I love the beginning of this episode! Watching my sister give Alexia her first car was just so exciting. Once again, I remember and relate to this day. The look on Alexia's face, that shock, that excitement, mmmmmm. So exciting for all of them! Maurice had such a huge smile, looking soooo proud. And Alexia's big sister Farrah looking so little in that passenger's seat driving away -- haha. Have fun Alexia. Good luck!
I was really happy that Lisa included me at the tasting at Sur. Getting to know the girls is important to me, so getting dressed up and going to these events feels good. This was the first time I have been with girls in a small setting since I've been home from treatment. It wasn't a party. This was a lunch, just us girls. So yes, I was a little nervous, but excited.
After I arrived, Lisa, Brandi and I were discussing Ken's upcoming surgery. Lisa said she had some concerns about Ken not wanting to remove his underwear. I suggested Brandi for the job -- haha. I'll take care of Lisa, and Brandi can take care of Ken.
When we first sat down, Lisa said she could tell I was doing well, because I looked well. Those are things in early recovery that you need to hear. When Lisa asked me if I felt strong in my sobriety or if there are days that I felt like I could relapse, I tried to explain to her that there were people and situations that were frustrating, hurtful, or overwhelming for me. Those feelings and that pain that I had made me fearful of where those emotions could take me had I not dealt with them properly. That's why I was working with my life coach, my therapist, and PRAYER, which is a very big part of my recovery. And of course the Twelve Steps. These tools have given me the strength to stay sober through some very difficult times. Looking at my sister's face, I couldn't figure out exactly what she was feeling. When someone said "Is that person at the table?," to be quite honest, there were a few of them at the table that have sparked those emotions in me. But I genuinely care about all of them, so it's important for me to work through this for myself, and with them, while maintaining my sobriety the whole time, which is new for me.
Lunch was going great, until Brandi talked about what all went down with her and Adrienne. When someone doesn't like someone or doesn't get along with them, sometimes they don't say very nice things. We've all been guilty of that, but I felt like Brandi talking against Adrienne, and all the girls just sitting there, while nobody was defending her or stopping it, was wrong. I almost felt new to the group, as I really am just getting to know everybody after two years. Brandi started with "Well, I think she lies a lot, doesn't have a book deal, and something about an argument over the phone regarding Lisa." But then, Brandi said something that made my mouth drop.
When I heard it, I felt like a knife went through me for Adrienne. I couldn't believe what I had heard. As close as Adrienne and I have been over the last few years, I felt like if it were true, I would have known about it for sure. And if I didn't know, then she didn't want anybody to know. This is Adrienne's family, her loved ones are involved here. I feel like Brandi and I are just getting off to a good start and having some fun. Brandi said one time "You don't talk about my babies," and that was only about her kids going potty by the pool. She was soooo upset about that. I don't know what she would do if someone said something like this about her family. I'm sure looking back; she must see that this was wrong. I've gotten to know Brandi, and I feel she is a good person, and I'm sure she deep down she knows this is wrong to expose this family in this way. I had to get up and leave the table. I went into the ladies room to think about what I needed to do. I needed to say something to Brandi. I took a deep breath, came out very calm and I was ready to talk to Brandi. But the conversation had shifted when I came out, and it was not the right time.
When I got home, I called Adrienne right away, I thought it was important that she knew about this. This is not something that should get around, and Adrienne needs to make a phone call and stop this. This was something she needed to know.
When I saw Adrienne and Paul at Mauricio's event, I pulled them aside right away, since she hadn't called me back. This may have not been the right timing, but I just didn't feel it could wait. I thought maybe they could talk to Brandi and put a stop to this, as it could potentially be devastating to their family. I felt so bad for Paul and Adrienne. I just don't understand why nobody else spoke up on Adrienne and Paul’s behalf.
There is no nice ending to this situation at this point, but I did what I felt I needed to do as a friend. As far as Brandi and I go, we're good. I don't always agree with the things she says or does, but I'm sure she feels the same about me. I hope you all understand that I came from a caring place, and I didn't mean to make trouble for anyone. I just felt I had an obligation, as this could be harmful to any family, and especially my friends.
See you next week!