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Dana Wilkey

Not for the Faint of Heart

Dana explains why you've got to be tough to take game night and gives you the scoop on her new nickname.

Oct 10, 2011

Once we moved into the living room, Brandi was upset because she didn't feel included, but she wasn't exactly making an effort either. She started calling me "Pam," but not in a nice way like she was trying to have fun with me. It felt mean. Then instead of trying to be supportive in the awkward situation Kyle was in with Kim, she drew attention to it. Frankly, if you think someone has an issue with drugs or alcohol, wouldn't you want to help them or excuse their behavior instead of shining a flashlight on it? If it was me and you didn't want me on your team, I'd say, "OK, I’ll be at the bar then. . .have fun." She really was egging it on in her behavior, and I kind of looked to Kyle to make it stop because I was uncomfortable and over it. It was ruining the game! Then before I knew it things got personal. . .

Game night is not for the faint of heart!

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You where kiss Kim and Kyle A.. so much in last show. You did not come across very well, and for god sake enough with the name dropping, makes you look like you are trying to hard to show you got money. VERY SAD

Dana, You appear very fake. I really hope things change over the season and you become nicer. You are toooo focused on letting everyone know the that you own and/or wear 'nice' things. Sadly nice things don't make you a nice person. Looks like game night was a mess and not organized very well either. Better luck next time...

It's funny how you were so quick to alienate Brandi. What's even funnier is that you were too busy trying too hard to be Kim/Kyle's BFF to notice that Kyle didn't even really like you. Karma's funny... it gets you even before it knows you did something wrong.

Why is Kyle's "quick tongue and great sense of humor" okay but Brandi's isn't? Give me a break! You are just mean!

You really shouldn't have thrown in with Kyle and Kim when they were the ones who were acting bizarrely and attacking your guest. C'mon, girl, show your audience that you're stronger than that and you're not going to fall prey to the bullying mentality that so often seems to crop up at these gatherings...

I think that Brandi was very insecure and it was obvious. YOU being the host could have helped make her feel more comfortable, instead you chose to be just another catty person and join in the junior High "lets pick on her" games. And Kim, YOU and Kyle all did a very good job of being the most classless and rude housewives I've ever seen! And i watch New Jersey, Orange County and Beverly Hills. I haven't seen any one episode on ANY of these shows that tops the immaturity of you three on tonight's episode. Hopefully you all grow up and gain some maturity in dealing with people.

Maybe Brandi didn't want to excuse their behavior because it was inexcusable, same as last week's. Two weeks in a row, within 6 feet of her, they cackled and made fun of her. I wouldn't put up with that nonsense, would you? At some point, a person should not ignore blatant lack of respect. Dana, you go whatever way the wind blows and show no real character, unless you consider being part of a cauldren-stirring, bullying posse "character." What a way for a hostess to behave towards a guest who has been attacked (first) by other guests. And can you lose the designer label name dropping? It's bad form. And boring.

Weren't YOU the HOSTESS? From the blog excerpt here, you have your priorities all wrong: "If it was me and you didn't want me on your team, I'd say, "OK, I’ll be at the bar then. . .have fun." She really was egging it on in her behavior, and I kind of looked to Kyle to make it stop because I was uncomfortable and over it. It was ruining the game!"

No one should have to sit at the bar alone at someone's house during game night because two mean girls don't want her on their team. The hostess should intercede and make all her guests comfortable, not look to Kyle to "make it stop." And your discomfort and the fact that the discord was "ruining the game" should not have taken priority over how one of your guests was being treated in your own home.

If this is how you plan parties, then surely your money is inherited, not earned. This episode was the worst example of your party planning skills and if you had more sense, you would be embarrassed.

why do you care so much to brag about your purchases? it's crazy. and on national tv. otherwise, you seem pretty fun. are you nervous & just trying to fit in? it doesn't become you. i hope to see in the next episodes that you've relaxed a bit.

Hey Dana:

How stupid do you feel right about now when saw/heard Kyle bash your home and your party? You automatically took her side and threw your guest - Brandi, under the bus! How sad, I really started liking you too.

Regardless of how much you may dislike someone, once you invite them as guest into your home, you must treat them with respect; otherwise, don't invite them! Hopefully, you feel sufficiently stupid about the whole incident.

-Elizabeth

Pam- I actually cannot get over how rude you were to Brandi when clearly everyone was ganging up on her at game night. You invited her into your home and then join in with the "mean girls" Kyle & Kim? Wow, remind me not to come to your parties.

As the hostess, take some responsibility for the spiral. Watching the show, it was clear Brandi was being alienated and bullied. She could have handled it with more reserve, but let's face it: Kim's behavior was beyond bizarre and Kyle jumped into the enabler role quickly. Kim was actually cruel and mean. I don't blame Brandi for being assertive. You all act like you're so above it all, and yet, Kyle and Kim are Mean Girls, Taylor is a fragile and off her rocker, and you are a phoney.

Hi Pam......I mean, Dana! I so like you. Gosh, I felt for you. You were trying hard to make everyone comfy. So what if you went overboard. The Only reason anyone noticed is because they And we the viewers have all done the Same.....try harder than needed. I frankly love that you went above and beyond.....a kind trait.

Confused on how you turned Kyle and Kim's treatment around to be Brandy's fault. I liked you all the way until you joined in with the other girls in ganging up on her. Regardless if you liked Brandy or liked the Richards sisters better - she was a guest in your home and you should have treated her accordingly.

Dana, It didn't come off as if Brandi was the bad guy here. You don't know these women. Kyle over stepped her bounds and was terrible to a guest that YOU invited. It was your job to make everyone comfortable and stay neutral. Can you not do that? Are you going to take sides right off the bat like it was with Camille and Kyle when they met? The viewers, well I thought that Kim was wasted too. Something was wrong aside from having to pee....Camille was right. Kyle and Kim were acting like high school brats....don't dissapoint us Dana and join in the bad behavior..please

First of all I for one am not impressed with the label dropping or the kissing up. As a hostess it is your job to make everyone feel comfortable, but you chose to only make a few of them comfortable. Very childish... Tonight was the first I've watched of this season....will be the last.

Dana you are an amazing and wonderful individual who is a breath of fresh air. Like Taylor had once said you are quite eccentric and we all would love an individual such as yourself in our life to keep us on our toes. And you are right a friend or a concerned individual if it has not gotten to that level yet you help them not shine a light on it. I love how you are very friendly and mean what you say. I look forward to seeing you in the coming episodes.

As host of game night, I thought you were tremendously rude to Brandi. She was a guest in your home. Why do you feel the need to name drop every time someone comments on what you're wearing?

It's amazing what women will do to be part of the "group". I can't believe that women who consider themselves mature behave as teenagers... As you watch the episode and see how you have been fun of throughout the season, perhaps you won't be so quick to jump on the bitch bandwagon

Dana, it's clear to see you are a trouble maker - and I think a nut job too. I'm not buying anything you say about yourself, your life, how much you spent on anything - I think your fronting everything, just to try and make it look like you're an equal contender on the show. And I can assure you, had you not come in through Taylor, Kyle would be having you for lunch. By the way you have some of the Richard sister brown icing your nose. And stop eating all those cupcakes and cookies (as it is you don't fit into your wedding dress).

I understand that Brandi's comment at the BBQ made you upset, but it was rude to invite her into your home and then be disrespectful to her. Declassé.

Hey,

I really like this blog. I like what you wrote. I think you are right. If you think at all that some one is having drug problems don't bring any attention to it. I mean you dont see Kyle talking about Brandi getting cheated on. I mean some topics are sensitive. However, I guess Brandi has moved on from that phase but she sure doesn't stop bringing it up. I think you were making people feel comfortable. I guess people in beverly hills perfer to be treated meanly than nice. Don't worry at least is a lesson you will learn. Be nice but don't exaggerate.People don't appreciate it.

I like you. As much as I can tell you're trying too hard to make friends with these ladies, you are still trying, and it's kind of sweet. You are great and I don't feel like you need to work so hard! Just be yourself!

Dana doesn't seem like a good hostess, late start, no good food, & adding to the meaness. I wouldn't want to go to a party at her place!

Dana, Being a recovering alcoholic myself, I can tell you that shining a flashlight on it is the best thing that can happen. It's called "intervention" and that what true friends and family do for you. Sweeping it under the table and pretending it's not a problem is what helps the dependency to continue, while the alcoholic/drug dependent person thinks they are fooling everyone. Kyle and Kim's behavior towards Brandi was nothing short of RUDE, albeit in Beverly Hills or small town USA.

Dana... I think you are great...If I met you at a girl's night, I'm sure I would end up talking to you most of the time. I get what you were saying regarding Kim and the "baby bird" zone. I just think you could have done a better job making all of your guests feel welcomed and comfortable, not just some. You tried to make Kim feel comfortable at the expense of so many others. Also..nobody really cares how much your clothes are and how wonderful the designers are, unless you are specifically asked. It just makes you look insecure and pitiful, like you are trying to get asked to senior prom as a freshman. Prove who you are with your personality, not your possessions.

I don't know why I wasted my time to read your blog..I guess I wanted to hear your side, but wow, what a waste of time.. Kim was very rude when she was passing those comments about not liking Brandi and not wanting to be on her team! she was clearly not alright. Kyle and Kim were acting like high school girls..and it's sad that you wrote a blog defending their behavior. Why were you asking Kyle to 'make it stop'? Are you 5 and is Kyle your mother?!?

Dana, How does someone invite a person to their home and join in on the baiting of a woman who is new to the group and trying to defend herself? You came off extremely mean and immature. You wrote that you wanted to make everyone feel at home & you did ... as long as they were in the cool crowd then yes indeed, you were the hostess with the mostess! You seem like try a little too hard with some of these ladies and it is painfully obvious ... less is more my dear, try some more sympathy toward the underdog and less sucking up to the "cool" girls.

Dana, as the season progresses I think the viewers will see you for what you are, a very sweet person. You may try too hard sometimes, but that's not the worst thing.

Dana, I think you were a horrible "game night" hostess! You should have immediately rearranged the teams to seperate Kim and Kyle and make Brandi feel included. As the hostess, it is your job to make all feel apart of the group. Words to live by: "Treat others how you would like to be treated".

just be yourself. it seemed like you were being yourslef at the bbq but switched at your party. you shouldnt have turned on brandi like that, she was not disrespectful to you. you were a undesirable hostess. either a mean girl or insecure...hope to see more layers of you and acting your age insteadof trying to be on a woman bashing bandwagon.

I saw on E News a tour of your beautiful home and was wondering why you have Barbi Dolls on display in your closet? I bought the same ones years ago for my daughter and she still has them. Are they a collector item now?

I think you'll be a good addition on the show and I admire the way you stood up for Kyle. But please, stop the name dropping. I understand you are trying to find your place and I don't think you're being at all arrogant. Just nervous. Lisa is soooo much worse, which puzzles me greatly. Good luck.

why would you be supportive and ingore wasted behavior?

Why is it OK for Kim to call you "Pam" but not Brandi? She was just trying to fit in and have fun. After all, it was Game Night. And I didn't detect a sarcastic tone with it.

Stop trying so hard to fit in & just be yourself. Good luck w the wedding & becoming your own person! You have a great smile, start there.xo

As a hostess your job is making your guests comfortable, you blew it when you joined the feeding frenzie on Brandi.

Are you kidding? Brandi didnt try?? Let's put you in that same situation and see how you feel. You were the hostess which was your responsibility to make every feel at home. You catered to Kyle and Kim

It was your house you were the hostess. If one of your guests felt uncomfortable you should have made an effort. YOU should have traded her teams so she could feel included. When she called you Pam she was very obviously trying to fit in withthe group & be in on the joke. If she wasn't your favorite person you shouldn't have invited her to your home where she was bullied the entire evening.

Please stop telling everyone the designers you are wearing or how much something costs, you should like you just got off the bus from little town usa!

You were fun and refreshing to watch at first but game night was just horrible to watch. It was your home and it would have been nice to see you try to defuse the situation instead of jumping on the band wagon and trying to fit in with the "mean girls" of the night, Kyle & Kim. I wish Adriane was there also because she would have acted like an adult and dealt with the situation with some grace.

Dana, the next time someone hurts your feelings by what they say or do to you(i.e.- Brandi), let them know and clear the air before you invite them into your home. Its not really rising above the drama if your going to still hold ill will towards them. Speak up and free your conscience.

i like dana, she makes the show fun. she is cute and nice, just wanted to fit in. she was nervous but very entertaining and came across as an honest person.

Do you realize how you come off that you repeatedly talk about how much you spent on your material items, as well as what designers you are wearing? Camille hit the nail on the head when she said "people with money don't talk about having money". You seem like a nice girl, but are trying too hard to be accepted.

You are such a sweet heart! And I love your house like 4 real! I didnt watch the whole episode cause i was tired and sleepy and i still had to check my kids homework and put them in bed. But I watched the episode of the game night and how kyle and kim didnt like brandi and that to me was not kool at all. I was reading your blog and you do make alot of sense. take care!

What the hell else was Brandi supposed to do?? She tried to be nice, she tried to get involved, she ignored all of your snotty comments for awhile, and eventually she realized you all (not Camille) are lunatics and were just being mean. I hope you don't break YOUR foot on that long way up the social ladder.. it's quite uncomfortable to watch you try and climb it.

I watch all the housewives because SOME of there lives are interesting and also inspirational . However watching the game night episode was nothing but two catty mean girls and a host who wants nothing more to fit in and basically sucking up!! that would be you Dana. Follow the leader with Kyle being the leader. You as the hostess could have shown more class and ended that before it got out of control. When do some of you OWN up to ur wrongs instead of excusing them.

A good hostess with good manners tries to make all her guests feel comfortable. You didn't even try with Brandi, and your nose was too far up Kim and Kyle's you-know-whats to try to stop their mean-spirited and just plain bad behavior. You should have tried to stop it right away. Brandi didn't deserve it, and she doesn't deserve you blaming her in your blog.

You seem friendly enough, at least with most of the housewives, however it definitely seemed like you were trying a little too hard to score points with Kyle and Kim, when they were clearly ganging up on Brandi. Your remark that she was not privileged enough to call you Pam, as Kim was, made you appear to be a brown noser. As the hostess of the party, shouldn't you have tried to welcoming and polite to all of them?

There is no excuse for you acting like you did. None!!! It doesn't matter if Brandi was your favorite person or not and it doesn't matter what your relationship was...she was an INVITED guest in YOUR home. Your facination with Kim and Kyle is that you know Kyle is a bully and you want to stay on her good side so you are willing to compromise your own dignity and sacrifice someone else's feelings to be in good with her. You are insecure and pathetic and I hope this is your first and last season. You are not a good fit in contrast to the secure and classy Adrianne, Lisa, Camille, and YES, Brandi.