a plan for me. My Aunt believes that if a baby is what I want now, then I should focus on that. For me, I will explore all my options as I have someone special in my life. I have learned my lesson about pressuring a man for marriage. With that said, I will continue to work on myself so that I can be the best woman, friend, companion, and mother to my future children… Godspeed.

Kenya

IG: thekenyamoore
Facebook: thekenyamoore
Twitter: @KenyaMoore

 

Claudia: "These Double Standards are Killing Me"

Claudia Jordan shares her thoughts on NeNe Leakes' apology and the double standards within the group.

WHEW! What trip! First of all I'd like to thank Demetria for inviting us all down to Puerto Rico for her do-over. And honey, what a do-over it was! The rooms were cute and cozy, the weather was amazing, and the pina coladas were fantastic! And on top of all that I really got to know Demetria a little more, and I just adore her. And of course like always I had a great time with Kenya and Cynthia. Those two really know how to have fun, and I appreciate their laid back and easy going demeanor. Our time at the pool was fun -- especially watching Kenya attempt to speak both Italian and broken Spanish to our bartender in an attempt to wrangle up some local cuties!

Dinner…well the evening once again started out fun, fun, fun! I was with my girls Demetria, Kenya, and Cynthia, and it was all so effortless and easy breezy! We were making toasts in honor of our gracious host as well as to new friendships. The tone of the evening certainly changed when the rest of the ladies showed up. I don't think I saw any one of them besides Kandi acknowledge Demetria, our host. Girl, I need these folks to take an etiquette class or something around these parts! But I digress. Things got heated between Demetria and Ms. Parks, and it was all downhill from there. I honestly couldn't understand the treatment of Demetria from Phaedra. On a shady scale from 1 to 10, I give it an 8.

As for the little disagreement I was involved in, Iet's just say it was a fight of words with lots of bobbing and weaving that was capped off with a verbal scalping! Lots of low points and crass things said, and plenty of one sided yelling. I am proud to say that I maintained a calm and classy demeanor throughout and let my wit, not my volume, do my work against several malicious false statements made by the mother hen.

Kandi's party was fun as always and it was nice to see all the ladies get along and have fun -- something I think usually is missing when certain people are in the mix. But I will say on that night it was great hanging with all the ladies. I had a great time and was surprised at who excelled and who struggled with the Pass the Potato/dildo game!

The bus ride to Demetria's performance was interesting. First we got the news that one of the women in our group would be stepping in and taking over for Sherri Shephard in the Broadway play Cinderella! That was great news, because I heard that Sherri did her thing, so although those are some big shoes to fill, even getting a chance at that role is huge, and I acknowledge that. Kudos!!!

I guess I should address the argument with Linnethia (Is that how you spell it? One day I will get it right!). I think I showed maturity when I congratulated her on her newest gig, but I felt I'd take that time to also make the point that she is not the only one working. Often times that is her narrative: "I'm the only one that will be left standing. I'm the Queen! I'm the only original! I'm rich! They are not on my level!" I mean it's exhausting to constantly hear these things, but even more laughable that it's being said to a group of women -- the majority of this group has been working on their own long before the phenomenon of reality television. I know I'm dating myself, but I've been a member of the Screen Actors Guild since 1994. I just don't think people that are used to working feel the need to constantly tell everyone that they work. We're all adult women, aren't we supposed to be working? When one behaves like this, it makes it difficult to "give props," yet Cynthia and I both did regardless of the shade.

Some may think I'm a pit bull or that I was wrong for not accepting NeNe's weak apology. Well I don't know how these ladies do it, but where I'm from apologies for bad actions usually come with an explanation so there is an understanding as to why it happened in the first place. That was my entire point for pressing NeNe. I wanted to know why that was the go-to thing to attack me with -- my integrity as a woman. I've experienced lots of things in my life, I know a thing or two about sexual abuse, so for me to be called a "whore" and have someone talking about my private parts is for sure a trigger. I don't want to get into all the ugly details, but let's just say my life was affected by that word, and it is something that cuts me deep. It seems that has followed me throughout my life. Maybe because I am considered somewhat attractive, the go-to insults are "whore, ho, bitch, and slut." I remember not being able to have sex for years after what happened to me, and men getting frustrated with me and again using that word to hurt me when that was the furthest thing from the truth. I wish people would be careful with the words they chose to use, because you never know someone's back story. So I was demanding NeNe tell me why she was calling me a whore, and she refused to answer that question, so that was why it was so difficult for me to accept a simple, "Well, I'm sorry!"

Now is there a time or occasion when the use of that word is warranted? Absolutely! That should be reserved for women who exchange sexual favors for money or gifts, not because you are losing an argument. When you make these gross declarations on a huge platform, you give the green light for others to follow. I have had hundreds of people repeat this to me since NeNe screamed it at me, and it's not right. And I find it ironic that since then a very false list has been circulating the internet of all these alleged lovers that I'm being linked to, several of which are married to women I am cool with. The timing could not be any more convenient for some. This list is mostly false, not 100% but mostly! Once again, we must be careful with how we characterize one another, ladies. I know that I do not speak on something unless I am damn near 99% certain of it and pretty much know. I encourage others to follow suit.

As for the other lady I fussed with, well, it may have seemed unwarranted and I am sorry about that. I just wanted to make a point that the double standards in this group are crazy! I just don't how for some women it's, "Close your legs to married men," and then to others it's, "Do you girl, get your coins!" It gives me a headache trying to figure out the rules of engagement in this group! Ugh! Can I get a handbook of the rules? Because these double standards are killing me. I need for things to make sense.

I have to say I loved, loved, loved Demetria's performance! I knew she could sing, but I didn't know she could SANG! It almost brought me to tears seeing a beautiful and kind woman living her dream and doing it so damn well! Despite all the shade and negativity she had to deal with leading up to her show, she handled it like a true professional and pushed all that nonsense to the side and flourished. She for sure is an inspiration. Sometimes when I'm down I tend to curl up and hide, but to see Demetria fly high after all the nonsense was inspirational! I will continue to support this woman, and last I heard she was climbing up the iTunes charts and was at number 4! Take that, naysayers!

OK this was my most personal blog so far, and just a taste of things to come. I will continue to try to be an open book so you all can really get to know me. And in the process I hope some who share some of my struggles can feel better about their own and take comfort in knowing that you do not have to feel like you are alone and that you are damaged goods. There is life after tragedy and there are rainbows after the rain. Trust me, I know! I appreciate the love and support from those that have found something in me to relate to. I read all the comments and messages, and I just want to say the love has been overwhelming. Seriously guys and gals! Words cannot express how wonderful you guys have made me feel since joining the show. I love you all! XOXO

 
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