Cast Blog: #RHOBH

The Adrienne and Brandi Show

Marisa thinks the reason the women are so skinny is because they can't have an incident-free dinner.

BRAVO to the Baltimore Ravens on their thrilling Superbowl victory!!! One for the ages I'm told and I didn't watch a single play.

Now on to far more important matters...

One of the great aspects about the Housewives' experience is the opportunity to examine my behavior when the show airs. Some audiences are surprised that I have been very quiet on the show, but I must remind them that I was brought in by Kyle and didn't know any of the other women. Most of the women's conversations continued (ad nauseam) to revolve around drama that occurred well before I came into the picture and did not involve me, so I chose not to insert myself unnecessarily. It was actually awkward at times as I sat there speechless thinking "Really? We're going to dredge up this again?" I recall trying to change the subject on occasion, but those attempts fell on deaf ears. I'll give them this much...these women are committed to their drama.

Pole dancing can be great exercise, an art form, or a way to line your pocket with mostly one dollar bills in front of guys I definitely wouldn't want to bring home...none of which particularly excites me.

Don't get me wrong, any woman who benefits from spinning around upside down with her legs in the air should by all means stick with it...The opportunities could be endless. I tried hiding and avoiding taking a turn on the pole, but when Brandi called my name I decided to give it the old college try...and since I never went to college, the results were as expected. I'm glad the other girls were able to have some fun though.

Riding back to the hotel, Kim shared her interest in a "nose job," which Yolanda thought was a mistake. Although Yolanda's intentions likely came from a good place, she hardly knows Kim and what may or may not be best for her. At the end of the day, we need to make our own choices in life and learn and grow from them. I think Kim is very happy with her decision...good for her.

I was hungry at this point and envisioning an evening of fabulous food, fine wine, and stimulating conversation. Everyone appeared in good spirits, so I thought we may finally enjoy a dinner without a fight breaking out. How naive of me to think it was possible to have a civilized dinner with these women, right? It must be an unwritten rule that something distasteful must go down at every meal. Perhaps this is how the girls stay so thin...they never end up eating and chew each other out instead.

Fortunately, I spilled red wine on my dress, which was enough to shift the energy temporarily. Most of the women were helpful and that was very sweet, but Yolanda just gave me a disapproving stare. Not sure where that came from. All I could think was "Thank God I didn't spill that red wine at Yolanda's house because if it upset her in Vegas, I would really be up s--- creek in Malibu."

Maybe Yolanda has never spilled a drink before, which wouldn't surprise me since her life is so pristine and perfect that it just wouldn't fit in with her image. That said, I am admittedly clumsy and this won't be the last time I spill a drink. As for the stain, I remembered my mother-in-law once told me advice Barbra Streisand gave her, white wine can be used to remove red wine stains. Thank you Babs, it worked!

After a break in the action, we're back for yet another encore performance of the Adrienne and Brandi saga that we just can't seem to get enough of. A quick blow-by-blow recap: Kyle sticks up for Adrienne in absentia, Camille walks away because she's afraid she may say something she may regret....Not to worry, Kyle convinces her to return and you guessed it, Camille says something she may regret and asserts Lisa does not own SUR which leads Brandi to announce that Adrienne may not have said stake in The Palms and Yolanda points out the obvious that we have spent three dinners talking about Adrienne and Brandi's drama.

Well, I haven't been talking about it, but I've been forced to listen to it and can't help but thinking where's Dean to ask "Who's ready for dessert?" The melee subsides, but not before Yolanda deduces that Kyle loves the drama. I'll let you be the judge of that since it's none of my business, and I'm not going to speak up just to hear the sound of my own voice.

Thank you for indulging in my blog.

Until next week...

xx,
Marisa

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Lisa V.: I Have Lost My Patience

Lisa V. explains what frustrated her most about the reunion. 

A week has quickly flown by, and here we are as the curtain rises on the first part of this intense trilogy.
The reasoning behind the reunion is for all the feelings that have manifested over the past nine months to come to the surface, an emotional pregnancy born out of the complicated relationship between us women. Feelings that have simmered for many weeks as we witness what each have said then start rising to the top and sometimes boil over.
This was not a demanding season for me. I almost had some sort of reprieve after last year, but I identified with the feelings of trepidation in some others as Andy introduces us. As always, a spark of honesty as I state sarcastically, "My favorite day of the year."
This year I felt drastically different than last. I wasn't of the mind to digest any of the nonsense that potentially would be spewed by some. I felt almost a certain vindication as I knew there were some whom had done an excellent job of exposing themselves.
I felt sympathy for Yolanda as I could see a genuine struggle with composure as Andy asked after her welfare. Life has been challenging of late for her, and I could see that clearly.
I almost giggled as I sat opposite Eileen, who I am certain had never been part of something so intriguing. It is a unique experience, for sure, and one that lasts for often more than nine hours.
I have no idea how Kim and Kyle must've felt opposite each other after not seeing or speaking for many months. The two of them, at times, have appeared as close as any siblings I have known, and then this confrontation in such a public forum has to be somewhat overwhelming. Kim, as we have attested to this season, has the potential of being pretty venomous, and I wouldn't relish being on the receiving end of that.


In regard to BG, I am not apologizing for my feelings of being utterly incredulous at almost everything she says, as she has, over a rather long period of time, created an idiotic perception of what she believes to be reality. She doesn't see things clearly. She doesn't understand why it is offensive to go home and f--- my son Max's best school friend from when we lived in France (he and his twin brother Alex were extremely close for years), then state this young boy has a nice c--k on national television. But then to remark that I was jealous he didn't want to f--- me is a classic example of why I can no longer interact with her, a classless attempt to embarrass me but, in fact, has the reverse effect and ultimately embarrasses herself.


She doesn't comprehend the issue I have with the fact that as she cosies up to Kim, she has this urge to demean Kyle in the process, and for Yolanda to continually defend her, I find exasperating. I knew Yolanda had little stamina and wasn't wanting to press her, but the situation certainly begged the question as to why BG is held to a different standard. I feel protective of Bella and was incensed that BG would liken an unfortunate incident to her own drinking situation, and yes there is one. That is why when BG says she didn't have one, if that is what she chooses to believe, well then I have to enlighten her that unfortunately the ramifications of her indulging are US dealing with her verbal aggression or uncalled for physicality.
I have lost my patience, and after being the victim of her lies, I am in no mood to pussy foot around her. Do I have any issues with her personally? No. As she lay her hands on me, it was the straw that broke the camel's back, and I have nothing further to say, but I have seen the venom that spouts from her, and I will defend vociferously if I have to.
It was a demanding day, and I am as intrigued as you to see this come to fruition.
You never have to worry too much. If you are of good character, all will become evident in the end.
So as we wrap this up, no I didn't have an affair with my trainer (I don't have one), I didn't want to sleep with my son's best friend, and I will watch my back.
Until next week...Love, Lisa.

 
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