Hello my BHers. After the girls-gone-wild antics of Ojai, did you think we'd have another week of love fests? A jubilant episode filled with water gun fights and egg tosses back in the 90210 zip? Sadly that’s only half the case. Eggs were tossed, but they were far secondary to the accusations that were hurtled about. Let's recap.
I Am The Egg Man
We open with sweet Mauricio once again pranking someone to present them with a new car. It's a little confusing why he decided eggs would be such a good rouse for this one, but it worked. Congrats Alexis, aren't you glad that you aren't the subject of high school bullying, but instead are the owner of a sweet new ride? See, Mauricio made that gift even more delightful! The only way it could have been better would have been if Mauricio had toilet papered the car. Or perhaps put Alexis' underwear in the freezer as just an additional prank.
Next we see Brandi having a sitdown with her dear gay-gent. She's still shocked that the other ladies, despite their oodles of money, can't just be happy for her. She's also a little shocked that she has to put her picture on her tome. Oh Brandi, you goof. Of course people want to see your face. You using the F-word in the title is not enough for them to recognize that it's your book! However, if you can't get them to publish the title with the F-word, Truth Cannon is a fairly great alternate title.
You Got SUR-ved
Next we see Lisa prepping for a menu tasting at Sur. She's beginning the evening slightly miffed as one of her servers has pissed off a VIP client. After attempting to get some backstory from her boyfriend Jax, Lisa laws down the law with dear Stassi. Because she was drinking and then giving customers attitude, Lisa sends her home. Don't mess with the Pump, girl. I'm not sure if you've heard, but it's her rules and all.
Now that the staffing situation is cleared up (including insuring the Brandi's ex's ex won't be working), Lisa can focus on greeting her guests. And shockingly Kim arrives on the early side. This means that we are treated to Kim joking about taking off Ken's underwear. . .and then even better giving her sister the kind of "Where are you call?" Kim received from Kyle on so many occassions. Maybe Kim and Brandi do love each other!
Also to add to the many, many spin off show possibilities I've presented in this here blog, I give you one more: What about a program where Brandi and Kim just leave people voicemails? We just give them the whole Bravoleb rolodex and set them off. This could at least be enough for a holiday special.
Anyway, Lisa uses this as an opportunity to point out how great Kim is doing and ask her if she's doing as well as she looks. Kim mentions that she still struggles with certain people in her life. . . including some people at the table, you know, Kyle. But they are working on things. Hopefully by the next Housewives dinner we'll be toasting (with virgin drinks) to their wonderful relationship.
You Dropped a Bomb on Them
Of course, it wouldn’t be a Housewives dinner without some smack talking, and thus Adrienne comes up. Brandi has lots of choice things to say about the matter -- like a lot of things to say about the matter. Brandi is upset with Adrienne because she says that Paul and Adrienne asked her to say negative things about Lisa on Twitter. Kim is starting to squirm heavily in her chair at all this chatter. And then Brandi drops a bomb. . . .
Yes, a bomb that shall not be named, but a bomb all the same.
The ladies are shocked, and scuttle out quickly. Kim however, isn’t going to just let this drop. She hurries after Taylor to see what the ladies should do now. It's interesting to see Kim jump so quickly to the middle of this fray. Hopefully her getting involved doesn't make matters worse. . .
Bringing Hairy Back
Meanwhile, in another part of Beverly Hills away from Brandi's bombs, Paul is just trying to shred some lettuce. His desire for surgical precision makes the process slightly more difficult, but the barbeque must go on. While Paul is very particularly about the way he shreds his lettuce, he's less particular about his back hair. Seriously buddy. If you care so much for those Roma tomatoes, care as much about your back. Don't you have people around that are constantly prepping bodies for surgery? Couldn't they just give you a quick shave every once in a while? It's worth paying one of the nurses over time. I promise.
Paging Patient Todd
Speaking of prepping the area, the arrives for Ken to have his hip replacement surgery. While Lisa is nervous about him going under the knife, Ken has some concerns about his lodging. Will the hospital room have satin sheets? What's the TV like?
Even with the baller suite, Lisa is still anxious. She just loves Ken and wants him to be OK. Who can blame her? Show me an IV and I'm trembling. Show me a faux hip and I'm at miniature dog levels of shakes.
In the end, Ken is fine. He comes out a little groggy, forcing Lisa to attempt to revive him with few delicate touches. Thankfully he has a very attractive nurse to help guide him into lucidity. For the nurse's sake she might not want to get to handsy though, that's most definitely Lisa's job.
Things Get Real (Estate)
Next, the gang gathers together at one of Mauricio's major listings. Camille's brought her new beautiful (seriously, those curls) man Dmitri. Also, I must say tha the unit Mauricio is selling is ridic. Camille might not need a love nest, but it certainly wouldn't hurt to have one. Everyone needs a place for their boyfriend to "breakdance with their underwear on," which is apparently a thing Camille asks him to do.
After all that discussion of topless dancing, Adrienne arrives and is quickly greeted by Kim. You see, Kim isn't one for secrets, and so she decides to tell Adrienne what was said about her at Sur. . .
Paul is immediately incensed. Adrienne immediately mentions a lawsuit. This is heavy duty stuff. Kim tries to calm them down, realizing that perhaps this might not have been the best time. Sweet Kim just wanted them to know what happened -- not necessarily to cause World War III. Sadly, once the train left the station there was no turning back.
There's a lot of threats of touching, lawsuits, fingers in faces, swearing on children, lying accusations. It's pretty much the ideal environment for Mauricio to sell real estate (just kidding). At one point Adrienne says that Brandi is "full of drugs." Brandi accuses Adrienne's employees of saying negative things about here, only to have Adrienne say Brandi's employees do the same thing, only to have Brandi mention that she doesn't have employees. It was one of the more vocal and untamed fights we've head in Bev Hills.
Adrienne storms out, leaving the party in tatters, and the women to deal with the repercussions. And what will happen next? Brandi swears it’s just going to get worse. Yikes.
What do you think? Are you #TeamBrandi or #TeamAdrienne? Or just #TeamShirtlessDmitri? Leave your thoughts in the comments.