Cast Blog: #RHOBH

No More Peace

Ep 10: Bravotv.com's Editor doesn't hold a grudge against Mauricio, Mohammed, or the mannequins.

Well Beverly Hills fans. In case I've offended you, I've gone ahead and gotten a nice bottle of gin. You don't want it. Well, call me Mauricio then. Just kidding. Let's try and recap shall we.

The Call
We open back at the restaurant with Mauricio continuing to maintain that the entire debacle could be stopped with a well-placed phone call. As Brandi and Mauricio get increasingly heated, Kyle steps in and tells Mauricio to stop. And then everyone else jumps in. . .

Ken jumps in to tell Mauricio he never listens and to defend Brandi. Taylor jumps in to say she's been through much more than everyone else involved. Yolanda jumps in to say she’s talking nonsense.

This fight is like some sort of tumbleweed that just collects everyone as it rolls along. The string ball just gets bigger and bigger. If they sit there long enough the waiters are going to start giving their legal opinions on the matter.

After a semi-calming moment in the bathroom and an amazing moment where Kim and Mauricio actually agree, people manage to finally close up shop. Brandi and Mauricio even have a moment where they almost make up, until Ken calls Mauricio a typical man. Ken hates to go against his buddy, but the thinks Mauricio was out of line. And suddenly the drama knows no gender boundaries. To the Polo Lounge for restorative cocktails everyone!Later, the subject of all that hoopla reappears: Adrienne and Paul drop by the Richards-Umanksy abode for a light meal. The gang discusses the big fight for the first time, and Kyle feels like the lady in the middle as she's still friendly with Brandi. Hopefully everyone can get this sorted before the next real estate open house or Moroccan themed dinner they attend. It'd be terrible to make this a trend. 

Yo: The Domestic Diva
Next we see Yolanda in her natural element -– making someone's home as fabulous as her own. Her ex Mohammed has employed her to decorate one of his immaculately designed homes. And so Yolanda teaches several people English and brings along her best lemons to make sure all is well. And Mohammed loves it.

And how couldn't he? The house is INSANE. Seriously, why does Mohammed only make the most ridiculous, lady-olive filled homes on Earth? Who cares if he's a bit of a task master about slouching. I'd surely allow him to fuss at me about my posture if I could be his child and live in his home.

The Psychic Friends Network
Kim Richards sees dead people, or at least she thinks she does. And thus she's invited her trusty psychic Rebecca to check and see if she's feeling things properly. And turns out her spidey senses are correct. Rebecca believes Kim's grandkids (and someone who isn't her mom) are always watching over her.

Frankly, with things going with the ladies as they are at the moment, the more people looking after Kim the better. Besides actual spirits hanging out, Kim has also seen a heart-bedecked vortex. Yes what you or I would call a fireplace is actually a portal into another dimension. And the door is open, nothing she can do about that now.

Mannequin
Let's just talk for a second about the array of plastic people in the world. Did you know that such a plethora of plastic people were available? There are gold mannequins, white mannequins, flesh-toned mannequins, mannequins in strangely sexual positions, mannequins that don't require a seatbelt. Kyle thankfully had Faye to help her sort out the myriad options and to make sure they are buckled in properly -- and of course to help her create the perfect store. I'm excited to see how Kyle's shop turns out. Hopefully the mannequins are fierce enough to support her threads.

Speaking of fine human specimens, we move to dinner with a few real ones -- Brandi, Marisa, her brother, and Marisa's very handsome husband Dean. Marisa doesn't think Dean is as attractive as what she was looking for but she guesses he'll do. As it turns out, that comment might even be a dig at herself. You see Marissa and Dean might have a little of that "brother/sister" thing going on, and I have to agree. They do favor each other -- not in a creepy never kiss way, but in a "Oh I see it now that you say it way." But no matter, they are a very attractive couple. And Dean can rock layers like nobody’s business. Nice plaid shirt/hoodie/blazer combo Mr. Zanuck.

Over dinner Marisa and Brandi discuss an upcoming trip to Vegas. You see Brandi has been invited to teach a class on female empowerment through stripping, which is obviously the next wave of Gertrude Stein's dreams. And so when she heads to an art gallery show with the gals, she extends an invite even to Kyle. What could bring them together like "Brandi's Night School Out for Girls"? Kyle is feeling the love and says yes, while Taylor abstains. If this is anything like prior trips to Vegas with these gals, next week should be a real delight. Though it is upsetting to know that Taylor won't be on hand to teach everyone how to eat cotton candy.

Is This Happiness?
The best of part of this gallery show perhaps wasn't the art (though it was amazing), but seeing Darling Ken spending some time with the tallest ladies of Beverly Hills. I'm glad that his moment with his hand in the cookie jar was captured both by the Bravo cameras and by Yolanda's cell phone. Also, I hope Yolanda always says "put your boobies in his face" instead of "say cheese" when she is taking a picture.

We also got to see a visit from Ms. Paris Hilton who Kyle admonishes for not keeping her as in the know as TMZ. I have the same problem with my niece (she's six and very precocious).

But after Ken's moment of zen among the models, he has a bit of an awkward run-in with Mauricio. Mauricio is trying to mend fences with gin, but he and Lisa are on the way out to dinner. Even with them being on the run, it seems like things were a touch tense between the gang. Mauricio even remarks how odd it all was. I don't like all this simmering tension. It worries me for what's to come.

Thankfully things look to be all vagina jokes and stripper poles in Vegas next week, so we have that to anticipate. What did you think of this week kiddos? Should Ken have been more gracious with that gin? Do you think Kim should close that ghost portal? Leave it in the comments.

Lisa R.: I Am Horrified By the Way Kim Treats Kyle

Lisa R. talks about what drove her to throw the glass.

Have you ever put a bunch of ingredients in the blender, hit power on only to realize that you forgot to put the lid on, so it sprays everywhere? This is exactly how my brain feels after this episode. There has been so much going on and so much building up that finally everything has just exploded into a million pieces.

What a relief it was to see Eileen and Lisa V. arrive in Amsterdam. It was only a tiny calm before the storm, though, because sh-- hit the fan almost immediately. As I watch the show today, there are so many little details and nuances that I'd forgotten in the months since the trip.

As soon as we sat down for dinner, you can see how aggressive and extremely discontent Kim Richards was sitting among us, waiting for the slightest thing to provoke her anger. She looked at whoever was speaking with disdain, just waiting to challenge them. Yolanda was a gracious hostess, though, and tried to make the best of what appeared to be a rocky beginning to the night. I, for one, found Yolanda's suggestion that we each discuss something in our lives that has moved us deeply to be heartfelt and touching.

As I spoke of my own sister dying at age 21 of a sleeping pill and alcohol overdose when I was six years old, I really allowed myself to become vulnerable among these women. I trusted each of them to let me tell my story and perhaps allow my words to be a bonding experience, so I took the opportunity to once again apologize to Kim for overstepping a boundary of hers. Had I known that sharing a story so deeply rooted inside of me would cause Kim to lash out at Eileen, Kyle, and myself, I would have never opened my mouth and allowed us to be left open to her uncontrollable anger and spiteful words.

The insults she continued to hurl at Eileen were terribly disgusting and hurtful. To sit there and insult her physical appearance, call her a “beast,” and tell her to shut her f---ing mouth was just beyond. I mean, even to this day, all I can do is stare in wide-eyed horror and shake my head in disgust. As for Kyle, I wouldn’t presume to get in the middle of family matters, but I am horrified by the way Kim treats her. I can only hope they find a way to settle their differences because this is just so NOT OK.

I'm just glad that I didn't strangle her on the spot, mainly because I hear the food in jail sucks and orange is not my best color! 

Lisa Rinna

Again it was Yolanda who tried to bring a little dignity and class back into the conversation. Unfortunately, Kim twisted what Yolanda was trying to do into a deflection away from her own behavior and onto my husband and me. Where on earth did that come from? I am fiercely protective of my marriage and my family, and I'll be damned if I let someone as disturbed as she create false rumors about my husband. I think it's plain to see that Kim crossed the line. That was my "DO NOT F--- WITH ME" moment. You have just met my inner gangster! I'm just glad that I didn't strangle her on the spot, mainly because I hear the food in jail sucks and orange is not my best color! The crazy part is Kim has met HH once. One time. And that was the night of the poker party when she had taken one or two or 20 of Monty’s pain pills, so who knows what on earth was going through her mind when she met him or during that car ride from hell.

Look, I own the fact that I allowed myself to be provoked, and it was uncool to break a glass in the restaurant. It was not one of my finest moments, but there's only so much my inner gangster can take before she goes postal. It was all very draining, and by the time we got to our conversation the next morning, I was really over it and not looking for another fight. Besides, we were in Amsterdam for God's sake, and it was beautiful and I wasn't about to let Kim, of all people, ruin my short time there, so I stopped reminding Kim that I had, in fact, come directly to her with my concerns and just took the high road.

Chaos and anger aside, I really loved being in Amsterdam, especially with such a wonderful and generous tour guide as Yolanda. Riding bikes through her quaint village to the windmills was refreshing, cathartic, and good for the soul. The cake eating was pretty funny and then, of course, more drama ensued, which I couldn't get away from fast enough. I was in survival mode already just trying to get through the evening, let alone another five days.

More from Amsterdam next week...

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