Can't believe we are here again, beginning another season already! So much has happened that I am not even sure where to begin, but like I was always taught growing up -- you just have to buckle down and find someplace to start.
As everyone knows, it's been an extremely difficult and challenging off-season for all of us, obviously for no one more so than Taylor. When we began this journey on this show, I think all of us expected to have some ups and downs, and we knew it would be hard to see some parts of our lives play out on TV. Of course, nothing we imagined could even compare to the reality of losing one of our own to suicide.
I know there has been a lot of debate in the media about whether or not the season should go on, and if so, then how much of Taylor and Russell's struggle should be shown. I can only speak for myself when I say that I felt that out of the worst of situations, we had a chance to actually do something positive -- and that's to really confront and expose the epidemic of suicide. The more I learned about just how many people we lose each year to this tragic epidemic, the more convinced I became that we had to create awareness of how to talk about suicidal thoughts, how to reach out for help and how to prevent this from happening in the first place. I learned that suicide is the third leading cause of death amongst our youth -- so why aren't we talking about this more? Too often in these cases, suicidal people are embarrassed about their thoughts, and families coping with the resulting loss feel like it is their fault they lost someone in this way -- so the subject is hidden or danced around. Is it painful and uncomfortable to watch? Yes. But this is the reality we are facing. We are watching our lives in hindsight just as you are. We're looking for clues as to what was to come, just like you are. It's a process of grieving and understanding -- and it doesn't get more real than this.
Thank you so much to those of you who have stood by this cast and this show -- we really do appreciate all of your support.
That being said, we opened this season with the dinner party at my house, and what was supposed to be a "mending of the broken fences" dinner turned out to be a lot more tense than expected. Paul and I had long planned to spend some time that day not only getting things ready for our party, but also to go over some things that needed our attention -- the boys' schedules and some schooling decisions, some business-related decisions that had to be made etc. Just normal household stuff. I had been working so hard on getting my shoe line going, and on dealing with some critical decisions about our basketball team, and Paul had been slammed with both his practice and the growth of his frozen yogurt chain that we hadn't had any time to just connect. Schedules are crucial in our house, and it's so important we stick to them so that we get the family time we need, too. So when Paul went golfing without telling me that day, I became irritable. I felt like he had blown off something that was important to me. You saw the results of that play out at the party. Should I have let it get to me in front of my guests? No, and for that I did apologize. It was a perfect example of being mad about one thing and letting it affect other areas of your life. Paul and I did talk about it later, and I think the best any couple can do is to try and handle things differently the next time.
Funny note -- when I was decorating that dinner table with the olive branches, my son asked me why I was putting "trees" on the table. I told him it was a sign of peace, or "not fighting." He duly informed me that when knights stop fighting and have dinner, they put their swords on the table so "maybe you could put swords on there." Good thing I didn't go that route with the décor, huh? The visuals on what that would have looked like just keep giving and giving. . .
Camille's place in Colorado was absolutely gorgeous. It was a case of planes, trains, and limousines to get there, but all that fresh air and the stunning views made up for it. Plus, it gave me a chance to pull out all the winter weather boots that I've been accumulating (I tell everyone that buying shoes is "research" for my shoe line, but no one seems to believe me). It was nice to see this past episode and see everyone really trying to get along -- I think it's so empowering to see women supporting each other, and it is how it actually is in my very closest friendships. I don't think anyone can call a spade a spade like a true girlfriend.
There's so much more in store for all of you this season, and despite it all there are even some very funny moments to come. This season had tragedy, but it also shows us taking on whole new chapters in our lives. For me personally, I can't wait for you to see what it took to launch this first shoe collection, and the cameras were there for much of it. There's all the glitz and glamour you'd expect (and more, I promise.)
So buckle up your stilettos, it’s going to be a wild ride.