Ten Really Quick Observations From a Beverly Hills Housewife Whose Three Boys Are Showing Off Their Post-Halloween Candy High At This Very Moment. . .
1. Yes, I used moisturizing hand soap on the chicken. Even if Lisa didn't appreciate it, I'm sure the chicken did. At least my chicken won't be dry. . .
2. While Estella looks even more beautiful now post-surgery, seeing her bandaged up post-op probably wasn't the best thing to watch on Halloween night. There were a few kids at my Halloween party last night with hockey masks on, and I can't say they looked any different.
3. I wonder if Estella would have to leave the room if she saw Kyle with that microdermabrasion facial mask on from last season?
4. I'm a mother, so while camels might be very "Arabian Nights" at a party, the song "Sally The Camel" kept playing through my head. Come on, I know you moms out there were thinking the same thing.
5. Leave it to Paul to complain about the mattress in a room made for seduction. Apparently Tempur-Pedic does more for Paul than Victoria's Secret. He probably thinks cutting off the mattress tags is dangerous and sexy too.
6. Paul, even if you do manage to set up someone with your operating room matchmaking skills, I will never refer to you as the Love Doctor. Ever. Keep dreaming honey.
7. Love the way Paul can call Mark Wahlberg during surgery, but for whatever reason when I am trying to reach him it's "don't bother me while I'm in surgery!" Totally busted, Paul. Next time he tries to get a hold of me during a board meeting, he's gonna be S.O.L.
8. At this moment, Paul wishes he had a blog because he wants to refute all of this. These are the moments when I'm really glad he isn't officially the seventh Housewife and he doesn't have a blog. I finally get to say things and he doesn't get to talk back! Maybe all women should blog, we'll finally be able to get the last word in. . .
9. I'm not showing my boys any pictures of the tent Mohammed created in his house for Pandora's party. I don't want them to get any ideas that their forts need to look like that. It's bad enough I'm always missing all of our bedsheets. . .
10. Congrats to Pandora -- I wish her and Jason all the best!
P.S. Jackpot and Visco went as Paul and I for Halloween last night. Jackpot wore hair tinsel and a gold wig, while Visco wore scrubs and had a pooper scooper dangling from his neck. They bickered over who would get the most treats, whose costume looked better, and who was making the bigger mess. I think for the first time Visco was the one who whined more for attention. Go figure.