Every married couple can recall an evening when one person is really not in the mood to go out and the other is…this was one of those nights.
As Mauricio's birthday approached, Russell was dealing with a heavy load at the office and we had been managing some emotional challenges at home with our extended family. Russell had to admit a close family member to the Malibu Beach Rehabilitation Center that week after an emotional intervention.
We were both extremely stressed, and feeling very different about how we each wanted to handle it. I thought we could spend the evening with our friends and forget about all the stress, while he was of the mindset to get some rest, try to relax, and have a little downtime. Both methods were good in theory but not necessarily on the night of our friend's birthday party with TV cameras rolling.
Russell was a good sport to accompany me to the party, and he did his best to have a nice time. He was tired, and preoccupied with his commitments, and although I wanted him to have fun, he just wasn't feeling it and I get that.
Russell has learned first-hand that a group of girls together with a DJ and a dance floor can turn into a marathon evening and he could tell we were headed down that path. My girlfriends and I can turn a simple dinner out into a five-hour chat session and he knows it. When Russell went home, he wasn't angry and I wasn't either. We weren't arguing. He was just ready to go home and it was late. I should have just gone home with him because after he left, I wasn't in the mood to have fun without him.
I beleive your husband has Aspergers. I think you would do wise to check into this. My husband also has it and it seemed surreal at first but it explained alot of the distance and inability to connect with others socially. I see so many similarities. Check into it.......
Very sad for you, that you cant own up to how you really feel towards your husband. There is a sadness and wanting in your eyes. A husband who truly loves his wife will always put her needs ahead of his own.
Taylor -- thank you for your candid review of the evening. I can see that both you and Russell love each other and your family. All families deal with challenging times. Hang in there girl -- wishing you well. -- Sue
PS -- one of my favorite scenes from the show is Russell with Kennedy trying to coax her to help him cook dinner -- hilarious! 4-year old logic is so intimidating! :-)
sometimes these things happen in a marriage, the important thing is to seek out the problem and get back on the same page. just never let stress control the marriage.
I know we only see a very small slice of your life, but as an outside observer it seems you make alot of excuses for your husband's bad behavior. There was no reason for him to completely ignore you for most of the evening. You seem so very unhappy with him.
You are fantastic. You are beautiful and deserve to be happy. You are such a sweet and truly charismatic person. Keep your head high girl we all go through tough times... Thanks for bring the real-ness to the real housewives.
Taylor, it can't be easy ever to be in the middle of TV cameras when you want the time to breathe and deal with real life privately. Yes, you made the choice to do the show but having the dignity and class to know when not to let the show invade private and personal matters such as the intervention speaks tons.
It pains me to see you and Russell through your struggles but now, knowing what he was going through, I respect you both even more for not exploiting it on the air and not getting to be the drama queen of the week in order to sacrifice the dignity of your family and friends.
We are truly rooting for you and Russell - you both seem to really want more than just the 80% business relationship you talked about before. Marriage isn't easy - if it was, we know there would be no divorces.
Thank you for sharing for us in your blog what the situation was and not what it appeared to be from the storyline.
Russell, you have an amazing lady in Taylor - smart, beautiful, witty and funny and Taylor, you have a man in Russell who seems to really be trying the best he can after realizing and learning maybe from the other husbands what steps to take, even if they're baby steps. Together, you have a beautiful baby girl in Kennedy.
You have a beautiful family. Hold on to that and fight for it.
I think you're a very sweet person, Taylor, and I just about cried about your frustration with your husband. I think we've all been there, sometimes things improve or else we move on in our own time. Hopefully Russell, watching these episodes, will realize what he has in you and how he's been a stick in the mud, and make an effort to please you. If not, you are young and beautiful, and should seek happiness elsewhere. As Kyle said, you deserve it.
Hi Taylor, I've been happily married for 27 years to my best friend. I watch this show all the time, unless it's tv trying to make your husband look bad and kinda cold, I don't think the way he treats you is right. You seem like such a loving woman who wants to spend some quality time with her husband. My husband is not a partyer, but he always treats me with respect, maybe a long talk is in order between the two of you. God Bless you, I believe in marriage and I hope you can work it out, so you can have a healthy relationship where both parties are happy.
Taylor, I think you're so sweet and deserve to be with someone who appreciates what a wonderful woman you are. After watching the show where you supported domestic abuse after being a child of that yourself, I can see how much you've been through and you deserve someone that will make you so happy that you forget about your past. I want to let u know, as an outsider, that it seems as though you're putting up with abusive behavior by putting up with your husband who shows no emotional attachment or understanding of what you went through. You're a gorgeous woman and you will find someone that will appreciate you and laugh with you and treat you the way you deserve. Business is business, and it has nothing to do with love. I may only be 22, but after seeing this last episode I just felt the need to write to you and let you know that your personality shines on its own, you don't need anyone making you cry. All the best!
Taylor, do not compare a venture capitalist's stress to a real estate broker. If his venture goes bad he loses money, a broker loses nothing but time and the cost of advertisement. Plus Kyle's husband owns the brokerage so he gets part of the commission from those that work for him. Russell runs with the big boys. Adrienne's husband's job is more comparable to Russell's. More in Russell's defense...when you pack for him for Vegas, he had no clue you were miffed...he walked away like a happy little boy smiling...never picking up on your body language...he is missing that ability. After viewing that episode did he offer to do his own packing? I hope they ask that question at the reunion.
I'm glad you and Russell are in a better place based on what you blogged vs what was just aired throughout the show. You seemed so sad when talking to Kyle and when talking to Russell at the Party. Actually in every scene with Russell you seem heartbroken and lonely. The more shows that air the more lovely, articulate, compassionate and giving you appear as a woman and mother, and even as a wife trying hard to please her husband at all costs. You are completely gorgeous and have a big heart...obviously unfulfilled by Russell. I'm sad to say that your blog sounds like you are covering for Russell's shortcomings at the white party, making excuses for his aloofness and lack of fun spirit. In watching the episode you genuinely seemed hurt and sad. I'm sorry lovely Taylor, but the blog here does not match the deep emotional feelings you wore on your beautiful face in each scene. YOU DESERVE true happiness and unabashed and unconditional love from Russell. Jury's out on him, though if anyone can make Russell "cross from the dark side to the fun side" it is you. You deserve a full, full life especially with your beautiful daughter.
Your husband appears to have an autism spectrum disorder called Asperger's Syndrome. I just figured out why my husband of 21 years behaves the way he does. You need to research this. It's NOT you. You are not alone. Hang in there and good luck.
I just want to say that I felt so bad for you tonight, at least now i understand why your husband was acting that way. Stay sweet , I wish you and your family all the best.
I think you are an amazing person and you have been one of the most dynamic housewives on the show. I have to thank you for being so honest as to put yourself and your marriage out there like you do. I have been married 2 years and it has been more difficult than I ever thought it would. I think Russell is an amazing person and married you for so many reasons. He will not change and you shouldn't try to change him. I loved the line of the show where you go 'I just wanted to celebrate my life'. More people should think like that more often.
Thank you, Chrissy
Staying back to have fun is fine. A realationship is give and take, and your hubby seems to just want to do what HE wants and if you like it great, if you don't oh well.
Have fun and live your life girl.
Hi Taylor, I really like you but I think you are kidding yourself and in denial. You make a lot of excuses for Russell all the time. That night in Vegas he saw you guys laughing and kind of getting loud like he thought you guys had enough to drink and so it was time to go so you didn't embarrass him. Then with the puppy for your daughter... he knew you didn't want the puppy and he just didn't care. Its his way or no way and now look what your poor daughter has to go through. I'm not trying to be mean I just want you to know life is too short to be unhappy. I know this as I wasted 16 years with someone that made me miserable.
My husband is alot like your Russell...I call it "emotionally illeterate". They do not want to be this way and have the ability learn and change. Tears turn them off and away also you must trust that if he did not adore you...he would not be married to you. My husband and I have been married 13 years.
Taylor, you look so sad, you should talk with Russell and let him know how you feel and he needs to listen. I also think you, Kyle, Lisa and Adrienne need to exit away from Camille, she is a snake, and all the women in LA need to keep away from her. I have a feeling Nicks wife has got the message.
Dear Taylor, Try not to make excuses for your husband. You deserve for him to treat you the way you treat him... accept nothing less. At the very least he can be straightforward and kind. Life is too short for you to have to revolve around a moody man. Moodiness is just self indulgent behavior - insist that he grows up immediately! It is admirable of you to volunteer at the women's shelter. Emotional abuse, while not potentially life threatening, is still threatening to your overall well being and quality of life. Help yourself by allowing your husband the opportunity to change the way he behaves towards you, if he doesn't transform himself into a Mauricio or a Paul or a Ken, you need to leave him so that you can enjoy the rest of your life. I wish you well.
hello mrs armstrong my name is christian rodriguez . Im 14 years old and from staten island new york and im a boy scout of troop 160 and im almost done but i need a eagle scout project. My project will have somthing to do with battered women , my mother told me that you know what its like growing up in a battered house . Mrs armstrong it would be so amazing and so so so helpful if maybe you can try to get some people to donate dippers or new clothing because thats what the organization im planing to work with only takes new clothing and as you know its very hard to get people to donate new clothing mrs armstrong if i make eagle i will be the first one in my family out of many past scouts i would be so great full if you could help me if you could email back my father with any info of help you could give me i would be so great full you and i would be helping women all over this island and maybe if we can get it out enough over the U.S i really hope and pray you can help with this project i think it would be so amazing to not only take my project to staten island but to all over america . Im upset to say i do not know how i would prod cast it all over the u.s . I would really love to get this message out i would really appreciate it so please if you can help in any way email back my dad thank you so much Mrs armstrong
This is for Taylor. Taylor, I married a "work-a-holic" 21 years ago. Not only did I spend many a special occasion "alone" like Anniversary, Valentines day, etc, but I also did all the stuff with our children alone... like Holiday shopping, Birthday plans, camping, fishing, play time, etc. He rarely danced with me at special events or displayed public affection like other couples. In fact he rarely went to special events. Now I am 54 years old with health problems made worse by stress. I feel so old and alone. We own a ranch but I live here without my husband most of the time as his job is out of state. Yes he comes home once every 3 weeks. You would think he'd take time to relax but no... he just works once he gets in until the time he leaves. He is so driven to be a success that he has let life pass him by. People use to tell me be grateful he is not in the bars or an abuser... That is how I would deal with it when we were younger...but over time I can see we are growing further and further apart. And now I can't even speak my own mind without repercussions. Please take a good look at what you and Russel really have. If you can not get him to realize how you are feeling, think seriously about getting out. It is too late for me as I gave up my career to raise his 3 sons and my one son. They needed me to be both mother and father. Now they are grown but have Nothing to do with us, they are so angry. Only my son, the oldest, is still around. My first husband was an abuser. Sometimes I feel a black eye or broken rib doesn't compare to the emotional scars I have felt for years. I was a model with a bright future. Now I am so empty. The emotional stress alone will break you down. Please don't let the same happen to you. You are young, beautiful, and have plenty of time to start fresh and new.
Dear Taylor, you are such a lovely woman and it made me sad watching your heart break yet again. And it's even sadder that you are used to this. You really don't need to deffend your husband, it's not about him being a good or a bad person, but will he ever make you happy? Is he able to? Sorry if this is too blunt, but unless you address it and answer the question, you can't move forward. I wish you the very best, and at this point the ever eluding female happiness All the best, Lianna
As an older woman and someone who has been happily married for 21 years to a successful man, my (unsolicited) advice to you is to stop comparing and contrasting your husband to somebody else's man. Doesn't your husband have qualities that you adore and admire? You should be glad your husband is the kind of man who doesn't want to go to a party right after having to go through an intervention and checking a family member into rehab. It shows character on his part, because it is an indication that he is a serious man.
You have a man who is serious, is making great money for the family, is driven to succeed in business. Be happy, Taylor. Be thankful. Smooch him up and tell him he is the best thing you've ever seen. It is a tough, difficult world we live in and those of us who have a good, solid, financially solvent husband need to be grateful. As I hear someone say in a meeting on Tuesday, "Gratitude is such a chickens**t, nickel word for a million dollar feeling."
In my opinion, you are projecting a neediness and unhappiness to your husband, which will eventually drive him away. The way to draw him toward you is to let go of him emotionally, give yourself a reality and attitude check, and go about your business by running your household. If he is cheating, then the marriage is on the rocks. If he is faithful to you, then you should back up and work on yourself. The more we grasp after this kind of guy, the more he will shy away and withdraw. When we have a neurotic need to get attention, to have a husband dance to our tune, to be adored and pampered, we will usually get the opposite reaction from him. Notice I said "we?" Thats because I made some of these same mistakes when I was a younger wife.
True intimacy is lying in bed, late at night, and talking to your husband quietly in the dark. Its listening to him tell you about whats going on with his world. It doesn't happen every night - maybe an all-nighter, talking and laying around - only happens every so often - but thats how people really connect.
From what you said about your childhood on the show, you haven't had a good example from which to learn how to be a happily married woman. Its probably not easy to find a good mentor in Beverly Hills, but you should try to find an older woman with the type of marriage you wish you had and married to the type of man you are married to and ask her to mentor you. Take it easy and fake it until you make it by being a happy wife and mother. You've got the world by the tail, so be happy.
Hang in there Taylor. Marriage is tough, and having your life broadcast on a reality show makes it 100 times tougher. I find your husband extremely puzzling but I don't think he's mean-spirited, and I wish you all the best.
Taylor, You are a very nice, attractive woman who deserves to have fun and feel appreciated. Don't apologize for your feelings. Russell does come off as an uncaring stiff who always thinks of himself and shows no interest in you. He should have gotten out of his head and danced with you at the party. He should not have ignored your advice, which turned out to be very prescient, not to buy a dog for Kennedy. You said you can't change Russell's mood -- only he can do that. Well, his failure to do it for the white party and leaving you to feel lonely and unhappy, was bad form. I wonder what you see in him.
You certainly deserve to be happy. My husband's personality seems to be very similar to Russell's, and I enjoy a fun night just like you do. Maybe he just doesn't care for your friends and that's why he doesn't have a good time. Maybe, perhaps?!?! I hope eventually you would enjoy having a good time without your husband being there. I'll be rooting for you!
Taylor, I know this might sound kind of crazy...But I am what I call a sensitive, I kind of pick up peoples emotions,(Its not always fun, people say gift but I don't know...) But anyways I feel the impression of you feeling like you do not think you deserve to be HAPPY---WITH OUT DOUBT OR QUESTION---always remember that. I hope you do. You are Fabulous, Gorgeous, and a True Lady in every sense of the word. Your life gave you crap and you made it into a compost pile and started a garden, and it is one of the most beautiful, beautiful gardens the world has had a glimpse at! Frankly I wish I could contact you less publicly about what I just said instead of writing it on here, hopefully you can delete it if you feel it is to personal to post on here. I just felt the need that I had to say that, thats kinda how it works. Blessed Be Aaron
Taylor, I think you are a fabulous mother, wife, and friend. I think many of us, including myself, can relate to the night/relationship with your husband. Those nights do not make the relationship any less meaningful and important. I love your positivity and grace on the show! xoxo
Taylor, that was the 2nd time you made me cry, you seem like such a sweet soul, I think Russell is just very pre-occupied, not everybody can have a husband like Kyle. Hang in there, I think he'll be worth it in the end.
Taylor thank you for being so honest about your relationship with Russell. We all do not have the Kyle & Mauricio marriage. Many of us women struggle and can relate to you more tham Kyle. Thank you.
Hi Taylor - Watching the show tonight, the look on your face AFTER your husband left - I so got that. Years & years ago, my hubby &I had an argument on New Years Eve of all things. I stuck to my guns & so did he. I went on to the party & he stayed home. All night I was spitting mad & all talk, but as time ticked on, I got this creepy feeling. So at 10 minutes until midnight, I raced home as fast as I could & when I got there, he was in his car backing out of the driveway to come to me too... So (this sounds sappy!) we we got our kissy kissy in at midnight & we realized we weren't going to have fun on a night that was meant to be spent together washed the original fight away. Your blog says you need to speak your mind more. No disrespect to Russell, but I think you are speaking it subtly, with true looks of disappointment that are as loud and clear as if you were shouting it from the rooftops! I don't think it's sinking in for him (and i'm not just talking about this party - that's one day in life). You two are like two ships passing in the night - but it looks like neither of you want that or know how to meet in the middle. hmm... you need to tear him away from all the BS - and I don't mean some over the top fluffy expensive plan with too many expectations to be let down. If it means a simple bed and breakfast w/no distractions and no mega $$$ driving it. Bare bones snuggy real world place to talk and remember who you were before all the stress. You have a girl you both adore and a life that should be the top of the world. Maybe him watching the season, he'll see that you don't need parties and him to dance, you just need him first. The rest will follow. Not an insult at all because I see it every day - he is the picture of the STRESSES of life. Maybe having to worry about paying for $69K birthday parties adds to the stress level??!
Taylor, I understand how things do not always translate entirely from your real, private, everyday life and onto the short segments we see on the tv screen, edited down for viewers' entertainment. However, I just want to remind you of something that has become clear to me after watching week to week: You are beautiful inside and out. I see this in the way you help those less fortunate than you and continually put others before yourself. These are the reasons you deserve to be truly happy. I hope things are going better for you now, because even those living in modest conditions are capable of achieving happiness as long as they are with people that love and support them. Best Regards.
Taylor, my sister has been married 30 years to a man who doesn't like attending functions. He always sits in the corner at family gatherings, always wants to leave early and sometimes doesn't come at all. She made herself miserable trying to change him. It didn't happen. She's learned to have a good time without him and is no longer affected by his introverted personality. I feel your sadness but Russell is not going to change. Make your own happiness. You don't need him to go to parties with you or stay there. I think you make yourself miserable when you compare your relationship with others and their spouses. If you stay with Russell, accept him for who he is and get your emotional fulfillment elsewhere.
Thank you, Taylor, for being on the show. You seem like a sweetheart and very real. With you it seems to not be all about the lifestyle but about real life things, like the episode when you revealed your past and your honesty about your marriage and the differences between you and your husband. I hope all stays well and that you and Russell are able to take time with each other to really make it work.
Taylor, It seems you get grief for standing by your husband and marriage. I think it is a good thing. Actually as I have watched there have been a couple of episodes where he was talking to the men and seemed interested in how to make things better. (When the guys were all out together for one.) He may be different than the other men in showing his feelings but he seems to care. (I KNOW I wouldn't know. But it appears this way to me.) I wish ya'll the best!
Sugar-coating or trying to rationalize away the reality that a relationship has lost its intimacy (not just in the bedroom) and connection is not the way to fix it. You can choose to be the long-suffering wife, or you can choose to take a pro-active stance and let your voice be heard. You are no longer a child at the mercy of an abusive relationship. You are a grown woman and a mother, and your daughter deserves better than to see you being neglected, dismissed, ignored, and not loved the way I think you want to be loved. Russell is not your father, he's your partner. You are not at his mercy, you are his wife and the mother of his child. A certain lifestyle is not a replacement for love, and I think you're paying too high a price for your lifestyle. If this was the arrangement between you two, then you have to take responsibility for being an active participant in your situation. If this was not the case, then know that no one will love you the way you want to be loved, if you don't love yourself in that manner and demand nothing less from your partner. All the best to you.
Darling Taylor you looked amazing and your emotion brought tears to my old eyes. You wear you heart on your couture sleeves and you show America that Marriage isn't perfect and living in Beverly Hills isn't perfect either. You bridge the gap and I love watching you. Best wishes to you this new year!
P.S. You always dress so well!!! Fashion Goddess!
Taylor, I was really disappointed with your behavior at the white party. Unlike Kyle and Mauricio who have similar personal styles and tastes, you and Russell are opposites. Russell is basically a socially awkward introvert who is most comfortable when operating within his own intellectual/business realm. You married a rich geek, he married a beautiful social butterfly. You both had to know that going in, so deal with it. You shouldn’t complain about him not being the life of the party or discuss him with people who don’t know or understand him. That is really unfair. Obviously he doesn’t dance or can’t dance, doesn’t drink that much. YOU are the social one. You say that you want romance, but that would involve you paying attention to HIM, not everyone else around. Face it, YOU left him to fend for himself at the party. That wasn’t romantic or even very kind. You brought him into your circle. Those were your friends. It was your job to make him feel included. Grab him, hug him, dance all around him and let him and everyone know that he’s your guy and you‘re crazy about him. Instead, you stand back and watch him isolating himself. That’s what shy people do, duh!!! What, you were expecting him to magically turn into Mauricio or Paul and make the first move? Not going to happen and that’s really okay. Yes, Mauricio is cute and he and Paul are fun and seem to love their wives, but both tend to look at other women a bit too appreciatively if you ask me. Would you really prefer that? I don’t think so. At least Russell only has eyes for you. There are a lot more important things in life than dancing and partying. Russell got the really hard part down. You can help him with the small stuff. Never compare your man negatively with another. Be happy with what you have and build on that, don’t tear it down with petty discontent. You and Russell need to go on vacation ALONE together to reconnect. And always kiss your man good-bye when he heads out the door. Make sure he leaves knowing that he has a loving home to return to.
You had such a sad face at the party. You say you left because you didnt feel like having fun without Russell being there. But it didnt look like much fun either when he was there with you. . . . You seem stuck between not wanting to be with Russell and a fear of not being with Russell. Maybe the fear is about how you would survive financially if you werent married to him?
Taylor you said "I should have just gone home with him because after he left, I wasn't in the mood to have fun without him". However you weren't having any fun with him. Your current blog sounds like you are in a different place. I do wish you the best, however if you're in denial about how lonely you truly are you will continue to be miserable in your marriage.
Taylor you are one of my favorite housewives. You are so pretty on the outside and the inside. I have a husband that is very much like yours. We have been together 15 yrs and I have learned to accept this is just the way he is. BUT that does not stop me from having my fun with my girlfriends. If that was me at the white party - I would have kissed him as he got in the limo and then I would have partied my butt off. You and your husband will find a happy medium in time. I wish the best for you and your family.
Your husband is handsome and polite. It is obvious from the show that he is shy. He looks a little uncomfortable around large groups--he's probably one of those people who is more comfortable working or just chilling at home. I do not know why you(and your friends) are constantly criticizing him.
Hi Taylor, Your a very sweet woman, vivacious and full of life. I married married a man whos like Russell. Ive managed to stay married 30 years. Like Lisa, I married my husband after only knowing him 4 months. If were at a party and I'm not ready to go home, which has been many times. He goes his way, I stay. Youre the fun one. Have a good time with your friends and don't worry about Russell. That's why we as women need our girlfriends. Youre very blessed to have them. You're blessed to have Russell too. He's a good guy, he's just not into socializing, as you are. The two of you can do still have a happy fullfilling marriage. I hope all is well with you and Russell. I wish you a long and happy marriage. Just roll with it. Youre a beautiful woman, with an adorable little girl, and a nice husband. If it were me, I saw my husband not enjoying himself at a party that I was having a blast, I would want him to leave, as to not ruin my good time. As soon as my husband would go home, he'd put up his feet, read a book, or watch TV. I'm sure Russell did the same thing. Life is to short to worry so much. It saddened me to see you so unhappy.
Hmm...I always make a list of pro's and con's...You are a beautiful woman, who cares for her family. People do not change...maybe w. therapy. I would rather (be what I am now after divorcing hub #1 for cheating with my BF) and I am happy! Hubbt=y no#2 loves my kids, does his own laundry and more...$$$$ do not = happiness
Taylor you need to check if Russel has Aspergers. He displays a lot of those symptoms. Its not like he does anything out of anger or a place of control and you cant quite put your finger on whats wrong. Once you understand what the Asperger man is like...you can stop fretting about those little things and enjoy life. If he is an Aspy then he doesnt get it like other people do...social ackwardness etc. It took ages but now that I know my husby is one...i can deal with the weird stuff easier and not get angry like I had. Check into it...