Well, our season has come to an end and in true housewives fashion, we went out with a bang, followed by a few shouts, and no shortage of tears. I felt sad watching the episode and realizing our journey was coming to a close with so many unresolved feelings and so much hurt.
I have had the best of times with the ladies, and also more sleepless nights than I care to recall. We have supported one another and hurt one another, and for my part in the latter, I have regrets. I regret that Kim and I got off to a bad start and that it has continued to loom over our relationship throughout the season.
I often wonder if we would have had a nice first meeting in Sacramento, if things would have been different for us. At my birthday party, my intention was to sit down next to her (when I asked her friend for a moment with her) and have a talk about how I felt and what went wrong. When Kim stood up as opposed to my sitting down, I knew things were going to go badly. I could tell Kim wasn't in the "mood" for a heart to heart. Lisa felt it was important for me to sort it out with Kim, but in retrospect, I should have said no and left it alone. Sometimes Kim says things she doesn't mean (as do I) and with her, I really don't understand where some of the content comes from. She is unpredictable but, that's as much as I care to say about that. On occasion, you meet a person with whom you don't seem to "click" and that, in my opinion, is what happened with Kim and I. We both had our guard up from the beginning and the results weren't favorable. I wish Kim all the best and hope we can put our pointless bickering behind us.
I regret telling Camille in New York how I found it odd that Kim was talking to me in the airport (after previously avoiding me in Sacramento). I regret it not because there was something wrong with me sharing my feelings with Camille about my personal experience with Kim, but because the mention of the word "insecure" (for a second time, after she heard it in Kyle’s apology just prior) led Camille to feel there was a consensus forming amongst the group that she was "insecure." Lisa had told me that Camille said she felt "invisible" or "insignificant" (I still can't get that straight!) being married to a celebrity. I had never seen Camille with Kelsey at that point nor had we ever discussed her "invisibility", "insignificance," or "insecurity" so, I was only answering Kim's questions based on what I was told. In any event, my comments were about my experience with Kim and were certainly never meant to stir any pot or cause any additional arguing between Kyle and Camille. That was a nightmare for us all and for whatever part my comment played in it, I regret it and apologize.
As Russell and I celebrated my birthday, we were also preparing to leave for Mexico. We had a tough year and we really needed some place quiet to talk about our relationship, and how to overcome the challenges we were facing. We were married in Mexico, and we spent wonderful times there when we were first dating and later as a family. We decided that was the place to return to in order to give our marriage the attention it deserved. The trip wasn't like the others we had taken. It was sad at times and the discussions weren't easy, but, in the end, we decided to do the necessary work to keep our marriage and family together and to make each other happy. For that, I am so incredibly grateful.
As for little Snowball and my precious daughter, Kennedy, they are both healthy and happy. Snowball is living with a friend who has a female Maltese as well (Snowball's girlfriend). We have a new Chihuahua in our home named Jax. Kennedy doesn't show any signs of allergies to Jax and she holds her constantly. My little girl is growing so fast and watching the footage of her makes me realize how much she has changed since you last saw her. She is amazing and I feel incredibly blessed to be her mommy.
I hope you have enjoyed our journey. Although you are no longer watching, our lives and relationships continue to evolve. I will continue to share pieces of my life through Twitter, Facebook, and my website.
I care for each of the ladies and am thankful to have them as a part of my life. I have learned a great deal about myself this year and have grown tremendously from this experience. Thank you for sharing you time with us and for watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
All my best to you, x