Cast Blog: #RHOBH

You Can Call Me Pam

Episode 6: Kim, Kyle, and Taylor? Bravotv.com's Associate Editor ponders the perfect game night team -- and dinner menu.

It's game night in Beverly Hills, pals. I hope you brought your intimate knowledge of the friends and former flames of the Richards sisters, because the only clues we're giving are relevant to Kim’s dating life. So come along. I've got a plate full of meringues, and I promise not to hide your crutches. Let's play, "Top 3 Moments of This Episode" Pyramid.

Love, Vanderpump-Style
Before we get to the battle royale, let's address the Lisa Vanderpump portions of this episode that warmed the cold cockles of my heart. First, we open with Lisa making potato salad, which, really? I didn't know British people ate potato salad, let alone did I imagine Lisa would ever eat something so mayonnaise-based. Also, she has the largest pepper grinder in the world. It's appropriately sized for giants to grind seasoning with. I think it's three times the size of Giggy. Anyway, while Ken works the half-tuck and sips coffee, young Maximus drops a bomb -- he loves his girlfriend. Lisa's hyper-interested. Who is this woman who has stolen his heart away?

There's no time to address though because another child proves to be deep in love! Lisa's hosting a dinner party for Pandora and Jason and Jason's fam after their big trip to New York City. Also in attendance – Kim Richards' former suitor, Martin, who was unfortunately not a clue at game night. After Lisa takes a seat in her enormous chair, Jason stands up to make another one of his patented "I love Pandora"-speeches, only to reveal what we've been waiting for since the season premiere -– it's finally not a fake proposal!

Lisa is verklempt. Ken has nothing to say, adorably. If you paid attention in the preview you caught that the inspiration for Franck Eggelhoffer from the Father of the Bride is planning these nuptials. Buckle up, folks, this is going to be exactly the sort of understated affair Lisa is known for (similar to her not-too-large-at-all chair she sat in at dinner).

Pam? Dana!
After Dana and Taylor make some snacks while wearing aprons (price not disclosed), the ladies gather for game night at the Wilkey abode. Things are all set -- the Dominoes food towers are lined up carefully, Dana's wearing Valentino shorts, the furniture has been moved conveniently out of the way. And then the guests start pouring in. Brandi hobbles in to make awkward conversation with Kyle. Camille and Taylor arrive to save Kyle and Brandi from certain turmoil.

But where's Kim?

No worries, -- she's here just in time to utter the best/most confused line of the season (thus far): "Pam. Dana?"

You can't blame the woman. She tells us roughly a hundred times this episode how little she likes new people (remember she already told us she also does not like new restaurants). How can she be expected to keep it all straight? Plus, calling Dana 'Pam" is their thing now. So excuse her if she needs to fix her makeup in the bathroom a hundred times while drinking her McCafe out of a real glass. That's just how this night is going to be.

And now a breadstick break. . .

I’m really hungry. . .

Kim, Kyle, and Taylor?
Now that we've eaten, er, something, and learned to never take liquid liner out with us (thanks, Kyle!) the games can really get going. Here are a couple of important things we learned over the course of game night.

1. If you don't like the team you’ve been assigned, just blurt out the names of the people you'd rather be paired with -- Dana: "Kyle, Kim, and Brandi." Kim: "Kim, Kyle, and Taylor?" I don't understand how this didn't work for her. . .
2. Don't play with sisters, let alone sisters that were child actresses together. Unless Brandi had memorized their IMDb pages beforehand, she had zero chance of knowing even slightly what those clues meant.
3. Winston Churchill is not black, despite Brandi's beliefs.
4. Do not mess with Kim Richards. She will hide your crutches. Also, Kyle's tone when saying "That's the Kim I know," seemed to imply that maybe she's pulled this sort of tricky maneuver before, so maybe don't cross Kim Richards when you have some sort of walking aide she could hide.
5. Do not stand up and tell someone "you first" pointedly. It is not going to go well. . .

Yup, that happened.

Remember when Adrienne and Brandi went to lunch and Adrienne was like, "Let's show people your fun side Brandi"? This wasn't it. Sure, this side might be fun for the viewers at home, but the 'Wives don't seem amused. Bonus points to Camille for right off the bat saying that Brandi does not know what she's getting into. And neither do we, because the fight won't finish up until next week.

Until then, leave your guesses for who Brandi thought Winston Churchill was in the comments.

Brandi: You Can't Confirm What Didn't Happen

Brandi questions some of the ladies' motives, plus gives an interesting update on her relationship with LeAnn. 

Hey, My Bravoistas!

I’m in my American Airlines' seat 36 hours later, flying back home from NYC, thankful to be on a safe path home. My prayers go out to the families and loved ones of the downed German airliner in the French Alps this morning. I cannot imagine the pain being experienced by these families at this moment, which shockingly has led me to add a new person into my flight prayer today...my children’s stepmom. Don’t get me wrong--not everything is yet copasetic, but my children love her, so she is now in the “flight prayer,” differences aside. Now on a happier RHOBH note, last night’s WWHL with Andy was sooooo fun! No drama for once!

NEWS FLASH! Please watch for my new Sonoma County Chardonnay “Unfiltered Blonde,” to launch in April!

As I look over this past season, all I can say is it’s been an odd one. There were so many fun moments that got lost in the drama and so many weeks of fun you never saw at all. I wish you had, but I'm not in control of everything we get to see. I’d like to remember having fun with Kim “stalking” my now boyfriend J.R. That was such a crazy fun girls' night, Lisa R. being chased by killer bees, Yolanda and her Facetime confusion and meeting her family for the second time this--time in Holland, the Foster Foundation Extravaganza, “singing” at Lisa V.’s birthday party, and Kyle pretending to be a caring sister and owning yachts and planes…haha.
Ok, I’ll behave.

Here we are at the last episode of the season, yet, it seems most are still stuck in the beginning. I wish we weren’t, and I would dearly like to leave “Poker Night” behind. However, one person continues to make it the focal point of every interaction from when it happened and far into the three-part reunion.

This episode opens with Rinna tearing down a swing set, but her home interviews are still about what she perceives as Kim’s issues to be, not the actual touching moment of what the swing set tear-down symbolizes or her own family (I can't wait for her daughters to write their Brooke Shields-style memoir when they are age appropriate). LR says she feels sorry for Kim and cares about Kim and wishes Kim well. The truth is a lot less pretty. Some people have been attacking Kim’s sobriety online this week, but we won’t name names. BTW, Kim is sober and not online. She is busy caring for serious ill family members and driving back and forth to doctors and hospitals and being strong for her family.

Next we see Nicky Hilton’s book signing--sister Paris and mom Kathy Hilton are there. Looks like a great party and congrats to Nicky on her style book. Camille looks gorgeous as usual. Kyle angrily flips her hair, because Kim was wearing a shirt that she carries at “her” shop, but didn’t buy it there...whatever. Then Kyle whispers about her sister Kim to Lisa V. and Camille.
Kyle then tells them she is confused and impatient that Kim hasn’t confronted me over her third-hand Lisa R. gossip. She states Kim WILL be hurt and broken hearted over what “I” said… Kyle seems way too overy excited about that happening, which I find kind creepy. Why would anyone WANT their sister to be hurt or in pain?!

The preparations for Adrienne’s party are in full swing next. Lisa V. is fretting it, Kim is casually discussing the intervention GOSSIP with her makeup artist before the party, I’m getting ready and waiting for my friends and my date.

Adrienne’s party is the big finale of our journey this year. Everyone is there, and Adrienne always excels at events. So here we go. First off, my mind was not on the party at all. My father was recently hospitalized, and I didn’t leave his side for two weeks. It was very serious, but I had to return home to my boys. He was still not conscious, but I needed to get home to run my household--a party was the last place I wanted to be, but I had promised. That’s why I decided to bring the few people that I felt I could depend on in that moment. My friends and J.R. have been there for me during my father’s health scare and over more then a month of hospitalization--that was and is what remains what’s important to me.

The party seems like it was fun for a lot of people who weren’t involved in Kyle and Lisa. R.’s drama. I wish I were one of them, but in a way I was. As much as Kyle relished telling Kim the hurtful gossip she heard from LR, what she wanted to happen didn’t happen. There was no argument between Kim and I. We were happy to see each other. We spoke easily. I was busy worrying about my Dad; she was busy with her family.

What we saw on the finale was an efficient Kim quietly confronting Lisa R., then leaving Lisa R.'s table somewhat amused. Lisa R. couldn’t confirm the veracity of her gossip, because I DIDN’T SAY IT. Thanks again to Bravo for showing the truth in a flashback last week.

So, Kim knew who was who and what was what. The entertainment of the night was provided by Lisa R. going radio silent while Kyle begged for corroboration on her dramatic intervention gossip. Watching Yolanda, Eileen, and Lisa V. urge Lisa R. to support Kyle and verify her hurtful gossip was almost amusing. You can't confirm what didn't happen, can you?

In the end, I left the party early. Why? Not because of a past friendship with Lisa V. It's not her that made me cry--I was crying for my father, my dad! I was in no place to be at a superficial party, discussing a superficial incident with a person who was clearly not a friend, not that night. I said I would show up, and I did. After that, I wanted to be with my real close friends and family. Since this party my dad came out of the ICU and after 2 entire months and after a long stressful time I want to thank Dr. Allen Morris and all the doctors and nurses at Mercy General Hospital of Sacramento for saving my dad's life yet agin for the second time in 15 years. He is doing much better and continuing his hope of a full recovery. I am so thankful to all the people who were there for me and continue to be here for my family and I.

THAT is what life’s about, being with the people who truly love and care about you and the feelings are reciprocated.

As you hear, at the end of the finale, I am wistful, yet, wiser, and I think in a stronger place. I love and loved being there for Kim and being Kim’s friend, and I love that she was, is, and has been here for me. Even more so, I'm grateful and blessed to have Yolanda in my life; she is no bullsh--. Even when suffering herself, she is still so selfless. Yo is very special to me, I love her, she gets me, we have fun together, and I value every moment we spend together. I always will. As for the rest, I hope to share laughs and fun again, maybe tears, but hopefully only joy.

Peace Out. (deuces MFs--JK)

XOXO,

B

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