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Recap: Wine Gone Wild

Ep 12: Everyone learned not to come for Kandi's mom, food, or man this week.

By Andrew Herrmann

Who's ready to pour some wine and spill some tea? You are? Great! Let's jump right in.

Peter and Cynthia may have their ups and downs, but here they are celebrating their third wedding anniversary. Mazel! It seems as if they've at least put aside the whole Malorie-fueled debacle behind them for the night and enjoy an intimate dinner for...four? They seemingly decided to celebrate with another couple, Christopher and Natalie, who (like approximately 20% of the people featured on the show) had some potentially shady things to say about Todd. More on this to come.

In any event, Peter revealed that he had actually planned an intimate dinner for Cynthia (just the two of them) over at their new studio, complete with a serenading from Christopher, who also happens to be a singer. Seriously if there's one thing that Peter is really good at, it's big, romantic surprises.

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Over at Porsha's new pad, NeNe stopped by in an attempt to work on their relationship post-trunk show tear fest. NeNe brought over some wine, but her true housewarming gift to Porsha was clearly their little gossip session about Kenya's "African Prince" and her new car. Nothing says "welcome to your new home" quite like getting the tea on your frenemy.

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Speaking of Kenya, she's having a baby! No, she's not pregnant, but she's planning pursue motherhood without waiting around for a man. And as she revealed this news to her family, they seemed...

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...happy? Confused? Maybe a little of both? Either way, Kenya's pretty pumped to start a new chapter of her life and start building her own family.

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Meanwhile Kandi went on the hunt for a potential space for her new musical along with Todd, who had just recently defected to go pursue another opportunity. Maybe it was the magic of the theater, maybe Kandi's sound check on the stage touched something in Todd, but after Kandi gave the place her stamp of approval, Todd decided he wanted back in on the musical. Yay! Finally a win for Kandi.

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The 'Wives then took a group trip to a local Atlanta vineyard. (Who knew Atlanta wine was a thing?) It was quite the group between all of our beloved 'Wives, Cynthia's sister Malorie, Marlo (she's baaack!), one of NeNe's bridesmaids, and Cynthia's friend Natalie. Now you knew this would be a recipe for disaster, but surprisingly not so much a disaster as you might have thought. (Personally Kandi and Marlo being in the same room was making me INCREDIBLY nervous, as I'm sure anyone else who watched the Season 4 reunion was).

After everyone was thoroughly wined up (and props to NeNe's friend for grabbing a red wine glass right away just because it was bigger), the corks hit the fan. Kenya and Natalie got into it, with Kenya calling her marriage to Christopher a common law "gift certificate" wedding and letting rip that she had been talking smack about Todd.

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At this point Natalie tried to explain that she didn't really mean he was an opportunist, but basically saying that he was an opportunist. You couldn't help but agree with Kenya's digging herself deeper motion, because you could see the fear in Natalie's eyes when she realized she was doomed, because as all the ladies seem to know, you don't mess with Kandi's mom, Kandi's food, or Kandi's man.

But Kandi actually went pretty easy on her, and in a genius move simply turned it around into, yes he's bettering himself with me because I am the bomb. Copious toasting and laughter ensued to a game well played on Kandi's part, while new comer Natalie was left to brood. But hey, at least there was plenty of wine!

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Side Note: Did anyone else notice that almost EVERYONE was wearing a black dress? Is that standard wine tasting attire?

Next week everyone is fighting in lingerie and I am already predicting many, many wardrobe malfunctions...

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