Wowzers! I don't think anyone will ever look at a wedge the same way again.
But before we jump into the Joyce drama of the week, let's see what happened with the other ladies.
We got to see NeNe and Gregg have a little double date with their friends Mynique and Chuck. And Chuck evidently is a big Housewives fan, and by that we mean he dated(?) or at least had some sort of tryst with Kandi and "did not have sexual relations with Phaedra Parks." (Chuck, maybe not the best idea to drop a Bill Clinton quote here...) In any event, Chuck went to the same high school as NeNe and Phaedra, and while Phaedra was rumored to be the "Head Doctor," as NeNe put it, Chuck claims to have never, um, had an appointment.
Apollo finally apologized to Phaedra for the texting kerfuffle, and when he tried to get away with the old "sorry you felt that way" non-apology, Phaedra shot him right down. Never try and worm your way out of a proper apology when dealing with Ms. Parks! But they did finally manage to work it out, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Now they can get back to normal and do it in the bathroom like old times.
Now that Phaedra phinished her phinals, she was available to shimmy on down to Kandi's along with the rest of the girls for a "Cardio Cabaret" workout. The choices of workout attire for this event were quite...varied. Phaedra went full on spandex. Kenya wore a full length gown. NeNe wore flip-flops. And Cynthia wore an '80s-style sequined top. Do sequins really breathe? The lack of sweat that these girls were prepared to face makes me question the level of intensity of this workout, but at least it seemed fun.
Side Note: Did anyone else catch Kandi's extreme side eye when Kenya talked about her "Beyonce moves"?
Before the ladies got to their seductive moves however, NeNe invited all the girls to go on a trip to Savannah. How fun right? Well the invite was met with resounding silence... Maybe it was just because the ladies all have nightmares about bus trips now? Eventually they warmed to the idea though, so yay, first trip of the season!
Side Note: Why was no one more into Phaedra's suggestion that they have a picnic in the Savannah cemetery? Who doesn't want to see the mortuary maven in her element?But wait, where was Porsha? According to NeNe she couldn't attend the class, because she suffered a fainting spell. But don't worry everyone, as Porsha later pointed out she fainted cute! One can only imagine how much more of a tragedy it would have been had see fainted ugly.
Porsha was kind enough to grace us with a demonstration of said cute faint:
However after watching Kim Richards do it first over in Beverly Hills, I'm not as impressed:
Can anyone really compete with the star of Escape to Witch Mountain though? That's unfair.
Kenya sat down with her Aunt, who is truly a straight shooter. Basically she told Kenya to stop waiting around for a man if she wants children (especially since Kenya admits she's not the best at choosing men) and just do it. Seems like pretty sound advice in this case. And hey, then Velvet will finally get a little brother or sister!
And then the dress fitting. If your heart somehow hasn't broken for Kandi yet this season, this was the episode where I think everyone shouted at their TV, "GIVE THIS GIRL A BREAK ALREADY!" Could you imagine coming out in your first wedding dress of the fitting only to find your mother about ready to throw down with your best friend? No? How about breaking up the fight (in the dress), going back in to try on another, and then hearing everyone fighting and just deciding that it isn't worth it and packing up. Way harsh. I mean come on, shouldn't everyone, even if they were ready to kill each other (or beat each other with shoes), put that aside for the bride to be? Not in Atlanta.
Joyce was seriously ready to throw her shoe, and we're not talking flats, we're talking a big, chunky wedge, at Carmon.
Clearly this is a work in progress at the very, very beginning of the progress phase.
Next week rather than menace people with footwear, Joyce takes a different approach to trying to drive a wedge between Kandi and Todd -- talking to Phaedra.