Cast Blog: #RHOBH

The Recap of Beauty

Kim: Don't Mistake My Sadness for Weakness

Kyle: I Have Never Had Anyone Put a Hand on Me

Lisa V.: I Tried to Warn Kyle

Eileen: Brandi Attacks, Then Deflects

Lisa R.: Kyle Didn't Create This Drama

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: More Fighting and a Peeping Tom

Kim: Kyle Should Be Worried, Not Embarrassed

Brandi: Kyle Wants to Help When There's an Audience

Kyle: This Was Brandi's Master Plan

Lisa R.: It Felt Just As Awkward As It Looked

Lisa V.: Kim's Demeanor Was Questionable

Eileen: Brandi Loves to Stir the Pot

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Disgust and a Push

Yolanda: I Would Like to Apologize

Brandi: I Won't Make Excuses

Kim: I Wanted to Hold Kyle

Lisa V.: I Want Max to Be Ambitious

Eileen: Being a Stepmom Is Challenging

Lisa R.: Lots of Transition Happening

Kyle: We Are an Emotional Bunch

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Surprise and an F-Bomb

Lisa V.: A Naughty Child Shouldn't Be Rewarded

Kyle: Brandi Was Rude and Offensive

Lisa R.: It Was Shocking and Unprovoked

Kim: Brandi Is Brandi

Eileen: It Felt Like an Attack

7 Faces We All Made During This Week's #RHOBH

Brandi: Lisa V. Was Making Me Uncomfortable

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Shock and Tears

4 Questions We All Asked During #RHOBH

Lisa R.: Portia Is My Spirit Animal

Eileen: Brandi Showed Us How Not to Make Amends

Yolanda: I Took One for the Team

Lisa V.: Yes, Love Is a Big Word

Kyle: Moments Like These Are Frustrating

Lisa V.: I Won't Erase the Past

Brandi: I Don't Enjoy Anger or Grudges

Eileen: I Could Feel the Tension at Kyle's

Lisa R Reflects on That Bittersweet Episode

Yolanda: These Are Teaching Moments

The Recap of Beauty

Episode 10: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor applauds Lisa's impersonation skills, Kyle's muffin top, and the visiting spirits.

Welcome to the Recap of Beauty. Here we don't have minor surgical procedures, but we do have a full breakdown on this episode and my telling you that you look pretty. Almost the same thing as Paul's Night of Beauty, really. Anyway, let's channel the spirits of this episode’s séance and recap, shall we?

My Muffin Top is All That
Like all great episodes we begin with a muffin top, as Kyle shows Paul her love handles in hopes that they can be eradicated at his "Night of Beauty." This reminded me, of course, of my second all-time favorite fictitious 30 Rock song, "Muffin Top." ("Werewolf Bat Mitzvah" will always be first.) I understand Kyle being nervous to show off her muffin top, but I'm sure it's "all that, whole-grain, and low-fat," just like Jenna Maroney's.

Those with a categorical knowledge of Housewives procedures will recognize the muffin top machine from RHOA's Kim's laser pizza procedure. It's nice to see the technology is prevalent on both coasts, and even better to see someone using it while not noshing one a few slices in the process.

The rest of the ladies have a few nips and snips as well -- with Lisa and Taylor continuing their troubled relationship. Lisa tries to bring up Russell's email, but Taylor's off in a hurry, so they'll save that tussle for another day.

And then, Kim Richards arrives, after having her consult with Paul from the car. I'll get to her excuses about not attending the séance shortly, but needless to say she and Kyle aren't exactly acting like Casper the Friendly Ghost to each other. Before they get to work (and Kim kicks Kyle out for being too motherly), Kim and Paul discuss her current medications, and how she feels being sober. Honestly, it was really touching to see Kim speak about her sobriety, and it’s great to know that she’s in a good place.

(Hey, you look pretty.)

Lisa Vanderpump, Master Impressionist
Lisa is a talent at many things -- throwing parties and general hostessing, being English, singing reggae songs, having an amazing dog -- but one talent I was not aware of was her ability to perfectly impersonate Kim Richards. Since this episode deals so much with the spirit realm, I do wonder if her skill is mystical in some way. Perhaps she's pulling Kim's spirit right into herself and spitting her excuses out, because look at this. . .

And as if that weren't enough, Lisa proved that she had another trick up her sleeve. Playing a pitch-perfect Allison DuBois at the séance. The woman is practically Darrell Hammond! Someone get her a gig on SNL. At the very least get her a walk on during a Kristen Wiig sketch. Imagine that delight if you will. She’d make a great Target Lady.

(I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, you look pretty.)

The Spirit Room
If you're a fan of Housewives shows, and I'm assuming you are because you’re reading this, you might have noticed a major trend in the use of psychics. I’m not sure any one class of people supports the psychic arts as much as The Real Housewives do. I personally have never been invited to a séance, and I’ve got to say watching this one in particular, I’m pretty miffed about it -- because it looks awesome.

Big reveals left and right! Lisa's grandmother was at the Dinner Party from Hell, as it turns out, Adrienne's father is watching out for her, Brandi might have another tot in her future, Kyle and Brandi are actually getting along (that’s not even a vision, it's actually true), Kyle was Kim's mother in a past life, and Camille has a new man in her future (and this one has already come true! Kudos Camille!). Not too shabby. Also, now all their spirit friends are buddy-buddy, whether Lisa likes who her grandmother is hanging out with or not.

Frankly, if we could pull out a Ouija board and Stevie-Nicks style flowy top and contact the spirit world to get this much information each week, I would be down.

The last nugget of intel we learn this week did not take a seer. It came straight from Kim's mouth as she finally revealed what she's been keeping a secret from Kyle -- she's seeing someone, has been for a year, and is moving in with him.

Dadgum, as I like to say.

Kyle tries to take the news like a champ, but struggles. It is pretty shocking, and as happy for Kim as she knows she should, she sort of loses it. . .

Which means it's the perfect time to introduce them! Yay!

And so between this big meeting and a tea party that trumps anything tiff you've had with your teddy bears, next week things might get a little intense. I'd suggest you brew yourself a batch of chamomile in advance. But hey, don't forget -- you look really pretty.

Eileen: Brandi Attacks, Then Deflects

Eileen responds to Brandi's comments about her poker party.

I'm in New York during an epic blizzard. What?! I'm a California girl, and this is a first!

I'm jumping in with Yolanda and Bella and the vertical/horizontal issue with her phone. I'm so happy, because now I know it's not just me!

Just to clarify...in Brandi's last blog she said she came to our poker party and was so hungry because it was dinner time and we had no food. Aww. I guess she has to blame someone for her actions. But honestly, folks? It wasn't EXACTLY dinner time. It was between 8:30 and 9:00 PM. And it wasn't a DINNER party. It was a POKER party. A DINNER party is where you sit down at a table and have dinner. A POKER party is where you sit down at a table and play poker. And even so, we had lots of hors d'oeuvres. Such as those "little pancakes that are for children" that are usually known as blinis. Take a peek at the end of last week's episode. You'll see us all gathered in my kitchen, and there are trays of uneaten food on the kitchen island. Things got crazy as soon as we sat down to play the tournament. Even though the food was catered and delicious (I know this because I ate a lot of it before the ladies came over), everyone was too distracted to actually eat it. Well, maybe Brandi didn't see all the food, and that's why she got so tipsy and acted like she did. And thank goodness she was a little tipsy, or that gash in her arm could have been so much more painful.

As far as having a nanny (which we don't have, BTW) take Jesse away for the evening? I'm not quite sure where we're supposed to send an 11-year-old boy at 10 PM when we couldn't arrange a sleepover. Nor did Vincent and I think it was necessary. After all, we weren't having a group of Portuguese sailors over for a poker game. It was four women. If we're ever moronic enough to invite Brandi over again, I'll make sure Jesse is safely sequestered away from our property. I wouldn't want her not to be able to express herself fully with "f---, c---, p----, c---, b---," etc. as loudly and as often as she pleases.

If we're ever moronic enough to invite Brandi over again, I'll make sure Jesse is safely sequestered away from our property.

Eileen Davidson

Kim must be in severe pain, or why would she have taken someone else's meds? Why is she at a party? I know she's going through so much with her ex-husband, Monty, and is very vulnerable, but is Brandi really the best friend for her? I know sibling relationships are complicated, but I still believe Kyle has her sister's best interests at heart more than Brandi does. What was the point of keeping Kim away from Kyle? Kyle wanted to understand what was happening with her sister. Brandi admitted she was drunk. That's who someone who is trying to stay sober has as her support system? Brandi has her own issues to deal with and watching her with Kim was disturbing and not a healthy combination, IMO.

Lisa R.'s charity event was lovely. I adore her beautifiul home and it has such a gorgeous view! I definitely bought a couple of pieces that I'm crazy about. I was so happy to help out this great cause.

I told Lisa V. when I stopped to pick her up (and seriously? THAT closet? Watch swans?! Fabulous!) that I can't stand unresolved stuff. It's sort of annoying me that I don't understand Brandi's aggressive behavior towards me. So I decided to talk to her about it. Two women just communicating, hopefully to maybe find some common ground. A deep and lasting friendship is probably not in the cards, but I'm hoping that at least we could have some resolution? Crazy of me? Maybe so, because I wasn't aware I was "lecturing" her. That certainly was not my intention. I'm not her parent or teacher. I'm just trying to understand. Brandi acts like I'm offending her by wanting to understand her. Clearly, my actions towards her have been insulting and mean. Wait. That's how she is towards me. I guess I am finally understanding her, after all. She attacks, then deflects. She's becoming predictable. Yawn.

I'll be auctioning off a lightly used poker tournament trophy (held proudly for a moment by Brandi), that was left at our house for charity. Opening bid is $100.00.

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