Before the party I was really looking forward to spending time with the girls. Brandi had wanted to get all of us together for a nice girls' night. I was excited about getting to know Brandi and her friends better. I didn't anticipate any major conflict with seeing Taylor at the party. Even though I wasn't sure how she was going to react, enough time had gone by that I thought we could bury the hatchet.
Obviously, this episode was very difficult to view. Watching Taylor get so emotional was difficult. I felt so bad for her. She was in a lot of pain, and I didn't realize at the time the severity of her situation.
That evening was especially challenging because Taylor had obviously distanced herself from me. As I saw her pain, I empathized with her because I had gone through so much pain myself over the last year. I wanted to help, but I couldn't because she put a wall between us. It hurt that she accused me of something happening with her situation at home, but harder still was seeing Taylor in that emotional state. At that point, what was I to do? Obviously I wanted to reach out to help her, but I'm being accused of causing problems in her life. I felt that she was taking a lot of her own personal frustrations out on me. Knowing that a friend is hurting is bad enough, but I was unable to reach out and help because of that wall Taylor put between us.