This week'e episode was very intense. SO much going on and emotions running so high.
Let's start at Yolanda's. The camera really doesn't do her lemon orchard justice. Those lemons go on for DAYS! I have never seen so many lemons in my life. In front of the house, in the back, on the side. . .LOTS of lemons.
Yolanda invited me over and was going to show me how to do the Master Cleanse. I have a lot of friends that have done it, but I have a hard time with the idea of not eating for days. I want to be healthy, and I do eat healthy, but I also allow myself to indulge when I really want to. It didn't taste bad at all -- but I just couldn't get myself to stick with it. I have always battled my weight and have tried EVERY diet imaginable. I'm just at a point in my life where being thin is not a priority. I'm willing to eat right and exercise, but not starve.
I am so happy and relieved to see my sister Kim strong and sober. She went through a lot over the years and I truly believe she is stronger than ever. It hurt me to hear her say to her life coach, "If you love someone, don't you pull them aside in private and tell them they need help?" My family and I had done that for many years. Always in private. However, I understand her anger about that night in the back of the limo. It's hard watching the show sometimes, especially since Kim and I are in such a great place right now. We are happy and finally able to be sisters again. We have to remind ourselves that things we have each said and done were in the past when we were both still angry, and to not let it affect where we are today. I will do everything in my power to keep it this way.
Later at the dinner party when Kim wanted to get into a serious conversation, my first thought was "Oh, no. Not here" I wanted to keep things "light" (as if that's possible these days). But I was happy to hear what Kim was saying and know we needed to have those conversations, as uncomfortable as they can make me sometimes. It is difficult bringing up the past, and I am grateful we are at point today where we can have these discussions without arguing. We both understand each other more today than we ever have.
I wanted Marisa to know the girls and I really can all have fun and (believe it or not) usually do. Things have been so bad lately because of the Adrienne and Brandi fight. It really is so sad. Unfortunately, the viewers don't know what Brandi said. If they did AND Adrienne hadn't hired a lawyer, people would see this in a very different light. A lot of people comment that others shouldn't get involved. EVERYONE is involved in this mess. Just like everyone has been involved in all the problems that we have gone through these last three years of following our lives.
We thought a night out on neutral ground would be fun and lighten things up. Brandi and I were fine and in a good place. I had already expressed my feelings when this first happened and then wanted to move forward. However, the subject is still too hot. It keeps coming up over and over again. Each time it gets brought up, more people get involved and more relationships are put to the test.
I have NEVER seen Mauricio like we all saw him in last night's episode. He is always the calm one in any situation. However, he felt strongly about the subject matter. Adrienne and Paul stopped socializing with the group after what Brandi said. Mauricio and Paul are good friends and he was hearing from Paul the pain that they were going through. Mauricio felt that a phone call would benefit Paul, Adrienne, AND Brandi. That is how he deals with problems -- directly.
It would be almost impossible for all of us to get together and not have the Adrienne/Brandi issue come up. So we either don't get together at all or we do and try not to discuss it. Since this is what is going on in their daily lives, it inevitably comes up, everyone starts chiming in and we have another disaster dinner.
Lisa and Ken were no longer friends with Adrienne and Paul and Mauricio was not friends with Brandi. It's natural they would each want to protect the people that they are friends with. It was upsetting on so many levels. I wanted Mauricio and Ken to stop because they are also friends and usually the voice of reason when we are having problems. Our dinner continues next week.
Until then. . .