Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Housewives Actually Go Wild

Yolanda: These Are Teaching Moments

Kim: My Heart Felt So Big

Kyle: Kim and Monty's Relationship Is Unique

Lisa V.: I Needed an Uncomplicated Friendship

Brandi: Kim Is a Survivor

Eileen: Brooke Was a Gorgeous Bride

Lisa R.: I Couldn't Be More in My Element

Brandi: I Felt Like a Grown Up

Yolanda: I Was Doubting My Parenting Skills

Lisa V.: A Scare Can Be the Ultimate Lesson

Eileen: Yeah, Vincent and I Bicker Sometimes

Lisa R.: My Heart Ached for Yolanda

Kim: The Call No Parent Wants to Get

3 Clues to Next Week's Episode

Brandi: Not a Good Time for My Phone to Die

Lisa V.: Hindsight Is 20/20

Kim: The Words You Never Want to Hear

Yolanda: 50 Is the New 30

Eileen: A Long Career Is the True Award

Kyle: An Invite to a Party Isn't the Answer

Lisa R.: God Bless Michael Bolton!

Quiz: How Well Do You Remember Episode 3?

11 #RHOBH Reactions That Sum up Our Lives

Kyle: I Would Take A Road Trip Over a Plane

Lisa: When You Reach Out, You Are Rewarded

Kim: Brandi and I Always Seem to Have Fun

Yolanda: A Homemade Meal Goes a Long Way

Brandi: I Was Surprised Adrienne Was So Receptive

The Real Story Behind Lisa R.'s Depends Ad

3 Clues to Next Week's Episode

Quiz: How Well Do You Remember Episode 2?

3 Times the 'Wives Were Just Like Us

Quiz: How Well Do You Remember Episode 1?

Kyle: Brandi Was Looking for Trouble

Lisa: Kyle and I Have Always Had a Bond

Brandi: Lisa Made Up With Everyone But Me

Lisa's First Impression of the Ladies

Yolanda: Fasten Your Seat Belts

Q&A: How Are Camille, Adrienne, and Taylor Now?

3 GIFs You Have to See From Next Week's Ep

Housewives Actually Go Wild

Ep 5: Bravotv.com's Editor tries to make sense of the literal mud-slinging, arm wrestling, and do-si-do-ing in Ojai.

Let's be real Housewives fans. We've probably said that the girls have gone wild before. I'm sure I've put the phrase on this fair website countless times. Surely, it could have been used about Season 2's Game Night or the Malibu Beach dust-up or Season 1's Dinner Party from Hell.

However, tonight's episode was the actual closest approximation to the Joe Francis-coined usage of the term I've ever seen.

The ladies were loose! They were driving golf carts around at not-street-safe speeds. They were arm wrestling! They were flinging water at each other. It was like the camp counselors had gone to the city for the day and left the kids unattended. In short: they were adorable.

Let's try to make sense of all the good times, shall we?

Everyday I Write the Book
Of course, we didn't begin this episode in a good place. Instead we began with STFU-gate, and the ladies reacting to Brandi's outburst. Kim and Brandi took their tete-a-tete to the ladies room and managed to keep their goodwill flowing, but the rest of the gals were aghast about Brandi's language (despite Lisa mentioning that Brandi saying the "f-word" is basically the equivalent of her taking a breath).

Once everyone manages to get back to the table, Brandi apologizes for her language (not her interjection) and then deflects by changing her subject to her book deal. . .Perhaps they should have stuck with the prior conversation.

Yeah, sometimes meditation just isn't enough. Those pesky chakras just won't get into line between Taylor and Brandi. Maybe an autographed copy of her future tome will smooth things over?

Shut Up and Drive
The next morning the gals head out for some athletic endeavors. Before they head off to hike, we check in on Lisa and Brandi's twin beds. As you'd imagine, they're having a precious argument about who snores more disgustingly. Once they move off of their mutual piggy snores, Lisa tries to explain what a "gift" Brandi's comment was. Brandi explains that she's got some other axes to grind with Adrienne at the moment, leading me to believe that STFU was an all encompassing put-down.

Next the ladies lay eyes on the two most glamorous golf carts in the land. Did you know Bentley golf carts are able to off-road? As it turns out they are. Also, Kyle Richards is still afraid of most modes of transportation.

Next, the 'Wives attempt to play badminton. Surprise: they ladies skills are questionable. Not as Lisa's choice of footwear, but pretty underwhelming in the serve department.

Their Name is Mud
After all that fitness, the gals deserved to relax. So off to a soothing spa treatment they went. Kim has found her spiritual renaissance in clay. You can't get closer to God than letting the only thing between you and full nudity be clay, she remarks. Taylor remarks that this new sober Kim is just as wacky as the old one. Honey, I could have told you Richards was an individual all the way through years ago.

And then the rubdown begins. I say rubdown, without fear of over-stating anything because this was the most vaguely Sapphic thing we've put on the airwaves in some time. But before things could get actually sexual, the whole process devolved into a towel-throwing, water-spilling fight for the ages. For a second I thought someone had changed the channel and Porky's was on.

Oh Baby
After a much calmer dinner where the ladies discuss Yolanda's baby lamb treatments and the details of several of the women's childbirths (yes, really). The gals get head back to the room for some cocktails, shots of Patron specifically. Kim and Yolanda retire to bed, not before Kim accidentally tells Brandi she loves her, which might have been one of the most delightful Freudian slips in history. Let it come true God! Please let Kim love Brandi.

After that, things went like you would expect --- some arm wrestling and full press wrestling. Note: Adrienne cheats. Also, in case you're doing this at home, Taylor gave us her tips so you can wrestle like a Real Housewife.

This then devolved into gymnastics and underwearing switching. Did anyone else see Adrienne change clothes like three times? Woman could not find the proper outfit to flip in. Also, can we believe that Kyle didn't do the splits? Also, what was that knee-high jumping, do-si-do dance the ladies did? What was that? My brain can't even take what just went on. All I know is I wanted to get right out of my chair and do it with them.

But sadly, like cartwheels one must get back on their feet and back to Beverly Hills. And so the ladies pack their exclusively Louis Vuitton luggage and head home. Spending the majority of their car ride forcing Lisa to speak in an American accent. Note: I will now drive in a car with Lisa Vanderpump anywhere.

Sadly the car ride wasn't only a lesson in dialects. STFU-gate once again became the topic, leading Brandi to ponder a sit down, hash-out with Adrienne. However, from the looks of the previews that doesn't come soon enough.

Until then, what was your favorite moment in Ojai? Shots? Yolanda's driving? Kim accidentally professing her love for Brandi? Camille's gymnastic prowess?

 

 

Kim: My Heart Felt So Big

Kim discusses her daughter's wedding and her special relationship with Monty.

The countdown...Less than 10 days before Christmas! I hope you are almost ready for the holiday!

This is an exciting episode for me as I share with you all a peek into one of the most important days of our lives: The day my Brookie married the man of her dreams. Brooke and Thayer have known each other since birth, it's fate...God...love... I am truly blessed!


Kyle and Maurice's trip to Mallorca looked absolutely amazing! It looked like everybody had a great time. Yolanda always keeps her high. These situations put things into perspective for us. We love our children so much! We give me them everything inside us to make them strong young people, and at the end of the day, we can only hope that they are going to make the right choices.

It was cute watching Eileen go over her dialogue with her niece. It reminded me of my sisters and me. I was very happy to see that Lisa V. got her star on the Palm Springs Walk of Fame! How exciting to see all her fans dressed in pink! She looked so pretty, and Ken couldn't have looked prouder. Congrats to Lisa V., Ken and Giggy!

One of my favorites couples is David and Yolanda. Listening to the two of them, well I just love them together and the team that they make! They support and balance each other so perfectly, and that is also what makes them such great parents!
Oh Brandi and her podcast! Filtered and unfiltered, she's so damn funny! All day long!

I had no idea he would end up giving me one of the most wonderful gifts of my entire life, our daughter Brooke, or that he would be my best friend from that day forward.

Kim Richards

You all officially get to meet Monty! I met Monty when I was 19, on a blind date. Go figure! I had no idea he would end up giving me one of the most wonderful gifts of my entire life, our daughter Brooke, or that he would be my best friend from that day forward.

We were married for a brief time, but our hearts never parted! Giving birth to our daughter, we shared a bond, but our friendship has always been so deep. We have always made being parents to our daughter a priority. Monty has always been kind of a wanderer but has stayed at my home on and off over the last 15 years. In June, Monty was diagnosed with lung cancer, and I decided it was time for Monty to move in for good. He moved in full time with me, and I fixed a room where he is very comfortable and we all feel very good knowing Monty is where he needs to be and he is in good, loving hands! As you can see, Monty and I have a great friendship! We really do enjoy each other's company, and I can't imagine my life without him. So we are not thinking that way! Positive thoughts only!

Brooke and Thayer got engaged Christmas morning 2013. One of the most exciting phone calls and Christmases ever! Their plan was a destination beach wedding in 2015, however, our plans took a shift when we found out about Monty. Of course the most important thing right then was that Brooke could have her father walk her down the aisle, and that Monty would be strong enough! Brooke knew exactly what she wanted. She and I worked non-stop with an amazing team of people! From Mark Zunino designing the most amazing dress, Petals by David flying in the most Gorgeous Flowers, Glen our caterer, and our fantastic coordinator Vanessa, we were able to do just that.


Brooke and Thayer wed on August 2, 2014. It was only our family. A very intimate, private ceremony! The most magical and special evening . I wish I could tell you what I was thinking, the flashbacks to so many memories. Brooke was radiating with joy! More joy than I had ever seen come from that little face! She looked stunning! I, too, was overwhelmed with joy. I was so grateful to see her arm and arm with her dad, walking down the aisle, to join her soon-to-be husband. When she got to Thayer, each second became more and more intense! Then she looked over and at me and mouthed the words, "I love you." I thought I was going to fall out of my chair! My heart felt so big! 


The vows, the kiss, and then they were married!

Thank you for sharing this amazing, magical, and special moment with us!

xo,
Kim

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