Cast Blog: #RHOBH

A Good Cause

Brandi is thankful that for at least one week, the gals could put their differences aside for fashion -- and charity.

My thoughts and prayers are with Taylor and her daughter.

It was great to spend some time with Kyle and actually be getting along! A lot of people are wondering if I brought up the idea of the party mainly to get a reaction out of Kyle and the answer is -- yes! I know how uptight these ladies can be, but I was pleasantly surprised by her reaction. In any event, she seems to have her man sa-tis-fied (wink wink!).

All the ladies looked amazing at Adrienne's fashion show, so that was a lot of fun to watch (I loved Camille's coat!). Seriously, I bet Adrienne even showers in those sky-high heels. Haha. The clothes in the fashion show were to die for and watching it made me really miss the excitement of runway shows (Ah, the good ole days). It was nice to see that everyone could put their drama aside for the evening and come together for a good cause.

I was determined to win Lisa over this episode so I brought a McQueen clutch to show her my love for the British. It didn't work -- back to the drawing board!

I was thrilled to bring my other friends Adrienne and Carithey, who are a ton of fun and very sweet.

Also, I am obsessed with the wedding planner Lisa hired for Pandora's wedding. He is so over the top and fab-u-lous!

Seeing the preview for next week's episode gives me a giant knot in my belly. Beware: it’s pretty intense. After waiting two hours for my guests to arrive, I may have dipped into too much Chardonnay and then World War 3 broke out. Oh my! Stay tuned!

Xx,
B

Brandi on Hypocrisy and Double Standards

Brandi thinks the other 'Wives have major double standards, and she provides plenty of examples.

Hello Bravoistas!

It’s such a great week in California. Today I’m sunny, bright, and happy.

Just had the BEST weekend with my boys, cooked great food, met great friends, and even hung with my fave Leeza Gibbons. Super happy day today--I was nominated for a Podcast Award! The future’s so bright, I have to wear shades, but before the celebration, tonight’s blog on the latest RHOBH.

Well, you fans like drama, and you got your money's worth tonight. So let’s dive in. Tonight’s blog focus: hypocrisy and double standards.

I’m going to touch on the double standards of some of our Housewives. No need to name names. If you watch, you've already seen it. Let’s compare reactions.

Hyperbole: HORRIFIC
Jaws drop in stunned horror if I reply, ”I’ll knock your teeth out” (empty words thrown out when under verbal attack on RHOBH). Admittedly, not my greatest moment, but you try putting up with some of the “ladies” of Beverly Hills (or wherever they pretend to live). I will sincerely work on other ways to get crazy people yelling in my face to back up. Anyway, it’s called hyperbole, Kyle. Yeah, smart people know what that is. Kyle, look it up.
Violence: ACCEPTABLE
I mean real violence. Digging your fingers into someone’s arm to forcibly push them out of your way or grabbing for someone’s throat in anger isn’t worthy of being condemned by the same group. No mention at all. As a matter of fact, after they regrouped and arranged their group spin, it was Kim’s and my fault that Rinna is a crazy, violent person who throws dangerous broken glass in people’s faces. You women are over half a century old. Own your behavior.

Tossing an inch of wine: HORRIFIC
Tossing an inch of wine while “play acting soap opera” was worthy of pearl clutching and disgust usually reserved for when people find a mass grave. It’s called joking, horseplay, goofing, messing around. My intent was mischief. I was playing. It was misunderstood, but it’s not in the same league as violence.

Heaving broken glass at people’s faces: ACCEPTABLE
Reaching across a table to rip someone’s throat out with your nails, hurling a full drink with ice cubes in a face, and the best of all, purposefully smashing a large wine glass as hard as you can in the direction of my and Kim’s face wasn’t discussed at all. Yep. It never happened. I didn’t dig glass out of my skin, out of my ear, spend hours in the shower trying to get shards out of my hair cutting my fingers, oh, and picking it out of my clothes, so it didn’t get in my children’s laundry later on.

Notice they skate over it entirely, except to somehow shake their heads and blame Kim and me. Back at the hotel, Dr. Rinna declares us "unhappy,” instead of herself. That’s why she lost her mind when Kim hinted at her home life. Yep. Sure. Ok.

My Cursing: HORRIFIC
They act as though they’ve never heard four-letter words in their virgin lives. They “act” shocked and disgusted at all four-letter words.
Their Cursing: ACCEPTABLE
We see them use the same exact words all the time.

Adult humor at a Yo's Dinner Party by me: HORRIFIC
Get over it. I know Babyface, and he sang my joke. Ha!
Brawling at a Yo Dinner Party: ACCEPTABLE

My Sex Talk: HORRIFIC
Their Sex Talk: ACCEPTABLE.
Rinna’s “bush,” Harrys’ fascination with “bush,” her need for oral sex? Lisa V. constantly mentioning her pink pussy, her sex life, and “balls”? Cute.

Mentioning Kyle smokes weed: HORRIFIC
File under no big deal. Most people have, including the President. If you constantly refer to the truth as “dangerous,” Kyle, maybe change the way you live.

Kyle telling the world her sister is an alcoholic: ACCEPTABLE
Humiliating Kim’s children in front of the entire world. Yeah, helpful.

Let’s savor a few moments of the drama you guys like:

Kim was a cold-steel assassin. She walked in like Eastwood, armed, silent, detached, and took her seat. Then she waited. Rinna could have talked about ANYTHING in the world, but as we all know, she has nothing else to talk about. So, Kim waited. It took about five minutes. Rinna turned her gaze on Kim and started her Dr. Rinna addiction sermon for the 100th time and BAM.
“WHY DON’T YOU HAVE A PIECE OF BREAD?” 
Glass houses, folks. That’s all I’m saying. Glass houses.

Note Kim didn’t expose any of Rinna’s secrets. Kim only lets it be known that she COULD. All I’m saying is that if I had nothing to hide, I wouldn’t be trying to claw out someone’s throat, knocking chairs over, and breaking glasses at Yolanda’s dinner parties. Would you?

Other things you may have noticed tonight:

Eileen bent out of shape that Rinna made a peace pact with Kim. Looks like someone broke ranks to cover her ass. So, where would that leave superior Eileen if she couldn’t talk about Kim or me? Talking down to her husband? Picking a tomato? *yawn*

Kyle’s narcissism should be addressec, but I don’t have enough time. It’s a topic worthy of its own thesis. Me, my, and I are Kyle’s favorite three words, but let’s focus on tonight only. Special shout-out for not only failing to verbally defend your own sister but for not physically shielding your sister from physical, flying glass or even waiting to see if she had been hurt. 100% self-preservation in action, folks. Special mention for crying about how Rinna’s crying affected you more than Rinna. Kyle, you might be a narcissist if EVERYTHING that happens to everyone else is about you.

Lisa R. lying to everyone that “she has been very open,” and that she never talked to everyone about Kim behind Kim’s back was comedy gold. Comedy gold.

Oh, to have traveled to beautiful Amsterdam with only Yo and Kim. So much happened there that was also nice. Yolanda planned a wonderful trip. We all got to meet Yo’s mother, Ana, and brother, Leo, see her small town of Papendrecht, ride bikes, visit windmills, try incredible food, and learn more about Yo’s life before she left Holland to become a model. Yo’s brother is so smart and funny and cool, I wish you could have met him. Amsterdam is a fabulous place to visit with family and friends who really care about you. I was there 20 years ago when I was modeling in Europe and truly loved it.

The trip continues next week…

Ok, I’m going back to my sunny day, homework, my boys, and groceries.

Til next week, Bravo fans…

XOXO,

B

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