Hello Beverly Hills lovers. I can't believe you answered my call, er, recap. I guess you love me more than Lisa Vanderpump. (Just kidding Lisa, I think the lack of ladies answering you phone was just a fluke. They were probably just all driving through tunnels and getting terrible reception.) The quotient of oddities in this episode is so high I'm frankly unsure of how to even recap it. I mean, just look at this:
You have a camel (a better behaved one than the one the Countess rode), a mermaid (an especially vocal one at that), drum circles, strange dancing, people sliding down banisters, secret bedrooms, Kyle Richards showing that she is exceptionally flexible, Mohamed's fembot girlfriend. . . I could go on and on. Truly in the cannon of Housewives parties, this leaps to the forefront.
Thus, instead of the usual recap, I've decided to hand out awards this week. There is simply too much greatness at this shindig to not spotlight all the delights and wonders therein. Come as I highlight the most amazing moments of this Moroccan-style evening.
First a non-party related award -- Best anesthesiologist look-a-like for Marky Marky: Paul's. Let me just put this out there Dr. Nassif -- if Kim doesn't want him, feel free to set him up with me. Despite not knowing what the half of his face that was covered by the surgical mask looks like, I'll date him. I'm sure if anything was less than ideal under there, you fixed it. Also, plase say hi to Mark Wahlberg's mother for me.