Then there was Brandi. . .I hadn't seen her since last year and we left on a very bad note. I want to start by saying that I have NEVER once blamed Brandi for my problem with alcohol. I am an admitted alcoholic and have been for many years! I will own and take full responsibility for my actions. It is something that I battle with every day and something that although was private for a long time because a public battle. However, what I do blame Brandi for is what she accused me of! It was completely false and hurtful! However as you learn in recovery that you must forgive and it is extremely unhealthy to hold negative feelings towards someone. It has definitely taken some time but I would say we have made it through. . .so far.
Then there is my sister Kyle, it's no secret we have had our differences. You have watched our ups and downs, our happy times and our sad times. After coming home from treatment I felt like my sister and I had a real shot at a new beginning. I knew it wouldn't be easy and a lot of damage had been done, but I felt encouraged to mend one of the most important relationships in my life. I saw her few times and things were fine on the surface, but then I just didn't see her at all. I didn't feel the same comfort that I had with my sister in the past. . .things were awkward. Before the party at Villa Blanca, I asked my life coach to come by for support and to help me process all of these feelings! Then within seconds of seeing Kyle she mentioned my niece Portia's birthday.
I have always made it a priority to always participate in all my nieces' and nephews' birthdays, graduations, and any school events. I have rarely missed any important occasion, even on last minute notice! I can't say that on my children's special days that the same as been done for them. If you recall Kyle never even let me finish my sentence at Villa Blanca that night. I was trying to explain to Kyle that I hadn't been home that long, and was still trying to put back the pieces of my life together.