The first thing we learned this week is that the ladies are really, really over "Gone with the Wind fabulous." First NeNe, now Kandi. As she very succinctly put it: "The wind has gone." Clearly Kenya is now under pressure to find a new catchphrase fast, because the other ladies refuse to let her say it ever again. So just in case that was the final time you hear it this season, take one last look at the "Gone with the Wind Fabulous" music video.
In any event, Kandi met Kenya at a Cirque Du Soleil style gym.
After various twirling exercises, Kandi got her Jessica Fletcher on and tried to get to the bottom of the Kenya/Apollo texting situation. Kandi scanned through all the texts, but the worst thing she could find was an "LOL babe" response.
Case closed? We'll have to see...
Porsha sat down with her therapist, who surmised that her marital problems with Kordell may have stemmed from having a father/daughter relationship. And then the therapist said: "You don't sleep with your father," and it was a very awkward moment:
NeNe came to pay the bedridden Cynthia a visit to try and cajole her into shopping, which was super cute. (Except for the part when NeNe complained about how Cynthia was bleeding all over various department stores. That was odd.) But honestly I was distracted the whole time by NeNe's beautiful blue Birkin. Work it!
Kandi/Jessica Fletcher scheduled a cheat day fro-yo binge session with Phaedra so she could fill her in on the findings from Kenya's phone. This was not easy to do given Phaedra's extremely hectic life. Because as Phaedra explained: "My schedule now is babies, dead people, and my study group." Luckily there was just enough time for fro-yo and gossip!
Over at the Bailey residence Cynthia managed to make an awkward conversation with her daughter about dating even more awkward by telling her she wanted a "blow-by-blow" of everything that happens with her new beau...and then quickly retracted that statement and made a cringe-worthy mom joke about it.
All the ladies (sans Kenya) came out for a "cheer Porsha up with chicken taquitos" event, at which Porsha apologized for not being herself last season and said that Kordell wouldn't let her invite any of the ladies over (or any of her family members for that matter). And everyone was like:
After Porsha told the tale of how Kordell packed up and shipped out all her stuff, Cynthia probably summed up the situation best when she said, "Kordell ain't no joke. When he break up with you, he break up with you military style." Seriously! But it was a nice moment to see (almost) everyone come together and toast to getting to know the real Porsha.
NeNe kept her promise to help Kenya find a new home, and was shocked to see her current digs. Mostly because she had a white refrigerator in her room. And in NeNe's world you never, ever have a white refrigerator. Under any circumstances. Period. It was kind of a "No wire hangers!" moment.
And then Kenya's tiny Yorkie jumped on NeNe, and between that and the white refrigerator NeNe grabbed Kenya and the two of them twirled on our of there.
They went to see a gorgeous penthouse, where we learned that Kenya is not comfortable living in less that 5,000 feet. At which point everyone in Manhattan (myself included) sighed and wondered what one would do with all that space.
Finally we end with Phaedra and Apollo very unromantic romantic dinner. And all I can say about it is that poor waitress! She kept coming over at the most inopportune moments, doling out little neck clams while Apollo's talking about how he could have "smashed it" with Kenya (did anyone else immediately recall the "Smang It" video?) and Phaedra's threatening to cut out Apollo's tongue.
At that point she probably should have stealthily whisked away any utensils that could do serious harm and brought over some free dessert.
Relive the fallout of the Kenya/Apollo controversy here and judge for yourself who's in the wrong:
Next week Joyce and Todd finally come together, but it still doesn't look like Joyce is ready to welcome him into the family just yet...