In Reruns

The Reunion, where to begin?? This is a day we all dread. None of us want to go back and discuss issues that have already been resolved or address things in front of the cameras that happened off camera.

The day starts off with all of us happy but nervous. We are laughing, joking around, and running back and forth to see each other as we are getting ready. Then comes the dreaded call. . ."They're ready for you." It feels like the walk to the electric chair. OK, slight exaggeration but it's not fun.

Andy tells us where to sit and we take our seats. At first it's fun, and we are having a pretty good time. Then the hard questions come. We are expected to answer honestly. It's not always easy. Many times I've wanted to say "May I be excused?"

When we addressed the stuff that had been going on off camera between Lisa and I, I was not trying to be hurtful, just honest. I was upset that she had said one thing to my face about doing the splits at Pandora's engagement party and then changed her tune. I knew it was to get back at me for my "maybe she preys on the weak people" comment. Lisa knows my personality and knows I've been known to do crazier stuff than the splits without cameras around just to make my friends laugh. That is who I am. Everyone there, including Lisa, had known I was hurt by that. I would have felt like a hypocrite if I had not been honest about it. I should have chosen my words more carefully during that conversation with Taylor when I made that comment that upset Lisa. I would have preferred if we had just handled the issue alone, without cameras, which we had done and gotten past. However, during the reunion these issues are brought up again. Then we have to relive them over and over. Then just when you think you're past it. . .reruns!

When Andy asked me what was going on between Adrienne and Lisa I was extremely uncomfortable. I am friends with both of them! I think a lot of people think I am only close with Lisa, however, Mauricio and I are also close with Adrienne and Paul (as well as the rest of the ladies) In addition to that, Adrienne has been very kind to my sister Kim during a very difficult time in her life.

As Lisa and Adrienne started to get into it, I felt awful. There were many times I wanted to chime in and didn't because of the fact that they are both my friends. How could I defend one and not the other? I also know that these two women are strong and can hold their own. The people pleaser in me (not a good trait or one that I am proud of) didn't want either one of them to be upset with me. So I stayed out of it. Most of us did. This argument was a long time coming, and I had not been involved with any of their issues. However, when the day was finished, I felt bad about not speaking up at certain times.

Clearly, I would have my own battles to fight. . .

When Brandi came in we joked about her getting married in Vegas. I had teased her via text about it right after she got married and we had laughed. All was fine between Brandi and me. . .so I thought.

The drama continues next week. . .