Cast Blog: #RHOBH

The Adrienne and Brandi Show

Marisa thinks the reason the women are so skinny is because they can't have an incident-free dinner.

BRAVO to the Baltimore Ravens on their thrilling Superbowl victory!!! One for the ages I'm told and I didn't watch a single play.

Now on to far more important matters...

One of the great aspects about the Housewives' experience is the opportunity to examine my behavior when the show airs. Some audiences are surprised that I have been very quiet on the show, but I must remind them that I was brought in by Kyle and didn't know any of the other women. Most of the women's conversations continued (ad nauseam) to revolve around drama that occurred well before I came into the picture and did not involve me, so I chose not to insert myself unnecessarily. It was actually awkward at times as I sat there speechless thinking "Really? We're going to dredge up this again?" I recall trying to change the subject on occasion, but those attempts fell on deaf ears. I'll give them this much...these women are committed to their drama.

Pole dancing can be great exercise, an art form, or a way to line your pocket with mostly one dollar bills in front of guys I definitely wouldn't want to bring home...none of which particularly excites me.

Don't get me wrong, any woman who benefits from spinning around upside down with her legs in the air should by all means stick with it...The opportunities could be endless. I tried hiding and avoiding taking a turn on the pole, but when Brandi called my name I decided to give it the old college try...and since I never went to college, the results were as expected. I'm glad the other girls were able to have some fun though.

Riding back to the hotel, Kim shared her interest in a "nose job," which Yolanda thought was a mistake. Although Yolanda's intentions likely came from a good place, she hardly knows Kim and what may or may not be best for her. At the end of the day, we need to make our own choices in life and learn and grow from them. I think Kim is very happy with her decision...good for her.

I was hungry at this point and envisioning an evening of fabulous food, fine wine, and stimulating conversation. Everyone appeared in good spirits, so I thought we may finally enjoy a dinner without a fight breaking out. How naive of me to think it was possible to have a civilized dinner with these women, right? It must be an unwritten rule that something distasteful must go down at every meal. Perhaps this is how the girls stay so thin...they never end up eating and chew each other out instead.

Fortunately, I spilled red wine on my dress, which was enough to shift the energy temporarily. Most of the women were helpful and that was very sweet, but Yolanda just gave me a disapproving stare. Not sure where that came from. All I could think was "Thank God I didn't spill that red wine at Yolanda's house because if it upset her in Vegas, I would really be up s--- creek in Malibu."

Maybe Yolanda has never spilled a drink before, which wouldn't surprise me since her life is so pristine and perfect that it just wouldn't fit in with her image. That said, I am admittedly clumsy and this won't be the last time I spill a drink. As for the stain, I remembered my mother-in-law once told me advice Barbra Streisand gave her, white wine can be used to remove red wine stains. Thank you Babs, it worked!

After a break in the action, we're back for yet another encore performance of the Adrienne and Brandi saga that we just can't seem to get enough of. A quick blow-by-blow recap: Kyle sticks up for Adrienne in absentia, Camille walks away because she's afraid she may say something she may regret....Not to worry, Kyle convinces her to return and you guessed it, Camille says something she may regret and asserts Lisa does not own SUR which leads Brandi to announce that Adrienne may not have said stake in The Palms and Yolanda points out the obvious that we have spent three dinners talking about Adrienne and Brandi's drama.

Well, I haven't been talking about it, but I've been forced to listen to it and can't help but thinking where's Dean to ask "Who's ready for dessert?" The melee subsides, but not before Yolanda deduces that Kyle loves the drama. I'll let you be the judge of that since it's none of my business, and I'm not going to speak up just to hear the sound of my own voice.

Thank you for indulging in my blog.

Until next week...

xx,
Marisa

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Eileen: Kim Is Acting Completely Unhinged

Eileen talks about arriving in Amsterdam, the drama that has already taken place, and her fears for the rest of the trip.

I was thrilled to arrive in Amsterdam…that is until the about five minutes in, when Lisa R. filled us in on what happened on the plane with Kim.

It’s very disturbing (is this my most-used word of the season?) that Kim is being so vicious. I appreciate Lisa R. warning me that Kim was “coming after me.” But I have to ask, why? Even if she didn’t like my methods, I have been genuinely concerned for her.

It’s very tense when Kim joins us in the lobby. I was just hoping everyone could have a pleasant trip, starting with a nice first meal together as a group.

At dinner, I was really touched when Yolanda shared with us her feelings about what happened with Bella. I loved what she said about showing your true core. I wholeheartedly agree, and I was happy to think we were going to go to a deeper level in our friendships with each other.  I was surprised to hear about Lisa R.’s sister passing away. It hits very close to home. No wonder she’s sensitive to everything happening to Kim and Kyle right now. I think her apology to Kim was beautiful, and it takes a lot of courage to bare part of a painful past. 

That’s why I couldn’t believe that Kim exploded.  Lisa R. started with an apology. I think this was about the fifth time she had apologized, actually. She wasn’t attacking Kim, but Kim definitely started attacking Lisa R. I was completely shocked by the level of viciousness, and I interjected. That's when Kim calls me a “beast.” Really? For doing what exactly? Then she hits below the belt about Lisa R.’s “situation at home”—whatever that is supposed to mean—and then tells me to “shut my f---ing mouth”? What am I missing? This isn’t our first night in Amsterdam; this is our first night in Crazy Town.

Then, Kim starts in on Kyle, saying she’s not a real sister. There’s just no excuse for Kim’s abusive and degrading behavior. When Lisa R. tries to defend Kyle, Kim hits again with an insult about Lisa R. It’s just getting worse and worse. Then she brings up this mystery insult about Harry. And that’s when it gets REALLY crazy. Lisa R. is pushed to her breaking point. I do not condone physical violence, but Kim is acting completely unhinged, and it’s actually frightening to see this. Lisa R. is provoked to a point that I'm not even sure what I would have done.

This is the first time I've heard Kim mention her grown children this way. I do have empathy for her and what her family went through, but honestly, aren’t her actions far worse than anything Lisa R. and I have said or done?

If it weren’t for Yolanda, and the amazing hospitality she’s shown taking us on this trip, I would go home. From what she has said, Lisa R. feels the same way. This whole trip just started, and it’s tainted by this horrific behavior. I feel sorry for Lisa R., because I know how frightened she was by her reaction to Kim’s ambiguous accusations against her husband and family. Kim’s slanderous innuendos really pushed her mama-bear buttons. 

Back at the hotel, Lisa R. breaks down. She tells Kyle that she will never speak to Kim again, and after tonight, I don’t blame her. I also feel totally traumatized by this upheaval. From the events tonight, jet lag, and lack of sleep, I get emotional myself. I’m having a really hard time being around all of this over-the-top drama. I could never in my wildest dreams imagine something so explosive happening over something that began out of concern. It’s beyond shocking.

So, the next morning, kudos to Kim, I guess? She went to see Lisa R. She must be there to apologize for her heinous veiled accusations about Harry, right? No! She’s there to explain why she got so heated. If “heated” is even the right word? After everything that happened the night before, the trauma, the insults, is this conversation really enough to just make it all go away? Apparently so, and now I am really confused that everything’s “just fine” again. I’m all for working to resolve conflict, but I can’t help but feel that Kim and Lisa are sweeping everything under the rug. It would be fantastic if Lisa feels that everything was resolved, but does she really? How could she possibly feel that after what happened the night before? That was a traumatizing experience, and I’m not buying it. Where’s Kim’s apology for making that veiled comment about Harry? Where’s Kim's apology to me? To Kyle?

WE ARE STILL IN CRAZY TOWN.

Because of our love and respect for Yolanda, we all manage to compartmentalize what has happened, and we go bike riding. Yeah, we did that, and it was hilarious. Biking along canals and passing windmills was the quintessential Holland experience. Meeting Yolanda’s "first" kiss (or was he?) was cute, too. The people that lived inside the windmills were lovely, and it was a personal highlight for me. Yolanda’s mother is amazing! She’s survived so much, and she’s battling cancer again. She’s such a positive and kind person; I see where Yolanda gets it. I’m truly in awe of her. I also adore her brother, Leo. What wonderful people, and I felt a true connection with them for sure. 

At the “coffee shop,” I’m starting to have fun and things with the ladies have mellowed. Thank God Kim decided not to come. For many reasons, that is probably a fantastic move on her part. I went in adamant that I was not going to have any space cake. But, like I said, I gave in to the peer pressure! It was just a little corner, people! So…we managed to have some fun for about one minute. We leave the coffee shop, and I hear screaming. I turn around to see that Brandi is ranting in the street. Honestly, she has become the biggest buzzkill! And I mean that literally!  She thinks we’re all “hypocrites,” and I’m really not sure why. Kyle was upset that Brandi brought up something personal in front of everybody, and Brandi doesn’t see the difference between her behavior and Kyle’s. So, here we have it: Kim and Brandi, ranting and raving, with not nearly enough space cake in the world to chill them both out.

It’s only our second day of this trip! I’m hoping that if it’s this bad now, it couldn’t possibly get worse, right?

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