When we first sat down, Lisa said she could tell I was doing well, because I looked well. Those are things in early recovery that you need to hear. When Lisa asked me if I felt strong in my sobriety or if there are days that I felt like I could relapse, I tried to explain to her that there were people and situations that were frustrating, hurtful, or overwhelming for me. Those feelings and that pain that I had made me fearful of where those emotions could take me had I not dealt with them properly. That's why I was working with my life coach, my therapist, and PRAYER, which is a very big part of my recovery. And of course the Twelve Steps. These tools have given me the strength to stay sober through some very difficult times. Looking at my sister's face, I couldn't figure out exactly what she was feeling. When someone said "Is that person at the table?," to be quite honest, there were a few of them at the table that have sparked those emotions in me. But I genuinely care about all of them, so it's important for me to work through this for myself, and with them, while maintaining my sobriety the whole time, which is new for me.
Lunch was going great, until Brandi talked about what all went down with her and Adrienne.
When someone doesn't like someone or doesn't get along with them, sometimes they don't say very nice things. We've all been guilty of that, but I felt like Brandi talking against Adrienne, and all the girls just sitting there, while nobody was defending her or stopping it, was wrong. I almost felt new to the group, as I really am just getting to know everybody after two years. Brandi started with "Well, I think she lies a lot, doesn't have a book deal, and something about an argument over the phone regarding Lisa." But then, Brandi said something that made my mouth drop.