Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Don't Take Marisa So Seriously

Marisa's fed-up with the tiffs between Lisa, Kyle, Brandi, and Adrienne... and she's not jealous of Yolanda.

So last week I took some flak for my comments about Yolanda. Let me clarify. . .I was simply having fun with Yolanda's persona. . .without malice or mean spirit. While I don't know her well, what I do see is a wonderful woman who adores her children and husband and lives an immaculate lifestyle. If Saturday Night Live did a Stepford skit on how perfect her life is, it would be funny and perhaps might even include a tipsy Housewife spilling wine on her white pants. Nobody would think twice about it, and haters wouldn't be emerging from the woodwork to accuse Lorne Michaels of being bitter and jealous of Yolanda's life. The point here is that everything I say (or write) should be taken with a giant salt lick. . .not too seriously and not too literally. Hopefully over time you will learn to know me better and understand my personality.

With that being said, let's enjoy this week's episode. . .

A gremlin causes Kyle's auxiliary wardrobe rack to collapse, which Mauricio finds quite amusing, but he's also unsympathetic to her plight and tells her to get rid of the excess apparel. I can relate; Dean would tell me the exact same thing. Mauricio, looking good in purple, primps one last time before his deep concern sets in over Kyle's anxiety brought on by tension with Lisa. Kyle aims to fix this and Maseratis over to Villa Rosa. . .

After pleasantries are exchanged, Lisa and Kyle talk in circles as they attempt to make amends and find a way to broker peace amongst all the feuding women. Their meeting concludes with a tepid truce. . .I'm not buying that it will last. For what it's worth, I understand Lisa's being miffed at Kyle not defending her, but at the same time, Lisa is strong enough to fight her battles on her own. . .

At the equestrian center with Brandi and Yolanda, we learn that Yolanda can only afford one horse for her daughter to train with when all the other kids in the neighborhood have two or three! I was wrong about Yolanda's life -- it's not perfect. Brandi makes me laugh (or cackle like a hyena as Dean would put it) when she says she would "implode" if she signed the gag order from Adrienne. . .I like this woman and agree with Yolanda that Brandi has done all she can to diffuse the situation. Yolanda then tees off on Adrienne unmercifully. . .and a billion people in China are also wondering, "Who in this world is Adrienne Maloof?"

Off to Lisa's lovely tea party where Brandi is first to arrive. Ken drops a wicked line about all women being the same size when lying down in bed. . .which may in fact be true, but the same thing cannot be said about men. Brandi becomes a little nervous and excited at the sight of Peter/Jax, the beefcakes from SUR hired by Lisa to work the event. Taylor arrives next with a present for Lisa, a vibrator, always an appropriate gift for a ladies' tea. After Brandi takes Taylor on a tour, I arrive and it's time for me to be misinterpreted. . .again.

It begins when Brandi brings up my "nice husband" (which she has a penchant for doing) and Taylor tries to put words in my mouth about Dean which I've never said. . . I respond to that effect but add in jest that it would be nice to have "a change" after having sex with the same person for 16 years. . .and meanwhile, Jax of Peter/Jax just stares off into space. Saying what I said doesn't mean that I'm doing it. . .it just means that I said it. I call bullshit on any man or women in a long term relationship who say they haven't thought (at least once) of making whoopee with someone new.

Adrienne, Kyle, Faye, and Camille turn up and we're almost ready for tea with the ladies! Unfortunately, Kim calls to bow out after taking a vicious canine uppercut to her surgically repaired schnozz. We all take our seats and, to no one's surprise, Lisa has out done herself. . .the arrangements look beautiful and there's a gift for each of us on our chair. I'm really loving Mrs. Vanderpump! As Lisa sits at the head of the table and extends an olive branch to all the women I can't help but think how similar their situation is to the conflict in the Middle East. . .maybe, just maybe, there will be progress. Of course not.

Not before long, the conversation shifts from Taylor's gymnastics (emphasis on "ass") to lies and lawsuits. Despite Lisa's sidebar to keep the afternoon civil, the rabble-rousing Taylor brings up the infamous "letter" from Adrienne to Brandi. . . and here we go, yet again.

I could almost hear the late Rodney King saying, "Can't we all get along?" Neither Adrienne nor Brandi gives any ground on this subject, each repeatedly denying the other's accusations. Twitter and a chef named Bernie get a few nice shout outs but nothing is resolved, and Brandi abruptly leaves ending the festivities. Having not been privy to all the particulars of this tiff, it's difficult for me to cast judgment. . .but if I had a gun to my head and had to, I'd say Adrienne was being less than truthful.

Until next week. . .

xx
Marisa

Read more about:

You May Also Like...

Recommended by Zergnet

Brandi: I'm Always Here For You, Kim

Brandi focuses on the positive this week as this season's RHOBH comes to an end.

Hey Bravo Fans,

Today was a fabulous day--t was my baby Jake’s birthday. We got his favorite Oreo ice cream cake, and for our family celebration, it was perfection. I can’t believe he’s already eight. I had to hold back my tears when I realized I will never again use that number eight candle. #mommymoment

It has been a really exciting week for me. My Sonoma County chardonnay, Unfiltered Blonde, launched for pre-sales this week, and despite it being tax season, the first day alone was a huge success. Thank you! The website is up now at www.unfilteredblonde.com. The creation of the wine was an incredibly long and careful process, and I couldn’t be happier or more proud of my finished product. I’m sure you're all as excited as me that this week was the FINALE episode of BATSH-- crazy RHOBH reunion. 

I could talk about the she said, she said, she said… but let’s not and pretend we did. It’s been a long season, kind of centering on one night that really isn’t worth the attention it was given. I’m tired of it, it happened several months ago, I’m sure you’re tired of it. You know why? Because it’s old news and in the PAST! 

Eileen, your house is lovely. Sorry I said otherwise for the sake of a laugh. I really like Vincent, he is super cool, your little boy is adorable, you seem like a good stepmom, and I wish you and your family the very best.

Lisa R., I really loved you on my podcast. You made me laugh and rolled with punches. I really enjoyed our interview, and I enjoyed most of the season with you. I think that’s what I’m going to take away and forget about the rest. I think sometimes you make it harder on yourself with your Twitter feed, but I’m choosing not to engage. I really liked a side of you, and you seem to have a beautiful family.

Lisa V., I had a lot of fun with you and Ken. I will always have a special place in my heart for you guys. I wish Ken the best of health and a speedy recovery. 

Kyle, best wishes on you and your family’s endeavors. My sincerest wish is that you and Kim could be as close as you ever were in the near future.

You are a strong chica and I know your family is better for it. 

Brandi Glanville

Kim, love having you as a BFF. I’m always here for you, and I hope you are always here for me. You are a strong chica, and I know your family is better for it. You are hilarious, and I love our funny talks and text-offs. Laughter is the best medicine. I heart you.

Yo, my dear, dear Yo, I will see you soon. I love you, you are so strong and so brave! I know you are going to kick Lyme disease’s ass! Anything you need, just emoji me.

I want to thank all my supporters for always being there for me regarding all of my other endeavors, including my books, podcast, Celebrity Apprentice, app, my t-shirts, and finally my WINE and for allowing me to be me.

Ok guys, this is the big week. This is the Make*A*Wish Los Angeles Walk for Wishes Walkathon. Me and the boys pledged to try to raise $15,000--I have $12,625 so far. We need $2,375 by Friday at midnight, every dollar counts. Thank you!

I heart you all!

Xoxo

B

P.S.  Here’s my Make*A*Wish YouTube video that I made in my kitchen. youtu.be/DTKMTDs6-R4 

Read more about:

You May Also Like...

Recommended by Zergnet