Welcome back, viewers! First off, my apologies for not writing a blog last week. There were some technical glitches and some scheduling problems, so it just didn't happen.
But here I am, so let's dig in!
Brandi's party: Where to begin? Brandi hosted the party at a friend of hers' beachside home in Malibu with a spectacular view of the Pacific. Sounds great, right? Visually, yes. Logistically, it was quite the challenge. It was a very small house that naturally has lots of windows to enjoy the view. However, windows are a pain in the TV world. During the day, it means the light coming in is constantly changing. At night, it proves to be one big mirror, so for the crew, it was a constant challenge to find angles in which they were not reflected.
Now, as for what happened at Brandi's party. . .We all know now how Taylor's marriage ended. But at this point in time of our shooting schedule, we had no idea what would happen. Anyone who has had a friend or relative in a stormy relationship realizes that no matter how much advice anyone gives, the marriage isn't over until the people in it make that decision.
Watching Taylor in this episode breaks my heart.
We all have to honor other peoples pain and hurt, and try to understand their anguish. I have learned that from my own life experiences.
Thank you for your blog with your insight into Taylor's meltdown, however may I give my perspective. Normally people with that type of secret don't sign onto a reality show. I'm always stunned at how reality stars are surprised when their personal news leaks out, such as Bethenny's pregnancy, Taylor's marriage, Theresa's bankruptcy, etc. Even if we make our "help" swear not to talk, we are still a bunch of gossipers and things will leak out. Why put yourself in that position if you really want to keep it a secret? I think there's better ways to do it - that's all I'm saying. Thanks.
Dave, Your empathy for Taylor is touching. I have a lot of gay friends and many of them experienced what you went through. No one should ever have to hide who they are. However, it seems that Taylor was not hiding her abuse from her friends, just the TV audience. Lisa and Camille graciously offered her sanctuary in their own homes. If she truly thought that she and her daughter were in danger, she would have taken it. I realize that abuse is often a complicated issue, but Taylor's situation seems contrived to draw attention. It is very sad.
Dave, let me first say, I missed your blog last week, and I totally agree with what you're saying. When one has to hide something, whether it be a secret, or feelings they have for someone, or their true selves, it will literally eat you alive inside if you don't just face the facts, buck up and speak your mind. When you do, it's like a ton of bricks has been taken off your shoulders. Sometimes, people don't like what you have to say, but honesty is always the best policy. Thanks for blogging.
I really like Brandi. She did a great job at organizing the event and her friends were interesting I loved the beach house party idea. It was different and even thought we have seen housewives belly dancing before, it was better than a lesson proposed to Kyle and repeated by Lisa to Kim.
I can understand the support that Bravo has for Taylor, but I hope she is not in the show next year. Taylor sucks the fun out of every occassion and we on the prairie have hard times and want to enjoy our journey into Beverly Hills and their reality.
I think Dana and Kim are also strangers passing in the night and should get the Bravo boot.
More White Parties and less Taylor drama,
Dave, it was great seeing you were from Ossian. I live in Decatur and know Heyerly's bakery very well. Their daughter was actually a therapist for my youngest son at one time. It's nice to find out that someone from our little "neck in the woods" has made it!! Congrats to you. Love the show!!
Dave- I've spent a lot of time at the section of the beach in Malibu where you filmed this, so I understand what you mean by the logistics problem. I was immediately thinking- where are they parking the trucks or whatever vehicles used for filming? And all the limos? Parking is at a premium on that road!! I think you probably had to drop off and park down the road at the shopping center or by the bank.
Your point about secrets is so true- the keeping of a secret will surely bring you down much faster than the revealing of it. So glad to hear you got past that issue in your own life. I have reservations on why Taylor was keeping the secret though. She is so focused on living the high life that it seems this is what she was afraid of losing. I disagree with anyone who puts their own desires above that of their children's safety. If, however, Russell was such a tremendous threat, then it seems like the child's safety is even more of a concern and leaving should be a priority. I have tremendous sympathy for the death of a father and husband, these things are hard to bear and difficult to get past.
It distresses me to hear Taylor is already putting out a book on this experience- something doesn't seem right about doing that so soon. To quiet the people who think I am speaking out of turn- I have been in a situation of abuse and I was cut off from everyone I know AND I was a great distance from everyone I know (an ocean away). I still took the abuse for a period of time, and then decided I am leaving no matter what I had to do, so I did. Staying meant someone (me or him) was going to die- no children were involved, but things were not good. It cost me a lot of $$ (mine), but I knew this was the smartest course of action and it was not easy. This person still contacted me when I arrived back in my home area and a year later wanted to come for a visit- I have never allowed him to be anywhere near me. Now I had the backup of my friends and he knows that. He is still on this earth somewhere and I will always be fearful of him and his influence. He is one of the "charmers". I vow never again to allow myself to be manipulated in this fashion. And I don't go around doing that to others either- I see Taylor's behavior going down that road. It's all about "her"- no matter who else is there. She did find her voice, and maybe she's not afraid to use it, but she doesn't know HOW and when yet. This is why I think she should be keeping a very low profile- she needs much more time to heal.
On other note, I hope Brandi will be on the show from now on- she is a breath of fresh air!! Thanks for the opportunity to blog. xx
But here's the thing. Taylor didn't keep it a secret. She told all of these women and who knows who else. Taylor is clearly an alcoholic and has been drunk onscreen this season about as many times as she's been sober. And now she's prostituting herself on the network for a New Years Eve date. Harsh? probably. True? definately. Ramona doesn't have anything on these women. Forget Turtle time, at least that was in fun and harmless.
And what's the deal with Kyle? She's like some child star (but what did she star in) that can't stand the camera on anyone else, so she will even do splits to get attention.
Brandi was right to stop the action and ask Taylor to leave. Dana should have done it with the Richards sisters when they hid Brandi's crutches.
And don't get me started on Dana. What a rude woman.
We on the east coast enjoy this rich fantasy life. I think you should send Vicki and the countess to BH to set some folks straight on how to treat people
dave, i know too much about keeping secrets. from molestation to rape to drug abuse to melt downs and i find it hard to watch taylor losing it in every episode this season. i also feel for kim and hope these ladies can find peace for the sake of their children. you cant tell a 5 year old that mommy is being abused but they are able to recognize signs of unhappiness and often times they search for reasons to blame themselves. good luck to you all
I know this isn't the sort of comment you could print, but I just wanted to thank you and the Bravo people for demonstrating that not all corporate entities are heartless and revenue obsessed. I just read that Bravo was involved in getting Kim Richards back into rehab. I know that none of you caused her addictive behavior and it is she who will need to find the strength to stand up to these demons every day for the rest of her life, but it was wonderful that you used what leverage you had to persuade her to get help. I pray that she will remain there as long as necessary and then not isolate herself when she gets out. You are an amazing bunch!
I would hope that your moral compass would overtake the need to stay silent and remain as "a fly on the wall." If Camille's confession put Taylor in a life or death situation like Taylor claims, I'm slightly disgusted that the producers did not contact Taylor and make it clear that the last bit of the tea party footage would NOT have made it to air. The tea party has enough movement and drama to sustain without adding the last bit in about abuse. Taylor was going crazy because of the fear of what would happen to her when the show aired. I get that producers do not get involved but there is a breaking point where you have to intervene for the safety of the cast members. For example, and this is just an example, if a cast member was visibly drunk and got in his/her car to drive home, would you step in?
I thought this franchise was going to be fun, light, and glamorous. However, between Taylor and Kim's very serious issues.. its a bit of a debbie downer. Let's hope for happier days if there is a season three.
I am glad to hear you stick up for Taylor. So often in the comment sections of these blogs, people are really tough on her. While I am not necessarily a huge Taylor fan, I do know that secrets can tear away at people's souls, and make them unrecognizable to even themselves. I can't wait to see Taylor as she begins to heal. Keep up the good work!
okay...I thought the beach house was beautiful. Why do I care if you had a tough time filming in it? Weird. It was a much classier event then Dana's.Taylor should not be on television. She is crazy. I know she was/in a tough spot but she should have left for her daughters sake if what she is saying is true about Russell. She needs to take some responsibility in this mess. We will never know. Its not fair to Russell or his family to show this.
Since this is her third breakdown (and party ruining) in a short time, shouldn't she have been pulled from filming? It seems cruel to continue to have her on film behaving like this. She's not about to backout herself, but this is where those who care for her need to step in and set limits for her. She's definately in no state to fix her own problems. Especially on film.
You should get rid of Dana and add Linda Thompson to the group. I absolutely LOVED watching her. She cracked me up!
Is it my imagination, or does Lisa seem to be distancing herself from the other wives? Of course, she was planning her daughter's wedding during the filming, but she hasn't been very involved this season.
Moving on, domestic violence is a terrible problem all over the world, but I can understand how Camille lost it during Lisa's tea party! Every time there is a get together with the wives, Taylor goes into meltdown, but when the wives offer sympathy or suggestions, she acts appalled.
Great blog, Dave! It's obvious that the RHOBH crew works overtime with these fabulous (most of the time) ladies! Just wondering why the scene with Adrienne telling the women that 'Lisa stirs the pot..etc.' was excluded from last night's ep. It was in the season preview and I waited for it given the inevitable Maloof/Vanderpump quarrel. Include in future ep/reunion/or dvd?
No one at the time knew what was to happen. Hindsight is 20/20. The fact that in previous episodes when all the women were in a rescuer "let me help you" mode towards Taylor, she continued to ignore any help and continually played the victim. She did not want help, she wanted an audience and she got it at a price. Her actions were totally without concern for others and totally egocentric. I hope she is seeking professional help now.
Thank you for finally addressing an important dynamic to Taylor's behavior-Keeping it all a secret. Besides the DV, the SECRET is emotionally exhausting and prevents a person from thinking clearly because they are so hypervigilant about the secret. Yes, there are many reasons people keep secrets, as you stated, and I think you did a great job making the connections so that most people can now empathize with what caused Taylor's pressure. Again, Thanks.
Okay Dave at least this time around, I partially agree with you. If you have something that you want kept secret...you do anything to keep that secret. The only problem with your logic is that Taylor was telling EVERYONE about her secret! I even heard Faye Resnick say that Taylor had discussed it with her as well. So I guess when you tell all who will listen and then blame Camille for letting the cat out of the bag...that is called crazy. Dave, you are not a very smart person. You fit in well though!
Thank you so much, you are one of the few that seem to "get it". when it comes to Taylor. I am surprised and ashamed at the comments of some of the women who have commented on some of the blogs. Even after we now know some of the details about Taylor's marriage and her husband's subsequent passing; they still seem as if they need an explaination about her mental status. It must have been hard on her and you the people who had to work through this rough time with her. My heart hurts for her daughter and his family too. Thank you so much for your kind heart and also for sharing your thoughts with us. Thank you.
hmmm... Taylor hinted to all these ladies last season that there were problems in her marriage as most do. But am I the only one seeing this from a different perspective. I think before agreeing to do this show... she may not of had very many female friends and her most important role was being a wife and mother. Once filming began on season one... it opened her eyes to a whole new world and one that she very much wanted to be a part of. Because Russell appears to be a more private person and somewhat of a fish out of water around new people she became unhappy with her life and wanted more! If what Taylor is saying about her marriage and Russell were true, I think her speech last season for abuse victims would have been much more emotionally charged, instead of the fake crocodile tears. I also don't believe an abusive husband would allow his wife to join a cast of women on a popular reality tv show aired to ALL the public! Abused wives just do not have this kind of control. It is my opinion and I have a lot of them:) that while this relationship may have been abusive... it was two sided. Between Taylors own threats of physical violence and her emotional unstability... I have to wonder if she was the victim she claims to be. I think the reason Taylor was upset with Camille's statement is because she knew her husband was going to hear what she has been telling these ladies and she was going to lose everything she had either way. I hear Taylor is writing a book... will she give her daughter a copy on her 18th birthday? Russel was a man who cared about his reputation and what other people thought of him and this was just too much to bear. On a more positive note... Camille is great this season and been humbled. I appreciate a person who can learn from their mistakes and make the proper changes. We are ALL a work in progress. I also really enjoy Brandi as most of us can relate to her. She may be a little rough around the edges but she also has class and great insight. Maybe you can replace Kim with Brandi next year! As for Dana... well there's not much to say there.
Dave, I don't care if this comment gets posted publicly as long as someone in your staff reads it.
RHOBH is the ONLY housewives franchise I watch or, frankly, have any interest in. However, there are reasons. This show has (well, had) several unique aspects that distinguish it from the low-class antics of say Atlanta or New Jersey. I realize that the trashy stuff draws audiences but that's not why I watched this show. Last season there was drama but there was class. I see what you are doing by trying out someone like Brandi - who is clearly popular with Atlanta and Jersey viewers - but whenever she's on the show devolves from what made it special last season. As you continue to decide where to go with this next season, bear in mind why people like me chose to watch BEVERLY HILLS and no other franchises, and the gains/losses in viewership associated with this disappointing change in direction. It's your choice to go in the Brandi/Jersey direction, but people like me won't be joining you.
Hi Dave Dedra shouldn't have been on Taylor's face cornering her when she was obviously having a nervous breakdown. Also, it was none of her business. Is it true that Camille financially supports her? Maybe that would explain why she did Camille's dirty work. I don't like Brandi and Dana. I hope they won't be back next season.
If Taylor's abuse was a secret, why did she tell everyone of the ladies about it. Also the show aired after Russell passed away, so it didn't matter that it was filmed. Please get rid of Taylor Kyle nd Kim because they suck all of the energy out of the room.
I am so confused about something, and am wondering if you can offer some answers/insight. Why was Taylor afraid of Russell finding out what Camille said at Lisa's Tea Party? In the limo on the way to Adrienne's fashion show, she admitted to Russell that she was anxious about running into Camille. What is it that Russell thought she was talking about? I just don't understand. I feel that I speak for many when I say that the cover was blown in episode 2, when the subject was brought up at dinner when Taylor had her first meltdown of the season in Colorado (although it was slightly veiled.) As a viewer, I knew exactly what the ladies were referring to at that dinner when they were asking each other if they would stick around if their significant others ever put a hand on them. It was obvious. So why all the anger at Camille? Why all of this fear toward Russell, especially when he seemed to be privy to it all in the limo ride.
All questions aside, I enjoyed this blog. I can relate to having a secret of great magnitude and it reminds of the saying, "we're only as sick as our secrets."
okay so it is clear that the women on the show are counselors and unless you have someone teach you about DV then you're not going to know what it is, what it looks like, what to do for the people dealing with it...
So I have a question.. - Why is Kim on the show when she barely comes out...I understand she has he own issues but I do think that for the benefit of the show it would be nice to have people who's issues could be on the show..because clearly all the women have issues... request also... - Please don't bring Dana back I don't think I can continue to watch it with her. She is not adding anything to the show and she only proves that some women never grow up..They'll always follow the other girls and kiss their behind no matter what they say...
It's clear Taylor is emotionally immature, stunted in fact from events much earlier in her life. Antics such as let's all gang up on Lisa at Lisas own home and running out to continue to plead her case to anyone who will listen. Ridiculous. This type of behavior isn't on the radar for the ladies of Beverly hills or their respective viewers. It's such a distraction from the good stuff that could be interestingbon this show. Unfortunately we get the screaming, crying histrionics of one misplaced maladjusted woman. Go to your room Taylor, and come out when you can behave and be respectful to others. My kids are in bed! I want to watch something good at least!
HI there- Taylor is way to emotionally unstable and immature to be on this show. It seems every episode she is having some kind of breakdown or fight! Its nerve racking to be honest! Dana..Geez..PLEASE do NOT bring her back either. She seems nice but she is ultra annoying and flashing her money the way she does is classless.
Where is Kim and why do you all still have her on the show?
BRANDI- I love her and I cant say it enough. She would be an awesome addition and she will teach Kyle and others how to respect others! They all need to learn how to bring in new friends!
It is sad to hear you ever had a moment of pain in your life because of being gay. A friend of my daughters who I love dearly told me about his thoughts of suicide when he was growing up. His sadness and loneliness of being gay and not being able to embrace his life almost ended his life. Personally, I could not imagine life without such warm, loving sincere person. It takes only a moment to say or do the most inappropriate word or action that could destroy a human being. People need to work harder at accepting each other for who we truly are. Fortunately, he has gone on with his life finding a relationship and living in a place where his sexuality is not a concern.