Cast Blog: #RHOA

Joyce Should Trust Kandi

Kenya thinks Joyce needs to have more faith in Kandi and her decision to marry Todd.

SHOE FETISH

I recently served as maid of honor for one of my best friends. I consider myself as her family. When Mama Joyce told Carmon it was a family affair, I was offended for her. I have been in the company of Mama Joyce many times and she is a sweet, caring, warm person. Having said that, even when emotions are running high, it is never a reason to be taken out of character. I was disappointed to see her take off her shoes as if to prepare for battle or throw them at Kandi’s BFF from childhood, whom she considers a daughter herself. Mama Joyce must contain her inner angst and allow Kandi to live her life, trust that Kandi will protect herself, and understand that she instilled the values in Kandi that have made her the sharp, successful business woman she is today.

INVISIBLE

Ironically, I would rather have a mother that acts inappropriately to protect me than not have a mother at all. My Aunt Lori is my mother’s sister and has always been a mother figure to me. She is smart, driven, successful, and kind. Since birth, my mother made the decision at age 16 to pretend she never had me. She has never spoken to me. Even if present in the same room with other people and family, she pretends that I simply don’t exist. She pretends I’m invisible.

I fully understand that there has been a void in my life because of this, which relates to my romantic relationships. I have never had any issues with falling in love, dating, sustaining long-term relationships, or attracting great men in my life, who have loved me unconditionally. Although I have had now seven proposals of marriage, I have never accepted one.

As my Aunt pointed out, I choose “unavailable men.” I’ve never wanted a married man or one that is in a relationship. I acknowledge I have a pattern of falling for men who are emotionally unavailable, physically unavailable in terms of distance, or categorically unavailable with respect to time or where they are in life. For instance, some men know they are not ready for marriage. Perhaps my pattern is that I unconsciously seek rejection or failure with these men, which sadly mimics my mother’s relationship.Although I have suffered a great deal of pain from my mother, my understanding of my own pathology is a step toward healing. Everyone has a story. Everyone has suffered loss, pain, or rejection on some level. My story of my mother has been written and published for 42 years. My story of having a family of my own is still being written. I have had a series of unfortunate setbacks, but I have faith in knowing that God has a plan for me. My Aunt believes that if a baby is what I want now, then I should focus on that. For me, I will explore all my options as I have someone special in my life. I have learned my lesson about pressuring a man for marriage. With that said, I will continue to work on myself so that I can be the best woman, friend, companion, and mother to my future children… Godspeed.

Kenya

IG: thekenyamoore
Facebook: thekenyamoore
Twitter: @KenyaMoore

 

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Claudia: I Felt Good About the Reunion

Claudia Jordan shares her thoughts on NeNe Leakes' breakdown and the reunion as a whole.

Bravotv.com: What was going through your mind when NeNe walked off?
Claudia Jordan: Well the reunion was quite an experience. When NeNe walked off, initially I wasn't sure what was going on to be honest. But I did notice she seemed to be trembling, so I knew she was definitely feeling something very real to her. I just didn't know what set her off at that point. So at first I was a little taken back. I had never seen her cry, but we are all human and everyone has their breaking point.

Bravotv.com: Do you think NeNe had a real breakthrough?
CJ: I honestly did think at that moment she really did. Her demeanor was different afterwards. And I even heard from her after the show. That to me was a good sign that perhaps we could all really move forward and start fresh. I know I'm always open to squash some beef, especially if it's nothing deep rooted and something surface. I don't see why not. But like I said on the show, we all have a story and things that we have had to deal with and overcome. I think we need to not think our problems are bigger than the next woman's and respect one another's struggles -- whether we think they are major or minor. One woman's problems are not more important than the rest. And I think if we can all learn to be sensitive to the next woman, then we are on our way. Hopefully that moment was the catalyst for change in NeNe and in others as well.

Bravotv.com: Do you feel like everyone ended the reunion in a better place?
CJ: I'd like to think so. I do think some will probably never be open for change and are just stuck in their own way, while others really took advantage of the opportunity to take something from it all. I'm not going to worry about those that do not wish to grow and move forward. I will just focus and give energy to likeminded individuals that want to get along, move forward, grow, learn, and progress. I know I felt good about the reunion. I know I didn't chime in a whole lot. And I think I had good reason. You don’t get to see everything, but I felt it was important to let the people who had real issues with each other hash it out with no outside opinions, just like I said in the Philippines. When people interject their opinions and thoughts when it’s not their issue, it just adds confusion to the situation. One of the cast members in particular is good for that. Always adding "well I think..." when it has absolutely nothing to do with her, and I feel those extra unnecessary comments can potentially add fuel to the fire and then there is no coming back. So if my silence was going to help the progress of the group moving forward, then I will take that "L."

Yes, it's "cute" to "read" and get in an epic one liner or rant, but sometimes you just need to shut the hell up and let folks deal with each other and let them do them. I have no problems with that. Plus my opinion on everyone’s situation doesn't need to always be heard -- I wish more of us felt the same way. I will say that this seemed to be a great starting point for folks to move forward and put their money where their mouths are when it comes to being a grown ass woman. I really hope everyone wants to. It'd be great to see how things could go if we spent less time fussing and more time co-existing peacefully. #ThatIsAll

 

As the season has come to an end for me, I just wanted to say wow! What a roller coaster ride it has been! I had no idea getting into this that any of it would happen. I thought I'd come on board, have a little fun, bring a little light-hearted fun, and make some new acquaintances. This show is huge and everywhere I go people come up to me and say such amazingly sweet things, and I am truly humbled when they tell me how they can relate to me and appreciate my realness. I was particularly touched when a teenage boy who was gay and biracial that had always felt like an outsider reached out to me talking about suicidal thoughts he had. We spoke and I was beyond moved when he told me that he could relate to some of the things I spoke about and that I somehow inspired and encouraged him to keep going. Those are the moments that make all the drama and fussing and fighting truly worth it. I want to continue to use this amazing platform for important issues. Again I thank Andy, Carlos, Joy, Lauren, Stephen, the entire cast and crew for this amazing opportunity. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

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