Before the party I was really looking forward to spending time with the girls. Brandi had wanted to get all of us together for a nice girls' night. I was excited about getting to know Brandi and her friends better. I didn't anticipate any major conflict with seeing Taylor at the party. Even though I wasn't sure how she was going to react, enough time had gone by that I thought we could bury the hatchet.
Obviously, this episode was very difficult to view. Watching Taylor get so emotional was difficult. I felt so bad for her. She was in a lot of pain, and I didn't realize at the time the severity of her situation.
That evening was especially challenging because Taylor had obviously distanced herself from me. As I saw her pain, I empathized with her because I had gone through so much pain myself over the last year. I wanted to help, but I couldn't because she put a wall between us. It hurt that she accused me of something happening with her situation at home, but harder still was seeing Taylor in that emotional state. At that point, what was I to do? Obviously I wanted to reach out to help her, but I'm being accused of causing problems in her life. I felt that she was taking a lot of her own personal frustrations out on me. Knowing that a friend is hurting is bad enough, but I was unable to reach out and help because of that wall Taylor put between us.
Speaking of friends, Dedra got involved even though I would never ask her or willingly put her in any position to do so. When Dedra saw everything that was going on she just wanted to help. She is my best friend. She was there for me with the situation with Taylor and has been with me through everything with my divorce and my ongoing custody battle. Dedra knew in her heart that I was truly reaching out to Taylor and wanted to hopefully put this in the past. She also knew Taylor a bit and thought that we could resolve this. I thank Dedra for being such a good friend throughout the years, especially the last year and a half. We've been through so much together and she's been so supportive. Dedra got emotional that night watching Taylor's behavior towards me and thought it was unfair. That's why she came to my defense.
At one point, I remember trying to "shush" Dedra because the more Dedra pushed, it became more apparent that Taylor did not want to participate. It just exacerbated the situation and made it more volatile rather than being helpful. I know Dedra's intentions were good. I know she wanted to help and was hoping that we could have some resolution. When she saw Taylor's behavior and her feelings towards me, Dedra became protective of her friend and wanted to stick up for me. I truly appreciate what she did. Dedra and I have been through quite a year together and I know she felt for Taylor. Dedra's a very fair person. She's always been an extremely fair-minded person. She has a good heart and always means well. I feel bad she got into the mix, but she got emotional when Taylor made a few snide remarks and was being dismissive of my feelings. The big picture is that we should all help support each other with the challenges we face as women in life.I think Dedra was basically trying to say to Taylor that we both need each other right now. We shouldn't be fighting with one another. I understand Taylor was really upset with me but it was an unfortunate situation all the way around.
Then Brandi told Taylor to leave. It was sad to see Taylor breakdown and very heartbreaking to watch the scene unfold. But it was Brandi's party, and she really wanted us to come together for a fun evening. It just wasn't working out. She had the right to ask anyone to leave when things were getting out of control, as they obviously were. I thank Brandi for stepping up and trying to re-establish control that evening.
My heart broke for Taylor. All I can say is I'm very grateful that Dedra and Brandi stood by my side.
I realized the more people were trying to get Taylor and I to talk, things only got worse. We all finally realized it wasn't the right time for our conversation. If only Taylor and I had some alone time together we might have been able to talk it through. Well, things just escalated. I know I tried to reach out to Taylor but she didn't want anything to do with it.
And so I left the party with an uneasy feeling. I was disappointed. There were a lot of unsettling things said. It was just sad, the whole situation was really sad.