Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Of Conscience and Consequences

Brandi: Lisa R. Should Be Disappointed in Herself

Kim: Don't Mistake My Sadness for Weakness

Kyle: I Have Never Had Anyone Put a Hand on Me

Lisa V.: I Tried to Warn Kyle

Eileen: Brandi Attacks, Then Deflects

Lisa R.: Kyle Didn't Create This Drama

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: More Fighting and a Peeping Tom

Kim: Kyle Should Be Worried, Not Embarrassed

Brandi: Kyle Wants to Help When There's an Audience

Kyle: This Was Brandi's Master Plan

Lisa V.: Kim's Demeanor Was Questionable

Eileen: Brandi Loves to Stir the Pot

Lisa R.: It Felt Just As Awkward As It Looked

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Disgust and a Push

Yolanda: I Would Like to Apologize

Brandi: I Won't Make Excuses

Kim: I Wanted to Hold Kyle

Lisa V.: I Want Max to Be Ambitious

Eileen: Being a Stepmom Is Challenging

Lisa R.: Lots of Transition Happening

Kyle: We Are an Emotional Bunch

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Surprise and an F-Bomb

Lisa V.: A Naughty Child Shouldn't Be Rewarded

Kyle: Brandi Was Rude and Offensive

Eileen: It Felt Like an Attack

Lisa R.: It Was Shocking and Unprovoked

Kim: Brandi Is Brandi

7 Faces We All Made During This Week's #RHOBH

Brandi: Lisa V. Was Making Me Uncomfortable

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Shock and Tears

4 Questions We All Asked During #RHOBH

Lisa R.: Portia Is My Spirit Animal

Eileen: Brandi Showed Us How Not to Make Amends

Yolanda: I Took One for the Team

Lisa V.: Yes, Love Is a Big Word

Kyle: Moments Like These Are Frustrating

Lisa V.: I Won't Erase the Past

Brandi: I Don't Enjoy Anger or Grudges

Eileen: I Could Feel the Tension at Kyle's

Lisa R Reflects on That Bittersweet Episode

Of Conscience and Consequences

Lisa ponders the fallout of her fight with Taylor and her lodgings in Vegas.

This week we return to the tea party, where emotions ran high, loyalties were divided, and I floundered as I wondered if any support would come my way. . .

I expected too much. Even though you give others support, it is still impossible to assume that you will be rewarded with the same. I learned you can't expect loyalty to be reciprocated. Take heed. It was like rats deserting a sinking ship. I don't want anybody to "back me." If you believe I am right, and many had voiced the same doubts as I over the last year, then speak up. Don't do as I had mistakenly done, in defending Kyle against Brandi when I did not have an accurate picture of what had really transpired.

What did I learn from this humiliating experience, where I was insulted so publicly? I learned to pick my battles, and I realized that the person I was dealing with had greater battles of her own. Was my pride hurt? Yes, of course. Hearing Kyle confirm Taylor's accusations against me regarding my ego was very hurtful. But it was also enlightening, as previously I had no idea what had been said between the two of them.

Things quickly came to a climax with Camille exposing what Taylor had told us about her marriage. It was out of sheer frustration of being on this roller coaster. All of us had had mixed feelings and a plethora of emotions, always resulting in utter confusion. After listening to, supporting, and sometimes doubting, the stories of abuse Taylor had told us, she would then ask us to interact with this man that we had such confused and negative feelings towards. I could never reveal this. I didn't feel it was my prerogative to reveal this however. But suddenly it was out there, the explanation of why, certainly myself, had always given him a wide berth. I believe she was astounded at the fact that somebody finally said something. I felt for her, simple as that. I felt deep inside my gut that her stories of abuse were true, but other issues I doubted. I am so sorry that it took such devastating tragedy for the truth to be revealed.

I embraced her, confirming, much to Kyle's surprise, that it was time to start anew and erase all the negative feelings and many unanswered questions and extend a hand of support to somebody who desperately needed it.

I really believed at that time, whether or not, I was being manipulated, that her need to have me as a friend superseded all that I felt and would just continue to feed into her insecurities.

There we have it, a situation that can turn in the blink of an eye.

Taylor had invited me to Kennedy's birthday in Malibu. Even though we had resolved our differences, I declined. My own daughter needed to spend time with me planning her wedding. I still found it difficult to understand the magnitude of their five-year-old's daughter's birthday party, given their financial state,

Anyway on a lighter note, we got down to the task of choosing our invitations. We eventually agreed on this beautiful box, smaller than the one you saw, covered with white roses. Perfection! Pandy also brought the bridesmaid dresses. Things were beginning to come to fruition. Wooo-hoooooooo!

A very close friend of ours, who owns and created Planet Hollywood, had offered to host Jason and Pandora's bachelor and bachelorette parties. Jason had a wonderful weekend organized by our friend and the kids, so obviously Pandora was going to have the same. Pandora hardly knows Adrienne. Let me be very clear here -- nobody was remotely interested in where they went and what they did until I was going of course. Then at the last minute when I was cajoled by Pandora and Kyle to go, suddenly everything changed. But it had all been arranged! It was my daughter's choice with her Uncle Robert. She had spent many, many weekends there growing up. It was my daughter's weekend organized by her. It wasn't about supporting somebody's business. I would never get upset every time people ate in other restaurants in Beverly Hills!

At this point I am starting to get a little tired of constantly trying to navigate these troubled waters. It has been a difficult season.

I will live my life accordingly, striving to be kind, honest, and fair. If I falter, my conscience will deal with the consequences!

Love always,
Lisa