I am sorry to all of you for missing my blog last week. I was moving house and was immersed in what seemed at the time to be an insurmountable muddle!
This week we find ourselves at Paul's night of beauty. I went to join in but was working shortly after so decided not to indulge. Also, as most of you know, three years ago I partnered up with Dr Simon Ourian in a skincare line, so any tweaking to my face (Botox for example) is done by him!
I was saddened as I observed the conversation between Kyle and Taylor. It is very strange to watch the story unfold. As we see each episode, pieces of the puzzle slowly fall into place. I realize now that loyalty is a rare commodity!
I have always been honest with the fact that I was not particularly enamored with Taylor, but I still cared for her welfare. I knew she had difficulties in her marriage. That is why I always maintained, as I lived in a secure environment, that if she ever needed me, day or night, my home was open. I knew she was close with Kyle and wondered if she would try to create problems between us. The tabloid story I was accused of giving to US Weekly was another insult. You the viewer witnessed my confusion at Paul's office. I naively asked Kyle if she had any clue about or if she could possibly shed some light on the bizarre email Russell had sent me. Now remember, at that time I was not privy to the meetings and dinner that you the viewers have now seen. In retrospect, it's slightly humiliating as I questioned Kyle and Taylor totally unaware of their previous conversations. Personally if the roles had been reversed, I would have given Kyle the heads up.So it begs the question....Why would I give my friend, who is the west coast editor of US Weekly a story that we all knew to be a lie? The magazine, my friend, and I would have all looked stupid. I hate the fact that I have to defend myself against some vindictive accusation. What also irks me is the fact that my friend, the editor, knows the source and can't, because of journalistic principles, reveal who the troublemaker is. . .even to me. However, since then she can and has sworn to Kyle that I had absolutely no involvement. I just resent the fact that people can invent something and suddenly the integrity that you have worked so hard for is in question. It's one of the challenges of being on a reality show.
I was so overwhelmed with opening and designing my new restaurant, planning my daughter's wedding, writing my book, and still trying to focus on my existing businesses that I hadn't had time to socialize as much as the others.
I have seen just in the last few weeks how Kyle and Taylor had gotten together, and I had been the topic of a negative conversation. Hurtful, yes, but I didn't know it at the time. I have always defended Kyle, sometimes to my detriment. I’ve loved her, tried to understand her, and been supportive with hours of conversation, through several altercations. Then to witness her say "I prey on the weak," which would imply bullying, was very upsetting and insulting. I just don't understand it...
This show is accurate in its portrayal of us. They shoot enough footage and we interact so intensely that you have a very clear picture of who we are, who is insecure, who is aggressive, who sees the funny side, and, quite honestly, who isn't coping. I don't think the nametag of bully really has ever or would ever belong to me. You can accuse me of a lot of things but not that one...keep trying. I've come to realize there's no point in taking a cheap shot back because it's not what others think of you that's important...truly it's what you think of yourself.