Episode 8: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor wonders how many estheticians it will take to solve the Brandi/Kyle/Kim feud.
Hello my little lovelies,
Has everyone calmed down from the Game Night fight? I'm still in a state of shock and may never eat a meringue or play "Celebrity" again. But move on we must. It's a new day in Beverly Hills filled with revitalizing spa treatments and half-hearted apologies. Let's recap shall we?
Know Your Chicken
Many moons ago, when I saw the season preview that included Adrienne washing the chicken with soap, I thought to myself, "Well there is no way that could be any more delightful."
I was wrong. Seeing just how truly poor Adrienne's poultry knowledge was really took me to a place of laughter. Couple that lack of culinary know-how with Bernie casting his knowing gaze on the proceedings and I could barely hang on. Seeing the world's most judgmental chef giving the side eye throughout the entire process really added another layer to this little moment (much like stuffing a chicken with herbs makes it more delicious). God bless you Adrienne Maloof. May you and Paul have a happy life full of takeout food.
I don’t want to pick on the lack of food at Game Night, but seriously the spread at spa day only made me wonder whether perhaps Adrienne had heard how hungry everyone was last time and stocked up. "Hmm," she might have pondered, “"Only meringues and breadsticks at the last party -- I'll solve that by serving red velvet cakes covered in flakes of gold." Like Kyle I was curious as to where the edible diamonds might be, but I do suppose it is a recession.
Besides, the extravagant eats, let's talk about the litany of spa options available that day. It was as though someone was singing the "12 Days of Personal Care" -- three manicurists, two estheticians, one spray tan booth! But perhaps the most relaxing delight Adrienne provided was the trampoline, where Kim found her moment of zen doing flips with her sister. Unfortunately, less relaxing was Camille's spray tan adventure. I think we've all learned the most important lesson of spa day -- don't get a spray tan if you aren't interested in the other ladies seeing you in hot pink skivvies.
After Brandi took the elevator up to collect her spa robe (that was my immediate fear when she got to the party – how was she going to get a robe?), she was fully in attendance and ready to spend some time relaxing with the Richards sisters – if Kim would acknowledge her. Kim mentioned that her "selective seeing" prevented her from talking to Brandi directly mainly because she has a "dirty, dirty, ugly mouth, like a sewer."
Kyle on the other hand attempted to be a little more receptive to Brandi's apology (sort of), but no amount of cucumber water or laser face techniques or specific apology instructions from the other ladies was enough to build that bridge.
And so, Brandi hobbled off from a fresh fight with Kyle -- but still looking fresh faced. We’ll see if Pandora's party and its grand menagerie will help to mend bridges at all. My mother always said that if two people don’t get along, put them in a room with a camel and they’ll probably work it out.