Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Dana's OK With That, Yolanda Isn't

Ep 17: Bravotv.com's Editor is feeling the love at vow renewals, photo shoots, and at Kyle's store opening.

Bonjour my favorite Parisian fans. We're wrapping up our time in Paris and wrapping up purchases at Kyle's new store. Let's dive right into this episode.

Seine and Not Heard
The women close out their tremendous trip with a lovely boat ride along the Seine. Lisa finds Kim to be a little more lucid on this trip, and Brandi finds Kim to be her favorite part of the journey -– even though Yolanda gave her those amazing shoes. Seriously. A gladiator heel for every single woman in the world! Men are temporary. Shoes are forever. I love that Yolanda could even fathom that Paris wouldn't be enough to buoy her spirits. Oh, time in one of the most splendid cities in the world not enough? How about a gift with purchase? And a far better gift with purchase than the myriad makeup bags I'm hanging on to.

But while Brandi is manless, Kim is still offering to put a friendship lock on Parisian bridges with her. (Side note: Does this deal work for all bridges? If so I've got a MasterLock I need to walk over to the Manhattan Bridge.) Fingers crossed these gals are in it for real. We could stand to have a few people getting along.

Back in BH, Marisa drops by Kyle's to ask Maurice to sell her father-in-law's home. It seems like a smart fresh start for her mother-in-law, and a nice way for Kyle and Mauricio to help the healing process. So here's hoping their partnership is a success.

In another part of Beverly Hills, Lisa calls in a little help of her own. It seems she is going to give this whole vow renewal thing a shot and so she calls in the most knowledgeable source on weddings Kevin Lee! And he brought his amazing loafers along to ensure it is as perfect as Pandora's big day was. The event will be a combo housewarming/vow renewal complete with heart-ches. Yes, heart-shaped arches. Even if that is not a traditional arch shape, Kevin Lee can do it. He's never met an arch he can't meld.

That I Hate
To keep their love alive, Yolanda and David are doing something all normal couples do -- having a romantic photoshoot for an Asian magazine. And as it turns out Yolanda has some strong opinions about things. David will hate her hair this way. She hates this dress. And are we even surprised. The lemon lady knows what she wants. David does not have a lot of time for this nonsense.

In the end she looked pretty banging in that silver/sheer dress. Barbara Streisand can wait when you look like that.

In a different decisive place, Kyle works to ensure her new store is stocked with the most amazing threads by sorting through sweatshirts, weird color blocking options and an amazing Cookie Monster style coat. We were only treated to brief glimpses of what Kyle chose, but the lady knows what she wants -- and what surely hoards of customers want too.

Looking Good, Feeling Good
And then, like a beacon of joy, Dana Wilkey returns to us. What's Dana been up to? She's gone through a little bit of a breakup and so now she's spending her days doing. . . well. . .as she explains: "I drink a lot and I'm OK with and I f--- a lot and I'm OK with it too."

That's one way to spend your time.

In other Dana news, she still hates Brandi -- which is leading her to have less than positive feelings about Adrienne, being that she was the original conduit to her and all (remeber that? Those two were once BFFs). She wants Taylor to watch her back around these ladies. You know, worse advice has been given by someone who has had a few drinks. It never hurts to be careful. 

And then the moment arrives, it's time for Kyle's big opening (well after Kim gets her spray tan). Kyle does some last minute futzing of the mannequins, sprinkles some Chanel around, and guarantees that everything looks beautiful. Then the ladies start rolling in.

Things seem to be going well until Taylor takes Dana's advice to heart. Taylor knows she and Yolanda still need to have their trenta-a-tete at the Starbucks, but Yo is seeming less receptive than she once was. Seems there was more gossiping in Paris, and Taylor's decision to mention that it's all about David doesn't really help. David's nice to all of his ex-wives (not just some!) so she needs to cool it. Yolanda doesn't want any bad apples in her fruit basket or glass door fridge, so she wants everyone to get their poop in a group as I like to say. In the end, the gals come to some sort of consensus, so it seems the fruit basket will be unspoiled for another day.

Also at the party, Adrienne and Paul. The pair has been fairly absent since the White Party (and even before), but Adrienne wants to arrive and avoid making a scene. And she seems to get her wish. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like next week's events will be quite so calm.

Kim also manages to make it to the party despite her tanning engagement. And she pulls Kyle aside to explain her behavior in Paris. She tells Kyle that she was out of it because of a mix-up with her medications.

Among the racks the sisters share a tender moment. Kyle knows Kim is trying really hard, and working her best to earn everyone's trust back. Kim knows she has to earn it back -- and she knows she can. Plus she can call Kyle. It was a very different, yet reminiscent, sit down to last year's tete-a-tete (no trentas here) between the sisters. Progress!

Next week hall passes and divorce drama runs rampant, until then, what did you think of Kyle's store? Did you think it was missing a heart-arch entrance? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Brandi on Hypocrisy and Double Standards

Brandi thinks the other 'Wives have major double standards, and she provides plenty of examples.

Hello Bravoistas!

It’s such a great week in California. Today I’m sunny, bright, and happy.

Just had the BEST weekend with my boys, cooked great food, met great friends, and even hung with my fave Leeza Gibbons. Super happy day today--I was nominated for a Podcast Award! The future’s so bright, I have to wear shades, but before the celebration, tonight’s blog on the latest RHOBH.

Well, you fans like drama, and you got your money's worth tonight. So let’s dive in. Tonight’s blog focus: hypocrisy and double standards.

I’m going to touch on the double standards of some of our Housewives. No need to name names. If you watch, you've already seen it. Let’s compare reactions.

Hyperbole: HORRIFIC
Jaws drop in stunned horror if I reply, ”I’ll knock your teeth out” (empty words thrown out when under verbal attack on RHOBH). Admittedly, not my greatest moment, but you try putting up with some of the “ladies” of Beverly Hills (or wherever they pretend to live). I will sincerely work on other ways to get crazy people yelling in my face to back up. Anyway, it’s called hyperbole, Kyle. Yeah, smart people know what that is. Kyle, look it up.
Violence: ACCEPTABLE
I mean real violence. Digging your fingers into someone’s arm to forcibly push them out of your way or grabbing for someone’s throat in anger isn’t worthy of being condemned by the same group. No mention at all. As a matter of fact, after they regrouped and arranged their group spin, it was Kim’s and my fault that Rinna is a crazy, violent person who throws dangerous broken glass in people’s faces. You women are over half a century old. Own your behavior.

Tossing an inch of wine: HORRIFIC
Tossing an inch of wine while “play acting soap opera” was worthy of pearl clutching and disgust usually reserved for when people find a mass grave. It’s called joking, horseplay, goofing, messing around. My intent was mischief. I was playing. It was misunderstood, but it’s not in the same league as violence.

Heaving broken glass at people’s faces: ACCEPTABLE
Reaching across a table to rip someone’s throat out with your nails, hurling a full drink with ice cubes in a face, and the best of all, purposefully smashing a large wine glass as hard as you can in the direction of my and Kim’s face wasn’t discussed at all. Yep. It never happened. I didn’t dig glass out of my skin, out of my ear, spend hours in the shower trying to get shards out of my hair cutting my fingers, oh, and picking it out of my clothes, so it didn’t get in my children’s laundry later on.

Notice they skate over it entirely, except to somehow shake their heads and blame Kim and me. Back at the hotel, Dr. Rinna declares us "unhappy,” instead of herself. That’s why she lost her mind when Kim hinted at her home life. Yep. Sure. Ok.

My Cursing: HORRIFIC
They act as though they’ve never heard four-letter words in their virgin lives. They “act” shocked and disgusted at all four-letter words.
Their Cursing: ACCEPTABLE
We see them use the same exact words all the time.

Adult humor at a Yo's Dinner Party by me: HORRIFIC
Get over it. I know Babyface, and he sang my joke. Ha!
Brawling at a Yo Dinner Party: ACCEPTABLE

My Sex Talk: HORRIFIC
Their Sex Talk: ACCEPTABLE.
Rinna’s “bush,” Harrys’ fascination with “bush,” her need for oral sex? Lisa V. constantly mentioning her pink pussy, her sex life, and “balls”? Cute.

Mentioning Kyle smokes weed: HORRIFIC
File under no big deal. Most people have, including the President. If you constantly refer to the truth as “dangerous,” Kyle, maybe change the way you live.

Kyle telling the world her sister is an alcoholic: ACCEPTABLE
Humiliating Kim’s children in front of the entire world. Yeah, helpful.

Let’s savor a few moments of the drama you guys like:

Kim was a cold-steel assassin. She walked in like Eastwood, armed, silent, detached, and took her seat. Then she waited. Rinna could have talked about ANYTHING in the world, but as we all know, she has nothing else to talk about. So, Kim waited. It took about five minutes. Rinna turned her gaze on Kim and started her Dr. Rinna addiction sermon for the 100th time and BAM.
“WHY DON’T YOU HAVE A PIECE OF BREAD?” 
Glass houses, folks. That’s all I’m saying. Glass houses.

Note Kim didn’t expose any of Rinna’s secrets. Kim only lets it be known that she COULD. All I’m saying is that if I had nothing to hide, I wouldn’t be trying to claw out someone’s throat, knocking chairs over, and breaking glasses at Yolanda’s dinner parties. Would you?

Other things you may have noticed tonight:

Eileen bent out of shape that Rinna made a peace pact with Kim. Looks like someone broke ranks to cover her ass. So, where would that leave superior Eileen if she couldn’t talk about Kim or me? Talking down to her husband? Picking a tomato? *yawn*

Kyle’s narcissism should be addressec, but I don’t have enough time. It’s a topic worthy of its own thesis. Me, my, and I are Kyle’s favorite three words, but let’s focus on tonight only. Special shout-out for not only failing to verbally defend your own sister but for not physically shielding your sister from physical, flying glass or even waiting to see if she had been hurt. 100% self-preservation in action, folks. Special mention for crying about how Rinna’s crying affected you more than Rinna. Kyle, you might be a narcissist if EVERYTHING that happens to everyone else is about you.

Lisa R. lying to everyone that “she has been very open,” and that she never talked to everyone about Kim behind Kim’s back was comedy gold. Comedy gold.

Oh, to have traveled to beautiful Amsterdam with only Yo and Kim. So much happened there that was also nice. Yolanda planned a wonderful trip. We all got to meet Yo’s mother, Ana, and brother, Leo, see her small town of Papendrecht, ride bikes, visit windmills, try incredible food, and learn more about Yo’s life before she left Holland to become a model. Yo’s brother is so smart and funny and cool, I wish you could have met him. Amsterdam is a fabulous place to visit with family and friends who really care about you. I was there 20 years ago when I was modeling in Europe and truly loved it.

The trip continues next week…

Ok, I’m going back to my sunny day, homework, my boys, and groceries.

Til next week, Bravo fans…

XOXO,

B

Read more about: