Cast Blog: #RHOA

Joyce Should Trust Kandi

Kenya thinks Joyce needs to have more faith in Kandi and her decision to marry Todd.

SHOE FETISH

I recently served as maid of honor for one of my best friends. I consider myself as her family. When Mama Joyce told Carmon it was a family affair, I was offended for her. I have been in the company of Mama Joyce many times and she is a sweet, caring, warm person. Having said that, even when emotions are running high, it is never a reason to be taken out of character. I was disappointed to see her take off her shoes as if to prepare for battle or throw them at Kandi’s BFF from childhood, whom she considers a daughter herself. Mama Joyce must contain her inner angst and allow Kandi to live her life, trust that Kandi will protect herself, and understand that she instilled the values in Kandi that have made her the sharp, successful business woman she is today.

INVISIBLE

Ironically, I would rather have a mother that acts inappropriately to protect me than not have a mother at all. My Aunt Lori is my mother’s sister and has always been a mother figure to me. She is smart, driven, successful, and kind. Since birth, my mother made the decision at age 16 to pretend she never had me. She has never spoken to me. Even if present in the same room with other people and family, she pretends that I simply don’t exist. She pretends I’m invisible.

I fully understand that there has been a void in my life because of this, which relates to my romantic relationships. I have never had any issues with falling in love, dating, sustaining long-term relationships, or attracting great men in my life, who have loved me unconditionally. Although I have had now seven proposals of marriage, I have never accepted one.

As my Aunt pointed out, I choose “unavailable men.” I’ve never wanted a married man or one that is in a relationship. I acknowledge I have a pattern of falling for men who are emotionally unavailable, physically unavailable in terms of distance, or categorically unavailable with respect to time or where they are in life. For instance, some men know they are not ready for marriage. Perhaps my pattern is that I unconsciously seek rejection or failure with these men, which sadly mimics my mother’s relationship.Although I have suffered a great deal of pain from my mother, my understanding of my own pathology is a step toward healing. Everyone has a story. Everyone has suffered loss, pain, or rejection on some level. My story of my mother has been written and published for 42 years. My story of having a family of my own is still being written. I have had a series of unfortunate setbacks, but I have faith in knowing that God has a plan for me. My Aunt believes that if a baby is what I want now, then I should focus on that. For me, I will explore all my options as I have someone special in my life. I have learned my lesson about pressuring a man for marriage. With that said, I will continue to work on myself so that I can be the best woman, friend, companion, and mother to my future children… Godspeed.

Kenya

IG: thekenyamoore
Facebook: thekenyamoore
Twitter: @KenyaMoore

 

Claudia: This Group Should Reserve Judgment

Claudia Jordan thinks the other 'Wives shouldn't be so willing to believe rumors. 

Bravotv.com: How shocked were you when Cynthia shared the rumor about Chocolate?

Claudia Jordan: Well I really don't know Phaedra that much to comment on her personal life, but from the little bit I am privy to, I was surprised to hear about an alleged affair considering the extreme criticism that Kenya got. At the end of the day only two people know what really did or did not happen, and I would love for this group to reserve judgment on everyone until there is confirmation. But I think a precedent had been set a long time ago, so that has opened the door to where we are now. I think it's easy to believe something negative about someone in the group, because in the past it's been shown that it takes very little actual evidence or proof for some to jump on that bandwagon. Hopefully we can get to a place where we afford each other the same benefit of the doubt that they may one day give us. At the end of the day there should be a protocol that we all follow and it should be applied to everyone. Until then I suspect we may continue to have a problem. But I am hopeful. Perhaps a lot of the drama in this group is because there are so many unresolved issues. And that combined with all the double standards in place is a sure fire recipe for disaster. I still have hope though. Again, not to have everyone be besties, but just being able to co-exist in the same space would be a major accomplishment with these ladies.

 

Bravotv.com: What were you thinking when Phaedra blew up at Kenya?

CJ: I thought it was silly and out of character. But I am glad that Phaedra had enough good sense to not actually hit Kenya. We don't need another physical altercation in this group. Again, we are all supposed to be mature ladies, so with that being said, I think the majority of us have a pretty good grasp of the English language and should be able to talk anything out without resorting to violence. Hitting each other is low class, childish, and ignorant behavior, and I'm so glad that Phaedra didn't really go there.

 

Bravotv.com: Were you surprised when Phaedra walked out?

CJ: Although this has nothing to do with me, I am around these ladies and a witness to all the shenanigans, but from what I've gathered, I wasn't surprised that Phaedra walked out. That seems to be a recurring theme in this group when things get uncomfortable. But at the same time, I am glad she did. If you ever feel the urge to put hands on someone and you are done talking, I think the best thing to do is excuse yourself and leave the situation without adding any more inflammatory language to the mix.

I would like to say that a lot of these issues in this group of course started way before I came around, but being here and seeing things with my own eyes has definitely been enlightening. It tends to get confusing as to what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior in this group, because there are clearly double standards. So in some cases it seems like it's OK to bring up sensitive information in front of the entire group, then in other cases it's not OK -- seems like it all depends on whom it's about. In a perfect world I wouldn't expect for us not to spill tea -- I mean that's what we do -- but if folks expect to be pulled aside to be asked about a rumor or some "tea," then I would hope they would abide by that rule and extend the same courtesy. That's all. Because the way it is now is causing far too much confusion, and as long as there is confusion and unfairness, there is going to be conflict. I've never been around so many arguments, so much shadiness and mudslinging in my life. And especially not since I graduated high school back in the '90s! Maybe there is a way we can get us to a place where we can co-exist peacefully. Hey, a girl can dream can't she?

Again, I want to thank all the viewers that tune in weekly to The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I just returned from Charlotte, North Carolina where I was making a few appearances at CIAA and the love and support I got from hundreds of people that wanted to take pictures and talk about the show; it was amazing! So many people told me they love what I'm bringing to RHOA and I just wanted to say thank you to any of them that may be reading this. The show is loved by so many and I feel we have a responsibility to entertain and hopefully inspire. We've got a lot of the season left and I hope the fans will be happy with how everything turns out! Love you guys!

Follow me on Instagram/Twitter @claudiajordan to get updates on upcoming projects and appearances!

Read more about: