Cast Blog: #RHOBH

OK, Kitty Cats

Yolanda: These Are Teaching Moments

Kim: My Heart Felt So Big

Kyle: Kim and Monty's Relationship Is Unique

Lisa V.: I Needed an Uncomplicated Friendship

Brandi: Kim Is a Survivor

Eileen: Brooke Was a Gorgeous Bride

Lisa R.: I Couldn't Be More in My Element

Brandi: I Felt Like a Grown Up

Yolanda: I Was Doubting My Parenting Skills

Lisa V.: A Scare Can Be the Ultimate Lesson

Eileen: Yeah, Vincent and I Bicker Sometimes

Lisa R.: My Heart Ached for Yolanda

Kim: The Call No Parent Wants to Get

3 Clues to Next Week's Episode

Brandi: Not a Good Time for My Phone to Die

Lisa V.: Hindsight Is 20/20

Kim: The Words You Never Want to Hear

Yolanda: 50 Is the New 30

Eileen: A Long Career Is the True Award

Kyle: An Invite to a Party Isn't the Answer

Lisa R.: God Bless Michael Bolton!

Quiz: How Well Do You Remember Episode 3?

11 #RHOBH Reactions That Sum up Our Lives

Kyle: I Would Take A Road Trip Over a Plane

Lisa: When You Reach Out, You Are Rewarded

Kim: Brandi and I Always Seem to Have Fun

Yolanda: A Homemade Meal Goes a Long Way

Brandi: I Was Surprised Adrienne Was So Receptive

The Real Story Behind Lisa R.'s Depends Ad

3 Clues to Next Week's Episode

Quiz: How Well Do You Remember Episode 2?

3 Times the 'Wives Were Just Like Us

Quiz: How Well Do You Remember Episode 1?

Kyle: Brandi Was Looking for Trouble

Lisa's First Impression of the Ladies

Yolanda: Fasten Your Seat Belts

Q&A: How Are Camille, Adrienne, and Taylor Now?

Lisa: Kyle and I Have Always Had a Bond

Brandi: Lisa Made Up With Everyone But Me

3 GIFs You Have to See From Next Week's Ep

OK, Kitty Cats

Episode 14: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor pours herself some Cheetos and ice water and watches the wedge-but-no-bra party unfold.

OK, kitty cats,

Has anyone else noticed the theme of this season seems to be. . .themed parties? Our girls are either exponentially more popular this year, or it's just prime shindig season. There have been so many parties with varying themes – camel parties, séances, teas, and now, a wedge-but-no-bra party. However, the ladies seem to be operating under that old axiom: "It's someone else's party, and I will yell loudly and make a scene if I want to."

Cinco de Mauricio
Despite Mauricio's Mexican heritage, he was having a hard time dressing for his Cinco de Mayo party. It was precious seeing him struggle with his outfit (handsome people have problems too, y'all!) In the end he pulled it together (brown and brown is fine!), and the margaritas flowed like wine. This party basically had everything you could ever want: Mexican food, Mauricio, and recently fixed up faces (Estella!) . We also learned that Estella now can't move her head and her neck independently because of the work she had done. Eh, range of motion is overrated anyway.

Moment of Ken
God bless this man. First he had to move away from England to escape pewter goblets, as Lisa told the wedding planner. (Aside: I think that's why the Pilgrims left as well. "We must escape the religious tyranny and pewter goblets! How can we live in a land like this?") Then Lisa makes Ken work and build a new Sur when the poor man just wants to retire, and finally adding insult to injury Lisa skips that class on, um, pleasing gentlemen.

God Bless you Mr. Todd.

Dress Code: Bra Optional
Brandi, being the conscientious lady that she is, decided to throw a party that all of the ladies could attend, as a sort of "pay it forward" for all their shindigs. However, as Adrienne explained, over lady-like cuts of pizza, there's some tension between Taylor and Camille. They did fine at that fashion show though, so why would this go wrong? When do things ever go wrong in Beverly Hills? Did anyone foresee this being a problem? Course not, right? Housewives never fight at parties, particularly not when they have lingering animosity. Darling Kim doesn't go to the party because Brandi doesn’t exist. How can you to go a party thrown by a person that doesn't exist? Instead she sits in her laundry room, drinking ice water and eating Cheetos. That seems like party enough to me.

The rest of the ladies head out. Camille brings some gal pals (including D.D.!) and Kyle and Taylor head off a touch later, singing a little ditty called "I've Got Your Back" (that's not a joke that's an actual song they sort of whipped up together. Look at these two carrying on the Housewives musical tradition).

When all the ladies finally arrive, Camille and Taylor have this hug -- and it's a hug. It looked really good, but then Taylor said she wasn't feeling it. Despite what you learned in kindergarten, hugs can't cure all.

Immediately the chatter turns to shoes (surprise), and the gals gab about wedges – and lack of bras. Nipples are in this season. Instead of the "blow-job classes," Brandi decided to go with a belly dancing tutorial. Bet you can guess who excelled at this skillset. However, everyone, myself included, surely must have been surprised by Kyle’s handling of a laser pointer. . .

Perhaps Brandi had those on hand for the kitty cats. Where were those kitty cats? And it was with that little green light that the party took a turn. Well, not exactly, but it wasn't long after that Taylor excused herself outside, before returning and making a comment that really drove D.D. to the edge.

God bless, Linda Thompson (mother of Brody Jenner!), for trying to talk some sense into our gals. "Look at this big white ocean. This ocean is going to be here long after we're all gone." Unfortunately, even a beautiful body of water could not distract them from the disagreement. And then bad went to horrifically worse when Brandi decided to remedy the situation by sending Taylor home.

And so Taylor and Kyle head off into the night with Taylor nearly burning the limo up with her wildly lit cigarette (In all my years of life I’ve never seen a cigarette do that. It flamed up like a Roman candle. That pack was faulty somehow). Here's hoping the gals don’t have any "fun parties" for a few days so they can cool down.