Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Don't Take Marisa So Seriously

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Let Them Eat Cake!

Kyle: I Couldn't Do Anything Right in Kim's Eyes

Lisa V.: Everything Is About to Boil Over

Brandi: Someone Poked the Wrong Bear

Lisa R.: Kim Tends to Forget Key Events

Eileen: Kim’s Emotions Are Already Running High

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Caught In The Crossfires

Lisa V.: I'm Not Afraid of Kim

Eileen: Kim Has Exhibited Disturbing Behavior

Lisa R.: Why Do You Want People to Fight Over You?

Kim: I Shouldn't Have to Defend My Actions

Brandi: Having Fun for A Change

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Shock and Suprise

Kim: Brandi And Kyle's Feud Has Nothing To Do With Me

Brandi: Addiction Is Not a Negative Label or Insult

Kyle: Brandi Pulls Out Her Dagger to Deflect

Lisa V.: At What Point Is It Enough?

Eileen: Is There Any Line Brandi Won't Cross?

Lisa R: Let's Call a Spade a Spade

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Battle Between Sisters

Brandi: I'm a Ride or Die Friend

Lisa R.: Everyone Needs to Own Their Sh--

Kyle: Brandi Puts Out Lies, Hoping They Will Stick

Eileen: Brandi Is Acting Like a Mafia Enforcer

Lisa V.: Brandi's Behavior Was Unnerving to Watch

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: A Clash and an F-Bomb

Brandi: Lisa R. Should Be Disappointed in Herself

Kim: Don't Mistake My Sadness for Weakness

Kyle: I Have Never Had Anyone Put a Hand on Me

Lisa V.: I Tried to Warn Kyle

Eileen: Brandi Attacks, Then Deflects

Lisa R.: Kyle Didn't Create This Drama

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: More Fighting and a Peeping Tom

Kim: Kyle Should Be Worried, Not Embarrassed

Brandi: Kyle Wants to Help When There's an Audience

Kyle: This Was Brandi's Master Plan

Lisa V.: Kim's Demeanor Was Questionable

Eileen: Brandi Loves to Stir the Pot

Lisa R.: It Felt Just As Awkward As It Looked

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Disgust and a Push

Don't Take Marisa So Seriously

Marisa's fed-up with the tiffs between Lisa, Kyle, Brandi, and Adrienne... and she's not jealous of Yolanda.

So last week I took some flak for my comments about Yolanda. Let me clarify. . .I was simply having fun with Yolanda's persona. . .without malice or mean spirit. While I don't know her well, what I do see is a wonderful woman who adores her children and husband and lives an immaculate lifestyle. If Saturday Night Live did a Stepford skit on how perfect her life is, it would be funny and perhaps might even include a tipsy Housewife spilling wine on her white pants. Nobody would think twice about it, and haters wouldn't be emerging from the woodwork to accuse Lorne Michaels of being bitter and jealous of Yolanda's life. The point here is that everything I say (or write) should be taken with a giant salt lick. . .not too seriously and not too literally. Hopefully over time you will learn to know me better and understand my personality.

With that being said, let's enjoy this week's episode. . .

A gremlin causes Kyle's auxiliary wardrobe rack to collapse, which Mauricio finds quite amusing, but he's also unsympathetic to her plight and tells her to get rid of the excess apparel. I can relate; Dean would tell me the exact same thing. Mauricio, looking good in purple, primps one last time before his deep concern sets in over Kyle's anxiety brought on by tension with Lisa. Kyle aims to fix this and Maseratis over to Villa Rosa. . .

After pleasantries are exchanged, Lisa and Kyle talk in circles as they attempt to make amends and find a way to broker peace amongst all the feuding women. Their meeting concludes with a tepid truce. . .I'm not buying that it will last. For what it's worth, I understand Lisa's being miffed at Kyle not defending her, but at the same time, Lisa is strong enough to fight her battles on her own. . .

At the equestrian center with Brandi and Yolanda, we learn that Yolanda can only afford one horse for her daughter to train with when all the other kids in the neighborhood have two or three! I was wrong about Yolanda's life -- it's not perfect. Brandi makes me laugh (or cackle like a hyena as Dean would put it) when she says she would "implode" if she signed the gag order from Adrienne. . .I like this woman and agree with Yolanda that Brandi has done all she can to diffuse the situation. Yolanda then tees off on Adrienne unmercifully. . .and a billion people in China are also wondering, "Who in this world is Adrienne Maloof?"

Off to Lisa's lovely tea party where Brandi is first to arrive. Ken drops a wicked line about all women being the same size when lying down in bed. . .which may in fact be true, but the same thing cannot be said about men. Brandi becomes a little nervous and excited at the sight of Peter/Jax, the beefcakes from SUR hired by Lisa to work the event. Taylor arrives next with a present for Lisa, a vibrator, always an appropriate gift for a ladies' tea. After Brandi takes Taylor on a tour, I arrive and it's time for me to be misinterpreted. . .again.

It begins when Brandi brings up my "nice husband" (which she has a penchant for doing) and Taylor tries to put words in my mouth about Dean which I've never said. . . I respond to that effect but add in jest that it would be nice to have "a change" after having sex with the same person for 16 years. . .and meanwhile, Jax of Peter/Jax just stares off into space. Saying what I said doesn't mean that I'm doing it. . .it just means that I said it. I call bullshit on any man or women in a long term relationship who say they haven't thought (at least once) of making whoopee with someone new.

Adrienne, Kyle, Faye, and Camille turn up and we're almost ready for tea with the ladies! Unfortunately, Kim calls to bow out after taking a vicious canine uppercut to her surgically repaired schnozz. We all take our seats and, to no one's surprise, Lisa has out done herself. . .the arrangements look beautiful and there's a gift for each of us on our chair. I'm really loving Mrs. Vanderpump! As Lisa sits at the head of the table and extends an olive branch to all the women I can't help but think how similar their situation is to the conflict in the Middle East. . .maybe, just maybe, there will be progress. Of course not.

Not before long, the conversation shifts from Taylor's gymnastics (emphasis on "ass") to lies and lawsuits. Despite Lisa's sidebar to keep the afternoon civil, the rabble-rousing Taylor brings up the infamous "letter" from Adrienne to Brandi. . . and here we go, yet again.

I could almost hear the late Rodney King saying, "Can't we all get along?" Neither Adrienne nor Brandi gives any ground on this subject, each repeatedly denying the other's accusations. Twitter and a chef named Bernie get a few nice shout outs but nothing is resolved, and Brandi abruptly leaves ending the festivities. Having not been privy to all the particulars of this tiff, it's difficult for me to cast judgment. . .but if I had a gun to my head and had to, I'd say Adrienne was being less than truthful.

Until next week. . .

xx
Marisa

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Kyle: I Couldn't Do Anything Right in Kim's Eyes

Kyle discusses the building tension between herself and Kim and what it was like to kiss Steven Tyler.

Yolanda invited us all to do the Fantastic Race. I had no clue what we were in for. When we arrived, I was happy and relieved to see Camille and even HAPPIER when I found out Brandi and I were on the same team. Phew!

Once we started, I was unexpectedly into it. I really liked this running around Beverly Hills, playing childhood games. I had to laugh, because all the women were tortured to have to actually drink a shake! Hehe! All in all, I think it was a great idea and something none of us had ever done (except forLisa R.). It certainly wasn't going to repair the issues between Brandi and me, but we both went along with the game. At this point I was relieved we could actually be in the same room and be civil, even though I knew we would never be friends. I had to laugh when Brandi said "Aggressive Spice” to the girls outside of Villa Blanca. Hey! That's my line that I used on HER. Haha.

It was all worth it (or so we thought it would be), because the reward was a trip to Amsterdam! I had never been and always wanted to go. Of course I had imagined going with Mauricio, but I thought it would be fun--at least with most of the girls.

On the way to Amsterdam, Yolanda invited the women to stop in Calgary, because she and David were hosting a big event for The David Foster Foundation. Lisa R., Brandi, Kim, and I joined Yolanda. Kim had expressed to me privately that she wasn’t happy with Lisa R. I told Kim Lisa was worried, and Brandi told Kim she was questioning her sobriety after poker night. Knowing what we know now, it's frustrating watching Brandi not explain her role in that conversation. Lisa R. had actually gone to talk to Brandi about HER behavior, and Brandi quickly turned it around and made it about Kim. Brandi also expressed concern and revealed things that I know Kim wouldn't appreciate, and yet she went to Kim and said, “I just want you to know what Lisa R. has been saying."

When Kim and I discussed her issues with Lisa R., I told Kim she should pull her aside privately and let her know that while she appreciates the concern, she didn't appreciate her talking about it to other people. I said that Lisa R. would understand, and the issue would be dropped.

As soon as we arrived to the plane, Kim was giving Lisa the cold shoulder. When Kim and Lisa R. started getting into it, I wanted to get a parachute and jump off the plane. It was so uncomfortable being stuck in between the two of them. Kim was then mad at me for looking uncomfortable. Oh boy. This should be fun...

Calgary was amazing in spite of the awkwardness on the plane. The event was beautiful and such an amazing cause. The event raising $8.2 million dollars was truly impressive. The energy in the room was so exciting. I am a huge fan of many of the people who performed that night. It was so nice to see these people coming together to help these children. The highlight of the night came when Steven Tyler and I danced together on stage to "Walk This Way" AND he kissed me! OMG. I still can't believe that happened! I've always loved his music, and he was so kind, fun, and generous that night that I am an even bigger fan now.

When we arrived in Amsterdam we stopped for a moment to use the restroom, and I set my bag aside, and then we resumed walking out. After we were downstairs, I realized I had left my bag there. I felt terrible and told the girls to go ahead, but they decided to wait. Brandi and Kim were clearly annoyed with me, but it was an accident. What can I say? We were all jet lagged, and I wasn't exactly at my sharpest. The topper was when we all crashed on the escalator and Brandi actually hurt her leg. It didn't look like that big of a deal on camera, but it was actually scary. It was a full escalator, and we were all starting to pile on top of each other. Luckily someone hit the stop button.

I couldn't do anything right in my sister's eyes, and things only get worse from here on.

Kyle Richards

Outside, Kim turned to me and snapped at me again. First she said I blamed her for the escalator mishap (which I did not), then said whenever she's late I laugh at her and leave her. She was referring to Season 2 when we were going to Hawaii, and she left her passport and missed the flight. I never laughed and made fun of her. I was frustrated and couldn't exactly make the plane wait for her. I couldn't do anything right in my sister's eyes and things only get worse from here on.

Next week is the most intense moment we have ever had in five seasons of RHOBH...

Thanks for watching and sharing our ups and downs with us.

XO,

Kyle

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