Believe me, I know I am no Dr. Drew. Many would say it's the pot calling the kettle black, and I totally understand that. My intent was not to be judgmental or hypocritical, but to reach out as a friend, as others have done for me in the past. Taylor and I have discussed this before. I felt scared, as I don't want her to end up where I did! I've been really, really scared for Taylor. And we've discussed that between Taylor and I. Being an alcoholic in recovery I recognize some of Taylor's behavior as a red flag! As a friend I would like to help! We called Taylor and headed over to see her. I was so nervous and I told my sister on the way there that I didn't know exactly what to say, but I know I have to say something! When I sat down with Taylor, I wanted to cry because my heart went out to her. I understand where she's at and what she's going through. I opened up and told her how it affected me and my children and family. I was so relieved when she reacted the way she did and she was responsive! I was very glad we did it and I was just so relieved! You walk out the door to today I took the biggest sighhhh! I said to my sister on the way home, "Did I do that the right way???" I hope Taylor's OK with me because I care for her and Kennedy so much!
So I get a call. . .do you want to go to Paris? Well naturally, I'm a little hesitant to go on a trip with the girls!?! But then I thought YES! So exciting! This is the first trip I've been on in awhile where I'm together. I'm sober. I got a passport and driver's license! Aha!
So I started packing. . .I packed until 3 am! I was too afraid to go to sleep and miss the plane. The car picked me up and it was off to the airport! It was nice being on-time at the airport and being prepared with my passport and my driver's license in hand! It was also really nice sitting with my sister and being able to discuss with her some of the issues and things I used to do when I was drinking. It was such a relief for both of us. It feels so good not to have to keep secrets from each other any longer! As time goes on and things come out, the air gets lighter and lighter, and things get easier.
I felt so bad when Marisa called and we got the news. Such a tragedy and my condolences go to her and her family! Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.