Kenya: I was Devastated
Kenya Moore opens up about confronting her mom.
Bravotv.com: What inspired you to have the family reunion?
Kenya Moore: I’ve been open about wanting to have a family of my own since I was added to the cast. I have often regretted exposing myself the way I have, especially with my love life. It left me susceptible to mockery, false rumors, and ridicule (such as I can’t get a man). With that said, I’ve learned the men I’ve dated aren’t the issue -- I am the issue. Through the help of counseling, seminars, and advice from people I love and respect, I knew it was time to dig deeper into my past. As such, that meant exploring my primary relationships and how they are connected to my romantic relationships. I needed to heal from the inside out, and realized I need my family to do so.
Bravotv.com: What was going through your mind while knocking on your mom's door?
KM: I couldn’t help to remember the countless times I’ve tried knocking on her door both literally and figuratively. The many times that little girl begged to be my mother’s friend or even just acknowledge that I was even alive. I begged that she would stop treating me as if I was invisible. Every attempt ended in her laughing in my face or cruelties to try to break my young spirit. This had nothing to do with cameras; I approached her without cameras my entire life. I also asked the cameras to stay behind. This was really my only moment that I felt was different, because this time I had the support of my father that has known my pain all too well.
When I reached her door and knocked I literally heard her voice, the same voice that called me on the phone when I was 4-years-old and told me never to call her my mother. I heard my mother say, “Don’t open that door.” Seconds later, I heard her lock the door in my face.
I was devastated, but I cannot say I was surprised. This is the inhumanity I’ve always known.
Bravotv.com: Were you surprised Aunt Lori Left?
KM: I believe my Aunt is torn between her sister and her family and me. I don’t envy her position, but having said that, I was shocked she left as she has always shown me the most compassion. I believe she did what she thought she should do to stay neutral. But in that, she clearly took a side, which is what my mother’s family has always done by turning their heads when I was being abused in front of them.
I AM NOT INVISIBLE
I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me, because I am the woman I am today because of my mother. I am grateful to have the love of my family that have always been there for me and the newfound relationship I have with my Dad.
To the many fans that have reached out to me with similar stories of abandonment, I want to thank you for sharing your heartfelt stories with me. Please know that we don’t have to be defined by our parents. Instead, be grateful that we are better for their treatment, grateful that we are stronger for their cruelty, and brave to confront life’s challenges head on. We are not alone. We are blessed. We are loved. We deserve love. We are not invisible.
Please find the first chapters of my memoir Invisible here.