This week is a rough one. I actually cried after watching it. In some ways this episode was harder for me than the Season 1 finale. I say that because that scene in the limo with my sister Kim, as difficult as it was, was what I was feeling. I'm not proud of how I went about it. I also knew the audience didn't know our history or why I was so upset, so that made it more difficult. But, I also think that anyone who has a strained relationship with a sibling knows that nobody can get you more worked up!
However, in this episode, as I watch, I don't feel like myself. I can see that I was nervous from the moment I walked in the door. I didn't know Dana or Brandi very well, and I was uncomfortable. Plus, I was also expecting my sister at any moment. Spending time with Kim makes me nervous at times. Our relationship was on the mend and still shaky. .
When Kim arrived, she seemed a bit out of sorts. I had a previous cell phone conversation with her on my way to Dana's where she told me she was extremely stressed and anxious. We went into the bathroom to fix her hair/make-up and to sort of regroup. That's all that was going on in the bathroom that night.
Later, when we started playing games, Kim whispered (I now realize, not quietly enough) that she didn't like Brandi. I did not realize Brandi heard this, which is why I later said, "What are you talking about?" I think at this point in my relationship with Kim, I would have stood by her no matter what she said or did because I was so traumatized by our fight last year. Watching myself laugh like that I was thinking, “Oh, my gosh, all I needed was a broom and a wart on the end of my nose!" Sometimes the dynamics are so tense in the group that you get caught up in that.