Cast Blog: #RHOA

Joyce Should Trust Kandi

Kenya thinks Joyce needs to have more faith in Kandi and her decision to marry Todd.

SHOE FETISH

I recently served as maid of honor for one of my best friends. I consider myself as her family. When Mama Joyce told Carmon it was a family affair, I was offended for her. I have been in the company of Mama Joyce many times and she is a sweet, caring, warm person. Having said that, even when emotions are running high, it is never a reason to be taken out of character. I was disappointed to see her take off her shoes as if to prepare for battle or throw them at Kandi’s BFF from childhood, whom she considers a daughter herself. Mama Joyce must contain her inner angst and allow Kandi to live her life, trust that Kandi will protect herself, and understand that she instilled the values in Kandi that have made her the sharp, successful business woman she is today.

INVISIBLE

Ironically, I would rather have a mother that acts inappropriately to protect me than not have a mother at all. My Aunt Lori is my mother’s sister and has always been a mother figure to me. She is smart, driven, successful, and kind. Since birth, my mother made the decision at age 16 to pretend she never had me. She has never spoken to me. Even if present in the same room with other people and family, she pretends that I simply don’t exist. She pretends I’m invisible.

I fully understand that there has been a void in my life because of this, which relates to my romantic relationships. I have never had any issues with falling in love, dating, sustaining long-term relationships, or attracting great men in my life, who have loved me unconditionally. Although I have had now seven proposals of marriage, I have never accepted one.

As my Aunt pointed out, I choose “unavailable men.” I’ve never wanted a married man or one that is in a relationship. I acknowledge I have a pattern of falling for men who are emotionally unavailable, physically unavailable in terms of distance, or categorically unavailable with respect to time or where they are in life. For instance, some men know they are not ready for marriage. Perhaps my pattern is that I unconsciously seek rejection or failure with these men, which sadly mimics my mother’s relationship.Although I have suffered a great deal of pain from my mother, my understanding of my own pathology is a step toward healing. Everyone has a story. Everyone has suffered loss, pain, or rejection on some level. My story of my mother has been written and published for 42 years. My story of having a family of my own is still being written. I have had a series of unfortunate setbacks, but I have faith in knowing that God has a plan for me. My Aunt believes that if a baby is what I want now, then I should focus on that. For me, I will explore all my options as I have someone special in my life. I have learned my lesson about pressuring a man for marriage. With that said, I will continue to work on myself so that I can be the best woman, friend, companion, and mother to my future children… Godspeed.

Kenya

IG: thekenyamoore
Facebook: thekenyamoore
Twitter: @KenyaMoore

 

Phaedra: I Do What's Best for My Children

Phaedra Parks responds to criticism over not bringing her children to see Apollo.

Bravotv.com: Did you ever get to see NeNe perform in Cinderella?
Phaedra Parks: I most certainly did see NeNe on Broadway, and she was absolutely fantastic, as you would expect. Her performance was dazzling and I was particularly impressed with how she made the role her own. It can be difficult to portray such a well-known character, let alone add your own style and flair to such an established role. One of the best parts of watching NeNe on stage was seeing her so happy; she was enjoying every minute of it and was absolutely glowing. I’m looking forward to seeing whatever is next for my friend.

Bravotv.com: You’re getting some criticism for not taking the kids to see Apollo; why haven’t you taken them?
PP: Despite the fact that I’m on a reality show, there are some things in my life that are off-limits. People who watch the show only get one slice of the entire Phaedra pie, and it’s unfair to make judgments about someone, or a situation, without having all the information. The one thing I will say is that every single decision I make is based on one thing: the well-being of my two boys. It’s easy for people to ask why she did that or why she isn’t doing this, but the simple truth is unless you are in that situation yourself, you really can’t make that judgment. I do my best to make smart decisions after carefully considering all options and consulting with experts and others who advise me. I know in my heart that everything I do is based on what is best for my children.

 
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