Adrienne Maloof

Adrienne discusses this episode's "real marriage moment" and her approach to conflict.

on Nov 18, 20100

This was a hard episode to watch for so many reasons.

First, as I mentioned, losing my Uncle Pat was a very difficult thing for my family. You saw Paul and I having a tense conversation about his decision to be elsewhere the night my mother invited us to her place just after her brother’s passing, and I think this sort of misunderstanding is typical in families as they experience tragic or unforeseen circumstances. We all have expectations about how everyone around us will act or react in a crisis, and unfortunately it’s not always what we had envisioned. I think the key here is to finally understand what someone’s intention was: Did they think they were doing the right thing? Did they think their actions would be helpful? Sometimes actions and intentions don’t convey the same message, so we really have to evaluate whether or not their heart was in the right place.

It was a typical marriage moment though, wasn’t it? He thinks you said one thing, you KNOW you said another and he won’t admit he’s wrong. Oh husbands, we are not that complicated. If you would just tell us we’re incomparably beautiful, and always, always right, then things would be so much simpler for you. Ha, just joking. Maybe.

Speaking of conflict...

As you saw, I wasn’t able to make any portion of the NYC trip, but I was made aware after the fact of what had transpired between Kyle and Camille. I’ve been asked dozens of times about what I would have done had I been at that table during the argument, and the question has really made me think about how people react in confrontational situations. Some of us jump right in and state our opinion, while others sit back and observe. I am more of a “sit back and observe”-type in the beginning, because it’s very important to me to get all the facts and to try and understand the differing points of view, before I state my own. Trust me, I’ve had a lot of practice growing up in a house with four brothers and then running multiple businesses. You learn very quickly that taking sides doesn’t accomplish half as much as working to find an acceptable middle ground. That’s definitely a lesson I am working on teaching my kids. One important thing I’ve realized about negotiations is that people essentially want to be heard and validated, so if you can find even one relatable kernel in the theirs point of view and acknowledge it, they will be far more willing to hear you out. Ultimately, there were a lot of emotions and dynamics at play that night, and to me that is the hardest part of it all. No matter who you are or what you have, the common thread is we all have feelings, which can easily be hurt, and no amount of privilege will prevent us from just being human.

Adrienne

P.S. With the Thanksgiving holiday coming up, I encourage everyone to look around them and find a way to give back – trust me, it will do more for your happiness than any retail therapy ever could!

177 comments
zookeeper93
zookeeper93

And fast forward three years and it turns out that you were not joking after all. You would rather be right, than happy. 

KimberlyKimberlyKimberlyKimberly
KimberlyKimberlyKimberlyKimberly

Hi Adrienne, Love you! You are super cool. Just have to say though. Be nicer to your hubby. Guys love feeling like their wife looks up to them and treat them like they are the most awesome thing.

I think you are forgetting to do that. I know you have a ton on your mind. I am just like you when it comes to my husband with our youngest.

Anyhow, I think you and your husband are super cool. And I hope you don't fight as much. Don't embarrass your husband in front of a group of people at the table either. It is not nice!! Even if he deserves it. Otherwise he is going to lose his mojo. I know you don't want that to happen.

Men have a strong desire to feel important, and for their wives to feel like they are the hotest, smartest person...If you don't do that, they look for that kind of attention from other girls.

Just remember to be sweet occasionally. I know you have it in you.

texanlaura
texanlaura

You are a class act. You and Lisa are the smartest, most elegant, most delightful of all the housewives. I am a mother of three sons and i have NEVER watched a reality type tv show before. I accidently found the RHWOBH one day, and I was hooked. Keep up your loving comments about family, thanksfulness and giving back. :)

breana weatherford
breana weatherford

ur my hero hopefully one day me and my lil boy can meet my hero ur the most wonderful woman i have ever seen on reality television i admire u

Emi Suzuki
Emi Suzuki

Hi Adrienne, I am very inspired by you and have decided that you're the person that I would like to be like most when I finally figure out what I want to do with my life. I am eighteen years old but I know for a fact that I want to not only be successful but also very philanthropic. Your selflessness is genuine but you are also fun to watch on the show and I admire your personality a lot. Thanks for being such a great role model for me and I wish you luck and love with the rest of your ventures. =) Sincerely, Emi

Greek Girl from Connecticut
Greek Girl from Connecticut

Hi Adrienne,

You and your family are great!! You are very humble and grounded people!!! Your husband, Paul is so adorable!!! He's my favorite hubby of all on the show!! Wishing you all the best!!!

Pepper2000z
Pepper2000z

LIke everyone else I admire you and I think that your parents did an amazing job with you and that you and your cute spouse will do an equally good job with your boys. I love your motto..."money is what I have, NOT what I am". It's clear that you value your family over your money and that's why I believe that if all your money disappeared tomorrow, that as long as you had your family you would be fine. It's like your family is your REAL thing and you and your bros enjoying making money as a hobby. The fact that you said "to hell with the show, my mom needs me" speaks volumes about your character. You have your priorities straight and I hope your castmates...some of them at least....learn from you.

Laura Wells
Laura Wells

Hi Adrienne,

I just want to say how much I admire you as a business women, Mom, and the time you give to charity! You have inspired me to start my own business! I have started selling Scentsy which are beautiful decorative warmers that use low watt light bulbs to fill your home with over 80 wonderful fragrances. These warmers are flame and soot free and completely safe and non-toxic to pets and children. I am trying to find a resort that is cutting edge as the Palms Casino is to feature these warmers in their guest's rooms! This would definitely be something that would set the Palms apart from other resorts. These warmers are becoming so popular that the founder of the company is going to be featured on the Today Show with Hoda and Kathy Lee on Wednesday 12/8. Please take the time to look at my website at delightfullylaura.scentsy.us and let me know what you think! I value your feedback!

Warm and enlighten the soul!

felice
felice

I love you. You are so pretty, flawless. Your hair is pefect. I watched the show, wathch happens live and heard the comment about your "glitter" hair...its the bomb! I love your husband too. You guys are successful and fab. I love how humble you are. You have a good head on your shoulders, and I admire the way you think...as much as I from the show. If you did have "work" done so what!!! Im sure you were just as pretty before. Plus if you did, it looks perfect...unlike some people their work looks scary! Anyways I'm happy you joined the show.

timbo
timbo

adrianne and lance loved u both on andy tonight, my question is with all your wealth and influence, and you 2 are obviously very cheritable people. our country and the world are hurting so bad why isnt the top 2 percent of the wealthiest people unwilling for a tax increase not challenging congress. the rich keep getting richer and the poor and middle class are suffering. obvioulsy our government doesnt care for the average americian. without any support from the private sector or the government we do not have a chance. My question is what r u going to do to make it a even playing field

sugarsuga
sugarsuga

Adreinne, i admire you a lot. Even with all your wealth you seem to be a very humble person. Keep it up!

Annie in Las Vegas
Annie in Las Vegas

Adrienne, I find it interesting to watch how you conduct yourself - for someone who seems to have all (the beautiful home, the glamorous lifestyle, etc.) you seem to be very down to earth as a genuine person. It appears you value everything your parents taught you at an early age and the important things in life that have nothing to do with money. Your neighbor Lisa seems to have that in common with you, as she also conducts herself with a sense of self worth that goes far beyond what money can buy. Conducting yourself as a lady, first and foremost and still saying what needs to be said, when required, comes with class that can never be bought. You are obviously the tough cookie in the bunch, and you handle it well. I have to say that seeing the way your husband responds to you shows he has more than love for you, he shows the kind of respect that cannot be faked. Regardless of the editing involved, he truly seems to adore his wife (I can hear you say: and he better!) as much as he appears to be afraid of his wife every now and then. It's very funny to watch. I hope they will show more of your life, including the charity work you do. It would be great to see what kind of programs you are involved with that help to empower women of all walks of life. For such a petite woman, you show a sense of power that has nothing to do with money...it is a power from within. You don't seem to involve yourself with the usual "housewives" antics and insecurities --that's refreshing to see. I'd like to see how you are teaching your children strength from within is first. Best wishes for your continued happiness in life.

LatinaFan
LatinaFan

I have to admit that I hadn't been too excited about this season of housewives but after watching a few episodes, it is clear that you are class and elegance from head to toe including the gold in your hair. I love it!!!

Bravo, I'd like to see more of Adrienne in a spin off like Bethanny Frankel. Adrienne is a fascinating modern woman.

On the other hand, if I never saw Camille, Taylor, and Kim but especially Camille on TV again, it wouldnt bother me in the least.

Swtjustice
Swtjustice

Adrienne, first off I'm sorry for your loss. I really enjoyed watching you on the show and how you handled yourself. You're down to earth but strong personality was refreshing to watch.

Emily Dallas, TX
Emily Dallas, TX

I ENJOY WATCHING YOU... OF ALL THE HOUSEWIVES SHOWS YOU SEEM THE MOST GENUINE AND YOU HAVE THE MOST MONEY, BUT YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW IT. YOU SEEM SO NICE AND I THOUGHT YOU TREATED YOUR STAFF AT THE PALMS WITH SUCH RESPECT! I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. I HOPE THAT YOUR MOM IS DOING WELL. I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO LOSE A SIBLING. MY SISTER WAS KILLED BY A DRUNK DRIVER AND I THINK OF HER EVERYDAY. MY PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

WomanINshock
WomanINshock

I admire you a lot, you can be bragging about all the money you have etc, etc but instead you work hard like any other person and you support your family when ever they need you. I really, really think you are amazing, God bless you and your family always!

Take care & Never change!!!

little countess
little countess

Adrienne,

Love you and your family. Your husband is a hoot!!!!!. He reminds me of my brother in law, Sam.

You are a joy to watch, to know that money and beauty do not effect your inner self. You are an example to Camille and Taylor.

new viewer to the show
new viewer to the show

Maybe some of the millionaires (Camille) need to learn from you! You are truly represent a powerful woman that can have a successful business and family.

YOU ROCK!

My thought and prayer are with you and your family.

Jully
Jully

Adrienne, I love you! Your relationship with your husband reminds me of me and my husband. We sometimes argue and laugh at the same time.. we are that comfortable with each other. You are so classy, keep being you!

ragtag
ragtag

Too bad you weren't in NYC. Seems like a bit of wisdom is what Kyle and Camille needed.

Poulsbo Washington Working Mother
Poulsbo Washington Working Mother

Adrienne, I am so sorry for your loss. I love you on this show, you are my favorite. You are a role modle for women in many ways.

fan80
fan80

I enjoyed your blog and agree completely. It if funny that the argument paralleled Camille and Kyles with completely different out comes. Emotions sometime interfere with reason and good intentions. I do hope these ladies put this in the past and we continue to see a positive portrayal of your lives. Condolences on your loss and my best to you and your family.

Gail Hudson
Gail Hudson

Hi Adrienne, Sorry for your loss, you're My Favorite housewife on RHOBH. I love the fact that you're so Humble and Powerful. Your energy is amazing!!!

Katie858
Katie858

So my friends and I are little behind on the episodes, and we recently watched the Las Vegas show with awe and envy. As elementary school teachers, we don't really have the chance to get away for a little fun and relaxation, let alone Las Vegas. We fantasized about how great it would be to have a little glamour in our lives for a weekend like all of you, but it would never be able to happen on our budgets. Adrienne, as owner of the Palms, I'm mainly begging you, could you PLEASE help us?? Send a few teachers to Vegas on our spring break for a trip we would never forget? We love your show!!! Please consider it-thank you! -Katie, 3rd grade teacher Townline Elementary School Vernon Hills, IL

Mckinney viewer
Mckinney viewer

Adrienne, you are by far my fav housewife. I absolutely love your humility and laove watching you on the show. You remind us all that humility is a beautiful thing to posess. God bless you and your family! Love ya!

ViewerT
ViewerT

You are incredibly beautiful! You are also such a role model with all of your success, your amazing family, and your great personality. You seem like the ultimate business woman as well as having a leveled head and a large, warm heart. My prayers go put to you and your family.

Yankeegal1970
Yankeegal1970

I would love to see more charity that you might do on the show. We see the glitz and glam, but do you help the less fortunate? I am a public school teacher and I have a hard time watching when my students come from homes where there is no food and heat and our school doesn't have have ample books and supplies. Could you donate to local schools and maybe help shed the spolight on schools and teachers that are in such need? It is not just the urban areas but suburban and rural schools as well. We need help and would love to see someone of your stature bring light to the most important thing- EDUCATION!

AO
AO

Yes- Kudos to parents that can raise such a wonderful example.

AO
AO

Wow- your intelligence always shines through- along with your internal peace and goodness!

J Ferrari
J Ferrari

You and Paul are the sweetest pair. I love watching you interact with each other and it's obvious you are a beautiful match. He adores you and you sparkle each time the camera films you together talking. It's really sweet to watch two people who have a real bond and commitment to one another. The connection you share is genuine and your shared fondness is refreshing to watch. I am lucky to be married the love my life and very best friend too. While we don't always (and sometimes it seems rarely) agree with one another--we always find our way back "home" to each other. It is a gift for which I am so grateful.

Aloha808
Aloha808

Camille could learn a thing or two from studying your class, poise, and style. You, Adrienne, have real grace!

Kara from RI
Kara from RI

I'm wondering the same thing...where can I get that necklace?

Happy Holidays, Kara

.
.

I think growing up with a powerful family and quite a few brothers has made you a strong woman. You probably learned not to put up with nonsense from the men in your family. And so you do not put up with nonsense from anyone else.

And having to run businesses, you have to be level-headed, analytical and smart about things. I see that you are very active in running your businesses and don't just boast about it.

Like you, I too am very careful about the friends i keep close to me. That I get from my mother, who has a keen sense of who equates to trouble. She is the youngest of 12 children and had to hold her own. And she had the guts to come to this country, the U.S., on her own a long, long time ago. Like you, she is certainly no ditz. She likes to run things. And I'm glad that I get some of that strength from her.

your so amazing
your so amazing

You and Lisa seem to be the leveled headed ones. AMAZING.

Voice from Nebraska
Voice from Nebraska

Adrienne,

I really like your grace, but I also really loved that you displayed your wedding dress the way you did in your home. It was really a beautiful touch and something to keep a person grounded in how you felt on that magical day.

VieweDARLENEr
VieweDARLENEr

ADRIENNE- HI I REALLY THINK YOU ARE THE MOST LEVEL -HEADED OUT OF THE B.H HOUSE WIVES WELL YOU AND LISA JUST WOULD LIKE TO WISH YOU A GREAT THANKS GIVING AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS.LOVE WATCHING THE SHOW ONE MORE THING MONEY DOESNT RUIN ALL PEOPLE YOU SHOWN THAT...

Cracker Jax
Cracker Jax

You seem like a genuine person with a huge heart. It's refreshing to see someone with so much means be so, "real". You and Lisa seem amazing. :) Kyle too! :) PS. Sorry for your loss

Johnetta
Johnetta

You are my best friend (in my head). I truly like your attitude towards everything. I really can relate to you! Wishing you a wonderful holiday with your family!

TX-LB
TX-LB

Adrienne- You come across very classy and fair. Those are great qualities to see on a show that projects superior attitudes and entitlement. It's such a true statement that all the money in the world can't buy you class and tactfulness. Kudos to your parents for raising you right and thank you for being the voice of reason on a crazy, yet addicting, series.

Rebeca
Rebeca

i am not going to read your blog, all i have to say is i love your attitude, how you carry yourself and how you process and handle your husband!! love it! many blessings!

Lovely9668
Lovely9668

yep, it was. thy were posing for pics together

Vee Lu
Vee Lu

Well said.......

I completely agree with you. Validation between two conflicting people is very important and unfortunately, that didn't happen. I also have to say that had you gone on that trip, I doubt very seriously that these women would have had that fight at all. For whatever reason, the ladies seem to "play" nice with one another when you're around. I think that is a great compliment to your strength and character as a woman. And also condolenses to you and your family for your loss.

gd
gd

You are very nice. You are intelligent, classy and beautiful.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your lovely family.

karentc
karentc

I was just watching the Joy Behar show, they were talking about Charlie Sheen. The showed a piece of tape with Charlie taking a picture with a couple. Was that you and your husband? I bet my Thanksgiving dinner it was!!

Philadelphia, PA
Philadelphia, PA

Adrienne hello and Thank You....

I didn't think I would like the RHBH, I was very wrong... You are appreciated and I respect your attitude.. Privledged or poor you are filled with Class and a big heart, those things cannot be purchased... I love how you and your hubby balance each other and you guys manage to stay human and not become robots i'n such a wealthy world, "god~bless" I hope you never lose that...

How do you stay leveled, is it the closeness with your family, is it the way you were raised, ????

I never knew or heard of you before this show and it amazes me to see what is possible especially from a none "green" greedy person... You deserve your life, cause you truly appreciate it.. And I don't mean the glam part ;•) Good for You and your realness!!!!

Ps.. Your hubby is a cutie you too compliment each other love it!!

KellyinNC
KellyinNC

If I remember correctly, he did say he was sorry. Was that not good enough? It seems that he really tries and you keep shooting him down.

karentc
karentc

I hope you realize how much the viewers like you? You really weren't on the last episode that much and look at all the response!!

aunt kiki
aunt kiki

You are wonderful, sensible and have your act together! I love watching you on the show!